Fun with Microsoft’s Online OneDrive ….

So MSFT…in a last gasp effort to get you to use their software; is offering a newer; slightly more useful version of DropBox. You not only get some free cloud space; but instead of loading you up with a 90-day bloatware trial of Office 365 [as they did last time], they give you trial access to OneDrive.com (sorry no backlink –btw caution; the parody mktg doc im going to try and post HAS active links, one will take right back to the homepage at Tapper7.com; but the rest will take you to #NSFW in any way shape or form sites….just dont click them (crud now I KNOW you will…) anyway lets try n post this….it should be obvious what was weitten by Microsoft Marketing and what was edited by this writer ….Test – see if link to awful parody works ….Getting started with OneDrive parody by Tapper v0
Happy 2017!

Support our sponsor below – help keep The Pick running like a well-oiled ..err… ok I really mailed this one in – better content and a new podcast coming soon – we have new equipment here at SStudios. Woot!


Update – WP doesnt want to post their PDF either – so here is the text in raw cut & paste form – remember I changed the link-rels; (if they work which I doubt…) dont click if at work or want to retain marriage! xD
What is OneDrive?
OneDrive is another shit product from Microsoft. And it’s free[mium] this means it has in-app purchases so we can try to trick you out of your $ or try to convince you to buy crap you don’t need. You get 15 GB of free storage with your Microsoft account, so you can store all types of pr0n in one place and get to them from any Starbucks
Friends & family can easily hack into your OneDrive files, including photos, login credentials, dating Websites and your bank account – even your “secret” pr0n videos, And OneDrive works with Windows and Office (in case you didn’t know that your OS is compatible with our nearly value-less desktop publishing programs such as “Word” “Excel” “Access” and PowerPoint – you may still use these programs if you fell through a wormhole and landed in 1998, so it’s simple to work with OneDrive files on your computer and collaborate with other people on documents. You can do this for free using Google Docs; or if you need to collaborate at the “above two guys running a weed clinic” -level; we have SharePoint; Sun, oops, we mean Oracle also has a far better product for this; but it does MRP/ERP and other useful shit rendering “Office” utterly useless; they call it Salesforce.com. On a budget? Open-source pioneers Apache offer a suite of tools for publishing; drawing; collaboration; dB, spreadsheets and all sorts of other useful functions; it’s called OpenOffice.
The clock is really ticking on our ability to make $ on Office so buy now….please!
Add files from your computer
To add files to OneDrive, just drag them into your computer’s OneDrive folder using File Explorer or Finder. The files will automatically sync across all of your devices that have OneDrive installed (so not your iPhone, your Mac desktop or your Android device (sorry!). So you can drag a photo from your laptop to your
OneDrive—and later open it in OneDrive on your phone. By that we mean the Windows Phone you don’t own.
Add files from your phone or tablet
To add photos and videos on your phone or tablet to OneDrive, use the OneDrive app. Even better—you can also choose to turn on camera backup to automatically save the photos and videos you take to OneDrive. So even if you lose your phone or tablet, you won’t lose your memories!
Add files using the OneDrive website
You can also add files from any computer, tablet, or phone by using the OneDrive website. Just go to OneDrive.com, sign in, and then tap or click Upload.
Share files
You can share individual files and even entire folders without attaching anything. Send an email with a link to what you’d like to share (in case you didn’t know you could already do this using any email client made in the last 25 years)—and rest assured that everything else in your OneDrive will stay private (except for all the people who already fished, socially engineered, brute-forced or simply requested your login credentials). To share items from the OneDrive website, just select the check box in the upper-right corner of the item and choose Share.
See, in software engineering; the requirements were to “add a method to share objects with other users” Sharing takes one step IRL; I hand you my smoke – done. But since this is Microsoft; where we begin sentemnces with words like “but,” “and” ….we build outdated software one wants or needs; our OS will crash if you forget to reboot; perhaps our most famously idiotic OS UI/UX design flaw goes all the way back to our first GUI; Windows 3.0 (which Xerox’s Parc Research Facility allowed us AND a marketing firm called Blueberry [or something] to build a OS’s that would put a PC in every home in America, later the Western World; now nearly the Globe) so it wasn’t us that invented it; but we know when to repurpose software & weasel out of paying! Anyway; as we started to create Windows; the topic of “shutting down” the computer came up….a senior engineer who hated C & C++ (said we should built it in Ada…anyway) he said “we already made “start” button; let’s just put it there.” A pesky C++ programmer piped up and said “…but stop is the opposite of start, therefore one can’t be designed as a subset of the other.” He was promptly fired. We hired another C/C++ guy who nodded and agreed with the sr. Engineer in all the right places; so we released his family from captivity and had the FBI drop the treason charge against him.
Collaborate with Office
OneDrive works with Office, so it’s easy to collaborate [its also easy to repeat yourself 3 times in 2 sentences!). Instead of sending around different copies of documents, you can give other people permission
to edit the document directly (just like any other CMS on the market!). You can even collaborate with people who don’t have Office installed on their computers—they can open and edit documents in OneDrive using Office Online. Of course; we aren’t responsible for other OS’s so the preceding statement is not only untested –if it fails its YOUR FUCKIN PROBLEM JACK!
Get OneDrive on your devices
Use OneDrive on your computer, tablet, and phone to get to your stuff from anywhere. You can download OneDrive apps at OneDrive.com/download.
Where can I learn more? For more info, check out OneDrive.com/about or go to OneDrive.com/support.
Whats the best way to kill myself?
Auto-erotic asphyxiation is in style for winter 2017!

Let’s play…I mean…create a prototype ’13’ deck aka Korean Poker!

If you are like me you played this addictive game at lunch, on the bus, during class…whatever you played it constantly because it’s seriously fun and a great way to pass the time. At Capo Valley, we loved this game because it was winnable even if you were dealt a shitty hand, the game encouraged a great deal of shit-talking and merriment. We’d also enhanced it with “insult rules” such as, while dealing, you throw a few of them face-up, just to piss off whoever you want to piss off. It also lended itself to so much cheating that we overlayed a rule; “If no one saw it, it wasn’t cheating.” Technically that is true in the absolute…the difference is that we encouraged cheating because it added more layers of fun, strategy, dexterity, options to win…the perfect game for college-prep band geeks who think to much and are fiercely competitive.

Common ways to cheat when you re the dealer is place a card you want on the bottom of the deck, dealing, 13 cards to each player beginning with west, you get the final card. Desirable cards include the 3 of clubs (whomever holds this card goes 1st…it is much like other games where whomever runs out 1st wins, going 1st on a good hand could end it). The ace of hearts is valued – any run ending in this card is unbeatable (thus you get to go again). Likewise, the 2 of hearts is valued for being the highest card – it is not unbeatable (a two-killer is a double-run-of-three such as 4,4,5,5,6,6) but it’s always nice to have, especially late in the game when most pairs and runs are likely to be all down. Another great way to cheat it to simply hide a card (or two, or more…) wherever you can hide it. The best place seemed to be under the left thigh or up my right sleeve. Another “layered” rule is that if you are caught cheating you forfeit the game (and winning if gambling is involved) – simply trying to look at other people’s cards is another surprisingly easy way cheat.

I won’t waste time with any more specific rules…most of you have never played it…still, the f-ed up ways to mess with the game applies to all of them (and that only scratches the surface) and you can apply the tenets and ideas in this post to YOUR preferred card game.

On topic – I’ve been brushing up on mu Java programming again so as a thought experiment I began to build a “Card” class (ADT, data-type, etc). Once I got that to work I decided to test it by creating an array (a list) of them and ordering them in the exact order they would go in 13. On higher level of this project are the following:

  1. A Deck Class
  2. A 13 Class
  3. A user-interface for the game itself

For now, I simply used my Card data-type to see if I could use a nested-for loop to populate the deck with cards as they from low to high in the game of 13. Software Engineers know that regardless of language, arrays begin at zero. In an object-oriented mode, I decided that “zero” had so little to do with cards/decks/card-games that I would use a place-holder for it. What else is not used…I mean…in actual card games? For most; the Joker(s), so in the interest of something w/in striking distance of elegant design; (in pseuodocode) 0=(string)”joker”
The following is the output from a Deck prototype, which hints at an actual 13 prototype, which is a thought rxp[eriment for the future…particularly the design of three players who can strategize against me…and..on an absurd level of abstraction…try to cheat me if the opportunity comes up and allow me to cheat the non-player-characters.

Below is the successful output from the v0 prototype of a 13-Deck
run:
whomever gets the 3 of spades goes first.
The following list will create a deck of 52 cards in ’13’ order
1. created the 3 of spades
2. created the 3 of clubs
3. created the 3 of diamonds
4. created the 3 of hearts
5. created the 4 of spades
6. created the 4 of clubs
7. created the 4 of diamonds
8. created the 4 of hearts
9. created the 5 of spades
10. created the 5 of clubs
11. created the 5 of diamonds
12. created the 5 of hearts
13. created the 6 of spades
14. created the 6 of clubs
15. created the 6 of diamonds
16. created the 6 of hearts
17. created the 7 of spades
18. created the 7 of clubs
19. created the 7 of diamonds
20. created the 7 of hearts
21. created the 8 of spades
22. created the 8 of clubs
23. created the 8 of diamonds
24. created the 8 of hearts
25. created the 9 of spades
26. created the 9 of clubs
27. created the 9 of diamonds
28. created the 9 of hearts
29. created the 10 of spades
30. created the 10 of clubs
31. created the 10 of diamonds
32. created the 10 of hearts
33. created the J of spades
34. created the J of clubs
35. created the J of diamonds
36. created the J of hearts
37. created the Q of spades
38. created the Q of clubs
39. created the Q of diamonds
40. created the Q of hearts
41. created the K of spades
42. created the K of clubs
43. created the K of diamonds
44. created the K of hearts
45. created the A of spades
46. created the A of clubs
47. created the A of diamonds
48. created the A of hearts
49. created the 2 of spades
50. created the 2 of clubs
51. created the 2 of diamonds
52. created the 2 of hearts
*QA test* The highest ranking card in 13 is the 2 of hearts
BUILD SUCCESSFUL (total time: 0 seconds)

It works! Created using the Netbeans IDE 8.0.2 on a win8.1 box using the Java SE 8 or Java 1.8 as I call it. SRC follows:

package card;
/** WIP - create a card ADT and enumerate it into a deck
* per "13" rules aka Korean Poker
* @author Tapper7.com last stable build - 12/15 &c ssstudios, los angeles, ca
*/
public class Card{
int suit;
int rank;
Card(){
this.suit = 0;
this.rank = 0;
}//null constr
Card(int suit, int rank){
this.suit = suit;
this.rank = rank;
}//fully-formed constructor to be used when a new card is instantiated
public static void showCard(Card theCard){
//cards are ranked as they are in 13 aka korean poker
//"jokers" hold null memory space so we arent using zeroes
String[] s = {"joker", "spades", "clubs", "diamonds", "hearts"};
String[] r = {"joker", "3", "4", "5", "6", "7", "8",
"9", "10", "J", "Q", "K", "A", "2"};
System.out.println(r[theCard.rank] + " of " + s[theCard.suit]);
}

public static void main(String[] args){
//create an array of cards
Card[] mydeck = new Card[54]; //array is oversized for debug
mydeck[0] = new Card(1,1);       //initialize
//test that the lowest card is created correctly
System.out.print(“whomever gets the “);
Card.showCard(mydeck[0]);
System.out.println(“goes first.”);
//populate the 13 deck in order fro m low to high
int currentCard = 1;
int suits = 1;
int ranks = 1;
System.out.println(“The following list will create a deck of 52 cards in ’13’ order”);
for(ranks = 1; ranks < 14; ranks++){//outerloop the ranks from 3 to 2
for(suits = 1; suits < 5; suits++){
mydeck[currentCard] = new Card(suits, ranks);
System.out.print(currentCard+”. “);
System.out.print(” created the “);
Card.showCard(mydeck[currentCard]);
currentCard++; //increment deck position
}//end inner loop
}//end outer loop
//test that the algorithm put the highest card in the correct index:
System.out.print(“*QA test* The highest ranking card in 13 is the “);
Card.showCard(mydeck[52]);
}//end mn
}//end prototype
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