Fun with Microsoft’s Online OneDrive ….

So MSFT…in a last gasp effort to get you to use their software; is offering a newer; slightly more useful version of DropBox. You not only get some free cloud space; but instead of loading you up with a 90-day bloatware trial of Office 365 [as they did last time], they give you trial access to OneDrive.com (sorry no backlink –btw caution; the parody mktg doc im going to try and post HAS active links, one will take right back to the homepage at Tapper7.com; but the rest will take you to #NSFW in any way shape or form sites….just dont click them (crud now I KNOW you will…) anyway lets try n post this….it should be obvious what was weitten by Microsoft Marketing and what was edited by this writer ….Test – see if link to awful parody works ….Getting started with OneDrive parody by Tapper v0
Happy 2017!

Support our sponsor below – help keep The Pick running like a well-oiled ..err… ok I really mailed this one in – better content and a new podcast coming soon – we have new equipment here at SStudios. Woot!


Update – WP doesnt want to post their PDF either – so here is the text in raw cut & paste form – remember I changed the link-rels; (if they work which I doubt…) dont click if at work or want to retain marriage! xD
What is OneDrive?
OneDrive is another shit product from Microsoft. And it’s free[mium] this means it has in-app purchases so we can try to trick you out of your $ or try to convince you to buy crap you don’t need. You get 15 GB of free storage with your Microsoft account, so you can store all types of pr0n in one place and get to them from any Starbucks
Friends & family can easily hack into your OneDrive files, including photos, login credentials, dating Websites and your bank account – even your “secret” pr0n videos, And OneDrive works with Windows and Office (in case you didn’t know that your OS is compatible with our nearly value-less desktop publishing programs such as “Word” “Excel” “Access” and PowerPoint – you may still use these programs if you fell through a wormhole and landed in 1998, so it’s simple to work with OneDrive files on your computer and collaborate with other people on documents. You can do this for free using Google Docs; or if you need to collaborate at the “above two guys running a weed clinic” -level; we have SharePoint; Sun, oops, we mean Oracle also has a far better product for this; but it does MRP/ERP and other useful shit rendering “Office” utterly useless; they call it Salesforce.com. On a budget? Open-source pioneers Apache offer a suite of tools for publishing; drawing; collaboration; dB, spreadsheets and all sorts of other useful functions; it’s called OpenOffice.
The clock is really ticking on our ability to make $ on Office so buy now….please!
Add files from your computer
To add files to OneDrive, just drag them into your computer’s OneDrive folder using File Explorer or Finder. The files will automatically sync across all of your devices that have OneDrive installed (so not your iPhone, your Mac desktop or your Android device (sorry!). So you can drag a photo from your laptop to your
OneDrive—and later open it in OneDrive on your phone. By that we mean the Windows Phone you don’t own.
Add files from your phone or tablet
To add photos and videos on your phone or tablet to OneDrive, use the OneDrive app. Even better—you can also choose to turn on camera backup to automatically save the photos and videos you take to OneDrive. So even if you lose your phone or tablet, you won’t lose your memories!
Add files using the OneDrive website
You can also add files from any computer, tablet, or phone by using the OneDrive website. Just go to OneDrive.com, sign in, and then tap or click Upload.
Share files
You can share individual files and even entire folders without attaching anything. Send an email with a link to what you’d like to share (in case you didn’t know you could already do this using any email client made in the last 25 years)—and rest assured that everything else in your OneDrive will stay private (except for all the people who already fished, socially engineered, brute-forced or simply requested your login credentials). To share items from the OneDrive website, just select the check box in the upper-right corner of the item and choose Share.
See, in software engineering; the requirements were to “add a method to share objects with other users” Sharing takes one step IRL; I hand you my smoke – done. But since this is Microsoft; where we begin sentemnces with words like “but,” “and” ….we build outdated software one wants or needs; our OS will crash if you forget to reboot; perhaps our most famously idiotic OS UI/UX design flaw goes all the way back to our first GUI; Windows 3.0 (which Xerox’s Parc Research Facility allowed us AND a marketing firm called Blueberry [or something] to build a OS’s that would put a PC in every home in America, later the Western World; now nearly the Globe) so it wasn’t us that invented it; but we know when to repurpose software & weasel out of paying! Anyway; as we started to create Windows; the topic of “shutting down” the computer came up….a senior engineer who hated C & C++ (said we should built it in Ada…anyway) he said “we already made “start” button; let’s just put it there.” A pesky C++ programmer piped up and said “…but stop is the opposite of start, therefore one can’t be designed as a subset of the other.” He was promptly fired. We hired another C/C++ guy who nodded and agreed with the sr. Engineer in all the right places; so we released his family from captivity and had the FBI drop the treason charge against him.
Collaborate with Office
OneDrive works with Office, so it’s easy to collaborate [its also easy to repeat yourself 3 times in 2 sentences!). Instead of sending around different copies of documents, you can give other people permission
to edit the document directly (just like any other CMS on the market!). You can even collaborate with people who don’t have Office installed on their computers—they can open and edit documents in OneDrive using Office Online. Of course; we aren’t responsible for other OS’s so the preceding statement is not only untested –if it fails its YOUR FUCKIN PROBLEM JACK!
Get OneDrive on your devices
Use OneDrive on your computer, tablet, and phone to get to your stuff from anywhere. You can download OneDrive apps at OneDrive.com/download.
Where can I learn more? For more info, check out OneDrive.com/about or go to OneDrive.com/support.
Whats the best way to kill myself?
Auto-erotic asphyxiation is in style for winter 2017!

A tribute to “pretty good privacy” or PGP …


I found a breakdown of the design of this security algorithm still in use a quarter-century after its creation; but the designer obviously never took a course in design docs or spec; so here is my re-made rendition. (processes/functions/methods are rectangular, [most] data is parallelogram-ular (??)…all other symbols, descriptions, connections, emoji’s and hyperlinks should be intuitive. Created by Bill Feynman at self-sim-sususudios 11/16. the following is a link to the odf if you’d like to download and improve/edit/whatever….pgp-diagram pgp-diagram
for JP, find him @www.analogdesign.com

From static frames to animation – JavaScript, Java & Processing; coding Art ….

As part of my research, I endeavored to build a frame and tile itevenly…as you would a column in a upscale restaurant, or as Billy-Buster tiled his lesser-known below-ground pool in the hilltop paradise above San Simeon. Drawing squares, keeping track of their quantity, position and spacing proved unweildy. So back to the drawing board I turned. The first task was to completely fill a window with squares, evenly spaced, uniformed – no holes. My first breakthrough was a rectangular grid – from the drawing board I found that instead of looping to keep track of the squares (their origins in CGI coordinates space, their quantity, when to drop down a row, when to stop building them…) oy! I located a KISS-simple solution in the following functions and abstract data types:

Click to see it transform.
Some tweaks to a nested-for loop, appropriate “pops” nee popMatrix(); and the careful application of a “random” number generator to produce cool-colored tiles —but not TOO cool — experiment yielded a random range in Green and Blue to give the tiles a watery sheen, sans magenta, indigo, dark purple and the like. For personal intersest and further research I added a mouse event that slows down the animation, eliminates the thin black borders on each tile and zooms in on the whole operation.
At long last “Random dynamic & cool tiles” is up for public consumption:
I could see a pool in Laguna, LA, Vegas or Laughlin with swanky, swarthy, light-up tiles in a pool or on a wall of it’s club …. Bill R. Hearst would be pleased…I like to think so.
Next – I thought about Neil Degrasse Tyson. He says that the “snow” we see on the “TV channels in-between TV channels,” (something our Millennial friends may never fully appreciate…) is ACTUALLY a visual representation of the background radiation that’s permeated the Universe since the Big Bang. UHF & VHF cathode-ray displays pick up this noise and spit out the “ssshhhhhhhh” and the black, white & gray snow we may’ve found on Channel 1 or 3. Mostly, it was annoying and caused us to quickly dial up to CBS, PBS, NBC, FOX or ABC to see what was cookin’….but in the context of nostalgia, the scientific implication of looking back seven trillion years; this “snow” is worth an emulation. Using similar logic I fashioned version 1. The snow doesn’t dance around the screen, but the small circular “flakes” and the way they appear to move based on random gray-scale shadings is a nice start. It looks like they move – kinda.
^^^^I slowed the frame rate down to avoid headaches.
After random “cool” I had to attempt random “warm” –this graphic reminds me of a HollyWood or Vegas marquee. Bright lights seize attention; underscoring the glitz and glamour purported to be found within. The difference is that I think the bulbs this animation emulates are controlled in strict, looping sequences as opposed to my random flashes of “bright” colors controlled by logic.
This animation reminds me of the “Sushi”scene from “Defending Your Life” — Albert Brooks’ barmate proudly states that his life accomplishment was coining the phrase “All Nude. (You know those strip clubs out by LAX? ….“) You needn’t be a fan of his quirky brand of humor to get huge kick out this classic.
That said, I FINALLY got the computer graphic programs to not only display but animate! The “random- (random number generators are not TRULY random, but they are close)-ness” of the algorithms give the displays a kind of innate ability for the computers to create something of THEIR OWN — MY LOGIC & Design—> the computers’ brushstrokes.
All of the “sketches” (as they call them) on my new OpenProcessing Profile are completely original – designed, built, tested, tweaked and deployed by this writer. If you visit my new page & graphics, the source code is easily visible. Feel free to reproduce it yourself, or make changes/improvements to it. You will find that all of them are optimized –nee “code-golfed.” I designed these algorithms to use the fewest lines of code, fewest commands and simplest logic to add a layer of mathematical elegance to the aesthetic of each sketch. Please feel free to download my source code…just plz note that all of them are intellectual property- if you plan to use them in a public/educational or commercial setting…just ask! chris@tapper7.com
More coming soon….plus a litany of fresh podcasts – “I swear it by the old gods & the new.” -t []

Embed Tapcast via iTunes INTO The Socal Picayune? Technical testing time DING DING!….

So in order to promote my new podcast, so far I can only give search terms on SM….which is way lame, but lots are listening to my prototype level content either organically or because they YOU are reader and have a twisted sense of what qualifies as entertainment (actually you are likely to have a higher education and IQ than 90 % of the public per my analytics analysis aggregation)

SO!force you to search for “Tapcast” on iTunes or 1 mouse click? as software engineer I go with latter. Fast, ez & SIMPLE. No work should be involved to be informed and entertained by the madhouse that is Self-Similarity Studios.
TESTING…..take 1: Apple’s iTunes “Linkmaker”

Below should feature a button so you can “get some” I mean “get it on iTunes” ….

I’ll even allow the Apple branding if it works….
Here are the some of the new transcription arrangements NOT included in the cast….
Testing…”Salvation is Created” adapted from an arrangement by Greg Flores….
Salvation is Created arr. Tapper by Tapper7
*EDIT – Aerith’s theme removed from embedding due to Musescore’s limit of 5 scores, I will repost it on iTunes as “music only” and perhaps a pdf or two here.
*
Relm and Aerith’s Theme were composed by Nobuo Uematsu on behalf of SquareSoft for FF3 on the SNES and FFVII on the PS1, respectively. You can currently order FFVII via Steam if you can’t wait for the remake. As for FF3 (FF6 in Japan), sans a cartridge and console, I recommend snes9x provided you DID purchase the game legitimately when you were a kid. As for Hayes I love that track but f-him na…I thought that guy was cool.

Throw “4chan raids on twitch” into a search if you are bored and in need of laughter. Join up, but after my first, EPIC “Ramoning” of a creepy cosplay guy to entertain the 4channers, 9gaggers, myself and make they annoying anime guy lose his mind…I’m suspended for 24 hours. Next time I’ll record so I can resurrect “Steve from Yellowstone” I wish I’d been recording the livestream. I honestly think Jim and Op wouldve given me an atta boy. Last nights raid on The guest host of Black Ops 3 was beyond epic. Caution; cringe-humor is not for everyone. The running gag was “Bush did 9/11” simply because it made the host lose his mind. Full-blown mental breakdown on camera. Never realized we had FULL CONTROL of his livestream and that none of the donations were real.

Infotainment you won’t hear anywhere else dear reader: The SoCal Picayune.

Entertainment news, new arrangements + Featured Image by a dear reader….

I’ll let this one speak for itself.

Killing In The Name of RHYTHM arr. Tapper by Tapper7

The featured pic is an enhanced sigpic/Avatar from my self-aggrandizing Facebook page. It is by a treasured reader so I cannot reveal her name, however I await an opportunity to “tap” her back, online in-person or both, so until that time I said I would feature this in The Socal Picayine and so I am. Hence I categorized this under “Plug Love” though I’m unsure what to plug or how at present. The artist took The cropped off #NSFW message at the bottom of this t-shirt was surreptitiously moved it to the top, embedded it carefully and REPOSTED the finished work to my FB Timeline.That took punk-rock historical knowledge, meticulous graphic design and a strange affinity for this writer in order for it to happen. As a massive attention wh— I expressly approve and say thankya.

I hope a few FB friends were offended, but I choose/revise them carefully so I kinda doubt that. “We” appreciate it, “We” love it and “We” think you have a nice blend of intelligence, humor and beauty….she knows who she is.

*Breaking News* Proving my mid-to-late 90s nostalgia is NOT misplaced, SQUARE ENIX (fmrly SquareSoft) announced that it will REMAKE Final Fantasy VII —- a complete reboot! Here is the unveiling (hey cheer up about the death of Jon Snow and be happy about something you negative Nancies….)

Thus, For my next small ensemble arrangement…”Aerith’s Theme” aka “Flowers Blooming in the Church”

I'll reboot the music while SQUARE reboots this EPIC RPG.
I’ll reboot the music while SQUARE reboots this EPIC RPG.
More pics to stir your sense of teenage wonder:
Tifa look to the starry night....
Tifa look to the starry night….
Midgar....2015!
Midgar….2015!
Cloud escapes Mako Reactor, snapped from the original.
Cloud escapes Mako Reactor, snapped from the original.

On top of all that…who the fuck said the movie industry is dead? At long last the greatest story of all time (2nd, behind Cerebus) The Dark Tower, by Stephen KIng, has been optioned for a major motion picture! Woot! It sure is lame that this is all I have to get excited about the future…but ill take it. I’m all good and yes, IT’S all good.

Who “Taps them?” I Tap Them. Who knows? You KNOW!

Post dedication: Doug, Ray, Jen, Glen, Sophia, Arianna, Rich, Dominique, Tony, Michele, MaryJane and whomever I left out: Rest In Peace I remember and love all of you guys – I always will.