Report from Hell: Cats, Public Domain and Elevator Music

a photo of the postaers that came with ff3 and earthworm jim for super nintendo

Intrepid AVI film producer Bill Feynman captured another amazing part of reality not normally seen.

What is Hell?

What does it look like?

Do they play good music there?answer…kinda…

More SNES madness, SLO-stories, Drum Corps Tales of Yore and semi-human thought-process expression coming soon! -Bill F.

    Sponsored Link Below:

  • Yes…there are lots of ads in Hell…how do you think they keep the heat on?

The Chemical Attack on Doma Castle No Longer a “Conspiracy Theory”

a photo of the postaers that came with ff3 and earthworm jim for super nintendo

The deaths of hundreds of citizens, soldiers and bureaucrats at Doma Castle has long been the subject of debate among scholars, the right-wing-fascists, commie-pinko bastards and Conspiracy Theorists on both sides.
So what really did happen at Doma CastleWhat was the fate of the Domians?

It has long been the position of The Empire that the terrorist organization known as “The Returners,” launched an Anthrax attack on the city’s water supply. Doma being a castle– the well, moat and river leading past its hallowed halls were targeted to maximize the effect. Hundreds died in the days that followed, many of them “with fire in their lungs.”
Returner sympathizers were arrested within days and summarily executed.

I’ve dug long and hard into the available source material, but none is more vivid than my own eyewitness account as an embedded reporter with The Returners Continental Army, a conservative group trying to  prevent history from repeating itself by restricting The Empire’s access to Magic by any means possible.
I’ve edited and added some commentary to the original b-roll from the early 90s. Using Snes9x, AVI technology, Windows Media Maker, Microsoft Visual C++ 2005 (Redistributable), Tapper’s HP 15, Google’s Monolithic YouTube HTML5 server and other available tools, here is the Truth about the Tragedy @ Doma…so many years hence.

Much more famous cutscenes, dramatic in-game dialogue, analysis, comment, comedy and 90s nostalgia is comin’ at your 12 courtesy of Tapper, myself, Tapper7.com, Google, (mt) and the genius of those artists whose inspirational dreams create an enduring harmony of artistic magic we remember today.*

This is only TEST. Repeat this is only a test.
Coming soon: Celes fills in for Maria at the Opera House.
How Shiny Entertainment* envisioned Hell.
Donkey Kong!*

*Legal – Fair Use of Content by SQUARESOFT/SQUARE/SQUARE-ENIX is embedded in the above YT vid.

Whattup Tapper7.com? Presenting a Suge Knight anecdote

Hey yo….”mic check…one, two um…twelve.”

a gif of moe from the simpsons
moe syzlack
Unlocked for faithful readers and listeners: rare Eminem track WAY old-school #NSFW: visit his site and buy his s@!T Em rocks yo!

My name is William Feynman. …I’m quite a bit like Tapper but I was born 89, not 79 like that old fogey… I look like him too, but I haven’t had any bones or joints replaced by machine parts, far less scars and I’ve never seen the inside of an institution unless you count Cleveland Hall; a dormitory made entirely of reinforced steel and concrete at The California Technical University. CTU paid the same Architectural Firm that built Wasco State Penitentiary, Susanvillle State Prison and the Federal prison located just north of San Luis Obispo called The California Men’s Colony. When Tapper lived in Yosemite Hall at The California Polytechnic State University, he cooked and delivered pizzas for the local Dominoes on Foothill Blvd. He delivered pizzas to the CO’s at the CMC a few times a week. This is a minimum-security prison …usually he left the pizzas at the front public-entrance. After he’d been delivering to the Prison for a few months a CO told him that many of the pizzas were ordered by Suge Knight.

Suge was doing time for hanging Vanilla Ice out of a third story window by his ankles…making it clear that he expected a payment-forth-with for composing, mixing and recording “Ice Ice Baby,” and scaring “Ice” so badly he went running to the LAPD . Called “Checking-In,” It is dishonorable, fool-hardly and cowardly to expect the LAPD to look after you. As if being a one-hit wonder wasn’t shameful enough, the hair gel and that whole weird-wigger-trip…now he was a narc and Suge got pinched as result. What he’d been convicted of is a federal crime, so they sent him to one of those white-collar “tennis-clubs” we assume all those Enron jerks were sent to.

I can assure; they ain’t tennis clubs, but Federal Prison, as opposed to State? Yes…they are country clubs (with guard towers and CO’s armed with shotguns and long-rifles, that is).

Some prisoners earn special work privileges, the most coveted being the garage, where inmates fix state and federal vehicles. Crown Vics and busses mostly…if you’re going to be Stuck like Chuck in Uncle Sam’s Hoosgow for a few years, a great way to pass the time is working on cars…money goes on your books for doing this. It is great exercise for the mind and body; as you car-aficionados know.

Suge worked in the garage sometimes; The CO’s and inmates who were pro or apprentice mechanics all knew Tapper. Including Suge. According to Tapper, “Suge was super mellow and cool….he always asked the CO’s to leave me at least a $20 tip.”

The first time they met, Tap handed him two large pepperoni’s w/ lots of plates, napkins and thickly stuffed with crushed red pepper and cheese packets. these can be used later on other foods and have monetary value inside the Pen because prisoners do have access to real $ in physical form. so they barter. The stack of extras he brought to show respect and deference to probably the greatest rap producer of all time; easily on the top 10 list of music producers EVER.

“Thanks man…good lookin’ out Dawg,” said Knight.

“Your welcome man,” said Tap. “You shoulda just dropped that wigger right on his dumb face.”

Knight let out a thunderous, bellowing laughter and set the pizzas atop the hood of a white Crown Vic to avoid dropping them, buckled over with laughter as he was.

“shit Dawg, you a funny muthf—ka… you all up in that Cal Poly s— huh?” You look like a smart dude.”

“You could say that, I study computer science and music..and obviously [pulling on his shirt]…deliver pizzas too.”

“You a workin’ man…that’s for-real s— Dawg.”

“I’ve been practicing how to slap and toss dough …the CMC always tips good so I cook it up special….I assume it’s for you when the order is for two larges w/ extra pepperoni. I roll it in cornflour, slap it, toss it, lay it down neat, ladle in the sauce, throw the cheese by hand, deal 40 peps to each one, then I put a thin layer of cheese on top of the peps. That’s the way I make for myself, my bro’s and VIP customers like the CMC…you like it that way?”

“I love it man. Much love…Thanks Dawg.”

“Thanks for ‘All Eyes On Me’ That’s the best rap album of all-time PERIOD. No question.”

“…yeah man it was all gravy when ‘Pac was in the mix with me…that old-school-for real..but the rules have all changed,” said Knight, looking down & tugging on his grey-drab and oil-stained jumpsuit. Then looking up; missing his friend most likely.

“No shit,” Tap replied, tugging at his own dungy/stained uniform shirt. “My oldest friend, my closest friend and first boss have all passed on since I to came to SLO…I’m sorry for your loss,” Tap said, referring to Tupac Shakur.

“It’s all bad li’l Peckerwood Pizza-Cook…”
Knight turned to his pizza and began filling his large jowels with three slices he’d stacked atop each other. Knight was clearly savoring the taste. He chewed fast as Tap put out his hand.

Suge extended his in return with an audible gulp, “It’s Saturday Dawg…don’t front ….go out and have one on us…break off a nice piece of a– tonite …for me…Pac too.”

“Loaded and laid. Tonite? I’m all about that, I’ll double-down on your bahalf …all in for 2Pac”

“Get yo money Peck’woood,” Knight crooned. “Get. Yo …muhnnnNAY!.”

A friendly CO handed Tapper $100 on his way out of the garage and back to “The Civic.” I asked him what he thought during the 1 mile drive back to the shop.

“I was thinking about how NONE of my neighbors, who were all members of The Anti-Semitic Cal Poly Christian Fellowship would not even know who Suge Knight is and that even if I told them; they would not be impressed one bit. They would hate me even more for being a fan of a black man.

Tapper is spot on, CP’s CPCF’s racism and antisemitism is well known. What is not known is whether they hate Jews or Blacks MORE -they affect as  equal-opportunity haters.

Tapper kept his word to Suge and the memory of Tupac that night by getting blasted, blunted and seriously laid. he poured out a beer that night for his friends Tony and Ray…for his former Employer…and one of the best musicians to ever walk this Earth.

-William Feyman. My email is Bill@Tapper7.com

Whattup Tapper7.com? Presenting a Suge Knight anecdote

 
 
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Resolving spirituality with logic aka Religion AND Science (not vs.)….

Can we put it all together? Human beings are in a constant search from whence we came. Was it part of a natural system? Is there an infinite consciousness…i.e. God? Is God required for creation to occur? What is the nature of creation? Is it an infinite cycle of expansion and contraction – that is, NEVER CREATED…just IS? What about “as above, so below”? Are we Gods ourselves who control universes, knowingly or not …at the level of sub-atomic particles (???) …is the sum of our universe a sub-atomic particle in an incomprehensibly LARGER universe? Do these size scales iterate larger and smaller forever in BOTH directions?
These questions can be daunting; we still don’t know much about “The Beginning,” if there even was one…cultures fight and (of course) slaughter each other over who has the “right” answer.
So what to do? The Laws of Nature, particularly physics and extra-particularly Quantum Mechanics, break down at points of infinite density or at speeds approaching the speed of light. Laws of Nature do not actually break down; it’s just that we haven’t yet a scientific model that reconciles Newtonian Mechanics, General Relativity and The Quantum Theory.
Modern Physicists are in a search for what they call The GUT. Not that ever-widening flab you’re now looking down at fatso. This is the Grand Unified Theory (of EVERYTHING). This is, for those of you who did not study The Calculus, E=mc^2 on steroids spiked with phenycyclidine. It’s hypothetical, presumed to be elegant and simple, like a^2 +b^2 = c^2, or C=pie(D)….or “The Pie is a Lie.” and we MAY discover/prove it in our lifetime. Why not?
Currently we have four forces of nature: Gravity, Electromagnetism, The Strong Nuclear (holds protons and neutrons together) and the Weak Nuclear (holds a proton and an electron together…this “weak” force, when broken, is the first step in the chain reaction that creates an H-bomb…imagine the power of the Strong one…this involves nuclear fusion; beyond the scope of this article and my knowledge…it is also beyond the scope of human knowledge as well. We know it exists at the center of stars….as far as US creating a fusion reaction…..”mmmmuhIdonnnnknow???” Nerrrrrrr…….).
We also have 12 elementary particles, I don’t feel like looking them up right now, so I’ll embed an appropriate MelodySheep video:

To me, 12 and four are reducible…well, mathematically they are: 12 factors into six, four, three, two and one. Four factors into two and one. To me it makes more sense if the total elementary particles and forces were prime, That is….I’d create a universe with ONE force and at MOST three elementary particles. Who knows? Could my ideal “Prime Universe” turn out to be real when the GUT is definitively defined and proven by the scientific method? Methinks yes.
What about God and religion and spirituality and all that (usually) good stuff? Well, I am not the first to consider this, but if you look at the First Five Books of Moishe (Gentiles call it The Old Testament)….Genesis (not the band) resolves quite nicely with what is known about the physical universe. I’ll give you an example:

“God created the Earth in six days….then he kicked back for a day and had a beer.” Impossible, right? WRONG.

TIME is RELATIVE TO THE OBSERVER….this means that God, the observer in this case, created the world in six “God” days…which could be billions or trillions of human years, you don’t know. Why? You’re not GOD. You can remind your kids or spouse of that when you get home today…you know…‘case they dun fergot.
Genesis in-particular, resolves quite nicely with what’s known about the Big Bang…I’ll get into that more in another post. For now, consider the graphic I made. (featured at top)

  1. The universe starts with a point (created: one dimension)
  2. The point moves along the face of the water (created: two dimensions + time)
  3. YHWH creates land and water on the land (created: Three dimensions)
  4. YHWH creates plants and flowers that bear seed and fruit – (created: LIFE)

All of it…every word of it, dovetails nicely with our current physical model of the universe and how it (in it’s current iteration) BEGAN. Yeah….really…. it does!
This is why when asked “What do you believe?” My reply is,

“I don’t believe in anything; there are only things I know …and things I do not.”

This does not make me a nihilist, I assure you. I am a spiritual man …. I don’t BELIEVE in “God,” –call he/she/it whatever you want. I know for a FACT in my HEART that there is a power greater than myself that created me, you, this keyboard, cat pictures, Coen Bros. movies, sunsets, Beethoven, Jim Prime, Dean Westman, Phil Hendrie, Greg “Opie” Hughes, FutureCorps, The 1995 Madison Scouts, Clifford Brown, Curtis Fuller, Lee Morgan, John Coltrane, Maynard Ferguson, Gene Krupa, odd-meter, company-fronts, love at first sight, soul-mates, adaptation, deoxyribose-nucleic acid, eicosopenteanoic acid, docosohexeanoic acid, lysergic acid, Algebra, Geometry, Rate of Change, Potential Difference, Natural Numbers all the way up to Transcendental Numbers, WalMart, The Orange County Sheriff’s Department…even your a$$h0le boss! “God” is real; to me that is a logically concluded fact based on observed reality seen through my personal perspective. In my world, this requires neither faith nor belief. It just IS.

God Is. []

….Later we can get into Rene’ Descartes mathematical proof that God (YHWH, the ineffable name of God….pronounced “Yah-weigh”) exists. Really this prose is just filler for the graphic I spent WAY more time on. I hope you find it informative and ok-looking. Made using Apache Open Office Draw.

Youtube and WordPress (hopefully) breathes new life into dying art form…

Around the turn of the millennium a new technology for animation was born: Flash. With it, an animator needn’t “a sweatshop in Korea with 50 animators working 24/7 at gunpoint ….and chickens running around”—said Mike Reiss, 26-year veteran producer of “The Simpsons”—Reiss is a four-time Emmy-winning producer, He wrote for Johnny Carson and Conan O’Brien in addition to a creator credit for “The Critic,” and scores of children’s novels – notably How Murray Saved Christmas, which NBC/Universal turned into a movie that aired Christmas Day last year to rousing reviews and accolades.

Flash can be programmed to do a great deal of the animation itself; a golden age of mature-themed animation made it’s way to the Web via Newgrounds and later Icebox. Icebox went defunct for a spell; they are back up though! With the advent of YouTube, animation host Newgrounds faded into the background as well. On the NEW Icebox, there exists ZERO NEW content, but all the CLASSIC animated series are is posted to an AWFUL WordPress blog (worse than mine) and the vids are hosted on YT-natch. It’s rough-around the edges but a whole lot better than nothing. Brilliant, hysterical, edgy and outrageously talented creations are resurrected…thanks to increasingly inexpensive Web-hosting.
This is a common model for modern publishing (I use it myself)…

WP engine: cheap…embedding video through YouTube – free.

Now all the fantastic episodes of SEVERAL brilliant “webtoons” are avail. It’s weird …. the episodes have so few views…Some episodes of “Superhero Roommate” featuring Brian Posehn…one of my all-time favorite comedians…has barely 200 views since uploading *ahem*
*scratch that…* “Leftovers part 1,” up for two years, has just over 100 views- I’d like to help him change that:

The surge of creative possibilities attracted a flood of heavy-hitter producers, writers, musicians and other artists. They were captivated by the ease of animating and the uncensored freedom offered by the InterWebz. In an eerily self-prophesying episode, Larry David piled on for a new series called “The Paula Principle” David creates a senator who’s just been nominated for president, he laments, self-deprecates and yells at his manager in classic LD-style, noting that he’s a complete hack, unqualified, in over his head…too stupid to do the job. Sadly…it was the only episode ever made. If I ever meet him, I will ask what would’ve happened to the “Complete Idiot” Senator, written an voiced by David himself and VERY MUCH a prequel to the style he would use on “Curb.” :

Only 290 views! How many times do you think “The Soup Nazi” episode of Seinfeld has been watched? I’ve seen it…3x? Would it be safe to say over a billion considering the syndication and DVD sets…and the fans who watch favorite episodes over and over again?
Another favorite of mine that has been brought back to life is “Mr. Wong” by Pam Brady. Mr. Wong is a SEVERE asian stereotype, his boss abuses him w/o mercy…and he gets involved with opiates, binge-drinking, hallucinations and “accidently” turns gay in this masterful series. The production value is top-notch. The main-theme played on the harpsichord at whiplash speeds in later episodes is a nod to how many heavy-hitting artists/musicians Flash technology attracted, here is episode 1, “Urine Trouble,” :

As you can see, this series was so good it was picked up by Mondo in 2009 and has nearly a quarter-million views since then. I assure you, episode 1 previously had well-over a million views through Newgrounds and the old version of Icebox.
Another series that enjoyed commercial success was “Queer Duck,” written by Mike Reiss, voiced by top-of-the-food-chain V/O KING Billy West (he was/is Ren & Stimpy amoung countless others on nearly every successful animated series/movie EVER – The Simpsons, Futurama…you name it). Rupaul joined up to write a SWINGIN ‘intro and outro that he sang masterfully. The gay jokes are hysterical, Reiss branched off from  The Simpsons as he was growing sick of the media’s portrayal of homosexuals, though he is not HIMSELF gay…at all..he’s Jewish, like me…and we have a tendency to come to the aid of oppressed groups; particularly those known to have an artistic gift (women, blacks and gays!) by promoting them…and taking our cut (Naturally…) Here’s episode two; I first watched when Reiss gave a seminar at Cal Poly, I interviewed him for the Daily and I asked him to show me the most offensive episode he had in the can so far. This was what he showed me….btw did I mention all the content is #NSFW? …I didn’t? Ok….well… it’s not…if you haven’t been fired yet let’s move on…sorry about that.

Yes..this series was so good it was picked up by Showtime.
He also created “Hard-Drinkin’ Lincoln,” which is self-explanatory. It’s about Honest Abe as an honestly s__t-faced, hardcore alcoholic, hijinks ensue and he usually gets shot at the end of every episode, making J.W. Booth a hero. It’s February, so here ya’ go….Reiss’ “Black History Month” tribute:

Speaking of purposely-offensive cringe-humor, great music and “period pieces,” “Meet The Millers” is one of my all-time favs…written by David Zuckerman. Dan Castelleneta (Homer S.) does V/O and Frank Sinatra Jr. wrote/sang the theme. It takes place in a xenophobic, commie-fearing, HEAVILY racist/anti-semitic suburb of Washington D.C.  in the 1950s. The father, an FBI agent, uses intimidation, fear-tactics, physical abuse and societal ills to his HILARIOUS advantage, which …naturally, he teaches to his children (when he’s not beating them of course)…Due to the Jennifer Aniston flick of same name, a normal web-query BURIES this great series deep down the list, even if you qualify the search for videos-only. I’ll plumb the depths of Youtube to find you an especially offensive/hysterical episode for ya, dear reader:

The dead-serious-severity in the voice of the older brother as he warns his black friend not to touch his sister and the BLAST against the French is daring and thought-provoking social satire…especially the ironic use of a laugh track when the jokes are at their most brutal not even 500 views yet.!…and now you know why the French kiss you twice!
So Icebox is BACK UP…someone setup a WP blog and assigned each series to a category. There are many more excellent series-es…es(????)….. I personally recommend “Starship Regulars,” I’m fairly certain it’s safe for work, it was initially scripted for network TV…”s__t” and “f__k” are substituted with futuristic terms, so it works. This one probably has the highest production value of them all. It’s a bummer there are so few episodes. I’m not a Trekkie by any stretch ..nor do I get too excited about Star Wars…sorry to burst your bubble if you thought I did. Remember: I’m a geek…. not a nerd; HUGE DIFFERENCE. I would’ve been all about this show had a major network bitten down on this…but, no dice: (Showtime did-yet it had a pitifully short run their Web site)

NOT EVEN A THOUSAND VIEWS!!! This is some of the greatest multimedia artwork ever created…and no one knows about it!
Even the new Icebox website is presented in carelessly written CSS…the videos out-span column-one, the new site is messy-carelessly slapped together-glad it’s there but sad to see it in such shabby condition. I present these on my site to promote the genius of their work…and to tidy up the FORMAT in which it is presented– Heroes of mine like Larry David and Mike Reiss (I STILL can’t believe I got to meet…even kick it w/ that guy in college…) THEY DESERVE BETTER. So I’m giving it to them. Check out some funny s— you’ve never seen or heard of before! None of my artist/writer/musician readers will be disappointed. This is Tapper-approved multimedia content we’re talkin’ about here!
My interview with Reiss was placed in the can at the Mistake Daily, so I have no access to it, but I’m in the process of extracting data off another old drive…I’m hoping it’s in there. I placed an order through an IT friend/associate, it took him a while to find the li’l gadget, there’s an issue with reading data off old IDE hard drives (obviously) plus I spent a little extra on a component that will interpret the data and send it out via USB 2.0, PLUS it fits in a case to protect the drive from electromagnetism. I don’t want to extract it from my old win95 box (ca. 1998) till it comes in….for all I know my cell phone …or a WiFi signal could fry it –frequency-modulation and EM are NOT on my list of expertise. All told it should work just like a thumb-drive –though it needs it’s own dedicated power supply, again, to protect it from getting sharked or de-magnetized. I’m srsly excited to get into my personal treasure-trove of writing, music and C++ code from my Cal Poly Dorm Days! This is from a tech-era when UNIX, C++/STL, Ethernet, Quake II, FTP, ICQ, IRC, Sun Microsystems, SPARC Solaris, Silicon Graphics (SGI) and Worms: Armageddon ruled the day! Facebook, Twitter, Google, Napster, .NET, even MYSPACE(!!!) weren’t even fully-formed IDEAS yet. It’s only 16 years ago, but that’s millenia in cyberspace-time. No one even says “cyberspace” anymore…see how dated it all is? In 1998, it would be six years until I finally caved-in and became the last man in America and got a cell-phone! One thing hasn’t changed…Microsoft still sucks.

Big-time fun to come…much of it (the interesting or historically-significant it’s) I will publish here.

So…..Is there any truth to the rumor that Springfield, ??…WAS IN FACT based on San Luis Obispo? I put that question to Reiss. Stay tuned…dear reader, stay tuned. []

Thanks for stopping by and please…many of you are spending too much time on my site. Did I mention that in the privacy policy? If not…Google reports “Sessions” to me….their clients are obsessed with it…how long you stay…only because they need to know how big of an “impression” my sponsored links made on you – so they report it to me daily. As for whom and how long? Per my privacy policy I cannot say, but some of you- TOO LONG, so again…get back to work, k? I don’t want to get anyone in trouble. -T.