Fun with Microsoft’s Online OneDrive ….

So MSFT…in a last gasp effort to get you to use their software; is offering a newer; slightly more useful version of DropBox. You not only get some free cloud space; but instead of loading you up with a 90-day bloatware trial of Office 365 [as they did last time], they give you trial access to (sorry no backlink –btw caution; the parody mktg doc im going to try and post HAS active links, one will take right back to the homepage at; but the rest will take you to #NSFW in any way shape or form sites….just dont click them (crud now I KNOW you will…) anyway lets try n post this….it should be obvious what was weitten by Microsoft Marketing and what was edited by this writer ….Test – see if link to awful parody works ….Getting started with OneDrive parody by Tapper v0
Happy 2017!

Support our sponsor below – help keep The Pick running like a well-oiled ..err… ok I really mailed this one in – better content and a new podcast coming soon – we have new equipment here at SStudios. Woot!

Update – WP doesnt want to post their PDF either – so here is the text in raw cut & paste form – remember I changed the link-rels; (if they work which I doubt…) dont click if at work or want to retain marriage! xD
What is OneDrive?
OneDrive is another shit product from Microsoft. And it’s free[mium] this means it has in-app purchases so we can try to trick you out of your $ or try to convince you to buy crap you don’t need. You get 15 GB of free storage with your Microsoft account, so you can store all types of pr0n in one place and get to them from any Starbucks
Friends & family can easily hack into your OneDrive files, including photos, login credentials, dating Websites and your bank account – even your “secret” pr0n videos, And OneDrive works with Windows and Office (in case you didn’t know that your OS is compatible with our nearly value-less desktop publishing programs such as “Word” “Excel” “Access” and PowerPoint – you may still use these programs if you fell through a wormhole and landed in 1998, so it’s simple to work with OneDrive files on your computer and collaborate with other people on documents. You can do this for free using Google Docs; or if you need to collaborate at the “above two guys running a weed clinic” -level; we have SharePoint; Sun, oops, we mean Oracle also has a far better product for this; but it does MRP/ERP and other useful shit rendering “Office” utterly useless; they call it On a budget? Open-source pioneers Apache offer a suite of tools for publishing; drawing; collaboration; dB, spreadsheets and all sorts of other useful functions; it’s called OpenOffice.
The clock is really ticking on our ability to make $ on Office so buy now….please!
Add files from your computer
To add files to OneDrive, just drag them into your computer’s OneDrive folder using File Explorer or Finder. The files will automatically sync across all of your devices that have OneDrive installed (so not your iPhone, your Mac desktop or your Android device (sorry!). So you can drag a photo from your laptop to your
OneDrive—and later open it in OneDrive on your phone. By that we mean the Windows Phone you don’t own.
Add files from your phone or tablet
To add photos and videos on your phone or tablet to OneDrive, use the OneDrive app. Even better—you can also choose to turn on camera backup to automatically save the photos and videos you take to OneDrive. So even if you lose your phone or tablet, you won’t lose your memories!
Add files using the OneDrive website
You can also add files from any computer, tablet, or phone by using the OneDrive website. Just go to, sign in, and then tap or click Upload.
Share files
You can share individual files and even entire folders without attaching anything. Send an email with a link to what you’d like to share (in case you didn’t know you could already do this using any email client made in the last 25 years)—and rest assured that everything else in your OneDrive will stay private (except for all the people who already fished, socially engineered, brute-forced or simply requested your login credentials). To share items from the OneDrive website, just select the check box in the upper-right corner of the item and choose Share.
See, in software engineering; the requirements were to “add a method to share objects with other users” Sharing takes one step IRL; I hand you my smoke – done. But since this is Microsoft; where we begin sentemnces with words like “but,” “and” ….we build outdated software one wants or needs; our OS will crash if you forget to reboot; perhaps our most famously idiotic OS UI/UX design flaw goes all the way back to our first GUI; Windows 3.0 (which Xerox’s Parc Research Facility allowed us AND a marketing firm called Blueberry [or something] to build a OS’s that would put a PC in every home in America, later the Western World; now nearly the Globe) so it wasn’t us that invented it; but we know when to repurpose software & weasel out of paying! Anyway; as we started to create Windows; the topic of “shutting down” the computer came up….a senior engineer who hated C & C++ (said we should built it in Ada…anyway) he said “we already made “start” button; let’s just put it there.” A pesky C++ programmer piped up and said “…but stop is the opposite of start, therefore one can’t be designed as a subset of the other.” He was promptly fired. We hired another C/C++ guy who nodded and agreed with the sr. Engineer in all the right places; so we released his family from captivity and had the FBI drop the treason charge against him.
Collaborate with Office
OneDrive works with Office, so it’s easy to collaborate [its also easy to repeat yourself 3 times in 2 sentences!). Instead of sending around different copies of documents, you can give other people permission
to edit the document directly (just like any other CMS on the market!). You can even collaborate with people who don’t have Office installed on their computers—they can open and edit documents in OneDrive using Office Online. Of course; we aren’t responsible for other OS’s so the preceding statement is not only untested –if it fails its YOUR FUCKIN PROBLEM JACK!
Get OneDrive on your devices
Use OneDrive on your computer, tablet, and phone to get to your stuff from anywhere. You can download OneDrive apps at
Where can I learn more? For more info, check out or go to
Whats the best way to kill myself?
Auto-erotic asphyxiation is in style for winter 2017!

Something Self-Similar ….

see src in post

I named my home-studio “Self-Similarity Studios” because I’ve always had an affinity for things in science and nature that affect this quality. “AS ABOVE …. SO BELOW” Think about a rock. Hold it in your hand…what color is it? What shape does it have? Note that the rock you are holding and a mountain (or significantly large hill) MAY look alike….just on different scales. Two inches of a shoreline, viewed from above, with a few hundred bits of sand – MAY look like … two MILES of shoreline from 100 stories above, with a few hundred large rocks. Rocks, mountains, trees, shells, coastlines….they all exhibit a self-similarity. This is where nature and artificiality intersect and dove-tail in strange and striking ways. (More images, experiments and abstraction forthcoming)

I briefly had access to tools that could render graphics quickly (and cost-free) – this was the Silicon Graphics Lab at Cal Poly, donated by SGI, the lab ran about 30 workstations, each running SPARC SOLARIS 7 and all wired into a mainframe capable of doing the massive amounts of calculations needed to draw a frame (or a million, as in a feature-length CGI-animated motion picture) required to not only calculate and store (print; if need be) but depict images that elicit pure aesthetic beauty.

Ahhh….where Logic and Art intersect. On the chipset just beneath my fingers and the never-ending-thought-machine hard-wired to my skull and backbone.

To me; numbers are a simple, spiritual truth. People use numbers to lie all the time; but one can NEVER be deprived of its “one-ness” Carl Sagan said, “The simplest thought like the concept of the number one; is an elaborate logical underpinning. The brain has it’s own language for testing the elegance and consistency of the world.” One is one. QED.
If WWWIII begins at dawn; two will be a prime number. If x is an odd integer, then x + 2 will also be odd. The square root of 2 will be irrational; The sum of The Cantor Set DsubH will be transcendental. Our universe could be obliterated in an instant, but there will still be five and only five regular solids.*
I don’t know about you but I take comfort in that.

Anyway….I had access to this lab for a year; these machines, combined, would still (many years later) dwarf the computing power of yours or my CPU. These machines were used for Raytracing; most famously 1st used in entertainment/(Art!) by John Laseter; the Academy Award winning producer of the short “Luxo Jr.” (and founder of PIXAR).

a frame from luxo jr
How real does this frame look TO YOU?

Luxo is just a lamp, but it took parallel processors days to make him look up, or turn, or jump. Why? – A raytraced image is a 3D scene (Picture the two lamps)….There is ambient and natural light reflected off them, they also project their own artificial light. That’s a lot of photons bouncing around a simple scene – to make it look real; Laseter perfected a technique whereby:
DO (~a million calculations to determine it’s color in RGB Space)
….or a few billion for one frame
….or difficult-to-express numbers for a 3-min short film.

I never got to build or try a ray-tracer…they took about an hour to render just one frame. Till recently a complete developer environment was required to render computer graphics —Visual Studio, a UNIX lab, Something big and expensive from Microsoft, SGI, Sun — all in my interest faded when I didn’t have access to the tools; I never really got the chance to explore it–I STILL have unsolved problems from back then. Only now can an affordable computer be had, open-source IDE’s set up, and LOGIC be used to make art: Fast and CHEAP.

The featured picture was created using the Processing java template library. If you have the JDK (see column two) you can build things like this yourself.

Here is the SRC (Source Code) It uses (to me) the complex compsci-concept of recursion; whereby by a function (in this case a procedure) calls itself. It will render a slightly different image every-time it runs and is easily customize-able; I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed designing the algorithm
/*Algorithm by cwelke for Self-Similarity Studios
Last stable build: using Processing API, JDK 1.8, win8.1 5/26/15
Dist under The GNU Public License - compliant with ANSI/ISO std.*/
void setup(){
size(1000, 700);
float dec = 0.6;
selfS(width*dec, height*dec, 400);
}//end setup
void selfS(float x, float y, float sz){
float angle, nx, ny;
//last int is transparency--rand switches tint
fill(lerpColor (#002900, #006600, random(1)), 300);
ellipse(x, y, sz, sz);
float rec = 0.6;
if(sz > 1){//recurse to base::do(while px_sz > 1)
angle = random(TWO_PI);
nx = x + sz*rec * sin(angle);
ny = y + sz*rec * cos(angle);
selfS(nx, ny, sz*rec);
angle = random(TWO_PI);
nx = x + sz*rec * sin(angle);
ny = y + sz*rec * cos(angle);
selfS(nx, ny, sz*rec);
angle = random(TWO_PI);
nx = x + sz*rec * sin(angle);
ny = y + sz*rec * cos(angle);
selfS(nx, ny, sz*rec);
}//end selfS

Here is the program run a second time:

only three parameter changes - colors & size
Run again with three parameter changes – colors & size

As long as we are at it check this out:

a recursive forest snap 1
Real…or Artificial?

Same logic – run a second time:

tree snap 2
Algorithmus Eleganten

The source:
/*orig. src by Zack Marlow-McCarthy*/
//modified, formatted, built, debugged and run by Tapper
//last stable build at SSStudios 5/27/15
//Processing API builds on JDK 1.8 running win8.1
//rights+compliance: ANSI/ISO std style, Creative Commons & The GNU Public License
float angleRandom1 = .8;
float angleRandom2 = 1/angleRandom1;
float lengthRandom1 = 1.01;
float lengthRandom2 = .08;
void setup(){
//blue mist mod 5/27
void draw(){
if(mousePressed == true){
branch(30,PI/2, 0,0);
void branch(float branchLength,float angle,float startX,float startY){
if(branchLength<1){//base case fill(#004A00); noStroke(); ellipse(startX,startY,5,10); stroke(0); }else{ float randomNess = random(0,100); strokeWeight(branchLength/2); float endX = cos(angle)*branchLength; float endY = sin(angle)*branchLength; line(startX,startY,startX+endX,startY+endY); startX += endX; startY += endY; if(randomNess>0 && randomNess<90){ branch(branchLength/(random(lengthRandom1,lengthRandom1+lengthRandom2)), angle*random(angleRandom1, angleRandom2), startX,startY); }else if(randomNess>=90 && randomNess<94){ branch(branchLength/(random(lengthRandom1,lengthRandom1+lengthRandom2)), angle*random(angleRandom1, angleRandom2),startX,startY); branch(branchLength/(random(lengthRandom1,lengthRandom1+lengthRandom2)), angle*random(angleRandom1, angleRandom2),startX,startY); }else if(randomNess>=94 && randomNess<98){
branch(branchLength/(random(lengthRandom1,lengthRandom1+lengthRandom2)), angle*random(angleRandom1, angleRandom2),startX,startY);
branch(branchLength/(random(lengthRandom1,lengthRandom1+lengthRandom2)), angle*random(angleRandom1, angleRandom2),startX,startY);
branch(branchLength/(random(lengthRandom1,lengthRandom1+lengthRandom2)), angle*random(angleRandom1, angleRandom2),startX,startY);
}//end else
}//end if
}//end recursion

*Proofs to come….[] -t

“They’re payin’ for it… YOU EAT IT!!!” Another war story from the front lines @DCI

a gif showing a famous scene from "Full Metal Jacket" Leonard eats his doughnut while the MC recruits shup.

Subtitle: The guy from 89 BD who f—— up the solo on Finals Night. An update.
“When are you gonna post the link about the 89-guy?” OK OK OK … on behalf of the publisher, the editor would like to apologize for the writer who keeps giving the readers what they want…Drum Corps News, Reviews and “Tales of Yore!
Let the West Coast Legacy live for all time…even it’s …….regretable moments. All I’m sayin’ is…I’M NOT THE ONE WHO INSISTS THAT WE WATCH the chum-fest during “If We Were In Love” which is my favorite ballad of all time, at EVERY FUCKING GET-TOGETHER, #amirite? heheh…  the fuckup is NOT posted on this site and you maniacs that don’t have the 1,000 DVD set or a mountain of old VHS tapes and/or bootlegs…use your noodle and search Youtube….the search terms should be obvious…find it there.
(Confession: the troll who tacked “keyboard-cat” on as a stinger – you are unoriginal and an asshole, but you made me laugh so +1 …dick).
Let me also credit the rest of the corps, Including John and Tim Meehan, Rich Skare and scores of others who were SPOT ON Saturday Night…just like every other night.
Click on the truncated pages to read them as PDFs, you may need to use the lil magnifying glass to make it readable.
My apologies, but Office 365 and WP don’t talk to each other all that well. I blame Microsoft.

"I chum them" Nerrr....
chummin it live in  89.pg2
What happens now that’s he’s prob. out? Well Halpern is on PAROLE – jail w/o the bars…one tiny f—up and it’s automatic 90 days in County Jail (SC County? hopefully he moved away…) It’s 45 days, Felons call it a “Flash.” It is compared to “Three-to-Five”
In short – as if he hadn’t fucked over the people and music that made up one of my all-time fav. shows and my all-time fav. ballad…he clipped $800 LARGE that a couple about to divorce entrusted him to keep safe while they hammered out the details of who got what.
Did Halpern keep that $800G’s safe? Nope…he spent it.
The Merc was kind enough to say he put $ “into his failing practice…” ask me and what I know? Most of that mtn. of cash went to a casino. And that’s that.

Fuck you Dan Halpern.
Fuck you for getting high b4 Finals.
Fuck you for chumming your big solo that Wayne, Jack and others trusted you to nail.
Fuck you for jamming their wisdom and guidance in their faces with weak-sauce and irresponsibility.
Fuck you for being the reason BDs “Through the yrs” recordings use 89 as the ONE YEAR they play Semis instead of Game Night cuz you are such an embarrassment.
And now…fuck you for jacking 800 boxes of ziti from a couple w/ a divorce in-process.

Mr Halpern, you’ve qualified for the official shit-list and it’s accompanied to-do list: ($1 to Greg Hughes and Jim Norton)

-STEP THREE: There is no step 3, rpt 1 until you get it then move on to step 2.

In fairness to BD; let us not act like the Red Team is w/o it’s regrettable alumni-list.
Semi’s night-ballad is posted below in all fairness to the staff and members who are NOT Daniel Halpern, Attorney-at-Law (ret.) Don’t count his bs alongside the eloquent beauty of arrangements by Wayne Downey and Tom Float, nor against striking performances by the Meehan Bros., and the Left-Coast Drum Corps Family as a whole…we have bad eggs, but our good eggs BURY the four I KNOW turned rotten. So Halpern is on blast….(Tapper muses to himself) Do I out the SCV alum who almost beat his wife to death or the kid-toucher? OR the alleged (*sigh*…also SCV alum) rapist? maybe after the holidays.
“IF WE WERE IN LOVE” FRIDAY, August…1989: enjoy and forget the bs… just crank it.