Fun with Microsoft’s Online OneDrive ….

So MSFT…in a last gasp effort to get you to use their software; is offering a newer; slightly more useful version of DropBox. You not only get some free cloud space; but instead of loading you up with a 90-day bloatware trial of Office 365 [as they did last time], they give you trial access to OneDrive.com (sorry no backlink –btw caution; the parody mktg doc im going to try and post HAS active links, one will take right back to the homepage at Tapper7.com; but the rest will take you to #NSFW in any way shape or form sites….just dont click them (crud now I KNOW you will…) anyway lets try n post this….it should be obvious what was weitten by Microsoft Marketing and what was edited by this writer ….Test – see if link to awful parody works ….Getting started with OneDrive parody by Tapper v0
Happy 2017!

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Update – WP doesnt want to post their PDF either – so here is the text in raw cut & paste form – remember I changed the link-rels; (if they work which I doubt…) dont click if at work or want to retain marriage! xD
What is OneDrive?
OneDrive is another shit product from Microsoft. And it’s free[mium] this means it has in-app purchases so we can try to trick you out of your $ or try to convince you to buy crap you don’t need. You get 15 GB of free storage with your Microsoft account, so you can store all types of pr0n in one place and get to them from any Starbucks
Friends & family can easily hack into your OneDrive files, including photos, login credentials, dating Websites and your bank account – even your “secret” pr0n videos, And OneDrive works with Windows and Office (in case you didn’t know that your OS is compatible with our nearly value-less desktop publishing programs such as “Word” “Excel” “Access” and PowerPoint – you may still use these programs if you fell through a wormhole and landed in 1998, so it’s simple to work with OneDrive files on your computer and collaborate with other people on documents. You can do this for free using Google Docs; or if you need to collaborate at the “above two guys running a weed clinic” -level; we have SharePoint; Sun, oops, we mean Oracle also has a far better product for this; but it does MRP/ERP and other useful shit rendering “Office” utterly useless; they call it Salesforce.com. On a budget? Open-source pioneers Apache offer a suite of tools for publishing; drawing; collaboration; dB, spreadsheets and all sorts of other useful functions; it’s called OpenOffice.
The clock is really ticking on our ability to make $ on Office so buy now….please!
Add files from your computer
To add files to OneDrive, just drag them into your computer’s OneDrive folder using File Explorer or Finder. The files will automatically sync across all of your devices that have OneDrive installed (so not your iPhone, your Mac desktop or your Android device (sorry!). So you can drag a photo from your laptop to your
OneDrive—and later open it in OneDrive on your phone. By that we mean the Windows Phone you don’t own.
Add files from your phone or tablet
To add photos and videos on your phone or tablet to OneDrive, use the OneDrive app. Even better—you can also choose to turn on camera backup to automatically save the photos and videos you take to OneDrive. So even if you lose your phone or tablet, you won’t lose your memories!
Add files using the OneDrive website
You can also add files from any computer, tablet, or phone by using the OneDrive website. Just go to OneDrive.com, sign in, and then tap or click Upload.
Share files
You can share individual files and even entire folders without attaching anything. Send an email with a link to what you’d like to share (in case you didn’t know you could already do this using any email client made in the last 25 years)—and rest assured that everything else in your OneDrive will stay private (except for all the people who already fished, socially engineered, brute-forced or simply requested your login credentials). To share items from the OneDrive website, just select the check box in the upper-right corner of the item and choose Share.
See, in software engineering; the requirements were to “add a method to share objects with other users” Sharing takes one step IRL; I hand you my smoke – done. But since this is Microsoft; where we begin sentemnces with words like “but,” “and” ….we build outdated software one wants or needs; our OS will crash if you forget to reboot; perhaps our most famously idiotic OS UI/UX design flaw goes all the way back to our first GUI; Windows 3.0 (which Xerox’s Parc Research Facility allowed us AND a marketing firm called Blueberry [or something] to build a OS’s that would put a PC in every home in America, later the Western World; now nearly the Globe) so it wasn’t us that invented it; but we know when to repurpose software & weasel out of paying! Anyway; as we started to create Windows; the topic of “shutting down” the computer came up….a senior engineer who hated C & C++ (said we should built it in Ada…anyway) he said “we already made “start” button; let’s just put it there.” A pesky C++ programmer piped up and said “…but stop is the opposite of start, therefore one can’t be designed as a subset of the other.” He was promptly fired. We hired another C/C++ guy who nodded and agreed with the sr. Engineer in all the right places; so we released his family from captivity and had the FBI drop the treason charge against him.
Collaborate with Office
OneDrive works with Office, so it’s easy to collaborate [its also easy to repeat yourself 3 times in 2 sentences!). Instead of sending around different copies of documents, you can give other people permission
to edit the document directly (just like any other CMS on the market!). You can even collaborate with people who don’t have Office installed on their computers—they can open and edit documents in OneDrive using Office Online. Of course; we aren’t responsible for other OS’s so the preceding statement is not only untested –if it fails its YOUR FUCKIN PROBLEM JACK!
Get OneDrive on your devices
Use OneDrive on your computer, tablet, and phone to get to your stuff from anywhere. You can download OneDrive apps at OneDrive.com/download.
Where can I learn more? For more info, check out OneDrive.com/about or go to OneDrive.com/support.
Whats the best way to kill myself?
Auto-erotic asphyxiation is in style for winter 2017!

MyEmojiBio ….

By GA production artist Gwen Carrington….the following is a biography of this writer in Emoji-only form. Not bad. Write one about someone else…. do you know enough to hit the highlights of their life via symbology (
Here’s my life through someone else’s perspective using emojis as pallete…..

By Gwen C.
By Gwen C.

A little holiday music…..

Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold tests his xmas lights handiwork
Happy Holidays from Bill Feynman, Chris Welke, Steve and SNAFU from the home office on Los Angeles, CA. These tracks are available to stream until 1/2/17. We are busy as fuck as I’m certain you are as well dear reader/listener. Let’s make 2017 so good as to make 2016 feel like 2015. Together. &heart. The Publishers Desk at Self-Similarly Studios, Lonely Faction Productions and The SoCal Picayune.
*to be updated asap WIP*

Breaking; Orange County Fire Capt. Does ‘Gayner’ off Crown Valley into The 5 ….

We here at the SoCal Pick talk lots of smack about local authorities…especially the OCSD & OCDA. With few exceptions; they really are racist, violent, sociopathic assholes that accomplish zilch. Unless you count eating doughnuts and trampling on the Bill of Rights “work.”
Not so for the Orange County Fire Authority. This writer volunteered at their beer booth across many years; to raise $ for worthwhile charities (and pound unlimited free beer), when I worked at the Starbucks off El Camino Real (back before “taxes on tips” and “cameras above every till”) we used to comp anyone in uniform… for cops, from SCPD (now defunct) to CHP, to Staties, to the BP (now called ICE) to the Secret Service. Why? –> Managers’ orders. Why was it a common practice? Free drinks for cops keeps them nearby. We simply were never paid enough to deal with the oxygen thieves that hung around all year… and the goddamn 909ers — out to flood our beaches with their nasty, deplorable bodies; faces, behavior… even their dope was awful which tore them back even further … in worst case; the 909 culture + a beach + booze + biker meth = more dangerous. -ahem….comp, yeah…same deal for first responders (EMTs) but especially and most often the OCFA. They’d come in groups of four to six, order Venti Fraps (Carmel & Mocha most often) even in 1999 four big ass Fraps went for a dub ($20), if you’re not familiar with comping; that means gratis — I don’t even look at the cash register; nor did I care if they walked out having paid zilch…what do I REALLY CARE? I made <$7/hr at that time; on a busy summer day; just my till alone had $4,000 in it — there were four tills. In real dollars a Venti Carmal Frap costs them…a fraction of a penny…-sigh- that was the good ol’ days when working the espresso bar was an ART – now espresso comes out of an idiot-proof box…and mgmt let us work the tips cuz they knew we busted our asses for nickels; needless to say, any firefighter in or out of uniform–> I didn’t ring them up. To say thanks, more than any other first respos the firemen would cram twenties into the tip jar. I’ve a good friend who is a retired chief; there’s no one more fun, interesting and entertaining to have a beer with than Chief.
So when I heard on the street that someone took a dive off Oso, it was at first both shocking and suspect. A sadness loomed over this writer after the wtf-part subsided. Also; did this person die?* What if you did that and fucked it up? Be a quad? Now unable to finish the job? We hate to admit it, but we prayed he died quickly and painlessly. Further fact checking found that an OCFA captain scaled the mesh link over the 5 on Crown Valley Parkway (not Oso), early yesterday afternoon; then bailed into southbound traffic. We’ve opted not to release his name as we cannot confirm family notification at press time. Authorities said the veteran firefighter was plowed by a big rig, then further obliterated by at least two other vehicles. Again, we like to think the man died instantly and sans pain. We also send prayers to the OCFA, the family of the deceased and anyone effected by this strange and fascinating tragedy.
Kind of puts YOUR holiday whiny bullshit in perspective, nu? What’s wrong, too much work? Lost someone close –“not sure how to get through the holidays without [close relationship person X]? Don’t have the moola to make Xmas happen? Back hurts? Not getting enough sleep? Well boo fucking hoo. Your life, your world, our world, The United States of America, our NATO allies. We are going to be fine. There is no reason to ever throw away the most precious gift a most precious universe can give; conscious life. You have that. Don’t ever take this for granted. when shit gets bad, phone a friend, hit up your neighbor, go to Starbucks, go to a bar, get drunk, get high, take a trip, bail out of OC… do something, do nothing, do anything, hurt yourself if you want– just don’t KILL yourself. It’s a selfish act. This individual had a family; now they have to shoulder the burdens he left in a pile of guts all over the freeway – morbid I know but this is a wake up call to all you sad sacks and grumpy gus’ out there; enough with your problems! They aren’t a 10th as bad as YOU see them to be in YOUR HEAD…. if it comes to “I guess I’ll just check out for good,” then call a suicide hotline, dial at random, prank call a big-box store; where whomever takes the call is already at the end oif their rope….s#!t–call phone sex, call your mommy, really ….who gives a fuck? Well, I do, we do, you do. Readers can get at me anytime via social media or in the comments. I’ll get back to you. SSStudios, Tapper, Cdub and Bill Feynman are perennially available. Things aren’t as bad as they seem now, not for you, not for me [I admit it]. Take a deep breathe, relax those shoulders and say, “my life sucks d!*k but its MY life....2017 will be better and I can get through the holidays without giving my .45 a blow job.” []

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*Note–under the circumstances; by all accounts the instigator of this mess died instantaneously when struck by the tractor trailer and in all probability — felt nothing, he left that for you and I to mull over

A tribute to “pretty good privacy” or PGP …


I found a breakdown of the design of this security algorithm still in use a quarter-century after its creation; but the designer obviously never took a course in design docs or spec; so here is my re-made rendition. (processes/functions/methods are rectangular, [most] data is parallelogram-ular (??)…all other symbols, descriptions, connections, emoji’s and hyperlinks should be intuitive. Created by Bill Feynman at self-sim-sususudios 11/16. the following is a link to the odf if you’d like to download and improve/edit/whatever….pgp-diagram pgp-diagram
for JP, find him @www.analogdesign.com

Retraction….Trump wins….

We were wrong. Ethics require me to admit wrongness as prominently as the worngness itself; so here ya’ go. The Associated Press just called it. For the non-media savvy. That’s checkmate. Sorry Hil. This doesn’t mean Trump won’t be gargling his nutsac however….