Style and Code is under construction + Advertiser Audit is in process….

please note that this site may look strange until I have time to tear up the code and test it. in the short-term we wanted all multimedia files to be accessible; in my efforts to customize the footer.php file, the site became deprecated and robbed me of my ability to post certain content, especially music. I noted a bit of renewed interest in the 2007 Kingsmen Alumni Corps, of which I recently located a rare recording, so I cut up “Mambo” (feat. my boys Phil Norris on Soprano and Carl Allison on Baritone). I’ve sacrificed “pretty-looking-and-the-way-I-like-it” for “It works.”—–cant be posting links to music that you cannot see, click or listen too! in the meantime plz bear with the weak-sauce styles, colors, frames…all that good stuff I will spruce up asap. In the meantime I banned two questionable advertisers. No offense but if you want to “spread the word of” *ahem* “JeBus” you can do it somewhere else <------not misspelled see "the simpsons go to [some 3rd world country]" We don't want your money. This is a Los Angeles Jewish-controlled-Media site, as it should be. We are slightly left-of-center. To correct speakers at the RNC 2016 we are not atheists, nor do we “worship Lucifer.” We believe in God. we look at it quite differently from all Christians, this does not mean we have anything against any religion, it just means that this site is primarily a news/tech/commentary blog with an emphasis on design, art, music and editorials. It is not a place to hand out church fliers. The web is a big place….ostensibly, please consider 99 percent of the content to be secular in nature. thx -the publisher, Los Angeles, July 2016
*UPDATE* NUCIFIC.COM also banned – reason – asynchronous multimedia ad featured the truncated backside of an overweight woman in a white “bikini” (…..) bottom. It offended my delicate sensibilities and I wonder who would find the mystery product and/or service appealing BASED on the unappetizing image. Sorry but images of big fat asses (not even my own) are as red flag, especially on a site devoted to aesthetically-pleasing images, media, art, design, code, logic, prose …. and music. apologies if you saw that ad.
Four separate Christianity-based advertisers got banned along with “dookie bootie” on 7/21 & 7/22/2016 for poor taste and misalignment with the design and ethical standards of The SoCal Pic

That said hopefully the advert below is appropriate for me, you and all other readers/contributors/supporters of site. contact me at chris.e.welke@gmail.com if you ever see an offensive or questionable advert put BAD AD ON YOUR SITE in subject line–I will review and get back.




Another full redesign is in-process *Caution* Man working ….

I’ve decided to strip down the style and design of the site again. I’ve only just now (after a week on & off) felt satisfied with the new albeit temporary…presentation of this particular node on the Web.
I’ve written a heavy amount of PHP and CSS again, though they are not technically “programming languages” per se, they ARE subject to almost as many quirky dependencies, rules unique unto themselves; which are inviolable and require extensive research and testing to deploy. Hopefully you will find the site a bit more pleasing to the eye, faster, more secure, more responsive and easier to navigate.
In the meantime it is only fair to announce that we are officially “under construction,” so if you see something strange over the next few days, that’s my fault…. I’ve tested about half the “use cases” (things you might do, read, watch, listen to, click on or use in some form or another). Earlier today, the music uploaded to the private section of the site and the archived prototype podcasts vanished, they were unplayable due to bad PHP writing on my part.
I’m 90 percent sure you can watch all videos, listen to all music, podcasts, read all posts, view all artwork/snaphots/pix, read my stories, search the site, click on links and find the content you are looking for easily, quickly and regardless of device, OS, browser, ISP and service type (4g, 3g, WiFi, Ethernet, Cable, DSL …..). Before I drift off tonite, You can be certain that all of the “common use cases” are functional and that within a week, the lesser-used functions (commenting, guest-posting, all sidebar tools) work exactly as you’d expect them to.
Still on the to-do list is MORE formatting and design of the 2015 style and theme…. an audit of all media on the site (delete unused pictures, audio, video, dead links and raw text-data) an audit of all advertisers being served via Google AdWords to ensure compliance with our ethics and MY morals plus an audit of page-load speed. This will include a further dress-down and rewrite of JS, CSS, HTML and PHP. *Phew*
Thank you for hanging with me throughout your tenure as a reader! I’m working on some devastatingly interesting podcasts, stories, news, editorials….and maybe even a decent joke. No promises about bringing the funny, but you KNOW I always try!
For those about to waste time on the Web at The SoCal Picayune (or whatever sites you’d rather NOT acknowledge… “WE SA-LOOOOOT YOU!!!!!!!!!” -Ed

In the meantime, for testing and shameless promotion why not check out one of my soon-to-be-audited, yet generous sponsors? If the redesign is going well, an advertisement will display below, if you visit them, you help to support the site and me personally a great deal–no obligation to do so, or even to LOOK at one of my ads. As part of a long-term promise, there is nothing for sale on this site, so when I hint-hint-wink-wink-wink-nudge-nudge ask you to check out a sponsor I am NOT endorsing their product or suggesting that you spend a penny. A few seconds of your time however…I must confess, I do suggest as an easy way to support those who keep the site running, the hardware it runs on and the crazy publisher that does WAY more work on it than he should. *Ahem* wink-wink-nudge-nudge -From the Publisher’s desk with love, C “T” W


How to remove unwanted footer display and links in WP (and PHP, HTML) ….

This is a rehash of a previous how-to, but now that us WP “developers” have updated to v4.3….some of the unwanted PHP scripts and other junk may have returned to our sites. Let’s fix it fast–right now! In my case I prefer to get rid of the footer materiel that plugs a) the theme OP creator and b) WordPress itself. Why do we ditch PHP scripts that form the backbone of what the audience sees when they go to our-self-aggrandizing-website.com?

  1. Personalization – my site should contain MY approved content, especially links to 3rd parties
  2. Ownership– no one needs to know that my site is “powered by” ANYONE except ME, my associates and (mt)
  3. Control – anything viewed on my site NOT expressly approved by the publisher is unprofessional
  4. Anonymize – no one needs to know (or cares) that The Picayune runs WP or it’s reliance on a PHP template

Let me elaborate on Ownership – this is MY SITE! MINE MINE MINE! Pride is NOT a sin in the creative and technical world, 3rd party link-stingers at the bottom of my pages say, “you may enjoy this site but REAL credit goes to the open-source Web development firms that wrote some code running in the background.”
^^^^ F— them. The publisher built this site from nothing, the publisher
bashes his head in over every post and pixel, the publisher marketed the content and developed a loyal audience….THE PUBLISHER obeys all US Media Law and applicable media ethics…THE PUBLISHER creates original, rich, deep, informative, occasionally funny content… THE PUBLISHER was approved for Google Adsense almost a year ago. NOT WORDPRESS and certainly not a theme developer who’s code only loosely applies to what I still call “The Socal Picayune WP Theme 2015.”….so now that we’ve made updates, let’s try a quick how-to on what I call “WordPress footer anonymization.” Last time we had to re-write the “<>” (HTML & PHP browser directives) to “[]” as the “code” markup in WP 4.1 (or was it 4.0?) would glitch out, the WYSYWIG interpreting the brackets inside as real, despite the fact that the “code” (I’m still weary of using brackets for that word till the following test….) ostensibly tells your browser – “The following characters are all plain text – display them AS WRITTEN” — return to normal HTML when “/code” appears. For HTML beginners, this is the same as a bold command in a word processor. In a markup language a directive tells the browser what to do with incoming strings of text. Here is the simple example:

BOLD
— the rough equivalent of [strong] BOLD [/strong] –or– (b) BOLD (/b) ….again I’m using arbitrary beginning and ending brackets instead of “<” and “>” so as not to confuse the post the site will generate. Essentially in markup symantics, the directive %strong% indicates a change to the input string; the %/strong% (<—note the fwd-slash) indicates it is over. Ok…let’s give this a try… If WP 4.3’s WYSYWIG editor STILL bugs out on the “code” markup, I will post a snapshot this time instead of replacing all the greater-than & less-than symbols with ‘[‘ & ‘]’sTEST! 

  1. Dashboard –> Appearance –> Editor –> open footer.php
  2. Make a local backup copy of “footer.php” in case you screw it up
  3. delete or comment out the code snippet pictured below
  4. Update file (this will recompile the site with updated PHP script)
  5. Visit site – (for QA/QC)

*UPDATE* “code” does not work w/in a WP post – It’s likely that the markup itself is followed by another markup using the less-than ‘<‘ sign – this exception is either not coded into WordPress’ WYSYWIG editor or fails on the front-end of common browsers. I really don’t have the interest to solve this, so here is a snapshot of the code I removed:

//coment_out or delete

Let’s note what I removed in ditching the above:

  • A banner link to WP.com (or .org….)
  • A banner link to another webdev’s site

Let’s note what I DID NOT remove* (you won’t want to either. Directly above the call to a footer class, there is this command – “…do_action(‘generate_after_footer_widgets’);?> This fuction will return widgets embedded at the bottom of the page; MY content, so it stays. In my case, currently there are three footer widgets here– a plug for my fledgling podcast, links to other pages on the site and a calendar.

This test was successful on previous versions of WP v4 and is currently working no problemo on WP v4.3 running on a reliable server courtesy of Media Temple.
If you find the content here informational, entertaining, laughable or get SOME form of enjoyment out of it, you’d be doing us all a great big favor by checking out one of our generous sponsors. As always, there is no need to buy anything…not from me or any site plugged by me ever, but browsing Google Adwords-audited sponsors is of no danger to anyone. A banner ad may or may not appear below – the WP 4.3 testing continues….

Here is a less Object-Oriented example…this Stylesheets’s “original” author, or OP as I called one above, wrote so much unwanted junk AND script-kittied (nee plagiarized) so much of other’s that he mentions it’s “OK not to link to my site in the footer, but credit appreciated.” Sorry…. f— his “credit” take a look at the code:another footer removal example

Ok so as a courtesy you can see some names were changed and the Web site is bogus. Exercise: What PHP and HTML can we safely comment-out or outright delete?  To give you a hint this code will generate the following at the bottom of your page:

BlahBlahhoohooblahh 2015 WordPress Theme by www.someUnwantedBacklink.com Another Boring Theme

(another thing worth noting is that function ‘.date(“Y”)’ in this case will read the date from your computer, extract the year as a 4-digit integer and print it using the style defined for <p> in the stylesheet, I say this because it may not be 2015 when you read this and I don’t want to confuse anybody)

Ok…..ready? Here is a KISS-simple solution to wipe out all that nonsense (or rewrite/replace it with your own…link to an associated page or your client, whatver’s clever, You strip this down to:

</footer> </body> </html>

TaDaaa!

Is any of my content helping? If so…could do me a solid and visit one of my generous sponsors? I could really use the help. You don’t have to buy anything….that is part of The SoCal Picayune, Self-Similarity Studios and Tapper7.com promise: ads are clearly labeled, separated from site content and no financial obligation is ever expected of audience members. That said ….

*A note for beginning front-end developers: If I need to tell you why >? was not deleted, this is perhaps too advanced a tutorial – be careful not to remove /body or /html at the end of the file — again — make a BACKUP before changing HTML/JS/PHP etc. inside your page or it could be kablammo; you won’t destroy the site, but you WILL take it down and need to FTP as an administrator and swap out the PHP file to get your site back up. Unless you have unrestricted access to the backbone of your site … this will lead to a call for tech support from GoDaddy or whomever you use…and who the hell knows how long that will take? Learn as much about PHP, FTP, mySQL, HTML, CSS, JS and common contruction tools like Website Builder, cPanel and WordPress if you are a small operation – it will save you time, $ –and trust me it’s NOT COMPLICATED. These are not programming languages, they are scripts and applications – if you can put together a mean-looking Power-Point; you can do this!).
More posts, stories and podcasts coming soon, -t. []

MuseScore https redirect error …. fixed ….

I’ve been using an open-source program called MuseScore to compose and arrange music for about two months. It is free and THAT attracted me since the closest answer to writing and testing music (without a large group of expert instrumentalists) is to purchase Adobe Audition…which goes for ~$300. I’ve been using the software extensively…they recently upgraded from v1.3 to v2 (and now 2.0.2) which shows improvements but is still loaded with bugs. My arrangement of “Adagio for Strings” was ready for publication three weeks ago but something went wrong when I uploaded it…playback of the Lead Soprano part was off — the whole thing sounded awful, so…glad that I decided to test it 3x + 3 ways before promoting it on FB or LinkedIn, I pulled the file off their servers. My attempt to repair the file led to the file ITSELF becoming corrupted – leaving over 48 hours of careful, creative, technical work in shambles.

Recently I repaired “Adagio” to the point that I’m happy to upload it to MuseScore’s server even though the harmonies from subito piano to the end still need work. To do this, I had to decide which score to pull. The company limits users to five scores total ….after that a “pro” ($) account is required, so I pulled Aerith’s Theme aka “Flowers Blooming in the Church.”

A few days ago I encouraged a potential client to “check out my Web site” to see what I’m capable of in terms of design, content creation…all that good stuff…..so I ping my site for first time in about a week…the main page loads slowly (as it usually does) but this time it redirects to my logged-out musescore account and notifies the reader that “the requested page is not available.”

Looked all over for a solution -no dice. It only just occurred to me that by yanking “Flowers” I’d inadvertently forced the main page of this site to try to embed a score that doesn’t exist (not on the server my page is making a call to). Instead of posting a dead link it kills the whole page and makes this writer seem less than competent when trying to advertise alleged “IT skills.”

This was an example of KISS. Simple problem had a simple solution ….there was no need to FTP in the back door or comb-over PHP code…it was a matter deleting a dead link in “edit post” mode which a child is completely capable of.

I apologize if this site crapped out on you over the past few days.

Mea Culpa. Lo Siento.

As a test, let’s embed “Adagio” ….which I don’t expect to tear down anytime soon. So far, reviews included “Not Bad,” and “I like it.”Adagio for Strings v3 arr. Tapper by Tapper7

WP should have PHP avail in the codex to automatically clear or notify the admin of dead links & or impossible calls to embeds that no longer exist. Meh….’till then I’ll just avoid making the same mistake. For your benefit I ran four external audits of this Web site including one by a close associate to insure that a) it works b) the redirect is gone c) the site is SAFE (malware/adware/spyware free) —-know that it was MY ERROR and not the security of this site.

To end on a positive note – this site remains spam free for nearly nine months and has NEVER been compromised since it’s inception.
-t

XML test v7 – Override all PHP, CSS and .js | populate a WP page with custom XML. Success!

click here to view an outline in XML format. PHP 5 offers an @Override for all plugins and theme/css hard-wired to every WP install. It generates a blank pallete with a few simple commands (in PHP) that disable all my adds, stylesheets “background shit” that WP infrastructure. WP is great but if I cannot post a simple outline for instructional purposes, what good is it? Most plugins are incompatible with WP v4.2. This will come up as clickable link, I have yet to decipher a system to embedd pure XML into a post or page manually…if you click on this link you will see that code I wrote does just that…just not on THIS page. So I’m zeroin in on a solution to override all Javascript, PHP, CSS and whatver else is in the backbone of WP in order to display custom XML pages (and html, shtml….) w/o getting tied into the complexity of all my ads and style, media, calls to YT databases and other multimedia content that loads on the main page. Ideally this Copy Editing 101 tutorial should load in <1second. On avg. it take 6-9 second to load the main site.

The other goal is to post code or pictures of say…an educational outline by coding as opposed to taking a snapshot of the XML, saving it as a jpeg and posting it here as picture. That is functional workaround, but I don’t like it.

How to Anonymize your WordPress site and theme….

It's a bit neefy

Ok, so you’ve got a theme going, right? At the bottom it says something like this:
Copyright 2015; SomeStupidTheme.com * WordPress.com …etc…it’s YOUR Web site, why should anyone else get to brand it? It makes you seem amateurish to webdevs and potential clients, or a client that HAS one will say:

“This site sucks, it actually SAYS WordPress at the bottom.”

…if you have a legit site like this one, there is absolutely no reason to have this self-congratulating backlinking crud on the site that YOU PAY FOR, CREATE ALL THE CONTENT AND DO ALL THE DESIGN…

    ***Delete it safely with this example***

  • Goto Appearance >> Editor
  • Open footer.php (it is almost assuredly called this)
  • Make a backup of it locally, if you f-up the PHP, your site’ll crash
  • If it does, just ftp in the backdoor and swap out footer.php w/ the orig. copy
  • Delete the PHP that’s spitting out the Stupid.com*WP.com/.org junk
  • Update file
  • Visit Site (Test it!)
  • Laugh <—–CRITICAL!
  • Enjoy YOUR site: YOU.com, not YOU.com “Powered by WordPress”- that’s lame

Some themes automatically anonymize the WP stinger. My previous theme was called “Big City” at the bottom of any pg. it said Copyright 2014, Tapper7.com, then a logo of a cube (like the Netbeans logo). It was a 2013-theme and had past my patience with how poorly formatted all my images and embedded content had deprecated to, so I flushed it and started it back up….
– New Year – NEW/Stripped-down THEME, NEW CSS- the stylesheet is a WIP. 
If you simply follow the logic of the script, find the part of the script that is yanking out the junk you don’t want, be careful not to accidently delete the things you DO WANT and delete it! For instance, my footer.php file spits out an advert, a list of other pages I have and a calender. IT USED TO have a footer to the footer, that said:
By AnnoyingSelfAggrandizingBacklinkingBS.com * WordPress.org/com(somethinglikethat).
….NOT ANYMORE!! Lulz.
For this particular theme, I began by ignoring the warning to NOT MODIFY ANY PHP.
First off PHP is not even a programming language, it is a script that is easy to read and object-oriented so the code-writer is trying to scare you into thinking he is so much smarter than you, that if you touch his precious PHP, your site will explode. This is actually true if you make a mistake at this, again…backup whatever files you intend to change on your hard drive. Learn how to FTP into your site and FIX IT YOURSELF if it crashes. The only other option is to pay someone to do it for you, but Tapper7.com is always of the opinion that you should never pay for something you can do/make yourself or learn how easily. Information is free.

I started by trying to “Comment Out” the offending PHP, which looked appx like this:
***Note all “<>” are replaced with “[]” so the site does not get confused about what’s real code and what isn’t… the code markup tag does not seem to be entirely functional at present. *sigh* MORE PROBLEMS, regardless:

/* Comment OUT:
[footer class="site-info" itemtype="http://......./WPFooter" itemscope="itemscope" role="contentinfo"] [div class="inside-site-info grid-container grid-parent"] [?php do_action( 'generate_credits' ); ?] [/div] [/footer]
[?php do_action( 'generate_after_footer_content' ); ?] End Comment Out-->*/

I’d forgotten that commenting out HTML (when combined with PHP) merely adds a visible “//” or “/**/” to the offending crud I’m trying to eliminate. Yeechhhhhhh!!
Look at the above code. All I had to do was DELETE what you see above. Update the file (which will quickly recompile your site) and “Visit” it for QA …and Kakooooooosh….bye bye offending crud that does not belong on YourWebSite.com.
This is my site and I decide what goes on it, not ANYONE ELSE. PERIOD.
My advice is that you take the same pride in your work and anonymize all that footer-junk. You do all the work. YOU take all the credit. Feel free to contact me if something annoying is stuck on your site and you cannot figure out how to safely dispose of it. Btw, if you have NOT crashed your site by making a PHP syntax mistake, I recommend that you learn how to get it back online if you or some jerk who works for you DOES. If you have a business – knowing how to do this “your own damn self” and not worrying or waiting on some IT loser to call you back or show up or fix it for you …is INVALUABLE. I’ll provide an FTP tutorial at a later date and screenshots if there is interest in this particular how-to.

Now forget that my site is WP, ok…? Wink-wink, dear reader! Tapper7.com…powered by Tapper…and OCD. NOTHING ELSE. My partner in interwebz content shenanigans, Kevin Gamin also reports the useful consistency and w3c compliance of WordPress. SEO is mostly scam bulls—…anyone claiming to “know how the GS algorithm works” and promising traffic/hits/growth and improved Google Search scores is LYING. We have a reverse-engineered framework for HOW/WHAT & WHY when it comes to propping up your “Google Score” but current employees legally cannot disclose src for BigData – duh! Fmr. emplyees sign the standarn non-disclosure agreement; which is in itself OBS because the GS algorithmm is updated constantly. WordPress really does provide LEGIT “SEO” (*sigh* I despise the acronym and the consters it attracts) – simply by creating original content, organized on a Google and w3-compliant design. WordPress sites do in fact grow naturally. Luck would have it GS (as it stand today) “likes it”

Ex: you are a gardener – buy www.imagardener.— and start blogging about your garden. Keep it up and soon your site will start appearing on pg 1 of a GS return for strings like “rose gardens” , “clippings” , “fertilizer” …u get the idea. If you’re like me and want to career++; legitimacy++; then WP is the way to go, writing about what you love is the simple key to a big-time GSR presence. Then comes readers, fans, contacts, sponsorships, support, contract jobs and after six months of professional care and diligent/RICH content – Google MIGHT legitimize your site by approving an Adsense Partnership (That is; if they are still accepting new affiliates–when I applied, I was told that they were not approving ANYONE and that a massive audit of me, my background, my credentials, my media ethics and media-law scruples would be thoroughly audited by a mysterious algorithm AND at least one human auditor. All Google Forums on Adsense overload with “Why won’t they approve me?” I was told the audit would take three weeks. Three DAYS later, they congratulated me and accepted me into their evil cabal.

I credit strict media ethics, the original content I provide, w3 and IEEE std compliance, working-prof-knowledge of Mass Media Law and Evil for my quick “Holy Stamp of Approval” for my fledgling site. I post those carefully partitioned/formatted/self-audited/qa’d ads in a minimalist way that adheres to the SPJ Code of Ethics – it is more about the badge of honor than the meager $ I get. I can show you how to do all this and then some.
Despite my twice upgraded GoogleAnalytics.js accout; I can only rvw data for 90 day periods, but we are popping 100,000 hits every quarter now and my core readrship of 3,000 is loyal and I am humbled and grateful for them most of….also Media Temple who sponsors my creative works by giving me a website with all the bells and whistles; they even gave me the keys to pHpMyadmin AND FTP access so i can deal with backend issues on my own. My cousin and I created a comment-spam killer that took us from 10,000/day to ZERO last September.
Readers – as always – information is free @Tapper7.com – send questions and hate-mail to chris@tapper7.com if you’d like to send your site into orbit. I don’t even have anything for sale; which I’m certain endears me to the blog-reading public; there are no pop-ups, mySQL node is Kittner-Redoubt safe and spammers don’t spam – not no mo’!
My site is just for creative purposes; nothing is for sale. The implication being – if I can create a popular music/art/tech/humor blog in such an unexpectedly successful fashion. I look forward to the next small or mid-size business to sink my teeth into. If it’s exposure, Google rank, Google legitimacy, online reputation and unique digital MKTG —- hit me up. My methodology (Organically-Optimized Marketing) is proven.
As for content; if you think I published a lot this past year; for every 1,000 words posted, there are 10,000 sitting in my docs folder. I’m including rich multimedia into my posts now as well.
OWN your site. WP rocks, but it is just code….YOU build it, YOU market it, YOU deal w/ all the BS. Give credit where it is due as always, but YOUR Web site is brought to the interwebz by YOU, not WordPress.com, not GoDaddy and certainly not the guy who wrote your theme and warned you “not to mess w/ it” …like he’s some code-guru. Repeating myself I know but —CSS and PHP are NOT PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES …these dudes would mess themselves if they had to program in C++ or Java.
To sum – if you are building up a site – for whatver purpose – DO NOT HIRE a “WP Developer” or God-forbid an “SEO-Specialist” SCAM SCAM SCAMMY SCAM SCAM. I’ll help you for free and show you how easy it is so you can do it yourself. The kind words, references, respect and free beer are MORE THAN ENOUGH.
[]

Why won’t my iTunes or Amazon movie play? What is this HDCP error? My Computer is brand new. I own these movies! ….

It appears to be a front-end issue. Log out of iTunes and/or reboot your system. It fixed mine. There is nothing wrong with your computer, just the front-end PHP that’s not reading your sys data correctly at-present.
…you know what bugs the shit out of me though how big “software” companies stifle simple bug reports, not intended to bash the company, spam it or even suggest that they did anything wrong, but to help users experiencing the same problem establish a work around that will keep people ON THEIR SERVERS (= >$++ for them) while they scramble to fix the problem.

The following images and comments indicate that though heavily edited and compliant with all posting rules, iTunes help refused to publish my question and subsequent solution:
A snipshot of: why won't my iTunes movie play? from itunes servermy q. includes another screen shot of a screen shot, my relevant and useful answermore screenshots os itunes attempted post-proof.snip of iTunes help banning Tapper's helpful post

So I’m calling shenanigans on that…as for Amazon…frequently when I buy new digital multimedia content…the screen goes all blk or all all white on me the 1st time I try to play it. Below is my hacky artistic, mouse-made rendition of what that looks like …with the addition of my snide comment…below: a sponsored link. thanks for reading! lots of new, tech-news and music mayhem coming at your 12 asap—Tapper.
a charicature of the video content missing from a newly purchased digital tv season.



Christmas day….and the classic pics I promised! ….

a photo of rich skare in his 89 bd uniform

Featured: one of the special photographs I promised. Rich Skare in 89 BD garb w/ Meehaphone. RIP brother. What I wouldn’t give to be chillin’ with best friend today. I am in a way. heh….
Below: the other I recently obtained permission to publish. Gail Royer and Jerry Seawright at DCI. Bridgemen are seen in the background. ca. 1984 (???).
Photos Courtesy: Tim White and Sylvia Skare…special thanks to both of you and happy holidays!.
A photo of Gail Royer and Jerry Seawright at DCI in ~1985
Sorry for the cliche’ but…wow. ‘talk ’bout a picture being worth a 1000 words, this …what are they discussing?
Not a whole lot going on today. I found a relevant video to what I’d posted on trumpetherald.com, a lame brass forum I just got banned from. I was particularly active in the /range-building section (or whatever it’s called…), where people dropped useless spam EVERYWHERE and bad information about how to develop your range. I highly doubt you can read my “Rules for ‘Playing high'” which was only tongue-in-cheek for ONE of the rules, the rest were actually useful and appear here. I think my IP is banned. “Tapper7” is ABSOLUTELY banned. I must admit I started out TRYING to troll the site, but then I felt bad for the students reading the forum posts and learning poor brass performance practices that would limit their ability and I wanted to post something helpful. Funny it’s what got me banned.
Here is the OP in it’s full naked glory:
Rules for "playing high"
For the last time:
1. Play through the center of the horn, even if you like to place the mthpc a li'l off-center.
2. Vibration creates frequency, therefore MORE and FASTER air is req'd for each subsequent partial.
3. GET YOUR STUPID TONGUE OUT OF THE WAY DURING LONG TONES AND SLURS
3a.articulation should be "HA" not "Dah" ...."Dah" is for accent or legato, "Tah" is staccato.
3b. YOUR TONGUE WILL NOT HELP YOU PLAY "HIGH"!
3.4(Weed helps you "play high")
3c.anyone who says "tighten" "pressure" "spc. trick" "buy this mthpc" "do x w/ your cheeks/face/tongue"...anything that's not related to the PHYSICS of how sound is produced by a human using their lips and a horn as an amplifier is a f---ing liar
and prob. has some bogus book or vid for sale too. IGNORE OBVIOUS LIES.
3d.anyone who uses or buys a special "shallow cup mthpc" or buys any add-on or uses a special material in hopes
of "playing high" should quit or at least kill themselves. Your CG3 or 1 and a half is FINE.
4. You should have a solid "high C" by 6th grade.
5. You should be able to play confidently above a high C (as a soloist) by freshman yr. of HS.
6. dub-C by jr. year of HS(and go march drum corps like a man) or GTFO. NO EXCEPTIONS.
7. More air.
7a. The inspiration of the Billy-Bad Asses who came before you, that inspire you, met these req'mt's.
7b. A few of them did not march drum corps. Louie Armstrong, Clifford Brown and other
legends like Jon Faddis and Adam Rapa.
All OTHER RULES WERE/ARE FOLLOWED BY THE ABOVE PLAYERS TO A T.
8. More air.
9. Read rule 7.
10. Still needs more air. Breathe.
10a. Grow a pair. If female, do this figuratively.
10b. Not enough air. Re-read rule 7.
10c. It's not "all about practice" some people will never be able to play above a G on top of the staff (treble-Bb). Some have it. Most don't.
10d. Joey Pero can bust out "Gospel John" better than you. NO EXCEPTIONS.
10e. Scott Steward is an all-around better musician than you. NO EXCEPTIONS.
10f. Sean Billings is louder and can play way higher than you. NO EXCEPTIONS.
10g. Jim Prime. If that name is unknown to you---> fix that.
10gPrime. If any name listed is unknown to you---> fix that.
10h. Rick South said to tell you that "YOU ARE NOT USING ENOUGH AIR. MORE AIR."
Notes:
Yes I am the OP so that makes me a fa---- by default. Feel free to point it out. Don't buy anyone's bull$#!
chop development book. You want to know some slur-patterns I will post them NO CHARGE. Same for breathing exercises and common warm-ups. Hell I'll explain Jack Meehan's hand signals if you want. HE GAVE IT AWAY.
His sons built on top of it...then ALSO gave it away, to jerks like me.
I've in turn built my own conglomeration of their exercises, Arban's, Rochut's, those taught to me by Mike Hoffman, Dean Westman, Greg Flores and Gordon Henderson INTO SOMETHING I CALL MY OWN AND ALSO WANT TO GIVE AWAY.
Cuz we love brass performance, not spamming dorky web forums or making $ off bs.
Information is free. If you have a "how to play high" book and you want to spam this
site and impressionable kids? OK-maybe you know something I don't: post a YT vid of yourself
PASTING a dub-C....no warm-up, no lip-up...just HIT the m-fer and don't blow sharp like a retard!
Bonus points if you can shake the E above it and kiss it off. THIS OP REFLECTS THE VIEWS OF TAPPER7 AND NONE OF THE PERSONS LISTED-

I said I wanted to release my own brass method – for free, right? I presume that’s what got me banned. My 1st few posts were just awful and INTENDED TO OFFEND but people like…agreed with me. Some old guy from NC posted that my OP was reminiscent of an old-school brass forum he missed and that he thought it was hysterical and informative. I replied. “North Carolina knows what’s up,” then. BANNED. It will prob. publish on this site, why not? Cost – zilcho. I’ll even transcribe some cool solos for the back. I’ll write it in “Bb treble” so whatever tin-can you play on you can read it w/o having to transpose. I prefer “C” like as-written for a piano, but hey it’s just a whole step for me in my head – a minor 3rd for G Bugles and the exercises needn’t be transposed at all.
I also insisted that hacks spamming that forum with all their tips and tricks to “play high” that are “for sale” on their site to PROVE they can play above a double-C: in fairness. Here’s me. It’s not that hard.

If you are visting this site FROM trumpetherald.com…WELCOME! I’m not the greatest writer OR musician, but at least you’ll occasionally have a laugh with me…and I won’t try to sell you anything. Go buy a beer. or 36.
Also made the upgrade to WP v4.1 as-promised. Can’t really say if it’s better and I’ve yet to review the 2015-theme PHP (for now I’m sticking w/ my most recent customized CSS and variation on an old theme)…but it’s ALLEGEDLY MORE SECURE (This site is locked up hard…whatever security upgrades the WP people added is like throwing an extra padlock on a Kittner-Redoubt, but hey it can’t hurt! Happy holidays to all my wonderful readers. You know how it is with ol’ Tapper. I got mad love for ya’ …have a great holiday.

New content coming soon…. btw wtf is WP v4.1? ….

Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold tests his xmas lights handiwork

Heh… ain’t I just an SEO whorin’ out little bitch? —inserting a question I KNOW lots will plug into GS just to get you to come here….I really am a hypocritical douchey lonely loser zilch.
Uh….anywayz….I added that calendar widget to the right-column and noted I’d not updated in a week.
Well. Shit. So here’s a post. People ask me how I feel this time of year. I think the collective creativity of Terry Zwigoff, The Coen Bros., Billy Bob Thorthon and Frederick “Fucking” Chopin sum it up pretty nicely:

Get your shopping done? Got any $ left? Did you donate or hook up any homeless people?
whatever…should I even pretend to care when my real readers know that I’m moody this time of yr and don’t give a Fizzuck. They also know how I got mad love for ’em. Yeah…I’m talkin to you; in Los Angeles, The Central Coast, SD, SF, SJ, Santa Clara, Campbell, Stockton, Sac-town….Chi(“Shy”)-town….Austin, Rockford, Worcester, Milwaukee, Detroit, Tampa Bay, the East Coast of FL. Louisiana, Mizzuo, OK, Penn. Upstate New York especially Syracuse.
Mad love for Laguna Beach and Seattle. Dana Point, SJC and San Clemente. South County Style.

To my bad-ass readers all up in New Jersey, Maryland, Ohio, Indiana and Virginia.. My readers in Washington DC, Japan, Spain, Portugal, The United Kingdom, Canada, Mexico, Colombia, The Former USSR including the Ukraine….where I’ve never mentioned but….that’s where I’m FROM. readers there: we are kin. blood. Someday…we celebrate Chanukkah together. In your honor I’ve included some idiotic map gifs…do NOT THINK THAT I FACT-CHECKED data contained therein….I was just browsing for fun-stuff on 4chan. NO NOT THAT! OK…but it wasn’t on THAT PARTICULAR occasion, k? Sheesh….

a map of north america and walmart locations

Love for the randoms from Brazil who keep comin’ back. I don’t speak Portugese or know sh– about your country/culture, but I appreciate it when you visit…Brazil: “huge shout out to Brazil….huge shout out.”
The Cal Poly San Luis Obispo material is ON HOLD pending publication of The California Register, there are recent developments in the ice-cold Kristin Smart case. Go theere for details. Once that edition drops I will release hordes of info, anecdotes, stories and shit-talking on my good ol’ alma mater.

    Expect lots of tech-notes as I dive head-1st into:

  1. JavaFX
  2. Windows 8.1 hacks, tips, tricks, cheats, shortcuts, mudkipz, you know the drill
  3. WordPress v4.1 – migration, CSS, PHP, blah blah….
  4. How to – Optimize your Web site for mobile devices
  5. The usual security loopholes; how to sew ’em up and which holes not to step in
  6. Scams: who what where why how—-as always, served fresh
  7. Seven. Cuz This is  Tapper7.com. it’s 7x the TAP Muthaf—!

The more I learn, the more you will. I’ve got so much unpublished content I don’t even know wtf to do with it.
As always…My creative and technical services are available at a discount for readers of this Web page. Oh, I never said that? Well they are. Hiring managers: I’m avail @ $0/hr for 1st 90 days, risk free PLUS $2500 tax credit from The State. Inquire w/in for details.
On That Note: this is an excellent opportunity for me to to shove an advertisement all up in your face.
After all…what would Xmas be w/o advertising….specifically sponsored Sponsored Links? If you enjoy me, or this Web site, or any of the content I manage to assemble. Then… for the holidays, I would say if the ad below legitimately peaks your interest, that you visit their site. You’d be doing me and my sponsors a massive favor:


Will post again soon. till then…let’s get the fade on get DOWN yo! Happy Holidays EVERYONE. &heart -Tapper
a gif of moe from the simpsons
I Bend Them....Bender gif
a map of north america
Sponsor:

Special thanks for supporting Tapper7.com to the advertiser found above ^^^^ ****Update:(If it works…I rewrote the Javascript again (FEB 2015)) …even though I’m not supposed to f— with their code…whatever..like I care right?

Open during construction….

a memeorial poster showing Japanese Zeroes dropping bombs on PH.

Some slides, just cuz…

  • \
  • With Pooh Bear. RIP Big Bro....
  • 1997 Santa Clara Big Bores with Dean Westman and Jeb.
  • 96 VK Big Bores. RIP Ray Arias.
  • 1994 CVHS Leads
  • With Alisha....04 Banquet
  • Me n Michelle, in MS
  • Tapper n Joey B!
  • Me n Bill Watrous
  • Me n Beetlejuice
You could say this writer’s been pretty busy….you could say this writer sits on his ass all day. Whatever the case may be, the priority has been write a decent editorial for The California Register and setup/configure the hardware and software this li’l creative project known as Tapper7.com is going to need moving into the future.
I recorded episode zero of Season 1 of the Tapper7 Podcast. It’s not suitable for primetime or late-night, but I thought it was fun to make and once I figure out the specifics of creating a [1400px X 1400px] graphic and configuring the RSS feed I’m just gonna drop the m-fer.
So….if you are one of my valued readers in San Luis Obispo County….check your mailbox. You might see an editorial written by some idiot named “Chris Welke.” **UPDATE** Breaking news in the Kristen Smart Case has forced the editorial staff to place the holiday edition ON-HOLD ’till January.
“Expect us.” In your mailbox next year. We are NOT anonymous.
I had to scrap the PHP for this site and we’re…sort of starting from scratch. we ARE doing a full-on redesign.
For now it’s simply choosing a theme — I made a few customization’s, the site WORKS. you can read/access the information presented here…especially if you are a new visitor and end up here as a result of my upcoming piece in The Register and want to know a li’l more about the subversive, OCD, schizoid pseudo-intellectual known as Chris Welke.
Please make use of the comment section on any article if you want to throw me under the bus, compliment me or threaten to kill me…..I love comments. I publish them unedited.
Not counting spam, which has not gotten past our security ONCE since September. It makes creating content a trillion times easier but also throws off-would-be commenters. You can always hit me up direct w/o all the CAPTCHAS and math problems by sending an EMAIL (I know…) to:

chris@tapper7.com. If you would like your note to appear as a comment, you MUST wade through my system … as SNL called it back-in-the-day, this is a “ruining it for everybody” situation and I apologize on behalf of India and Red-state spam-bot builders who r—- the comment section on this site.
Follow the links regarding My Dearly Departed Better Half if you are interested in contributing to my/her work….after all…Dominique deserves all the credit. I learned to report at Poly…Dominique taught me how to WRITE. This time of year
….I really really really REALLY MISS HER BAD.
If you want to support this Web site…scope out the sponsors you see peppered around here. It’s easy to do, you don’t have to buy anything from them….just…check ’em out, you might even find a great holiday gift. Afterall, the algorithm matched ME and MY CONTENT with YOU and your known preferences. Google knows more about you than YOU do…so why not let them help you shop. Think the algorithm knows it’s neary Xmas and that you still have gifts to buy? Is that the dumbest f—ing question ever?
Forgive the awful aesthetics seen here while I put the finishing touches on more pressing WIPs.
Lots of music reviews, movie madness, tech reviews, cringe humor and the prose you hate to love is coming back on a regular basis with a vengeance so don’t trip-out on that dear reader.
“We” (I keep acting like there’s a team behind this juvenile artistic endeavor) will also be presenting a year-end tech review…we’ll pay tribute to all the devices that were damaged, lost, destroyed or taken prisoner (clipped) in the line of duty to bring Tapper-creative content straight to your dome all year long.

…a personal thanks to the people BESIDES ME who really DO help make it happen and the bloggers who qualified for my upcoming SHORTLIST: Tapper7.com’s “Blogs that don’t suck 2014.”

I’ve reviewed almost 4500 blogs this year for comparison, education and because I get REALLY BORED and LONELY sometimes….regardless, I’ve located about five…..FIVE!!! Count ’em FIVE blogs that are informative, creative, original, have a nice design, are NOT a scam and NOT completely full of shit.
We will honor and highlight those blogs because, well this is MY blog and I’m the shot-caller HERE if nowhere else….I also want to spread “the good-good” since all year I mostly just put “the all-bad” on f—ing BLAST.”
We MAY also put businesses, Web sites, people and places on BLAST for f-ing me, someone else or society over…just to stir up some s—.
….haven’t decided what to call THAT list yet.**UPDATE – Negative articles ON HOLD till holidays close, be ready though, this list would make my ol’ neighbor Dick Nixon VERY PROUD.” (Except for the not-keeping-it-a-secret-part). F— it.
No matter…thx for YOUR patronage most of all. If you enjoyed this site in 2014 – 2015’s going to keep you informed, entertained and maybe even laughing, SLIGHTLY MORE THAN 2014 DID!

There WILL be lots of music and movie-related comment and commentary.
The Podcast WILL launch or I’ll die trying.
Drum Corps will be visited and revisited and beat to death as usual.
If law enforcement fucks with me, you or anyone else, I WILL REPORT IT. Just like 2014…OCSD ON BLAST! (Nice time to shoot a black guy at HOLLYWOOD AND HIGHLAND BTW ….fucking LAPD man…..)…let’s get all mixed-up in the NY/Boston/Chicago/St.Louis race-baiting-racist-above-the-law-COP-fucking BULLSHIT cuz in LA….things go GREAT when the black population [overtly shit on constantly] loses their collective tempers, doesn’t it? hmmmm?
Rodney King, Watts, … Reginald Denny’s brick-to-the-kisser at Florence & Normandy? Yeah…let’s DO THAT AGAIN.<–sarcasm
OCSD, LAPD, SLOPD, OCDA, SLODA….you suck. [MOST OF YOU]: You’re awful. Incompetent, Incapable, Corrupt, Racist, Trigger-Happy, sneaky, full of shit and I sincerely hope you get AIDs in 2015 if you haven’t been diagnosed yet.
Oh yeah…that’s what I wanted to say…especially with the ultimate demise of The OnA Show and the fervor with which all humorists miss one of our own…one of our best. He’s black too. <= and would’ve loved that joke.
Patrice O’Neal…RIP Big Dawg. In HIS HONOR-THERE WILL BE AIDS JOKES.
And to the Japanese high command that bombed the hell out of Pearl Harbor 73 years ago…how’d that work out for ya? Get a nice face-full of Oak Ridge Laboratories and The United States Marine Corps? Ya DID didn’t ya?

Semper Fi.