The California Register *Special Edition* drops….

a shot of the hard copy. The California Register. January 2015. Buster the cadaver-sniffing dog is featured; so is police corruption/laziness and/or incompetence.

….and this writer is responsible for a great deal of the content.


If you did not receive a copy of the edition in your mail or PO Box today…I published a PDF of the prototype below so you can enjoy my words as much as I enjoyed writing them. A full copy of the paper in finalized “ATP” as-is form should be avail. to me soon.
This is not EXACTLY what was printed, but now that it’s out there, here is the editorial as it was initially laid out … the Approved to Print copy is a hair different but my words and are essentially equivalent.
Por Vous: B7 to B8 prototype*
Viva la voce y la pluma libre! The subversive graphic…defacing a Cal Poly “concrete welcome slab” electronically by this writer and published a few months back on this site as dark-satire… (MADE in MSPAINT!) is published as-is in the paper…I admire the chutzpah shown by the publisher of this seriously cool newspaper. His name is David Smallwood and is known as “Pismo Dave” in the Five Cities area.

Por Democracy: viva la marketa libre’! Lee la advert abajo. Gracias!

*CalPoly: Burying the past to protect our future and all pictures and graphics associated with it are the intellectual property of Chris Welke, please obtain permission before sharing/reproducing/copying/printing/etc. Thanks! More to come ASAP. Stay tuned dear reader…and grab your coat cuz it’s gonna be long one. []

Upgraded Web tools for your favorite blog ….

So this POS weblog began as a gift from a generous family member and was designed and built using an iPod Touch 4th gen. (A gift so wonderfully bestowed by my loving mother to while away the bedridden hours in and out of the hospital on youtube and FB ….youtube for fun and FB to reduce the phone calls and well-placed-well-intentioned-but-also-overwhelming amount of calls I needed to field as so many fans, friends, colleagues and loved ones (rightly so…) reached fits of panic all 22x I went under the knife to repair my thrashed body (which pretty much works now..heheh). It was easier to put an update on blast: “Back from OR…not dead…cranked full of demerol and ativan…feelin nice, surgery was a success, often accompanied by a photo of my leg or arm next to that day’s LA Times as proof of life. Better than fielding 50 phone calls, to which had it continued, my surgeon would’ve ripped the phone out of the wall as stress–> HBP—>panic—>return to ICU—> surgery failure or even cardiac arrest or seizure. If you think Dr. Wilkins would allow friends or even family to even move my stress level up one iota with his experimental right leg on the line …then you don’t know how hardcore Dr. Dub is about his patients and his creations.

So the iPod was great and kept me sane for a long time … it just was no good for Web Design, or Web Editing, which I do over on a great site called www.answers.com.

On this site I am pleased to have started as a Contributor, quickly promoted to Editor-at-Large and recently promoted again to Supervising Editor and am now the Resident Journalism Expert. A humble honor. I am far better at improving other people’s words than writing original ones of my own, so to my 1800 dear readers I thank you for hanging in there with me (see WIPs entry and feel free to rqst topics in the comments…I live to write for you, dear reader-no topic is off-limits and if there is something you wish to know more about, I’m happy to provide).

To provide better content for you and better service to Answers.com, I bought a Chromebook and it worked until the charger and relay took a shit, to which [again…] blogs and repair shops alike said “$100-$200 to solder the relay and btw, it will take four weeks to fix”

Smelled bullshit and it was…the one true thing is that the Samsung Chromebook is built with a flimsy and weak adapter that slides into an equally fragile and tiny relay in order to derive current and charge the battery much in the way an impotent asian man would try to fuck his virgin and equivalently asian bride on their wedding night…not exactly a strong connection. What? You got a non-racist metaphor have at it….THEY BUILT THAT POS!

Ok so I fixed it once, but when it happened again I decided the following things will no longer hold back this Web site, or my Web editing or my ability to get online and do my thing:

1. Macintosh and their faggy updating OBS hustle to force/con/scam/arm-twist customers into upgrades (needed or perceived-as)

2. “Netbooks” that only run http….such a waste and so much you can’t do (or can but it’s made complicated by needing every damn procedure or function to happen w/in a Web browser).

Today (unbelievably) thx to the most scandalous vendor location of the most scandalous vendor site known to the Web : Craigslist Orange County (Where 60 percent of goods are stolen, 70 percent are methamphetamine abusers and 10-30 percent are OCSD tracking stolen property, setting up stings and busting people who jack everything from tools to bikes to tablets to (use your imagination for other crimes infesting this little meth-head corner of Craigslist…) I DID FIND, a local who is about to upgrade his laptop, doesn’t need the one I’m now posting on, it is NOT STOLEN and he gave me a VERY FAIR price. It’s an Acer Aspire, plenty of Ghz and RAM and Gigs…Windows 7, and everything I need to keep bring you the bullshit you love.

This sweet laptop could be collecting dust in some guy’s garage…instead it is helping me bring you all the best in writing, stories, idiocy, social criticism, research, news…and [likely] for it’s first time…it now gets to say things like “cunt” “nigger” or “AIDS” in public.

God Bless The 1st Amendment and God Bless Free Market Capitalism. Fag.

Much love to my favorite reader-you, -Tap.