We here at the SoCal Pick talk lots of smack about local authorities…especially the OCSD & OCDA. With few exceptions; they really are racist, violent, sociopathic assholes that accomplish zilch. Unless you count eating doughnuts and trampling on the Bill of Rights “work.”
Not so for the Orange County Fire Authority. This writer volunteered at their beer booth across many years; to raise $ for worthwhile charities (and pound unlimited free beer), when I worked at the Starbucks off El Camino Real (back before “taxes on tips” and “cameras above every till”) we used to comp anyone in uniform… for cops, from SCPD (now defunct) to CHP, to Staties, to the BP (now called ICE) to the Secret Service. Why? –> Managers’ orders. Why was it a common practice? Free drinks for cops keeps them nearby. We simply were never paid enough to deal with the oxygen thieves that hung around all year… and the goddamn 909ers — out to flood our beaches with their nasty, deplorable bodies; faces, behavior… even their dope was awful which tore them back even further … in worst case; the 909 culture + a beach + booze + biker meth = more dangerous. -ahem….comp, yeah…same deal for first responders (EMTs) but especially and most often the OCFA. They’d come in groups of four to six, order Venti Fraps (Carmel & Mocha most often) even in 1999 four big ass Fraps went for a dub ($20), if you’re not familiar with comping; that means gratis — I don’t even look at the cash register; nor did I care if they walked out having paid zilch…what do I REALLY CARE? I made <$7/hr at that time; on a busy summer day; just my till alone had $4,000 in it — there were four tills. In real dollars a Venti Carmal Frap costs them…a fraction of a penny…-sigh- that was the good ol’ days when working the espresso bar was an ART – now espresso comes out of an idiot-proof box…and mgmt let us work the tips cuz they knew we busted our asses for nickels; needless to say, any firefighter in or out of uniform–> I didn’t ring them up. To say thanks, more than any other first respos… the firemen would cram twenties into the tip jar. I’ve a good friend who is a retired chief; there’s no one more fun, interesting and entertaining to have a beer with than Chief.
So when I heard on the street that someone took a dive off Oso, it was at first both shocking and suspect. A sadness loomed over this writer after the wtf-part subsided. Also; did this person die?* What if you did that and fucked it up? Be a quad? Now unable to finish the job? We hate to admit it, but we prayed he died quickly and painlessly. Further fact checking found that an OCFA captain scaled the mesh link over the 5 on Crown Valley Parkway (not Oso), early yesterday afternoon; then bailed into southbound traffic. We’ve opted not to release his name as we cannot confirm family notification at press time. Authorities said the veteran firefighter was plowed by a big rig, then further obliterated by at least two other vehicles. Again, we like to think the man died instantly and sans pain. We also send prayers to the OCFA, the family of the deceased and anyone effected by this strange and fascinating tragedy.
Kind of puts YOUR holiday whiny bullshit in perspective, nu? What’s wrong, too much work? Lost someone close –“not sure how to get through the holidays without [close relationship person X]? Don’t have the moola to make Xmas happen? Back hurts? Not getting enough sleep? Well boo fucking hoo. Your life, your world, our world, The United States of America, our NATO allies. We are going to be fine. There is no reason to ever throw away the most precious gift a most precious universe can give; conscious life. You have that. Don’t ever take this for granted. when shit gets bad, phone a friend, hit up your neighbor, go to Starbucks, go to a bar, get drunk, get high, take a trip, bail out of OC… do something, do nothing, do anything, hurt yourself if you want– just don’t KILL yourself. It’s a selfish act. This individual had a family; now they have to shoulder the burdens he left in a pile of guts all over the freeway – morbid I know but this is a wake up call to all you sad sacks and grumpy gus’ out there; enough with your problems! They aren’t a 10th as bad as YOU see them to be in YOUR HEAD…. if it comes to “I guess I’ll just check out for good,” then call a suicide hotline, dial at random, prank call a big-box store; where whomever takes the call is already at the end oif their rope….s#!t–call phone sex, call your mommy, really ….who gives a fuck? Well, I do, we do, you do. Readers can get at me anytime via social media or in the comments. I’ll get back to you. SSStudios, Tapper, Cdub and Bill Feynman are perennially available. Things aren’t as bad as they seem now, not for you, not for me [I admit it]. Take a deep breathe, relax those shoulders and say, “my life sucks d!*k but its MY life....2017 will be better and I can get through the holidays without giving my .45 a blow job.” 
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