Breaking; Orange County Fire Capt. Does ‘Gayner’ off Crown Valley into The 5 ….

We here at the SoCal Pick talk lots of smack about local authorities…especially the OCSD & OCDA. With few exceptions; they really are racist, violent, sociopathic assholes that accomplish zilch. Unless you count eating doughnuts and trampling on the Bill of Rights “work.”
Not so for the Orange County Fire Authority. This writer volunteered at their beer booth across many years; to raise $ for worthwhile charities (and pound unlimited free beer), when I worked at the Starbucks off El Camino Real (back before “taxes on tips” and “cameras above every till”) we used to comp anyone in uniform… for cops, from SCPD (now defunct) to CHP, to Staties, to the BP (now called ICE) to the Secret Service. Why? –> Managers’ orders. Why was it a common practice? Free drinks for cops keeps them nearby. We simply were never paid enough to deal with the oxygen thieves that hung around all year… and the goddamn 909ers — out to flood our beaches with their nasty, deplorable bodies; faces, behavior… even their dope was awful which tore them back even further … in worst case; the 909 culture + a beach + booze + biker meth = more dangerous. -ahem….comp, yeah…same deal for first responders (EMTs) but especially and most often the OCFA. They’d come in groups of four to six, order Venti Fraps (Carmel & Mocha most often) even in 1999 four big ass Fraps went for a dub ($20), if you’re not familiar with comping; that means gratis — I don’t even look at the cash register; nor did I care if they walked out having paid zilch…what do I REALLY CARE? I made <$7/hr at that time; on a busy summer day; just my till alone had $4,000 in it — there were four tills. In real dollars a Venti Carmal Frap costs them…a fraction of a penny…-sigh- that was the good ol’ days when working the espresso bar was an ART – now espresso comes out of an idiot-proof box…and mgmt let us work the tips cuz they knew we busted our asses for nickels; needless to say, any firefighter in or out of uniform–> I didn’t ring them up. To say thanks, more than any other first respos the firemen would cram twenties into the tip jar. I’ve a good friend who is a retired chief; there’s no one more fun, interesting and entertaining to have a beer with than Chief.
So when I heard on the street that someone took a dive off Oso, it was at first both shocking and suspect. A sadness loomed over this writer after the wtf-part subsided. Also; did this person die?* What if you did that and fucked it up? Be a quad? Now unable to finish the job? We hate to admit it, but we prayed he died quickly and painlessly. Further fact checking found that an OCFA captain scaled the mesh link over the 5 on Crown Valley Parkway (not Oso), early yesterday afternoon; then bailed into southbound traffic. We’ve opted not to release his name as we cannot confirm family notification at press time. Authorities said the veteran firefighter was plowed by a big rig, then further obliterated by at least two other vehicles. Again, we like to think the man died instantly and sans pain. We also send prayers to the OCFA, the family of the deceased and anyone effected by this strange and fascinating tragedy.
Kind of puts YOUR holiday whiny bullshit in perspective, nu? What’s wrong, too much work? Lost someone close –“not sure how to get through the holidays without [close relationship person X]? Don’t have the moola to make Xmas happen? Back hurts? Not getting enough sleep? Well boo fucking hoo. Your life, your world, our world, The United States of America, our NATO allies. We are going to be fine. There is no reason to ever throw away the most precious gift a most precious universe can give; conscious life. You have that. Don’t ever take this for granted. when shit gets bad, phone a friend, hit up your neighbor, go to Starbucks, go to a bar, get drunk, get high, take a trip, bail out of OC… do something, do nothing, do anything, hurt yourself if you want– just don’t KILL yourself. It’s a selfish act. This individual had a family; now they have to shoulder the burdens he left in a pile of guts all over the freeway – morbid I know but this is a wake up call to all you sad sacks and grumpy gus’ out there; enough with your problems! They aren’t a 10th as bad as YOU see them to be in YOUR HEAD…. if it comes to “I guess I’ll just check out for good,” then call a suicide hotline, dial at random, prank call a big-box store; where whomever takes the call is already at the end oif their rope….s#!t–call phone sex, call your mommy, really ….who gives a fuck? Well, I do, we do, you do. Readers can get at me anytime via social media or in the comments. I’ll get back to you. SSStudios, Tapper, Cdub and Bill Feynman are perennially available. Things aren’t as bad as they seem now, not for you, not for me [I admit it]. Take a deep breathe, relax those shoulders and say, “my life sucks d!*k but its MY life....2017 will be better and I can get through the holidays without giving my .45 a blow job.” []

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*Note–under the circumstances; by all accounts the instigator of this mess died instantaneously when struck by the tractor trailer and in all probability — felt nothing, he left that for you and I to mull over

New content coming soon…. btw wtf is WP v4.1? ….

Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold tests his xmas lights handiwork

Heh… ain’t I just an SEO whorin’ out little bitch? —inserting a question I KNOW lots will plug into GS just to get you to come here….I really am a hypocritical douchey lonely loser zilch.
Uh….anywayz….I added that calendar widget to the right-column and noted I’d not updated in a week.
Well. Shit. So here’s a post. People ask me how I feel this time of year. I think the collective creativity of Terry Zwigoff, The Coen Bros., Billy Bob Thorthon and Frederick “Fucking” Chopin sum it up pretty nicely:

Get your shopping done? Got any $ left? Did you donate or hook up any homeless people?
whatever…should I even pretend to care when my real readers know that I’m moody this time of yr and don’t give a Fizzuck. They also know how I got mad love for ’em. Yeah…I’m talkin to you; in Los Angeles, The Central Coast, SD, SF, SJ, Santa Clara, Campbell, Stockton, Sac-town….Chi(“Shy”)-town….Austin, Rockford, Worcester, Milwaukee, Detroit, Tampa Bay, the East Coast of FL. Louisiana, Mizzuo, OK, Penn. Upstate New York especially Syracuse.
Mad love for Laguna Beach and Seattle. Dana Point, SJC and San Clemente. South County Style.

To my bad-ass readers all up in New Jersey, Maryland, Ohio, Indiana and Virginia.. My readers in Washington DC, Japan, Spain, Portugal, The United Kingdom, Canada, Mexico, Colombia, The Former USSR including the Ukraine….where I’ve never mentioned but….that’s where I’m FROM. readers there: we are kin. blood. Someday…we celebrate Chanukkah together. In your honor I’ve included some idiotic map gifs…do NOT THINK THAT I FACT-CHECKED data contained therein….I was just browsing for fun-stuff on 4chan. NO NOT THAT! OK…but it wasn’t on THAT PARTICULAR occasion, k? Sheesh….

a map of north america and walmart locations

Love for the randoms from Brazil who keep comin’ back. I don’t speak Portugese or know sh– about your country/culture, but I appreciate it when you visit…Brazil: “huge shout out to Brazil….huge shout out.”
The Cal Poly San Luis Obispo material is ON HOLD pending publication of The California Register, there are recent developments in the ice-cold Kristin Smart case. Go theere for details. Once that edition drops I will release hordes of info, anecdotes, stories and shit-talking on my good ol’ alma mater.

    Expect lots of tech-notes as I dive head-1st into:

  1. JavaFX
  2. Windows 8.1 hacks, tips, tricks, cheats, shortcuts, mudkipz, you know the drill
  3. WordPress v4.1 – migration, CSS, PHP, blah blah….
  4. How to – Optimize your Web site for mobile devices
  5. The usual security loopholes; how to sew ’em up and which holes not to step in
  6. Scams: who what where why how—-as always, served fresh
  7. Seven. Cuz This is  Tapper7.com. it’s 7x the TAP Muthaf—!

The more I learn, the more you will. I’ve got so much unpublished content I don’t even know wtf to do with it.
As always…My creative and technical services are available at a discount for readers of this Web page. Oh, I never said that? Well they are. Hiring managers: I’m avail @ $0/hr for 1st 90 days, risk free PLUS $2500 tax credit from The State. Inquire w/in for details.
On That Note: this is an excellent opportunity for me to to shove an advertisement all up in your face.
After all…what would Xmas be w/o advertising….specifically sponsored Sponsored Links? If you enjoy me, or this Web site, or any of the content I manage to assemble. Then… for the holidays, I would say if the ad below legitimately peaks your interest, that you visit their site. You’d be doing me and my sponsors a massive favor:


Will post again soon. till then…let’s get the fade on get DOWN yo! Happy Holidays EVERYONE. &heart -Tapper
a gif of moe from the simpsons
I Bend Them....Bender gif
a map of north america
Sponsor:

Special thanks for supporting Tapper7.com to the advertiser found above ^^^^ ****Update:(If it works…I rewrote the Javascript again (FEB 2015)) …even though I’m not supposed to f— with their code…whatever..like I care right?

Open during construction….

a memeorial poster showing Japanese Zeroes dropping bombs on PH.

Some slides, just cuz…

  • \
  • With Pooh Bear. RIP Big Bro....
  • 1997 Santa Clara Big Bores with Dean Westman and Jeb.
  • 96 VK Big Bores. RIP Ray Arias.
  • 1994 CVHS Leads
  • With Alisha....04 Banquet
  • Me n Michelle, in MS
  • Tapper n Joey B!
  • Me n Bill Watrous
  • Me n Beetlejuice
You could say this writer’s been pretty busy….you could say this writer sits on his ass all day. Whatever the case may be, the priority has been write a decent editorial for The California Register and setup/configure the hardware and software this li’l creative project known as Tapper7.com is going to need moving into the future.
I recorded episode zero of Season 1 of the Tapper7 Podcast. It’s not suitable for primetime or late-night, but I thought it was fun to make and once I figure out the specifics of creating a [1400px X 1400px] graphic and configuring the RSS feed I’m just gonna drop the m-fer.
So….if you are one of my valued readers in San Luis Obispo County….check your mailbox. You might see an editorial written by some idiot named “Chris Welke.” **UPDATE** Breaking news in the Kristen Smart Case has forced the editorial staff to place the holiday edition ON-HOLD ’till January.
“Expect us.” In your mailbox next year. We are NOT anonymous.
I had to scrap the PHP for this site and we’re…sort of starting from scratch. we ARE doing a full-on redesign.
For now it’s simply choosing a theme — I made a few customization’s, the site WORKS. you can read/access the information presented here…especially if you are a new visitor and end up here as a result of my upcoming piece in The Register and want to know a li’l more about the subversive, OCD, schizoid pseudo-intellectual known as Chris Welke.
Please make use of the comment section on any article if you want to throw me under the bus, compliment me or threaten to kill me…..I love comments. I publish them unedited.
Not counting spam, which has not gotten past our security ONCE since September. It makes creating content a trillion times easier but also throws off-would-be commenters. You can always hit me up direct w/o all the CAPTCHAS and math problems by sending an EMAIL (I know…) to:

chris@tapper7.com. If you would like your note to appear as a comment, you MUST wade through my system … as SNL called it back-in-the-day, this is a “ruining it for everybody” situation and I apologize on behalf of India and Red-state spam-bot builders who r—- the comment section on this site.
Follow the links regarding My Dearly Departed Better Half if you are interested in contributing to my/her work….after all…Dominique deserves all the credit. I learned to report at Poly…Dominique taught me how to WRITE. This time of year
….I really really really REALLY MISS HER BAD.
If you want to support this Web site…scope out the sponsors you see peppered around here. It’s easy to do, you don’t have to buy anything from them….just…check ’em out, you might even find a great holiday gift. Afterall, the algorithm matched ME and MY CONTENT with YOU and your known preferences. Google knows more about you than YOU do…so why not let them help you shop. Think the algorithm knows it’s neary Xmas and that you still have gifts to buy? Is that the dumbest f—ing question ever?
Forgive the awful aesthetics seen here while I put the finishing touches on more pressing WIPs.
Lots of music reviews, movie madness, tech reviews, cringe humor and the prose you hate to love is coming back on a regular basis with a vengeance so don’t trip-out on that dear reader.
“We” (I keep acting like there’s a team behind this juvenile artistic endeavor) will also be presenting a year-end tech review…we’ll pay tribute to all the devices that were damaged, lost, destroyed or taken prisoner (clipped) in the line of duty to bring Tapper-creative content straight to your dome all year long.

…a personal thanks to the people BESIDES ME who really DO help make it happen and the bloggers who qualified for my upcoming SHORTLIST: Tapper7.com’s “Blogs that don’t suck 2014.”

I’ve reviewed almost 4500 blogs this year for comparison, education and because I get REALLY BORED and LONELY sometimes….regardless, I’ve located about five…..FIVE!!! Count ’em FIVE blogs that are informative, creative, original, have a nice design, are NOT a scam and NOT completely full of shit.
We will honor and highlight those blogs because, well this is MY blog and I’m the shot-caller HERE if nowhere else….I also want to spread “the good-good” since all year I mostly just put “the all-bad” on f—ing BLAST.”
We MAY also put businesses, Web sites, people and places on BLAST for f-ing me, someone else or society over…just to stir up some s—.
….haven’t decided what to call THAT list yet.**UPDATE – Negative articles ON HOLD till holidays close, be ready though, this list would make my ol’ neighbor Dick Nixon VERY PROUD.” (Except for the not-keeping-it-a-secret-part). F— it.
No matter…thx for YOUR patronage most of all. If you enjoyed this site in 2014 – 2015’s going to keep you informed, entertained and maybe even laughing, SLIGHTLY MORE THAN 2014 DID!

There WILL be lots of music and movie-related comment and commentary.
The Podcast WILL launch or I’ll die trying.
Drum Corps will be visited and revisited and beat to death as usual.
If law enforcement fucks with me, you or anyone else, I WILL REPORT IT. Just like 2014…OCSD ON BLAST! (Nice time to shoot a black guy at HOLLYWOOD AND HIGHLAND BTW ….fucking LAPD man…..)…let’s get all mixed-up in the NY/Boston/Chicago/St.Louis race-baiting-racist-above-the-law-COP-fucking BULLSHIT cuz in LA….things go GREAT when the black population [overtly shit on constantly] loses their collective tempers, doesn’t it? hmmmm?
Rodney King, Watts, … Reginald Denny’s brick-to-the-kisser at Florence & Normandy? Yeah…let’s DO THAT AGAIN.<–sarcasm
OCSD, LAPD, SLOPD, OCDA, SLODA….you suck. [MOST OF YOU]: You’re awful. Incompetent, Incapable, Corrupt, Racist, Trigger-Happy, sneaky, full of shit and I sincerely hope you get AIDs in 2015 if you haven’t been diagnosed yet.
Oh yeah…that’s what I wanted to say…especially with the ultimate demise of The OnA Show and the fervor with which all humorists miss one of our own…one of our best. He’s black too. <= and would’ve loved that joke.
Patrice O’Neal…RIP Big Dawg. In HIS HONOR-THERE WILL BE AIDS JOKES.
And to the Japanese high command that bombed the hell out of Pearl Harbor 73 years ago…how’d that work out for ya? Get a nice face-full of Oak Ridge Laboratories and The United States Marine Corps? Ya DID didn’t ya?

Semper Fi.