The California Register *Special Edition* drops….

a shot of the hard copy. The California Register. January 2015. Buster the cadaver-sniffing dog is featured; so is police corruption/laziness and/or incompetence.

….and this writer is responsible for a great deal of the content.


If you did not receive a copy of the edition in your mail or PO Box today…I published a PDF of the prototype below so you can enjoy my words as much as I enjoyed writing them. A full copy of the paper in finalized “ATP” as-is form should be avail. to me soon.
This is not EXACTLY what was printed, but now that it’s out there, here is the editorial as it was initially laid out … the Approved to Print copy is a hair different but my words and are essentially equivalent.
Por Vous: B7 to B8 prototype*
Viva la voce y la pluma libre! The subversive graphic…defacing a Cal Poly “concrete welcome slab” electronically by this writer and published a few months back on this site as dark-satire… (MADE in MSPAINT!) is published as-is in the paper…I admire the chutzpah shown by the publisher of this seriously cool newspaper. His name is David Smallwood and is known as “Pismo Dave” in the Five Cities area.

Por Democracy: viva la marketa libre’! Lee la advert abajo. Gracias!

*CalPoly: Burying the past to protect our future and all pictures and graphics associated with it are the intellectual property of Chris Welke, please obtain permission before sharing/reproducing/copying/printing/etc. Thanks! More to come ASAP. Stay tuned dear reader…and grab your coat cuz it’s gonna be long one. []

New content coming soon…. btw wtf is WP v4.1? ….

Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold tests his xmas lights handiwork

Heh… ain’t I just an SEO whorin’ out little bitch? —inserting a question I KNOW lots will plug into GS just to get you to come here….I really am a hypocritical douchey lonely loser zilch.
Uh….anywayz….I added that calendar widget to the right-column and noted I’d not updated in a week.
Well. Shit. So here’s a post. People ask me how I feel this time of year. I think the collective creativity of Terry Zwigoff, The Coen Bros., Billy Bob Thorthon and Frederick “Fucking” Chopin sum it up pretty nicely:

Get your shopping done? Got any $ left? Did you donate or hook up any homeless people?
whatever…should I even pretend to care when my real readers know that I’m moody this time of yr and don’t give a Fizzuck. They also know how I got mad love for ’em. Yeah…I’m talkin to you; in Los Angeles, The Central Coast, SD, SF, SJ, Santa Clara, Campbell, Stockton, Sac-town….Chi(“Shy”)-town….Austin, Rockford, Worcester, Milwaukee, Detroit, Tampa Bay, the East Coast of FL. Louisiana, Mizzuo, OK, Penn. Upstate New York especially Syracuse.
Mad love for Laguna Beach and Seattle. Dana Point, SJC and San Clemente. South County Style.

To my bad-ass readers all up in New Jersey, Maryland, Ohio, Indiana and Virginia.. My readers in Washington DC, Japan, Spain, Portugal, The United Kingdom, Canada, Mexico, Colombia, The Former USSR including the Ukraine….where I’ve never mentioned but….that’s where I’m FROM. readers there: we are kin. blood. Someday…we celebrate Chanukkah together. In your honor I’ve included some idiotic map gifs…do NOT THINK THAT I FACT-CHECKED data contained therein….I was just browsing for fun-stuff on 4chan. NO NOT THAT! OK…but it wasn’t on THAT PARTICULAR occasion, k? Sheesh….

a map of north america and walmart locations

Love for the randoms from Brazil who keep comin’ back. I don’t speak Portugese or know sh– about your country/culture, but I appreciate it when you visit…Brazil: “huge shout out to Brazil….huge shout out.”
The Cal Poly San Luis Obispo material is ON HOLD pending publication of The California Register, there are recent developments in the ice-cold Kristin Smart case. Go theere for details. Once that edition drops I will release hordes of info, anecdotes, stories and shit-talking on my good ol’ alma mater.

    Expect lots of tech-notes as I dive head-1st into:

  1. JavaFX
  2. Windows 8.1 hacks, tips, tricks, cheats, shortcuts, mudkipz, you know the drill
  3. WordPress v4.1 – migration, CSS, PHP, blah blah….
  4. How to – Optimize your Web site for mobile devices
  5. The usual security loopholes; how to sew ’em up and which holes not to step in
  6. Scams: who what where why how—-as always, served fresh
  7. Seven. Cuz This is  Tapper7.com. it’s 7x the TAP Muthaf—!

The more I learn, the more you will. I’ve got so much unpublished content I don’t even know wtf to do with it.
As always…My creative and technical services are available at a discount for readers of this Web page. Oh, I never said that? Well they are. Hiring managers: I’m avail @ $0/hr for 1st 90 days, risk free PLUS $2500 tax credit from The State. Inquire w/in for details.
On That Note: this is an excellent opportunity for me to to shove an advertisement all up in your face.
After all…what would Xmas be w/o advertising….specifically sponsored Sponsored Links? If you enjoy me, or this Web site, or any of the content I manage to assemble. Then… for the holidays, I would say if the ad below legitimately peaks your interest, that you visit their site. You’d be doing me and my sponsors a massive favor:


Will post again soon. till then…let’s get the fade on get DOWN yo! Happy Holidays EVERYONE. &heart -Tapper
a gif of moe from the simpsons
I Bend Them....Bender gif
a map of north america
Sponsor:

Special thanks for supporting Tapper7.com to the advertiser found above ^^^^ ****Update:(If it works…I rewrote the Javascript again (FEB 2015)) …even though I’m not supposed to f— with their code…whatever..like I care right?

Open during construction….

a memeorial poster showing Japanese Zeroes dropping bombs on PH.

Some slides, just cuz…

  • \
  • With Pooh Bear. RIP Big Bro....
  • 1997 Santa Clara Big Bores with Dean Westman and Jeb.
  • 96 VK Big Bores. RIP Ray Arias.
  • 1994 CVHS Leads
  • With Alisha....04 Banquet
  • Me n Michelle, in MS
  • Tapper n Joey B!
  • Me n Bill Watrous
  • Me n Beetlejuice
You could say this writer’s been pretty busy….you could say this writer sits on his ass all day. Whatever the case may be, the priority has been write a decent editorial for The California Register and setup/configure the hardware and software this li’l creative project known as Tapper7.com is going to need moving into the future.
I recorded episode zero of Season 1 of the Tapper7 Podcast. It’s not suitable for primetime or late-night, but I thought it was fun to make and once I figure out the specifics of creating a [1400px X 1400px] graphic and configuring the RSS feed I’m just gonna drop the m-fer.
So….if you are one of my valued readers in San Luis Obispo County….check your mailbox. You might see an editorial written by some idiot named “Chris Welke.” **UPDATE** Breaking news in the Kristen Smart Case has forced the editorial staff to place the holiday edition ON-HOLD ’till January.
“Expect us.” In your mailbox next year. We are NOT anonymous.
I had to scrap the PHP for this site and we’re…sort of starting from scratch. we ARE doing a full-on redesign.
For now it’s simply choosing a theme — I made a few customization’s, the site WORKS. you can read/access the information presented here…especially if you are a new visitor and end up here as a result of my upcoming piece in The Register and want to know a li’l more about the subversive, OCD, schizoid pseudo-intellectual known as Chris Welke.
Please make use of the comment section on any article if you want to throw me under the bus, compliment me or threaten to kill me…..I love comments. I publish them unedited.
Not counting spam, which has not gotten past our security ONCE since September. It makes creating content a trillion times easier but also throws off-would-be commenters. You can always hit me up direct w/o all the CAPTCHAS and math problems by sending an EMAIL (I know…) to:

chris@tapper7.com. If you would like your note to appear as a comment, you MUST wade through my system … as SNL called it back-in-the-day, this is a “ruining it for everybody” situation and I apologize on behalf of India and Red-state spam-bot builders who r—- the comment section on this site.
Follow the links regarding My Dearly Departed Better Half if you are interested in contributing to my/her work….after all…Dominique deserves all the credit. I learned to report at Poly…Dominique taught me how to WRITE. This time of year
….I really really really REALLY MISS HER BAD.
If you want to support this Web site…scope out the sponsors you see peppered around here. It’s easy to do, you don’t have to buy anything from them….just…check ’em out, you might even find a great holiday gift. Afterall, the algorithm matched ME and MY CONTENT with YOU and your known preferences. Google knows more about you than YOU do…so why not let them help you shop. Think the algorithm knows it’s neary Xmas and that you still have gifts to buy? Is that the dumbest f—ing question ever?
Forgive the awful aesthetics seen here while I put the finishing touches on more pressing WIPs.
Lots of music reviews, movie madness, tech reviews, cringe humor and the prose you hate to love is coming back on a regular basis with a vengeance so don’t trip-out on that dear reader.
“We” (I keep acting like there’s a team behind this juvenile artistic endeavor) will also be presenting a year-end tech review…we’ll pay tribute to all the devices that were damaged, lost, destroyed or taken prisoner (clipped) in the line of duty to bring Tapper-creative content straight to your dome all year long.

…a personal thanks to the people BESIDES ME who really DO help make it happen and the bloggers who qualified for my upcoming SHORTLIST: Tapper7.com’s “Blogs that don’t suck 2014.”

I’ve reviewed almost 4500 blogs this year for comparison, education and because I get REALLY BORED and LONELY sometimes….regardless, I’ve located about five…..FIVE!!! Count ’em FIVE blogs that are informative, creative, original, have a nice design, are NOT a scam and NOT completely full of shit.
We will honor and highlight those blogs because, well this is MY blog and I’m the shot-caller HERE if nowhere else….I also want to spread “the good-good” since all year I mostly just put “the all-bad” on f—ing BLAST.”
We MAY also put businesses, Web sites, people and places on BLAST for f-ing me, someone else or society over…just to stir up some s—.
….haven’t decided what to call THAT list yet.**UPDATE – Negative articles ON HOLD till holidays close, be ready though, this list would make my ol’ neighbor Dick Nixon VERY PROUD.” (Except for the not-keeping-it-a-secret-part). F— it.
No matter…thx for YOUR patronage most of all. If you enjoyed this site in 2014 – 2015’s going to keep you informed, entertained and maybe even laughing, SLIGHTLY MORE THAN 2014 DID!

There WILL be lots of music and movie-related comment and commentary.
The Podcast WILL launch or I’ll die trying.
Drum Corps will be visited and revisited and beat to death as usual.
If law enforcement fucks with me, you or anyone else, I WILL REPORT IT. Just like 2014…OCSD ON BLAST! (Nice time to shoot a black guy at HOLLYWOOD AND HIGHLAND BTW ….fucking LAPD man…..)…let’s get all mixed-up in the NY/Boston/Chicago/St.Louis race-baiting-racist-above-the-law-COP-fucking BULLSHIT cuz in LA….things go GREAT when the black population [overtly shit on constantly] loses their collective tempers, doesn’t it? hmmmm?
Rodney King, Watts, … Reginald Denny’s brick-to-the-kisser at Florence & Normandy? Yeah…let’s DO THAT AGAIN.<–sarcasm
OCSD, LAPD, SLOPD, OCDA, SLODA….you suck. [MOST OF YOU]: You’re awful. Incompetent, Incapable, Corrupt, Racist, Trigger-Happy, sneaky, full of shit and I sincerely hope you get AIDs in 2015 if you haven’t been diagnosed yet.
Oh yeah…that’s what I wanted to say…especially with the ultimate demise of The OnA Show and the fervor with which all humorists miss one of our own…one of our best. He’s black too. <= and would’ve loved that joke.
Patrice O’Neal…RIP Big Dawg. In HIS HONOR-THERE WILL BE AIDS JOKES.
And to the Japanese high command that bombed the hell out of Pearl Harbor 73 years ago…how’d that work out for ya? Get a nice face-full of Oak Ridge Laboratories and The United States Marine Corps? Ya DID didn’t ya?

Semper Fi.

Top 2 projects…

1. editorial for The California Register on Cal Poly SLO and the community that surrounds it….the cash they covet and ultimately the evil they condone.
it took 20years…but they SIMPLY could not hide forever.
2. Podcast hit another speedbump…thx to that really cool ex-gf who stole it…you uh…REALLY ok w/ stealing from a crippled, unemployed man you claimed to love? Who you made the 1st move on?…all an elaborate setup or too much shard? It’s OC so she gets the benefit of the doubt on my “YOU ARE A TWEAKER BITCH AND YOU TOOK MY $500 handheld recorder/mixer/player and prob. got 1 shot of smack didn’t you….was it worth it? A man’s 100s of hours of wk and hard cash…so u can suck a glss d— for 10 minutes? *ahem* forgive dear reader but this is one of those I-have two important steps for her:

  • 1. Get AIDs
  • 2. Die

(she even accused me of it coincidentally…I get blood-tested frequently due to bein 30 percent mechanical…id have faked a panic and said….oh…crap….rem when I did that thing…inside you…by accident? …..yeah, you might wanna get that checked out cuz my t-cell count would’ve made Arthur Ashe breathe a sigh of relief….oh me?
YEP-FBA Bitch!!! (Full-Blown-AIDs) to u non OnA Pests.—she had my wallet and $40 too. f— the 40 I wanted that DVR back. que sera sera ….whatever will get aids will get aids. Podcast to drop as soon as I replace the device OR get it back.

updates also to drop asap on these projects and other awfulness as we approach the Hhhhhh-h-hh–h-h-h—h–h–hHOLIDAYS!!!!!!!! Gagh! *couch* hack, belch [vomiting noises]…sorry just not fun w/o my special lady or my best friend. Not no more.

Quick Update: Cal Poly, Site Update, Project Status Reports etc. et. al….

An image of a granite welcome sign near the western edge of campus- a vandal has added "burying the past to protect our future"

Hello Reader!

Thx for stoppig by…this is an old-school, (almost! teehee..!) txt only what-up post…..
Interesting news development directly related to
The Cal Poly San Luis Obispo News Archive
can be found at The California Register. Read it. Like actually read it. There you go…

Youtube and German Soccer League:
Dropped bogus Copyright claim….
“The Love Theme” from “Dances with Wolves” arr., performed, recorded, filmed, edited and published by Chris Welke in honor of Dominique Mainon (1971-2012) is safe locally and viewable on Youtube by anyone at anytime.
There is no me or anything worth reading BY me w/o her guidance and wisdom.
Please visit her author page on Amazon-film buffs will not be disappointed.
All book purchases benefit her memory and your film-knowledge-base.
Your book collection will also benefit- it’s Value_Add CITY!

Podcast: coming soon – to integrate w/ this blog to provide decent content. More fun. Less words. Clarity++; Info++; Entertaining^2; Boring–;

More-on: Cygwin, Github, C/C++, C++STL, Linux, GNU, C#, D, R, CodeGolf, Bash, csh, gcc, UNIX, Solaris, Raytracing, Netbeans and Howto’s for all my Technophiles…all day and all night “it’s all good baybabaybeh!!!!” -BigPop
#NOTE: Author of “SonOfSamantha.com” still missing plz contact this site if you have info
…if you ARE her all my assistance/resources/protection are yours.
Much love,
-Tapper