So MSFT…in a last gasp effort to get you to use their software; is offering a newer; slightly more useful version of DropBox. You not only get some free cloud space; but instead of loading you up with a 90-day bloatware trial of Office 365 [as they did last time], they give you trial access to OneDrive.com (sorry no backlink –btw caution; the parody mktg doc im going to try and post HAS active links, one will take right back to the homepage at Tapper7.com; but the rest will take you to #NSFW in any way shape or form sites….just dont click them (crud now I KNOW you will…) anyway lets try n post this….it should be obvious what was weitten by Microsoft Marketing and what was edited by this writer ….Test – see if link to awful parody works ….Getting started with OneDrive parody by Tapper v0
Support our sponsor below – help keep The Pick running like a well-oiled ..err… ok I really mailed this one in – better content and a new podcast coming soon – we have new equipment here at SStudios. Woot!
Update – WP doesnt want to post their PDF either – so here is the text in raw cut & paste form – remember I changed the link-rels; (if they work which I doubt…) dont click if at work or want to retain marriage! xD
What is OneDrive?
OneDrive is another shit product from Microsoft. And it’s free[mium] this means it has in-app purchases so we can try to trick you out of your $ or try to convince you to buy crap you don’t need. You get 15 GB of free storage with your Microsoft account, so you can store all types of pr0n in one place and get to them from any Starbucks
Friends & family can easily hack into your OneDrive files, including photos, login credentials, dating Websites and your bank account – even your “secret” pr0n videos, And OneDrive works with Windows and Office (in case you didn’t know that your OS is compatible with our nearly value-less desktop publishing programs such as “Word” “Excel” “Access” and PowerPoint – you may still use these programs if you fell through a wormhole and landed in 1998, so it’s simple to work with OneDrive files on your computer and collaborate with other people on documents. You can do this for free using Google Docs; or if you need to collaborate at the “above two guys running a weed clinic” -level; we have SharePoint; Sun, oops, we mean Oracle also has a far better product for this; but it does MRP/ERP and other useful shit rendering “Office” utterly useless; they call it Salesforce.com. On a budget? Open-source pioneers Apache offer a suite of tools for publishing; drawing; collaboration; dB, spreadsheets and all sorts of other useful functions; it’s called OpenOffice.
The clock is really ticking on our ability to make $ on Office so buy now….please!
Add files from your computer
To add files to OneDrive, just drag them into your computer’s OneDrive folder using File Explorer or Finder. The files will automatically sync across all of your devices that have OneDrive installed (so not your iPhone, your Mac desktop or your Android device (sorry!). So you can drag a photo from your laptop to your
OneDrive—and later open it in OneDrive on your phone. By that we mean the Windows Phone you don’t own.
Add files from your phone or tablet
To add photos and videos on your phone or tablet to OneDrive, use the OneDrive app. Even better—you can also choose to turn on camera backup to automatically save the photos and videos you take to OneDrive. So even if you lose your phone or tablet, you won’t lose your memories!
Add files using the OneDrive website
You can also add files from any computer, tablet, or phone by using the OneDrive website. Just go to OneDrive.com, sign in, and then tap or click Upload.
You can share individual files and even entire folders without attaching anything. Send an email with a link to what you’d like to share (in case you didn’t know you could already do this using any email client made in the last 25 years)—and rest assured that everything else in your OneDrive will stay private (except for all the people who already fished, socially engineered, brute-forced or simply requested your login credentials). To share items from the OneDrive website, just select the check box in the upper-right corner of the item and choose Share.
See, in software engineering; the requirements were to “add a method to share objects with other users” Sharing takes one step IRL; I hand you my smoke – done. But since this is Microsoft; where we begin sentemnces with words like “but,” “and” ….we build outdated software one wants or needs; our OS will crash if you forget to reboot; perhaps our most famously idiotic OS UI/UX design flaw goes all the way back to our first GUI; Windows 3.0 (which Xerox’s Parc Research Facility allowed us AND a marketing firm called Blueberry [or something] to build a OS’s that would put a PC in every home in America, later the Western World; now nearly the Globe) so it wasn’t us that invented it; but we know when to repurpose software & weasel out of paying! Anyway; as we started to create Windows; the topic of “shutting down” the computer came up….a senior engineer who hated C & C++ (said we should built it in Ada…anyway) he said “we already made “start” button; let’s just put it there.” A pesky C++ programmer piped up and said “…but stop is the opposite of start, therefore one can’t be designed as a subset of the other.” He was promptly fired. We hired another C/C++ guy who nodded and agreed with the sr. Engineer in all the right places; so we released his family from captivity and had the FBI drop the treason charge against him.
Collaborate with Office
OneDrive works with Office, so it’s easy to collaborate [its also easy to repeat yourself 3 times in 2 sentences!). Instead of sending around different copies of documents, you can give other people permission
to edit the document directly (just like any other CMS on the market!). You can even collaborate with people who don’t have Office installed on their computers—they can open and edit documents in OneDrive using Office Online. Of course; we aren’t responsible for other OS’s so the preceding statement is not only untested –if it fails its YOUR FUCKIN PROBLEM JACK!
Get OneDrive on your devices
Use OneDrive on your computer, tablet, and phone to get to your stuff from anywhere. You can download OneDrive apps at OneDrive.com/download.
Where can I learn more? For more info, check out OneDrive.com/about or go to OneDrive.com/support.
Whats the best way to kill myself?
Auto-erotic asphyxiation is in style for winter 2017!
Not shown – many of my readers opt out of being spied on constantly, the sample size is big enough for us however – we are looking at about 3,000 unique HUMAN visitors.
Number 10 … Motorola XT1080 Droid Ultra – I thought they made pagers, what are you doing on my site w/ your beeper?
Number 9 … Microsoft Windows RT Tablet – uh what the hell is that? The Surface maybe? I tried the keyboard on that pos once and that was it for me. To each his own [crappy mobile device!]
Number 8….The iPod – there you go! I have one too…save $ on the data by using wifi …I had my last one so long I wore it down to nothing and hucked it for $30, but all the time vested in “Clash of Clans” and “Smule Magic Piano” was all 4 naught till I replaced it. Thanks again, mom! (the data doesn’t reflect my own testing of the site using said iPod – about 25 of you have one…or your kids do, in which case you need to check the settings…my site is clearly labeled “mature” so junior can’t read about murder, government corruption, drugs from paprika to sodium pentethol and jokes that veer on the side of xenophobic, racially insensitive, chauvinistic and intentionally offensive more oft. Than not …nu?
Number 7 ….Samsung SM-N910V Galaxy Note 4 getting to the popular pocket-rockets here, which leads us to
Number 6 …. Samsung SM-G900V Galaxy S5 – ok so thats those of u who upgraded due to
- generous family holiday gift
- you lost your s4
- your s4 was stolen
- you will die if you dont upgrade, so…you did…thats cool I aint no judge…only 1 of those! -or-
- you used the s4 to “go upside the head” on a hopefully deserving recipient, or worse, you really lost it and just blasted it against the wall….since 20 percent of my beloved readers are females, we must not leave out
- DROPPED IN TOILET.
Number 5. The LG D850 G3 – a decent phone – Androids round out nearly half the top 10. make sure you invest at least $15 in a case this phone is beyond expensive..the LG4 will be off the chain expensive. Kinda big but it fits in most pockets.
Number 4. The LG-H810/H81010b G4 …ok so it is out …no big surprise there
Number 3. The bronze medal mobile device for fledgling 2016 is …the iPad – im not told if you use the 1 or the 2 – I figure that of the 1000 of you….800 have the 2
Number 2. your silver cell is the Google Nexus….north of 1500 of you bought one last year “just like yer told to…” and speaking of doing what your told, the winner of the 4-week-best-paper-weight to follow your hero Donald “Quacker” TRUMP is…[buzz-roll plz…..]
Number 1. you know what it is. Why waste precious prose. There is a 70 percent chance it is in your hand right now. Read the label; yeah…the newest one…you shameless bastard. It’s why you’re my reader and one of the reasons I love you so much – no shame -no regrets- fuck it. You have the most desirable mobile device in existence because you CAN. Bravo sir (or madam)
advert from Evil Corps follows–
FROM THE PUBLISHER’S DESK — FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Anonymous Reader, thank you for the bug report. It seems my
.post style (the WordPress “text/css”) style— or the PHP… has an issue drawing content frames as of 10/18/15--column 1 is truncating on side two. If you are not one of my fellow code-geeks; plz ignore the geek-speak and just take note of the following:
DUE TO THIS BUG WE WILL BE FISHING AROUND FOR THE
OFFENDING LINE OF CODE THAT IS CAUSING COLUMN ONE
TO TRUNCATE PROSE AND CONTENT ON THE LEFT-HAND SIDE. APOLOGIES!
style.css & functions.php (& etc.php …er…etc…uh … are going to have the hood removed again; but I assure you the site is as secure, functional and jam-packed with original content as it ever was.
The Art Producer/Director of Self-Similarity Studios, Chris “Tapper” Welke; wants you to know that
“….the car still runs but the she may look like s#it while we are
Lonely Faction Production and SSStudios retain a policy, if you were not aware-
(From our SOP’s ref# ch.2_sub_sxn_5_article19_volume_7)–
Tapper7.com aka The SoCal Picayune remains open during construction. No exceptions.
typesetting, fonts, pictures, background colors, colors in general, text-boxes, titles, widths & heights…they are all subject to change and may in some cases. look “bad.” or “weird.”
if I learn anything new while I publicly make changes (no worries about the content itself– the site is backed-up frequently) I will report any tips, tricks, how-to’s & hacks ‘should any present themselves,’ we find a gem or just find dumb luck
- Bottom line
Tapper7.com and all associated sub-categories of this site are subject to looking weird, then bad, then worse, then bad again, then ok, then sorta “meh,” then “; ok that looks original and is readable regardless of the reader’s manufacturer(HP, IBM, Apple….), device type (desktop, laptop, tablet, phone, ipod) OS (MAC OohSX.?, Windows, Chrome, Unix, Linux) or browser(Chrome, Safari, Firefox, Opera….)
Please excuse our “dust” — by dust I mean – a live site that isn’t as aesthetically pleasing as you….treasured reader, are used to it being.
along those lines; it is important to keep all my content up 24/7/365(6) (shutout to host sponsor: (mt)) because we get waves of readers here at the home office. For some reason; a few thousand extra of you guys stopped by yesterday, what were you all reading? perhaps one of my diatribes made it to fb, digg, pinterest or some other sm nonsense page. my analytics will get to the bottom of this (shoutout to analytic & ad-serving, legitimacy-proiding sponsor Google)
In honor of the ‘praised advertising behemoth;’ (yeah right…this just a test–period). here is one of their approved ads – it may or may not display correctly or at all, who knows….we’re under-construction, man! *ahem* “test footer-style, multi-media-enabled-modile-friendly ad in the frame provided; thk you that is all” – t
****Tapper’s Sunday Morning Digest****
One of the most elegant, moving cover-songs/videos ever made is no longer publicly available.
David Bowie licensed the song to Canadian Astronaut Chris Hadfield to create a music video while aboard the International Space Station.
Hadfield recorded the audio down here on earth before he was rocketed into space, where he spent most of his time….monitoring systems. ….he knew there’d be a lot of downtime.
Scientists/Astronauts are afforded a unique opportunity on the ISS, but also conduct long-range studies in zero-gravity. Frequently there are precious few people aboard the ISS and all of them are deeply enmeshed in mission critical systems, maintenance and research. It is said to be a “beautiful prison.” “desperately lonely.” …it’s also time for valueble research and a lot of thinking. Where else can you get a look at “the big picture” than from space? It’s a perspective we can understand, but never comprehend.
Hatfield turned downtime into value using cutting edge visualization of zero-gravity, time-lapse photography of orbits around the earth at nightfall and expert music performance/recording a cover of “Space Oddity” on acoustic guitar with small sound-bed’s from Bowies’ original track (like the count down 10….9…..8…..7….6…….) with a lilting, mournful piano and a balanced drum-kit....it is heartbreakingly beautiful.
The resulting combination of technical imaging and artistic expression was posted to YouTube. Views grew geometrically-with web-users sharing the video across Facebook, twitter, Google, and other platforms.
…taken down just recently, it had over 22 million views.
Not exactly “Gangnam Style” but a remarkable success in North America for reminding us of the nostalgia of our shared past, and technical-audio-visual capabilities of our present. Hadfield’s expertise in engineering and music breathed life and energy into space exploration in a creative way.
This clip has the audio, and carefully altered video to keep it from the notice of Youtube….the author interlaced most of the video with b-roll from “Gravity”***(see my footer on security, fair use and legal protection you’re covered by IF you access relevant audio/visual HERE. I do NOT recommend searching for a pirated copy it may contain malware, or you could be flagged by your ISP, clients could put their server at risk. This site is the only safe place to hear the audio and view clips of the video please give it a listen before it gets pulled… Hadfied’s cover is gorgeous but the visual-component has only about 5% of the of the actual video, Bowie’s count-down intro is removed and replaced. It has 4000 views, but these and others like it will trend and get blocked soon so please enjoy, especially if you’ve never heard it….this may be your last chance— as for the complete, historic, viral inspirational video? we may never see it again. WATCH/LISTEN BEFORE THIS VIDEO IS PULLED. CHRIS HADFIELD IS NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO PERFORM THIS SONG UNLESS BOWIE MODIFIES THE LICENSE HE GAVE TO HADFIELD. THIS COULD BE YOUR LAST CHANCE TO EVER HEAR IT OR SEE VIDEO LOOSELY RELEVANT TO HIS PROJECT.
In Bowie’s original song, The beauty, isolation and concern for the safety of “Major Tom” by “Ground Control” highlighted the societal fascination and fear with space travel, the inherent beauty of NASA , and The Apollo Missions– it’s subsequent technology and massive contributions to education, machines and electronic of every kind. The microprocessor, digital technology, major progress in materials engineering and household products of all kinds
….by-products of technologies The Apollo Program required to put Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin on the Moon.
By 2011, The Obama Administration retired the space exploration program indefinitely…with “hopes to restart it” at an unknown later time.
Even Nasa’s Blog expressed the sadness felt by a generation of scientists, inspired by the space program and given the case to sustain it forever by Carl Sagan.
This writer cried when that shuttle came down. Americans cannot get into space without “3rd-partyshuttle services” provided by constituent governments involved with the ISS. I thought about Carl’s hopes and dreams about our future. Carl is kind of spiritual father to me….he died in 1996. In 2011 I thought “Carl would be deeply saddened. Profoundly…” I knew the moment the last shuttle landed it would break his heart. It subsequently broke mine.
As of September 28th, 2014… Americans must “hitch a ride” from other nations in order to access space. There is still no discussion in the legislature or executive to even consider bringing it back.
Hadfield is Canadian, but was no less effected by the dawn of the 70s Space Age...when kids thought “science was cool” and if you asked any child of the 70s what he wanted to be he grew up, “I wanna be an Astronauts, just Like Neil Armstrong [or Buzz Aldrin]”
It was the first thing since that tragic day in mid-2011 to give me hope for the future of space exploration. We humans seek the unknown by nature, we learn…there is nothing left to see on the earth or the moon and robotic craft like Voyager I and II mapped most of the solar system…..but as of today there is still no official program to send humans to Mars, though it has been proven there could be an American station base ON Mars BY 2020 if the gov’t would fund it.
The administration said a shuttle progran is “too expensive” and “wasteful in a depressed economy” When in fact; sending 5-10 Americans to Mars to establish a functioning colony would show massive ROI across the American landscape. PBS artist Melody Sheep uses auto-tune to mix catchy beats with scientific/cultural media. His “case for Mars” sums it up better than my prose:
Bowie licensed “Space Oddity” to Hadfield for 1 year with options to renew. The reasons are unknown why Bowie cancelled the renewal. Perhaps it will appear as an iTunes/amazon download……perhaps he isn’t making the money he feels is deserved for his contribution to this viral project….and his timeless track that inspired it’s initiation.
As a human being though, he is harming the inspirational nature of Hadfield’s project, it’s ability and contribution to moving society away from war, terror and fear and back into innovation, creativity, exploration and peaceful solutions.
When Obama cited financial concerns” regarding space explorations, saying the “program is to be placed on hold indefinitely,” Noted Theoretical Physicist Neil Degrasse Tyson said on “Real-Time with Bill-Maher” avail: HBO/HBO-GO that “The defense department has spent $14-trillion since the Afghanistan-campaign began,” $14-trillion, if stacked in $100 bills beginning on the floor would reach from here to VENUS”” (!!!) The cost to maintain a small fleet of space shuttles, an adequate secure-base, ground control, systems maintenance and process validation, fuel etc….it could all be maintained at Vandenberg Air Force Base or Edwards Air Force Base in California…..or The Kennedy Space Center in Florida, or other staging/deployment zones w/in the US for less than 1 percent of what we spend to kill “brown people”
Afghanistan is where Lithium is mined. Lithium is needed in batteries, computers, medicine and all sorts of electronic and mechanical infrastructure. It’s a vital resource. I must also note that 90 percent of the opium is grown and harvested in and around Afghanistan. KBR has been wanting to build an oil pipeline running directly through Afghanistan—>That’s probably unrelated….KBR’s subsidiary Halliburton wouldn’t drain $1 trillion a year from taxpayers just to build a pipeline, would they? hmmmmmm…. Afghanistan has important, valuable natural resources….it would make far more sense to spend all those trillions on R&D – which would include a sustainable colony on Mars as opposed to military and military contractor work. After all…once those resources we need so bad are stripped clean, what would we do then? There are other sources of energy than Litium and oil, Likewise we have synthetic painkillers ever stronger that opiate derivatives. Getting back to research and creativity isn’t just the right thing to do, it a better business strategy.
***Thx for reading….there are important things happening right now, you wont find information or perspective like this anywhere else.
***Legal note: the YouTube author of the altered video has done so at his/her OWN RISK. I posted the audio/video that is as close as I could find that gives viewers who never saw it an indication of what it was like. This MAY constitute copyright infringement on behalf of that YouTube channel. However, it’s posted here within an ethical framework of providing relevant information pursuant to an ongoing news story and is covered under fair use. Readers can view/listen on my page in a secure way that protects you legally and from malicious intent.
My ability to inform and entertain is made possible by generous corporate sponsors Media Temple, Google.com, friends, family, fans and readers like you.
Enjoy your Sunday! If you’ve taken and intertest in the first three installments of “The Cal Poly San Luis Obipo News Archive” I’ll be connecting with more sources and source material you won’t find in traditional media. My intent is to document the hard news stories that have been buried. Bring the stories back to life, show responsibility and respect for the families of the victims and remind the university that they may operate above the law inside their isolated system, they may also manipulate local law enforcement…but they do not operate above ME. UC Berkeley is in deep trouble for the same thing. Again, I’m not investigating my alma mater to grow this site. It’s the RIGHT THING TO DO and the surge in traffic is a by-product of that. -Tapper7.com – unfiltered truth since January 2014.
What makes this Web page legitimate? Should you trust what you read on this site?
NO!!!! Don’t trust any blog site. In general there are common themes in blogs that are yellow-flags(read but don’t trust), red-flags(main page offers the best product/service EVER at a LOW LOW price, and …blackhat blogs that will attempt to use scripting to take over your computer entirely. If it is a business website they will attempt to strip SSN, Bank routing numbers, credit card numbers, PINS and bleed you dry. There are poorly made attempts at this in the eastern world. There are people who can hack into your BANK (your bank is more more secure than any government agency)…they can still get in.
Don’t even bother…I have everything you need to know if you are seeking approval from Google Adsense, WHY I applied and a primer on responsible ad placement and usage from a professional journalists standpoint who is also brand new to “professional blogging” as opposed to my previous iterations of blogspot.com personal journals I that are still I keep only as archive material to be picked clean for your information and amusement at which time I will index them from the web myself.
There is a metric that gives you a little insight into legitimacy.
****Tapper7.com rates slightly above average with search engines…it’s how most of you found the site. (thank you for going to page 3, 4 ,5 to find me unless you were looking for “Tapper” or “Tapper7” in which case it will be easier to bookmark it in some way, just take a sharpie and draw it on the drywall.
It has been tested for quality of design and multi-platform functionality by the me obsessively and by several 3rd parties at the client, server and at the reader (user) level. I’m uclear on how to properly state that I’m approved by the Google Adsense program and what it means about me, the site and you. I will try though. I could locate only a handful of requirements offered upon application from the company – and all 3rd party info is shameful attempts to bypass and ruin a system that is certain to become even more exclusive than it was….I should have waited …but im glad I did not, it could easily go on 100% lockdown at anytime now.
If yours is legit—submit it now.
Most blogs are not accepted into this program. They are dedicated to illegal downloads, pirating, compromising online security…..etc. The name and descriptors/categories and other tags do not match the content. Many sites function only as spam-bots. They index every site possible to back link to themselves, appear to have tons of traffic increase their search engine rank and try to scam advertisers or sell a worthless site whose real value is 0 or less than 0. This led to the recent “has verified owner actively posted content for over 6 months?”-TEST.
Malicious sites from China and India are flagged for this, but the rule applies to all domains now.
- Here are some metrics Google used to audit this site:
- Is documentation avail. proving author-ownership of the site?
- Is there is easy to contact The Webmaster of Tapper7.com?
- Is his name, address, email, age verifiable?
- Does this site meet design standards?
- Is the content and design w3c compliant?
- Is the site growing? Does the site meet a minimum standard of audience size?
- What is the ratio of new vistor/returning visitor?
- how many pages do they visit?
- how long do they stay?
- Is it easy to navigate?
- Is content structured by category? does content match these categories?
- Is there a sub-index of tags for quick-access to other subjects in the posts?
- Is it structured in abstraction layers making it easy to index?
- Is a standard format used?
- does the code he used indicate an working knowledge of communications via the Web?
- Is the author’s really written by the stated author?
All of the above can be verified by a big-ass algorithm and processing power. In the spirit of being honest with my audience, I added a metatag to the site that IDs it as “Mature Content,” I deal with mature themes like violence, murder, rape, drugs, and I have a tendency to veer into jokes that are in poor taste, are offensive, contain racism or misogyny…everyone gets bashed EQUALLY. No one is safe from my jokes or my criticism. It’s all clearly labeled up front in my visible text and embedded so your browser can see it. Parents can set any browser to exclude my site because I tagged it as “Mature”—-Google will not approve “Adult” sites…by that they mean sites that publish pornography.. I didn’t look up any of these rules. I submitted my site for the highest level of validation available on the internet….it was approved by an extremely complex algorithm that everyone else claims to understand. I don’t understand it myself—-> but I can deduce most of what data it vacuums up, how it process the data and the parameters and probability of APPROVED vs. CHANGE & RESUBMIT. I don’t know how long it takes if you aren’t approved on the first try – I believe it is three months. (???) The probability of a random blog being approved is <1% or maybe zero. A completely legit site …probably better than mine in every way..will not violate the written rules, but nobody has the real algorithm – if they did it would be OBS w/in a week
Ethically I have a duty to tell you that I’ve enabled Google to post advertisements on this page and others. I clearly label every section that I allocated ad space to per SPJ code of ethics. ads are allegedly targeted to the demographics of what I post and who reads it. Most readers are educated, lower-middle to upper class, open-minded, interested in technology, always learning, tolerant and intelligent….w/o those qualities you wouldn’t “get” this site. 3rd parties I’ve allowed to post ads are carefully screened by Google…are they as legitimate? SHIT – BEATS ME! They are safe though. to be on my site…some of the pages load a tad slower, ill be ill be working on that to improve the experience for everyone associated with Taaper7.com.
In addition to class, readers predominately reside in LA/OC, the Bay Area, Chicago and New York. Without specifying company names- I noted a specific brand of a major American car company, a high-technology certification program located where many of you live, a brand new high-end-mobile phone, an expensdive men’s clothing line, a post-graduate software engineering certification, a master’s degree Accounting program and an MBA program. It confirms what I had always assumed was true of MOST readers. My target demographic.