Usually I have time to find a WordPress theme that I KIND OF like, but then delve into hours of rewriting, deleting and adding my own PHP & CSS so a) the site doesn’t look like every other damn site on the Web and b) it is ideally remotely aesthetically pleasing, being that I claim to be some form of artist. This time it was not too hard to futz with the p-tags, the H1s, their colors borders, shading, typography, size, weight, etc you get the idea. I made a few other updates, 1) published another podcast literally to make sure I still new how to do it.
2) Gave the site a nice easy dark background.
3) removed hideous green and red text background colors I was using.
4) Made the main site image a screenshot of recursively generated forest scene, it draws something different and remarkably realistic each time it runs — and will draw more for every mouse-click. I wrote it in the Processing language in conjunction with another lover of random numbers and trees. I’ll post the code if I can find it.
5) Masthead appears as old-timey newspaper gothic image instead of cold, sterile title and site description. and
6) I posted this, so shut up.
Publisher, site & Cast placed on 30-day hold by Administration ….
Yes, Mr. Welke is a straight up J-cat 5150 18-wheeler on 17 flat tires TRUCK, coming to halt via e-brake, shifting into low, swervin [Durbin!] and hopefully coming in for clean landing amidst a runaway truck mound. Jerry’s easy Tenor will lighten the moment before the CHP places mne in 4-point restraints in a [hopefully] tastefully-buttoned up hospital gown. Methinks this JG classic was playing when they found the rig.I likie the ones with the blue dots.
TapCast, now finally with fresh builds of Audacity, WP, FFmpeg Encoder & libmp3LAME.dll just ejected 2 new casts to let you know the ICU found its blood type ….O-….. the tracheotomy was successful and it will slowly revive, as did this writer in 2012. You can actually place this mess via iTunes, but for you ‘ultimate lazys’ out there I have an important question; ‘do you like Huey Lewis & The News?’
Associates & ***Performers/Staff at Impulse!*** get at me via email chris.e.welke@gmail …. the undisclosed location where Q-list celebs (me) and fmr. A-listers (Miley) wear robes, play footsy, drink coffee, talk at each other re: ‘where it all went wrong’ wont be of much help. its secure/discreet/private & as a journalist i’d rather you not violate anyone’s privacy besides moi. My drop-dead-gorgeous Suicide Gurl/gf/friends/w/benefits ‘Nic’ 1st stayed there about 11 yrs ago and the clientele was shocking. Did you watch the Academy Awards? Ok folks..there they are, the bvig ass black dudes, theyve got as straight jacket…mmm..mmmmmph!!!!
eeeee yuuuuuuu exxxxxt unnnnf!!!!!! Eyerra ssss nnnn ugleeeee ffft piyyyyg!!!! uuuuussshhhhh idddddd n-eye-nnnnnn eeeeelevennnnn!!!! Rrrrrumpo is uBer eeeeyond ay……ay…..mmmmm! AY….ummmphf _AYYYY!!!!! [ok cmon psycho it’s quiet time, we don’t waste Mr. Drew’s time do we?] ‘then why did he hire two n-OOOOOOFFFF!!!!’
If you clicky I money….can you do this fucking once for me?
Before they pull it! A Mis Abuelos with the Belgian dude!
I saw this finals performance live with Stinky (great Euph player) we’d just about had enough BD/SCV/Cavs/PR/GF/Bones by that night, burt we didnt miss out on a chance to hear this one just 1 mo gin….s#!t A Drum Corps Fans Dream, part Dos yo!,
Reader Knowledge Test One – CompSci 101/Math and weird test …
This is a test in more than one way, I’m trying to see if I can create different sorts of tests, have the server grade them and issue results, perhaps [later] even a custom badge to prove you passed. If you are a regular reader of this site, there is a good chance you know a bit of science, electrical engineering, math[s] and therefore; computer science, that lofty endeavor that sounded like a great thing to major in [since you like video games & are good at math] but became questionable after you’d written your 2 millionth line of code a few years later. If you’re like me it was overkill, it made you hate C/C++/Java/Java(something) to the point of changing majors. Fifteen years later though, after an appropriate break from it all; the numbers (ints, bytes, floats, doubles, shorts, longs, unsigned longs, signed longs, real, imaginary, rational,irrational, natural, transcendental*) the abstract data types (list, stack queue..) the procedures (void goFuckYourself(Object
This will test your ability to understand the basic math and number systems that any (well most) with a compsci 101 equivalency can answer with relative ease;
this is a far more legit and adequate evaluation than you will find …weighted or ‘more correct’ answers will be far more obscured.
The first test will be OUR first “test of the test” so all the answers will be Integers; for the math guys, lets call this “all the natural numbers less than the largest int allowed by the Java Runtime Environment, which is ~= 65,000. That is, 1 is a valid answer, 1.5 is not (that’s a Rational number or a “float” in computer speak), 4 is valid, -4 is not (IndexOutOfBounds or, -4 < 1). 60,000 is valid, 70,000 is not (70,000>65k)…get it? ok let’s start with a review of our number systems; Base 10 (the one humans developed because we have 8 fingers and two thumbs), Binary, (developed by humans to represent an extremely low voltage as opposed to”slightly more than an extremely low voltage…we also developed it millenia beforehand the answer to an unambiguous yes/no question ie “are you wearing clean underwear right now — you either are or you aren’t, there is no in-between, it is also the unambigous result of a test — pass/fail, true/false…using numbers it is a Base 2 system; that is all numbers are represented by a 1 or a zero) and Hexadecimal (a Base 16 system developed as short-hand for Binary Numbers, 0 – f, commonly used today to define colors in RGB-Space) CSC 101 Math test
don’t think too hard (that’s a clue)….are you a level 99 empath?
extremely sensitive empaths will score highly regardless. if my test shows you are at a mid to low level, dont consider that a problem. trust us, this ability is
a gift and a bane. it would be nice to connect with other maxed-out-leveled empaths. Especially those who don’t have a book, a program or some voodoo shit
for sale. this site and this test is all about making human connections. I don’t want your $, but I need your attention (even though it drives crazy sometimes, both lack-of and overload….) *sigh*
Under construction alert ….
FROM THE PUBLISHER’S DESK — FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Anonymous Reader, thank you for the bug report. It seems my .post
style (the WordPress “text/css”) style— or the PHP… has an issue drawing content frames as of 10/18/15--column 1 is truncating on side two. If you are not one of my fellow code-geeks; plz ignore the geek-speak and just take note of the following:
DUE TO THIS BUG WE WILL BE FISHING AROUND FOR THE
OFFENDING LINE OF CODE THAT IS CAUSING COLUMN ONE
TO TRUNCATE PROSE AND CONTENT ON THE LEFT-HAND SIDE. APOLOGIES!
style.css & functions.php (& etc.php …er…etc…uh … are going to have the hood removed again; but I assure you the site is as secure, functional and jam-packed with original content as it ever was.
The Art Producer/Director of Self-Similarity Studios, Chris “Tapper” Welke; wants you to know that
“….the car still runs but the she may look like s#it while we are
under construction”>
Lonely Faction Production and SSStudios retain a policy, if you were not aware-
(From our SOP’s ref# ch.2_sub_sxn_5_article19_volume_7)–Tapper7.com aka The SoCal Picayune remains open during construction. No exceptions.
typesetting, fonts, pictures, background colors, colors in general, text-boxes, titles, widths & heights…they are all subject to change and may in some cases. look “bad.” or “weird.”
if I learn anything new while I publicly make changes (no worries about the content itself– the site is backed-up frequently) I will report any tips, tricks, how-to’s & hacks ‘should any present themselves,’ we find a gem or just find dumb luck
- Bottom line
Tapper7.com and all associated sub-categories of this site are subject to looking weird, then bad, then worse, then bad again, then ok, then sorta “meh,” then “; ok that looks original and is readable regardless of the reader’s manufacturer(HP, IBM, Apple….), device type (desktop, laptop, tablet, phone, ipod) OS (MAC OohSX.?, Windows, Chrome, Unix, Linux) or browser(Chrome, Safari, Firefox, Opera….)
Please excuse our “dust” — by dust I mean – a live site that isn’t as aesthetically pleasing as you….treasured reader, are used to it being.
along those lines; it is important to keep all my content up 24/7/365(6) (shutout to host sponsor: (mt)) because we get waves of readers here at the home office. For some reason; a few thousand extra of you guys stopped by yesterday, what were you all reading? perhaps one of my diatribes made it to fb, digg, pinterest or some other sm nonsense page. my analytics will get to the bottom of this (shoutout to analytic & ad-serving, legitimacy-proiding sponsor Google)
In honor of the ‘praised advertising behemoth;’ (yeah right…this just a test–period). Â here is one of their approved ads – it may or may not display correctly or at all, who knows….we’re under-construction, man! *ahem* “test footer-style, multi-media-enabled-modile-friendly ad in the frame provided; thk you that is all” – t
How to remove unwanted footer display and links in WP (and PHP, HTML) ….
This is a rehash of a previous how-to, but now that us WP “developers” have updated to v4.3….some of the unwanted PHP scripts and other junk may have returned to our sites. Let’s fix it fast–right now! In my case I prefer to get rid of the footer materiel that plugs a) the theme OP creator and b) WordPress itself. Why do we ditch PHP scripts that form the backbone of what the audience sees when they go to our-self-aggrandizing-website.com?
- Personalization – my site should contain MY approved content, especially links to 3rd parties
- Ownership– no one needs to know that my site is “powered by” ANYONE except ME, my associates and (mt)
- Control – anything viewed on my site NOT expressly approved by the publisher is unprofessional
- Anonymize – no one needs to know (or cares) that The Picayune runs WP or it’s reliance on a PHP template
Let me elaborate on Ownership – this is MY SITE! MINE MINE MINE! Pride is NOT a sin in the creative and technical world, 3rd party link-stingers at the bottom of my pages say, “you may enjoy this site but REAL credit goes to the open-source Web development firms that wrote some code running in the background.”
^^^^ F— them. The publisher built this site from nothing, the publisher bashes his head in over every post and pixel, the publisher marketed the content and developed a loyal audience….THE PUBLISHER obeys all US Media Law and applicable media ethics…THE PUBLISHER creates original, rich, deep, informative, occasionally funny content…Â THE PUBLISHERÂ was approved for Google Adsense almost a year ago. NOT WORDPRESS and certainly not a theme developer who’s code only loosely applies to what I still call “The Socal Picayune WP Theme 2015.”….so now that we’ve made updates, let’s try a quick how-to on what I call “WordPress footer anonymization.” Last time we had to re-write the “<>” (HTML & PHP browser directives) to “[]” as the “code” markup in WP 4.1 (or was it 4.0?) would glitch out, the WYSYWIG interpreting the brackets inside as real, despite the fact that the “code” (I’m still weary of using brackets for that word till the following test….) ostensibly tells your browser – “The following characters are all plain text – display them AS WRITTEN” — return to normal HTML when “/code” appears. For HTML beginners, this is the same as a bold command in a word processor. In a markup language a directive tells the browser what to do with incoming strings of text. Here is the simple example:
BOLD
— the rough equivalent of [strong] BOLD [/strong] –or– (b) BOLD (/b) ….again I’m using arbitrary beginning and ending brackets instead of “<” and “>” so as not to confuse the post the site will generate. Essentially in markup symantics, the directive %strong% indicates a change to the input string; the %/strong%Â (<—note the fwd-slash) indicates it is over. Ok…let’s give this a try… If WP 4.3’s WYSYWIG editor STILL bugs out on the “code” markup, I will post a snapshot this time instead of replacing all the greater-than & less-than symbols with ‘[‘ & ‘]’sTEST!Â
- Dashboard –> Appearance –> Editor –> open footer.php
- Make a local backup copy of “footer.php” in case you screw it up
- delete or comment out the code snippet pictured below
- Update file (this will recompile the site with updated PHP script)
- Visit site – (for QA/QC)
*UPDATE* “code” does not work w/in a WP post – It’s likely that the markup itself is followed by another markup using the less-than ‘<‘ sign – this exception is either not coded into WordPress’ WYSYWIG editor or fails on the front-end of common browsers. I really don’t have the interest to solve this, so here is a snapshot of the code I removed:
Let’s note what I removed in ditching the above:
- A banner link to WP.com (or .org….)
- A banner link to another webdev’s site
Let’s note what I DID NOT remove* (you won’t want to either. Directly above the call to a footer class, there is this command – “…do_action(‘generate_after_footer_widgets’);?> This fuction will return widgets embedded at the bottom of the page; MY content, so it stays. In my case, currently there are three footer widgets here– a plug for my fledgling podcast, links to other pages on the site and a calendar.
This test was successful on previous versions of WP v4 and is currently working no problemo on WP v4.3 running on a reliable server courtesy of Media Temple.
If you find the content here informational, entertaining, laughable or get SOME form of enjoyment out of it, you’d be doing us all a great big favor by checking out one of our generous sponsors. As always, there is no need to buy anything…not from me or any site plugged by me ever, but browsing Google Adwords-audited sponsors is of no danger to anyone. A banner ad may or may not appear below – the WP 4.3 testing continues….
Here is a less Object-Oriented example…this Stylesheets’s “original” author, or OP as I called one above, wrote so much unwanted junk AND script-kittied (nee plagiarized) so much of other’s that he mentions it’s “OK not to link to my site in the footer, but credit appreciated.” Sorry…. f— his “credit” take a look at the code:
Ok so as a courtesy you can see some names were changed and the Web site is bogus. Exercise: What PHP and HTML can we safely comment-out or outright delete? Â To give you a hint this code will generate the following at the bottom of your page:
BlahBlahhoohooblahh 2015 WordPress Theme by www.someUnwantedBacklink.com Another Boring Theme
(another thing worth noting is that function ‘.date(“Y”)’ in this case will read the date from your computer, extract the year as a 4-digit integer and print it using the style defined for <p> in the stylesheet, I say this because it may not be 2015 when you read this and I don’t want to confuse anybody)
Ok…..ready? Here is a KISS-simple solution to wipe out all that nonsense (or rewrite/replace it with your own…link to an associated page or your client, whatver’s clever, You strip this down to:
</footer> </body> </html>
TaDaaa!
Is any of my content helping? If so…could do me a solid and visit one of my generous sponsors? I could really use the help. You don’t have to buy anything….that is part of The SoCal Picayune, Self-Similarity Studios and Tapper7.com promise: ads are clearly labeled, separated from site content and no financial obligation is ever expected of audience members. That said ….
*A note for beginning front-end developers:Â If I need to tell you why >? was not deleted, this is perhaps too advanced a tutorial – be careful not to remove /body or /html at the end of the file — again — make a BACKUP before changing HTML/JS/PHP etc. inside your page or it could be kablammo; you won’t destroy the site, but you WILL take it down and need to FTP as an administrator and swap out the PHP file to get your site back up. Unless you have unrestricted access to the backbone of your site … this will lead to a call for tech support from GoDaddy or whomever you use…and who the hell knows how long that will take? Learn as much about PHP, FTP, mySQL, HTML, CSS, JS and common contruction tools like Website Builder, cPanel and WordPress if you are a small operation – it will save you time, $ –and trust me it’s NOT COMPLICATED. These are not programming languages, they are scripts and applications – if you can put together a mean-looking Power-Point; you can do this!).
More posts, stories and podcasts coming soon, -t. []
MuseScore https redirect error …. fixed ….
I’ve been using an open-source program called MuseScore to compose and arrange music for about two months. It is free and THAT attracted me since the closest answer to writing and testing music (without a large group of expert instrumentalists) is to purchase Adobe Audition…which goes for ~$300. I’ve been using the software extensively…they recently upgraded from v1.3 to v2 (and now 2.0.2) which shows improvements but is still loaded with bugs. My arrangement of “Adagio for Strings” was ready for publication three weeks ago but something went wrong when I uploaded it…playback of the Lead Soprano part was off — the whole thing sounded awful, so…glad that I decided to test it 3x + 3 ways before promoting it on FB or LinkedIn, I pulled the file off their servers. My attempt to repair the file led to the file ITSELF becoming corrupted – leaving over 48 hours of careful, creative, technical work in shambles.
Recently I repaired “Adagio” to the point that I’m happy to upload it to MuseScore’s server even though the harmonies from subito piano to the end still need work. To do this, I had to decide which score to pull. The company limits users to five scores total ….after that a “pro” ($) account is required, so I pulled Aerith’s Theme aka “Flowers Blooming in the Church.”
A few days ago I encouraged a potential client to “check out my Web site” to see what I’m capable of in terms of design, content creation…all that good stuff…..so I ping my site for first time in about a week…the main page loads slowly (as it usually does) but this time it redirects to my logged-out musescore account and notifies the reader that “the requested page is not available.”
Looked all over for a solution -no dice. It only just occurred to me that by yanking “Flowers” I’d inadvertently forced the main page of this site to try to embed a score that doesn’t exist (not on the server my page is making a call to). Instead of posting a dead link it kills the whole page and makes this writer seem less than competent when trying to advertise alleged “IT skills.”
This was an example of KISS. Simple problem had a simple solution ….there was no need to FTP in the back door or comb-over PHP code…it was a matter deleting a dead link in “edit post” mode which a child is completely capable of.
I apologize if this site crapped out on you over the past few days.
Mea Culpa. Lo Siento.
As a test, let’s embed “Adagio” ….which I don’t expect to tear down anytime soon. So far, reviews included “Not Bad,” and “I like it.”Adagio for Strings v3 arr. Tapper by Tapper7
WP should have PHP avail in the codex to automatically clear or notify the admin of dead links & or impossible calls to embeds that no longer exist. Meh….’till then I’ll just avoid making the same mistake. For your benefit I ran four external audits of this Web site including one by a close associate to insure that a) it works b) the redirect is gone c) the site is SAFE (malware/adware/spyware free) —-know that it was MY ERROR and not the security of this site.
To end on a positive note – this site remains spam free for nearly nine months and has NEVER been compromised since it’s inception.
-t