How to remove unwanted footer display and links in WP (and PHP, HTML) ….

This is a rehash of a previous how-to, but now that us WP “developers” have updated to v4.3….some of the unwanted PHP scripts and other junk may have returned to our sites. Let’s fix it fast–right now! In my case I prefer to get rid of the footer materiel that plugs a) the theme OP creator and b) WordPress itself. Why do we ditch PHP scripts that form the backbone of what the audience sees when they go to our-self-aggrandizing-website.com?

  1. Personalization – my site should contain MY approved content, especially links to 3rd parties
  2. Ownership– no one needs to know that my site is “powered by” ANYONE except ME, my associates and (mt)
  3. Control – anything viewed on my site NOT expressly approved by the publisher is unprofessional
  4. Anonymize – no one needs to know (or cares) that The Picayune runs WP or it’s reliance on a PHP template

Let me elaborate on Ownership – this is MY SITE! MINE MINE MINE! Pride is NOT a sin in the creative and technical world, 3rd party link-stingers at the bottom of my pages say, “you may enjoy this site but REAL credit goes to the open-source Web development firms that wrote some code running in the background.”
^^^^ F— them. The publisher built this site from nothing, the publisher
bashes his head in over every post and pixel, the publisher marketed the content and developed a loyal audience….THE PUBLISHER obeys all US Media Law and applicable media ethics…THE PUBLISHER creates original, rich, deep, informative, occasionally funny content… THE PUBLISHER was approved for Google Adsense almost a year ago. NOT WORDPRESS and certainly not a theme developer who’s code only loosely applies to what I still call “The Socal Picayune WP Theme 2015.”….so now that we’ve made updates, let’s try a quick how-to on what I call “WordPress footer anonymization.” Last time we had to re-write the “<>” (HTML & PHP browser directives) to “[]” as the “code” markup in WP 4.1 (or was it 4.0?) would glitch out, the WYSYWIG interpreting the brackets inside as real, despite the fact that the “code” (I’m still weary of using brackets for that word till the following test….) ostensibly tells your browser – “The following characters are all plain text – display them AS WRITTEN” — return to normal HTML when “/code” appears. For HTML beginners, this is the same as a bold command in a word processor. In a markup language a directive tells the browser what to do with incoming strings of text. Here is the simple example:

BOLD
— the rough equivalent of [strong] BOLD [/strong] –or– (b) BOLD (/b) ….again I’m using arbitrary beginning and ending brackets instead of “<” and “>” so as not to confuse the post the site will generate. Essentially in markup symantics, the directive %strong% indicates a change to the input string; the %/strong% (<—note the fwd-slash) indicates it is over. Ok…let’s give this a try… If WP 4.3’s WYSYWIG editor STILL bugs out on the “code” markup, I will post a snapshot this time instead of replacing all the greater-than & less-than symbols with ‘[‘ & ‘]’sTEST! 

  1. Dashboard –> Appearance –> Editor –> open footer.php
  2. Make a local backup copy of “footer.php” in case you screw it up
  3. delete or comment out the code snippet pictured below
  4. Update file (this will recompile the site with updated PHP script)
  5. Visit site – (for QA/QC)

*UPDATE* “code” does not work w/in a WP post – It’s likely that the markup itself is followed by another markup using the less-than ‘<‘ sign – this exception is either not coded into WordPress’ WYSYWIG editor or fails on the front-end of common browsers. I really don’t have the interest to solve this, so here is a snapshot of the code I removed:

//coment_out or delete

Let’s note what I removed in ditching the above:

  • A banner link to WP.com (or .org….)
  • A banner link to another webdev’s site

Let’s note what I DID NOT remove* (you won’t want to either. Directly above the call to a footer class, there is this command – “…do_action(‘generate_after_footer_widgets’);?> This fuction will return widgets embedded at the bottom of the page; MY content, so it stays. In my case, currently there are three footer widgets here– a plug for my fledgling podcast, links to other pages on the site and a calendar.

This test was successful on previous versions of WP v4 and is currently working no problemo on WP v4.3 running on a reliable server courtesy of Media Temple.
If you find the content here informational, entertaining, laughable or get SOME form of enjoyment out of it, you’d be doing us all a great big favor by checking out one of our generous sponsors. As always, there is no need to buy anything…not from me or any site plugged by me ever, but browsing Google Adwords-audited sponsors is of no danger to anyone. A banner ad may or may not appear below – the WP 4.3 testing continues….

Here is a less Object-Oriented example…this Stylesheets’s “original” author, or OP as I called one above, wrote so much unwanted junk AND script-kittied (nee plagiarized) so much of other’s that he mentions it’s “OK not to link to my site in the footer, but credit appreciated.” Sorry…. f— his “credit” take a look at the code:another footer removal example

Ok so as a courtesy you can see some names were changed and the Web site is bogus. Exercise: What PHP and HTML can we safely comment-out or outright delete?  To give you a hint this code will generate the following at the bottom of your page:

BlahBlahhoohooblahh 2015 WordPress Theme by www.someUnwantedBacklink.com Another Boring Theme

(another thing worth noting is that function ‘.date(“Y”)’ in this case will read the date from your computer, extract the year as a 4-digit integer and print it using the style defined for <p> in the stylesheet, I say this because it may not be 2015 when you read this and I don’t want to confuse anybody)

Ok…..ready? Here is a KISS-simple solution to wipe out all that nonsense (or rewrite/replace it with your own…link to an associated page or your client, whatver’s clever, You strip this down to:

</footer> </body> </html>

TaDaaa!

Is any of my content helping? If so…could do me a solid and visit one of my generous sponsors? I could really use the help. You don’t have to buy anything….that is part of The SoCal Picayune, Self-Similarity Studios and Tapper7.com promise: ads are clearly labeled, separated from site content and no financial obligation is ever expected of audience members. That said ….

*A note for beginning front-end developers: If I need to tell you why >? was not deleted, this is perhaps too advanced a tutorial – be careful not to remove /body or /html at the end of the file — again — make a BACKUP before changing HTML/JS/PHP etc. inside your page or it could be kablammo; you won’t destroy the site, but you WILL take it down and need to FTP as an administrator and swap out the PHP file to get your site back up. Unless you have unrestricted access to the backbone of your site … this will lead to a call for tech support from GoDaddy or whomever you use…and who the hell knows how long that will take? Learn as much about PHP, FTP, mySQL, HTML, CSS, JS and common contruction tools like Website Builder, cPanel and WordPress if you are a small operation – it will save you time, $ –and trust me it’s NOT COMPLICATED. These are not programming languages, they are scripts and applications – if you can put together a mean-looking Power-Point; you can do this!).
More posts, stories and podcasts coming soon, -t. []

Youtube and WordPress (hopefully) breathes new life into dying art form…

Around the turn of the millennium a new technology for animation was born: Flash. With it, an animator needn’t “a sweatshop in Korea with 50 animators working 24/7 at gunpoint ….and chickens running around”—said Mike Reiss, 26-year veteran producer of “The Simpsons”—Reiss is a four-time Emmy-winning producer, He wrote for Johnny Carson and Conan O’Brien in addition to a creator credit for “The Critic,” and scores of children’s novels – notably How Murray Saved Christmas, which NBC/Universal turned into a movie that aired Christmas Day last year to rousing reviews and accolades.

Flash can be programmed to do a great deal of the animation itself; a golden age of mature-themed animation made it’s way to the Web via Newgrounds and later Icebox. Icebox went defunct for a spell; they are back up though! With the advent of YouTube, animation host Newgrounds faded into the background as well. On the NEW Icebox, there exists ZERO NEW content, but all the CLASSIC animated series are is posted to an AWFUL WordPress blog (worse than mine) and the vids are hosted on YT-natch. It’s rough-around the edges but a whole lot better than nothing. Brilliant, hysterical, edgy and outrageously talented creations are resurrected…thanks to increasingly inexpensive Web-hosting.
This is a common model for modern publishing (I use it myself)…

WP engine: cheap…embedding video through YouTube – free.

Now all the fantastic episodes of SEVERAL brilliant “webtoons” are avail. It’s weird …. the episodes have so few views…Some episodes of “Superhero Roommate” featuring Brian Posehn…one of my all-time favorite comedians…has barely 200 views since uploading *ahem*
*scratch that…* “Leftovers part 1,” up for two years, has just over 100 views- I’d like to help him change that:

The surge of creative possibilities attracted a flood of heavy-hitter producers, writers, musicians and other artists. They were captivated by the ease of animating and the uncensored freedom offered by the InterWebz. In an eerily self-prophesying episode, Larry David piled on for a new series called “The Paula Principle” David creates a senator who’s just been nominated for president, he laments, self-deprecates and yells at his manager in classic LD-style, noting that he’s a complete hack, unqualified, in over his head…too stupid to do the job. Sadly…it was the only episode ever made. If I ever meet him, I will ask what would’ve happened to the “Complete Idiot” Senator, written an voiced by David himself and VERY MUCH a prequel to the style he would use on “Curb.” :

Only 290 views! How many times do you think “The Soup Nazi” episode of Seinfeld has been watched? I’ve seen it…3x? Would it be safe to say over a billion considering the syndication and DVD sets…and the fans who watch favorite episodes over and over again?
Another favorite of mine that has been brought back to life is “Mr. Wong” by Pam Brady. Mr. Wong is a SEVERE asian stereotype, his boss abuses him w/o mercy…and he gets involved with opiates, binge-drinking, hallucinations and “accidently” turns gay in this masterful series. The production value is top-notch. The main-theme played on the harpsichord at whiplash speeds in later episodes is a nod to how many heavy-hitting artists/musicians Flash technology attracted, here is episode 1, “Urine Trouble,” :

As you can see, this series was so good it was picked up by Mondo in 2009 and has nearly a quarter-million views since then. I assure you, episode 1 previously had well-over a million views through Newgrounds and the old version of Icebox.
Another series that enjoyed commercial success was “Queer Duck,” written by Mike Reiss, voiced by top-of-the-food-chain V/O KING Billy West (he was/is Ren & Stimpy amoung countless others on nearly every successful animated series/movie EVER – The Simpsons, Futurama…you name it). Rupaul joined up to write a SWINGIN ‘intro and outro that he sang masterfully. The gay jokes are hysterical, Reiss branched off from  The Simpsons as he was growing sick of the media’s portrayal of homosexuals, though he is not HIMSELF gay…at all..he’s Jewish, like me…and we have a tendency to come to the aid of oppressed groups; particularly those known to have an artistic gift (women, blacks and gays!) by promoting them…and taking our cut (Naturally…) Here’s episode two; I first watched when Reiss gave a seminar at Cal Poly, I interviewed him for the Daily and I asked him to show me the most offensive episode he had in the can so far. This was what he showed me….btw did I mention all the content is #NSFW? …I didn’t? Ok….well… it’s not…if you haven’t been fired yet let’s move on…sorry about that.

Yes..this series was so good it was picked up by Showtime.
He also created “Hard-Drinkin’ Lincoln,” which is self-explanatory. It’s about Honest Abe as an honestly s__t-faced, hardcore alcoholic, hijinks ensue and he usually gets shot at the end of every episode, making J.W. Booth a hero. It’s February, so here ya’ go….Reiss’ “Black History Month” tribute:

Speaking of purposely-offensive cringe-humor, great music and “period pieces,” “Meet The Millers” is one of my all-time favs…written by David Zuckerman. Dan Castelleneta (Homer S.) does V/O and Frank Sinatra Jr. wrote/sang the theme. It takes place in a xenophobic, commie-fearing, HEAVILY racist/anti-semitic suburb of Washington D.C.  in the 1950s. The father, an FBI agent, uses intimidation, fear-tactics, physical abuse and societal ills to his HILARIOUS advantage, which …naturally, he teaches to his children (when he’s not beating them of course)…Due to the Jennifer Aniston flick of same name, a normal web-query BURIES this great series deep down the list, even if you qualify the search for videos-only. I’ll plumb the depths of Youtube to find you an especially offensive/hysterical episode for ya, dear reader:

The dead-serious-severity in the voice of the older brother as he warns his black friend not to touch his sister and the BLAST against the French is daring and thought-provoking social satire…especially the ironic use of a laugh track when the jokes are at their most brutal not even 500 views yet.!…and now you know why the French kiss you twice!
So Icebox is BACK UP…someone setup a WP blog and assigned each series to a category. There are many more excellent series-es…es(????)….. I personally recommend “Starship Regulars,” I’m fairly certain it’s safe for work, it was initially scripted for network TV…”s__t” and “f__k” are substituted with futuristic terms, so it works. This one probably has the highest production value of them all. It’s a bummer there are so few episodes. I’m not a Trekkie by any stretch ..nor do I get too excited about Star Wars…sorry to burst your bubble if you thought I did. Remember: I’m a geek…. not a nerd; HUGE DIFFERENCE. I would’ve been all about this show had a major network bitten down on this…but, no dice: (Showtime did-yet it had a pitifully short run their Web site)

NOT EVEN A THOUSAND VIEWS!!! This is some of the greatest multimedia artwork ever created…and no one knows about it!
Even the new Icebox website is presented in carelessly written CSS…the videos out-span column-one, the new site is messy-carelessly slapped together-glad it’s there but sad to see it in such shabby condition. I present these on my site to promote the genius of their work…and to tidy up the FORMAT in which it is presented– Heroes of mine like Larry David and Mike Reiss (I STILL can’t believe I got to meet…even kick it w/ that guy in college…) THEY DESERVE BETTER. So I’m giving it to them. Check out some funny s— you’ve never seen or heard of before! None of my artist/writer/musician readers will be disappointed. This is Tapper-approved multimedia content we’re talkin’ about here!
My interview with Reiss was placed in the can at the Mistake Daily, so I have no access to it, but I’m in the process of extracting data off another old drive…I’m hoping it’s in there. I placed an order through an IT friend/associate, it took him a while to find the li’l gadget, there’s an issue with reading data off old IDE hard drives (obviously) plus I spent a little extra on a component that will interpret the data and send it out via USB 2.0, PLUS it fits in a case to protect the drive from electromagnetism. I don’t want to extract it from my old win95 box (ca. 1998) till it comes in….for all I know my cell phone …or a WiFi signal could fry it –frequency-modulation and EM are NOT on my list of expertise. All told it should work just like a thumb-drive –though it needs it’s own dedicated power supply, again, to protect it from getting sharked or de-magnetized. I’m srsly excited to get into my personal treasure-trove of writing, music and C++ code from my Cal Poly Dorm Days! This is from a tech-era when UNIX, C++/STL, Ethernet, Quake II, FTP, ICQ, IRC, Sun Microsystems, SPARC Solaris, Silicon Graphics (SGI) and Worms: Armageddon ruled the day! Facebook, Twitter, Google, Napster, .NET, even MYSPACE(!!!) weren’t even fully-formed IDEAS yet. It’s only 16 years ago, but that’s millenia in cyberspace-time. No one even says “cyberspace” anymore…see how dated it all is? In 1998, it would be six years until I finally caved-in and became the last man in America and got a cell-phone! One thing hasn’t changed…Microsoft still sucks.

Big-time fun to come…much of it (the interesting or historically-significant it’s) I will publish here.

So…..Is there any truth to the rumor that Springfield, ??…WAS IN FACT based on San Luis Obispo? I put that question to Reiss. Stay tuned…dear reader, stay tuned. []

Thanks for stopping by and please…many of you are spending too much time on my site. Did I mention that in the privacy policy? If not…Google reports “Sessions” to me….their clients are obsessed with it…how long you stay…only because they need to know how big of an “impression” my sponsored links made on you – so they report it to me daily. As for whom and how long? Per my privacy policy I cannot say, but some of you- TOO LONG, so again…get back to work, k? I don’t want to get anyone in trouble. -T.

SEO Marketing Scams, WordPress Developer Scams and much more…

The more I soak my dumb face in the development of this site, the more I get into …pretty much every single aspect of it. I was just fine with having a nice place to keep an online journal…now it’s getting noticed. A bunch of plugins failed when they bumped to v4…was that two weeks ago? Anyway, I fixed the problems but for some reason, I wanted to see if I could make it look a little cooler. I’ve been customizing the theme I settled on, testing a few scripts, a few days ago I started using cascading style and TODAY, I dug up a book my uncle gave me on Web Design – “WEB DESIGN IN A NUTSHELL” by Jennifer Niederst. It’s about 560 pages and I read every damn word. That’s just the kinda guy I am …there’s so many possibilities different things I can do with this technology I’ve buried myself up to the neck in it for months and I only just realized Ive hardly scratched the surface of what all the creative energy and traffic and readers could lead to. I can feel a synergy building. This is the most exposure I’ve ever had. I graduated at the top of journalism class, Cal Poly’s own 2003-2004 Outstanding Senior Broadcaster. I’d quit the Mustang Daily in 02, the editors only published my sports coverage, features and restaurant reviews…I turned in hard news all the time, covering every thing I could get my hands on…the students had a lot of problems with the community, The university was overcrowded and they were not just failing the students on parking and class availability…we had several women who’d been raped an murdered, a VERY disproportionate amount, The police were abusive and the fraternities (it was considered uncool-“paying for friends” is what we called it) were using GHB to rape women. One of those houses kept a bottle of “Faderade” in the fridge, which was, I suppose kept readily available? In case you unexpectedly need to rape someone? Just a sip was enough to turn someone into a corpse for 12 hours. One morning…one of them boys got up all hungover and dehydrated. He pounded the whole bottle. His roomate found him a few hours later when he woke up.

Another toothpick.

I had a line on everything going on, I wrote stories about all of it. Those editors would never publish my good stuff though…so I spent the last 2 of my 6 years at 93.1 KCPR. They let me cover whatever I wanted to. They even made me the News Director. I was there when riots broke out at our big Mardi Gras blowout…hidin in a friends garage from the police who rolling with those things that look like tanks…on bullhorns telling everyone to get the fuck out. Then they tear gassed the whole block and when I tried to run back to my studio I got shot by a bean-bag gun. By then I was interning at the local Clear Channel Affiliate I produced morning news and call screened the afternoon talk show. For the scandals they never published in the Daily, KCPR and KVEC let it all out….every monday they wanted to know sort of shit I got myself mixed up in…they encouraged it. Cuz that’s what I do. Whatever sorts of shit is going on? I get ALLLLLLLL mixed up in it. Maybe that’s why I cab still write a decent clip. I been mixed up in every sort of shit you can think of….and I got a lot to say about it.

There arent too many jobs in SoCal, or anywhere for writer/reporters/commentators….now I got this WordPress thing goin on. I’m not backing away from this growing readership that’s priceless to me. I want more—so I’m giving YOU more.

  • elegant lean process improvement
  • cost-saving (cost-free) techniques to improve the design, look, feel and function of YOUR WordPress Web site
  • Exposing the SEO scams
  • WordPress Consulting fraud, Phishing, Spammer Militia carpet-bombings
  • even LinkedIn is saturated by WP attack scams

I got tools for user-friendly, cross-platform, browser independent Web design, Simple concepts to grow an audience organically, ease in both engineering and presentation of creative content.

it’s becoming exponentially more accessible while the cost plummets

What we have today- is a temporal disconnect between “Web Design” “attracting visitors,” “Technical problems,” and “too complicated,” “no way I could learn to build a Web site….” THIS is why emerging technologies and tools attract motivated, successful artists but sadly, with that comes the morally bankrupt. Beware of those who now offer “Expert Web Development” and other assistance YOU DON”T NEED.

This is how to sell snake-oil in 2014….feed the fear of society. MY WORDS are as powerful as ever. They offer a means to the truth. Soon we will break down the online treachery that pervades all corners of the Net. You will see how it’s done from the inside and Domains, Servers and soon Actual Names of people who identify an emergent technology with a potential to give untold freedom of expression to the greatest number; human progress in its purest form—and use it for poorly planned and frequently profitless ethically malicious ways to make a few bucks.

To those who would seek to destroy a technology that provides not just an outlet, but a loyal readership I respect and am inspired by loyalty to not only write, but dive head-first into design….as the 4th Estate it will be ME who puts exposes who you are, what you do and how you do it. I can’t stop you, but you can’t stop me. I watch the cops, the criminals, the normies, the freaks. I watch the blithering fool on the corner and the million dollar housewife on Lexapro. I watch the watchers. There is no group, class, business, subject, theory or subject I don’t keep my eye on. You’ve caught the attention of an investigator, software engineer, hustler with not a shred of fear left in him.
“SEO Optimization Consultants” and “WordPress Solution Providers”are on notice…I got a story WIP list a mile long but the more they attack, the higher up they get. I’m here to help others… using WP to help your small business? I can help you….but I’m not tryin to take your money…I mean hey, maybe the trend continues for me and I get noticed by the right person…maybe somebody out there with a big site, magazine, station, podcast, vlog, youtube….maybe the next time the publishing/broadcast business opens up the books…it could be ME that gets straightened out you never know.

Meantime I got a nice big audience to cater to and artistically that’s all I ever wanted. So thank you dear reader you know how I feel…ahhhh fuck it….you’re the reason I write, you motivate me I’m starting to get my life back. Since 2011 I been laid off, my best friend has a brain aneurysm in a church, right in front of the alter, my fiance’ succumbs to cancer and then POW! I black out, I’m losin’ my mind, I end up in jail…I get hit by a car. I don’t even believe this shit as I’m writing I swear it MUST HAVE happened to someone else. NO WAY I survived all of that.

I can walk again. I got all my teeth fixed, I lost a bunch of weight. I makin some money, All up in the club…I’m lookin all smooth…..”I’m Barack Obama. I’m the president. I’m hittin’ that ass!” credit to Leon Black helpin me take today’s post out out with a pop That’s right. Cuz I gets mine!!!!

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