(not so) Pretty picture test ….

Now I have the capability to interface with a computer using a “pen.” I’ve always liked drawings/drawing …. the mouse can never express accurately what I’d like to draw and display on the Web. post-lengthy comparison research (+now field test) we at self-sim-studios settled on the iPad Pro. We signed up for the Adobe Creative Cloud trial and made a few scribbles. One major problem is that the device itself doesn’t “talk” to my site nearly as fast as my (aging – 2014 – HP 15 laptop) but…ok…we make the pretty pictures on the pad and mess with the WP front-end via Windows 10*
To me it makes a whole lot more object-oriented sense to draw on the screen directly. I like it so far…ill try to present a few samples, all drawn in a hurry..still in the “see if it works to adequate spec” portion. ONCE it works? The crazy, cool, hip, strange and most of all all all all ALL original artwork of Chris Welke and Bill Feynman will be available via the SoCal Pic…where we ostensibly report news; but mostly tinker with the site and share all that is cool (art, music, tech, code, ideas…) w/ you, dear reader. Ok so here’s a few sketches…

Three boxes, squiggles and different colors
Three boxes, squiggles and different colors
tapper's 1st rendition of cerebus for the web
Cerebus sleeping off a good one in the Lower City….Iest, Estarcion (tavern unknown)
$1 to Ursula Vernon, whom partially inspired this foray into thsi type of image design/presentation; thx!
$1 to Ursula Vernon, whom partially inspired this foray into thsi type of image design/presentation; thx!
another logo test
another logo test
magnets...lol
$1 to Vince Gilligan and Oliver Age 24…w/ apologies.

***update***after more self training, here are some hopefully better ones….

Portrait #1 Groucho w/ cigar
Portrait #1 Groucho w/ cigar
Cirinist soldier at work in the lower city.....
Cirinist soldier at work in the lower city…..

image

Portrait #2 F. Scott Fitzgerald
Portrait #2 F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

Portrait #3 Abe Lincoln
Portrait #3 Abe Lincoln

You should be able to see a marked increase in quality as I learn the UI and tools to …errrrrrmmm better express myself.
*Yes I finally gave in and allowed it to force me to upgrade – no disasters thus far yet. We also use iOS 9.3.1 (also recent). WP just upgraded too. (version “Lester Coleman” methinks?) oh ! and plz use chris.e.welke@gmail.com to get ahold of the publisher of this fine website….the webmail donated by my gracious sponsors is no longer fully-supported, so hit us on gmail if you need to…sorry it’s not quite as secure and nothing we can do about that. (Don’t use gmail to send anything you wouldn’t stand up on yout desk and say at full volume; just to be on the safe side)

Popular mobile devices for 2016 …. who cares? you do!

a pathetic band geek red char

source my site’s analytical javascript; courtesy of Advertising monolith GOOGLE.

Not shown – many of my readers opt out of being spied on constantly, the sample size is big enough for us however – we are looking at about 3,000 unique HUMAN visitors.

Number 10 … Motorola XT1080 Droid Ultra – I thought they made pagers, what are you doing on my site w/ your beeper?

Number 9Microsoft Windows RT Tablet – uh what the hell is that? The Surface maybe? I tried the keyboard on that pos once and that was it for me. To each his own [crappy mobile device!]

Number 8….The iPod – there you go! I have one too…save $ on the data by using wifi …I had my last one so long I wore it down to nothing and hucked it for $30, but all the time vested in “Clash of Clans” and “Smule Magic Piano” was all 4 naught till I replaced it. Thanks again, mom! (the data doesn’t reflect my own testing of the site using said iPod – about 25 of you have one…or your kids do, in which case you need to check the settings…my site is clearly labeled “mature” so junior can’t read about murder, government corruption, drugs from paprika to sodium pentethol and jokes that veer on the side of xenophobic, racially insensitive, chauvinistic and intentionally offensive more oft. Than not …nu?

Number 7 ….Samsung SM-N910V Galaxy Note 4 getting to the popular pocket-rockets here, which leads us to

Number 6 …. Samsung SM-G900V Galaxy S5 – ok so thats those of u who upgraded due to

  1. generous family holiday gift
  2.  you lost your s4
  3.  your s4 was stolen
  4.  you will die if you dont upgrade, so…you did…thats cool I aint no judge…only 1 of those! -or-
  5.  you used the s4 to “go upside the head” on a hopefully deserving recipient, or worse, you really lost it and just blasted it against the wall….since 20 percent of my beloved readers are females, we must not leave out
  6. DROPPED IN TOILET.

Number 5. The LG D850 G3  – a decent phone – Androids round out nearly half the top 10. make sure you invest at least $15 in a case this phone is beyond expensive..the LG4 will be off the chain expensive. Kinda big but it fits in most pockets.

Number 4. The LG-H810/H81010b G4 …ok so it is out …no big surprise there

Number 3. The bronze medal mobile device for fledgling 2016 is …the iPad – im not told if you use the 1 or the 2 – I figure that of the 1000 of you….800 have the 2

Number 2. your silver cell is the Google Nexus….north of 1500 of you bought one last year “just like yer told to…” and speaking of doing what your told, the winner of the 4-week-best-paper-weight to follow your hero Donald “Quacker” TRUMP is…[buzz-roll plz…..]

Number 1. you know what it is. Why waste precious prose. There is a 70 percent chance it is in your hand right now. Read the label; yeah…the newest one…you shameless bastard. It’s why you’re my reader and one of the reasons I love you so much – no shame -no regrets- fuck it. You have the most desirable mobile device in existence because you CAN. Bravo sir (or madam)

advert from Evil Corps follows–


Upgraded Web tools for your favorite blog ….

So this POS weblog began as a gift from a generous family member and was designed and built using an iPod Touch 4th gen. (A gift so wonderfully bestowed by my loving mother to while away the bedridden hours in and out of the hospital on youtube and FB ….youtube for fun and FB to reduce the phone calls and well-placed-well-intentioned-but-also-overwhelming amount of calls I needed to field as so many fans, friends, colleagues and loved ones (rightly so…) reached fits of panic all 22x I went under the knife to repair my thrashed body (which pretty much works now..heheh). It was easier to put an update on blast: “Back from OR…not dead…cranked full of demerol and ativan…feelin nice, surgery was a success, often accompanied by a photo of my leg or arm next to that day’s LA Times as proof of life. Better than fielding 50 phone calls, to which had it continued, my surgeon would’ve ripped the phone out of the wall as stress–> HBP—>panic—>return to ICU—> surgery failure or even cardiac arrest or seizure. If you think Dr. Wilkins would allow friends or even family to even move my stress level up one iota with his experimental right leg on the line …then you don’t know how hardcore Dr. Dub is about his patients and his creations.

So the iPod was great and kept me sane for a long time … it just was no good for Web Design, or Web Editing, which I do over on a great site called www.answers.com.

On this site I am pleased to have started as a Contributor, quickly promoted to Editor-at-Large and recently promoted again to Supervising Editor and am now the Resident Journalism Expert. A humble honor. I am far better at improving other people’s words than writing original ones of my own, so to my 1800 dear readers I thank you for hanging in there with me (see WIPs entry and feel free to rqst topics in the comments…I live to write for you, dear reader-no topic is off-limits and if there is something you wish to know more about, I’m happy to provide).

To provide better content for you and better service to Answers.com, I bought a Chromebook and it worked until the charger and relay took a shit, to which [again…] blogs and repair shops alike said “$100-$200 to solder the relay and btw, it will take four weeks to fix”

Smelled bullshit and it was…the one true thing is that the Samsung Chromebook is built with a flimsy and weak adapter that slides into an equally fragile and tiny relay in order to derive current and charge the battery much in the way an impotent asian man would try to fuck his virgin and equivalently asian bride on their wedding night…not exactly a strong connection. What? You got a non-racist metaphor have at it….THEY BUILT THAT POS!

Ok so I fixed it once, but when it happened again I decided the following things will no longer hold back this Web site, or my Web editing or my ability to get online and do my thing:

1. Macintosh and their faggy updating OBS hustle to force/con/scam/arm-twist customers into upgrades (needed or perceived-as)

2. “Netbooks” that only run http….such a waste and so much you can’t do (or can but it’s made complicated by needing every damn procedure or function to happen w/in a Web browser).

Today (unbelievably) thx to the most scandalous vendor location of the most scandalous vendor site known to the Web : Craigslist Orange County (Where 60 percent of goods are stolen, 70 percent are methamphetamine abusers and 10-30 percent are OCSD tracking stolen property, setting up stings and busting people who jack everything from tools to bikes to tablets to (use your imagination for other crimes infesting this little meth-head corner of Craigslist…) I DID FIND, a local who is about to upgrade his laptop, doesn’t need the one I’m now posting on, it is NOT STOLEN and he gave me a VERY FAIR price. It’s an Acer Aspire, plenty of Ghz and RAM and Gigs…Windows 7, and everything I need to keep bring you the bullshit you love.

This sweet laptop could be collecting dust in some guy’s garage…instead it is helping me bring you all the best in writing, stories, idiocy, social criticism, research, news…and [likely] for it’s first time…it now gets to say things like “cunt” “nigger” or “AIDS” in public.

God Bless The 1st Amendment and God Bless Free Market Capitalism. Fag.

Much love to my favorite reader-you, -Tap.