Testing WP 4.7.4

a recursive forest snap 1

When you sneak away to your favorite site, do you have any idea what happens when, say, you googled “Cal Poly” and my site cane up? Here’s a primer; and it helps us test that the update can at least, …. well…. update. Most of the info contained herein will only be useful if you find yourself on Jeopardy, or @Who wants to (whatever)”….maybe even not then, but you will learn, possibly be entertained and hey, we still have unsolved murders in SLO. Anyway before I get all deep and sad like. Data regarding your sites, the tools, the useless info, th tasteless jokes, the usual. You ordered it!

A spreadsheet I hope is readable
JavaScript
What is it? An object-oriented scripting language. Event-driven, loosely based on Java.
It is functional and imperative to the Interwebz.
Who created it?
Brendan Eich designed it for Netscape in 1995. Volunteers at mozilla.org, other sites and individuals have since expanded the language
What languages was it inspired by?
Java (duh), C, Perl,Lua, Scheme, Python, AWK too many to list.
What languages credit it for inspiration?
ActionScript (Adobe), JScript (Sun nee Oracle), CoffeeScript, Perl 6, .NET, Objective-J (that’s not a typo) QML, again too many to list.
Why is it so popular?
Netscape marketing cleverly piggy backed on the name of the right
Web language (Java, a fully functional language that runs servers, cars, street lights, toasters, you name it. >3 billion pieces of crap made in China run Java) *also*
It allowed for Dynamic Hypertext Markup….see how your FB feed and likes pop up likes and posts w/o
refreshing the page? Yeah, they invented that 20 years ago in Mountain View.
Also, without getting too technical, it runs on YOUR device, making it faster.
What about MariaDB? I know about MySQL and Google’s Big Data, but….(?)
From en.wikipedia.org “MariaDB is a community-developed fork of the MySQL relational database management system intended to remain free under the GNU GPL. Development is led by some of the original developers of MySQL, who forked it due to concerns over its acquisition by Oracle.Contributors are required to share their copyright with the MariaDB Foundation.” I paraphrased out some of the detritus. Tech Geeks it’s on GitHub.
What the heck is Hack? Keeping it simple, a scripting language ready-made-to-order for PHP 5 and Facebook…. also you cannot define local variables (if that makes no sense to you it’s cool just move on….)
Go? It’s from the wizard programmers at Google. A language and two compilers. They’re trying to keep all the good things about c/c++/Java and improve the rest. It makes BitCoin transactions faster, nuff said?
Erlang? A language you’ll likely never deal with unless you work at a server farm. Users clutter up intranets and networks, Erlang is a good janitor. Programmers can hot swap data; changing stuff without crashing Outlook. It’s made for real time systems (like when NASA tries to safely land a Mars rover, or when a million people try to watch the Game of Thrones preview at once). You don’t need to how…. that’s pretty much graduate level compsci and anything past the fundamentals are way past the scope of this clip.
Voldemort(????) a distributed data store that holds key values (IDs) from the good folks at LinkedIn for high-scalability. Yeah…. they named it after a Harry Potter character.
That’s all for now dudes and dude-ettes. *Phew* I did this whole post on an iPhone.

New equipment = fresh content on the way ….

Did you know that my previous laptop forced the use of “sticky keys” (that’s where u hit SHIFT 5x to let the CPU KNOW THE NEXT CHARACTER IS Upper-case. You may noticed I got lazy sometimes and skipped capitalization outright to get posts done. The HP 15 is a great budget laptop but it’s made from cheapy…err..especially cheapy Chinese materials. Not that my new iPad Pro is made from much better, but it is brand spankin new….and the prevailing reason to get it was to develop my graphic art skills using what is now called a “pen”
I made this new weak prototypic site logo in just under 20 minutes using a free download from Adobe. We reverted to the basic CSS so forgive me if the site looks half-assed. This new bit of hardware will have it back up to full-ass in no time.

In all fairness to the #OCSD …..

sandra and company, i added text parodying an ad for old fox cops tv show, saying you can watch them fuk up live every morning on fox..also "eat a dick"

Doung be not gone ….much to this ol’crime reporter’s surprise, he DID hole up in the Little Saigon portion of OC. Due to the heavy coverage (this story has everything that makes an editors mouth water; max-security prison-break, foreign-nationals, forieNERS, illegal aliens, drugs (even though only weed), Kubrick-caliber violence (& sex if you believe the ESL teacher who is a solid 7….was f-ing “the hot one” as Shannon (Gary Hoffman’s hole on KFI) calls him…shining a light on a bureaucracy, society, culture and jail would just assume you fk off. The Orange Curtain is a real thing* anyway due to heavy media coverage, a white van was spotted near the Bay Area….and the concerneed citizen called the po-po. Two of the three were living out of it, were arrested w/o notable incident and since returned to the dungeon we lovingly call CJX.
as for Duong, he smelled the pinch and gave himself up (got more plans up his sleeve? maybe he had time to get blueprint tatted on…like in that show you all watched…) Lit a ciggy, waited for the Cavalry and lie prone; face down as nervous-nelly sheriff’s deputies prayed it wasnt a trap.
This reporter made predictions and was wrong; so let me clear up the scenario I gamed out and what was incorrect.

correction

  1. Doung never left the county, state or country (or continent)
  2. his buddies went NORTH; this writer predicted SOUTH
  3. all three men are in custody                                                                                                                                                                                what did I get right?
  1. distance – I predicted a 1000 mile radius from 500 n. flower. downtown SF is a solid six-hundo from the OC MAIN proper, so I call “closies enoughsies”
  2. NO ONE in OC talked to law enforcement (of their own volition; that i know of)
  3. OCSD reacted in the only way they know how following a hail Mary – arrest Vietnamese unscrupulously
  4. it is alreday unclear if/how/how much the reward $ will be dispersed
  5. coverage was big, but waning and sparse; ocsd lucked out big
  6. *unwanted attn. was drawn to CJX, OCSD, OCDA, OC Media
  7. *the story highlighted all that is wrong where local time = 2/7/1956

I’m way overdue to hash out the social, racial, cultural, financial fucked-up-ed-ness in the place I grew up in and live now….the stuff listed in the OP ..I will get to all that (Vietnam, Vietnamese Refugees, the Vietnamese People [they are commendable in every category]…WHY orange county is polarized from progressive neighbors Los Angeles and San Diego…and other learn-something-new-everyday tidbits I have for you about my sometimes home!
This may be the most poorly researched new/op-ed ever, but piling on this story is overdue…so consider that this post is a WIP and that more posts on-topic are coming down the pike …albeit at a modest speed.
From listening to KFI while awake enough to drive [for all intents & purposes] I gathered that something went wrong somewhere along the way for Duong, the towel-wrapper and “the hot one”….

somewhere along the way they jacked a cab…and the cabbie

problems arose when one of the alleged escapees took issue with “what to do about the cabbie.” -now- dear reader, I’m not a violent guy, you [hopefully] aren’t either, but let’s game out this speedbump, with the goal = “get away clean and don’t get caught”
First, carjacking is a bad idea unless it was hard-wired into the initial escape design.
ASSUME it was. –> that means IF (Cabbie sees any of their faces) THEN (Probability of escape drops to nil)
WHY NIL? THEY were on every channel, news website and paper for a week. It’s reasonable to assume that the cabbie will not only dial 911, he will say “it’s them, the three guys from the jail-break.” that’s game over. not an option…..considering.
THEREFORE we must backup and play this as we would our next chess move….or in comparative probabilistic gaming, whether or not to hit an 11 in blackjack. SAD, cold-hearted, but choice = obvious. as they say in St LOUIS; the only thing left to do with the Cabbie is “La-la” [that’s ebonics for what they call a “double-tap”] “La” kills about 90 percent of it’s victims at close-range… “-la” takes care of the outliers. SO – w/ the above assumptions, the decison to whack the cabbie isn’t really a decision – no more going all-in w/ a flush is a “decision” ..it bums me out and I’d be agreeing w/ the alleged others w/ heavy heart, but this was a no-brainer.
There are worse things than “la-la” – nutsack in mouth + blowtorch x left to die in the 909, for one.
Apparently, the escape fell apart when one of the alleged decided he didn’t want to “La-la” the cabbie. Events subsequent to this disagreement seem to be why the trio became a solo act w/ a duo headlining in The Castro…why Doung eventually turned in his dong peacefully and why the Iranian/Vietnamese duo act wasn’t a hit in SanFran…where the Denver Broncos & The Carolina Panthers are battling it out as I write. (mille pardons, I bet $4 on two punnit squares) other than that idc who wins…Peyton Manning is amazing, but still he will always sound like a cornfed retard to me.

I intend to record a new tapcast soon. We updated to WP 4.???? so ive already torn up and rewrote a great deal of php….once again…design is a wip. the main page’s header and footer(dot-php) are essentuially donesky. -tap

PS – new friend site – The Corpsman Geek, from friend/associate Kevin Gamin. Scope it out. K’ has/had a big hand in DCP, so if you enjoy or enjoyed that site; obviously his new sites subject matter is right up your … uh … alley!

advertising supports this site…see below and find out how much Google’s been spying on you—-


Another full redesign is in-process *Caution* Man working ….

I’ve decided to strip down the style and design of the site again. I’ve only just now (after a week on & off) felt satisfied with the new albeit temporary…presentation of this particular node on the Web.
I’ve written a heavy amount of PHP and CSS again, though they are not technically “programming languages” per se, they ARE subject to almost as many quirky dependencies, rules unique unto themselves; which are inviolable and require extensive research and testing to deploy. Hopefully you will find the site a bit more pleasing to the eye, faster, more secure, more responsive and easier to navigate.
In the meantime it is only fair to announce that we are officially “under construction,” so if you see something strange over the next few days, that’s my fault…. I’ve tested about half the “use cases” (things you might do, read, watch, listen to, click on or use in some form or another). Earlier today, the music uploaded to the private section of the site and the archived prototype podcasts vanished, they were unplayable due to bad PHP writing on my part.
I’m 90 percent sure you can watch all videos, listen to all music, podcasts, read all posts, view all artwork/snaphots/pix, read my stories, search the site, click on links and find the content you are looking for easily, quickly and regardless of device, OS, browser, ISP and service type (4g, 3g, WiFi, Ethernet, Cable, DSL …..). Before I drift off tonite, You can be certain that all of the “common use cases” are functional and that within a week, the lesser-used functions (commenting, guest-posting, all sidebar tools) work exactly as you’d expect them to.
Still on the to-do list is MORE formatting and design of the 2015 style and theme…. an audit of all media on the site (delete unused pictures, audio, video, dead links and raw text-data) an audit of all advertisers being served via Google AdWords to ensure compliance with our ethics and MY morals plus an audit of page-load speed. This will include a further dress-down and rewrite of JS, CSS, HTML and PHP. *Phew*
Thank you for hanging with me throughout your tenure as a reader! I’m working on some devastatingly interesting podcasts, stories, news, editorials….and maybe even a decent joke. No promises about bringing the funny, but you KNOW I always try!
For those about to waste time on the Web at The SoCal Picayune (or whatever sites you’d rather NOT acknowledge… “WE SA-LOOOOOT YOU!!!!!!!!!” -Ed

In the meantime, for testing and shameless promotion why not check out one of my soon-to-be-audited, yet generous sponsors? If the redesign is going well, an advertisement will display below, if you visit them, you help to support the site and me personally a great deal–no obligation to do so, or even to LOOK at one of my ads. As part of a long-term promise, there is nothing for sale on this site, so when I hint-hint-wink-wink-wink-nudge-nudge ask you to check out a sponsor I am NOT endorsing their product or suggesting that you spend a penny. A few seconds of your time however…I must confess, I do suggest as an easy way to support those who keep the site running, the hardware it runs on and the crazy publisher that does WAY more work on it than he should. *Ahem* wink-wink-nudge-nudge -From the Publisher’s desk with love, C “T” W


MuseScore https redirect error …. fixed ….

I’ve been using an open-source program called MuseScore to compose and arrange music for about two months. It is free and THAT attracted me since the closest answer to writing and testing music (without a large group of expert instrumentalists) is to purchase Adobe Audition…which goes for ~$300. I’ve been using the software extensively…they recently upgraded from v1.3 to v2 (and now 2.0.2) which shows improvements but is still loaded with bugs. My arrangement of “Adagio for Strings” was ready for publication three weeks ago but something went wrong when I uploaded it…playback of the Lead Soprano part was off — the whole thing sounded awful, so…glad that I decided to test it 3x + 3 ways before promoting it on FB or LinkedIn, I pulled the file off their servers. My attempt to repair the file led to the file ITSELF becoming corrupted – leaving over 48 hours of careful, creative, technical work in shambles.

Recently I repaired “Adagio” to the point that I’m happy to upload it to MuseScore’s server even though the harmonies from subito piano to the end still need work. To do this, I had to decide which score to pull. The company limits users to five scores total ….after that a “pro” ($) account is required, so I pulled Aerith’s Theme aka “Flowers Blooming in the Church.”

A few days ago I encouraged a potential client to “check out my Web site” to see what I’m capable of in terms of design, content creation…all that good stuff…..so I ping my site for first time in about a week…the main page loads slowly (as it usually does) but this time it redirects to my logged-out musescore account and notifies the reader that “the requested page is not available.”

Looked all over for a solution -no dice. It only just occurred to me that by yanking “Flowers” I’d inadvertently forced the main page of this site to try to embed a score that doesn’t exist (not on the server my page is making a call to). Instead of posting a dead link it kills the whole page and makes this writer seem less than competent when trying to advertise alleged “IT skills.”

This was an example of KISS. Simple problem had a simple solution ….there was no need to FTP in the back door or comb-over PHP code…it was a matter deleting a dead link in “edit post” mode which a child is completely capable of.

I apologize if this site crapped out on you over the past few days.

Mea Culpa. Lo Siento.

As a test, let’s embed “Adagio” ….which I don’t expect to tear down anytime soon. So far, reviews included “Not Bad,” and “I like it.”Adagio for Strings v3 arr. Tapper by Tapper7

WP should have PHP avail in the codex to automatically clear or notify the admin of dead links & or impossible calls to embeds that no longer exist. Meh….’till then I’ll just avoid making the same mistake. For your benefit I ran four external audits of this Web site including one by a close associate to insure that a) it works b) the redirect is gone c) the site is SAFE (malware/adware/spyware free) —-know that it was MY ERROR and not the security of this site.

To end on a positive note – this site remains spam free for nearly nine months and has NEVER been compromised since it’s inception.
-t

XML test v7 – Override all PHP, CSS and .js | populate a WP page with custom XML. Success!

click here to view an outline in XML format. PHP 5 offers an @Override for all plugins and theme/css hard-wired to every WP install. It generates a blank pallete with a few simple commands (in PHP) that disable all my adds, stylesheets “background shit” that WP infrastructure. WP is great but if I cannot post a simple outline for instructional purposes, what good is it? Most plugins are incompatible with WP v4.2. This will come up as clickable link, I have yet to decipher a system to embedd pure XML into a post or page manually…if you click on this link you will see that code I wrote does just that…just not on THIS page. So I’m zeroin in on a solution to override all Javascript, PHP, CSS and whatver else is in the backbone of WP in order to display custom XML pages (and html, shtml….) w/o getting tied into the complexity of all my ads and style, media, calls to YT databases and other multimedia content that loads on the main page. Ideally this Copy Editing 101 tutorial should load in <1second. On avg. it take 6-9 second to load the main site.

The other goal is to post code or pictures of say…an educational outline by coding as opposed to taking a snapshot of the XML, saving it as a jpeg and posting it here as picture. That is functional workaround, but I don’t like it.

An allegedly properly-configured XML file for iTunes Podcasting….

version 3 of the image file created for iTunes/Apple 'requirements'

Ok, Here we go (at present I care more about getting Apple to publish the two test episodes I made than getting anyone to listen) First, the tech; then I’ll try to bring the funny. If it works, I’m technically “ON THE AIR” again so let’s do this yo! Less typy more talkyrssfeedxml
The above XML was generated in WordPress v4.2.2 on 5/31/15 by Chris Welke @Self-Similarity Studios and Tapper7.com, Los Angeles, CA. It is provided for informational purposes and this writer hopes it will assist others in the needlessly convoluted world of podcasts.
Third-party compliance validation :

RSS feed i/o  test. CHECK! Kids.... Always perform QA/QC compliance testing on anything made for public consumption
RSS feed i/o test. CHECK! Kids….
Always perform QA/QC compliance testing on anything made for public consumption

Stitcher Test

Youtube and WordPress (hopefully) breathes new life into dying art form…

Around the turn of the millennium a new technology for animation was born: Flash. With it, an animator needn’t “a sweatshop in Korea with 50 animators working 24/7 at gunpoint ….and chickens running around”—said Mike Reiss, 26-year veteran producer of “The Simpsons”—Reiss is a four-time Emmy-winning producer, He wrote for Johnny Carson and Conan O’Brien in addition to a creator credit for “The Critic,” and scores of children’s novels – notably How Murray Saved Christmas, which NBC/Universal turned into a movie that aired Christmas Day last year to rousing reviews and accolades.

Flash can be programmed to do a great deal of the animation itself; a golden age of mature-themed animation made it’s way to the Web via Newgrounds and later Icebox. Icebox went defunct for a spell; they are back up though! With the advent of YouTube, animation host Newgrounds faded into the background as well. On the NEW Icebox, there exists ZERO NEW content, but all the CLASSIC animated series are is posted to an AWFUL WordPress blog (worse than mine) and the vids are hosted on YT-natch. It’s rough-around the edges but a whole lot better than nothing. Brilliant, hysterical, edgy and outrageously talented creations are resurrected…thanks to increasingly inexpensive Web-hosting.
This is a common model for modern publishing (I use it myself)…

WP engine: cheap…embedding video through YouTube – free.

Now all the fantastic episodes of SEVERAL brilliant “webtoons” are avail. It’s weird …. the episodes have so few views…Some episodes of “Superhero Roommate” featuring Brian Posehn…one of my all-time favorite comedians…has barely 200 views since uploading *ahem*
*scratch that…* “Leftovers part 1,” up for two years, has just over 100 views- I’d like to help him change that:

The surge of creative possibilities attracted a flood of heavy-hitter producers, writers, musicians and other artists. They were captivated by the ease of animating and the uncensored freedom offered by the InterWebz. In an eerily self-prophesying episode, Larry David piled on for a new series called “The Paula Principle” David creates a senator who’s just been nominated for president, he laments, self-deprecates and yells at his manager in classic LD-style, noting that he’s a complete hack, unqualified, in over his head…too stupid to do the job. Sadly…it was the only episode ever made. If I ever meet him, I will ask what would’ve happened to the “Complete Idiot” Senator, written an voiced by David himself and VERY MUCH a prequel to the style he would use on “Curb.” :

Only 290 views! How many times do you think “The Soup Nazi” episode of Seinfeld has been watched? I’ve seen it…3x? Would it be safe to say over a billion considering the syndication and DVD sets…and the fans who watch favorite episodes over and over again?
Another favorite of mine that has been brought back to life is “Mr. Wong” by Pam Brady. Mr. Wong is a SEVERE asian stereotype, his boss abuses him w/o mercy…and he gets involved with opiates, binge-drinking, hallucinations and “accidently” turns gay in this masterful series. The production value is top-notch. The main-theme played on the harpsichord at whiplash speeds in later episodes is a nod to how many heavy-hitting artists/musicians Flash technology attracted, here is episode 1, “Urine Trouble,” :

As you can see, this series was so good it was picked up by Mondo in 2009 and has nearly a quarter-million views since then. I assure you, episode 1 previously had well-over a million views through Newgrounds and the old version of Icebox.
Another series that enjoyed commercial success was “Queer Duck,” written by Mike Reiss, voiced by top-of-the-food-chain V/O KING Billy West (he was/is Ren & Stimpy amoung countless others on nearly every successful animated series/movie EVER – The Simpsons, Futurama…you name it). Rupaul joined up to write a SWINGIN ‘intro and outro that he sang masterfully. The gay jokes are hysterical, Reiss branched off from  The Simpsons as he was growing sick of the media’s portrayal of homosexuals, though he is not HIMSELF gay…at all..he’s Jewish, like me…and we have a tendency to come to the aid of oppressed groups; particularly those known to have an artistic gift (women, blacks and gays!) by promoting them…and taking our cut (Naturally…) Here’s episode two; I first watched when Reiss gave a seminar at Cal Poly, I interviewed him for the Daily and I asked him to show me the most offensive episode he had in the can so far. This was what he showed me….btw did I mention all the content is #NSFW? …I didn’t? Ok….well… it’s not…if you haven’t been fired yet let’s move on…sorry about that.

Yes..this series was so good it was picked up by Showtime.
He also created “Hard-Drinkin’ Lincoln,” which is self-explanatory. It’s about Honest Abe as an honestly s__t-faced, hardcore alcoholic, hijinks ensue and he usually gets shot at the end of every episode, making J.W. Booth a hero. It’s February, so here ya’ go….Reiss’ “Black History Month” tribute:

Speaking of purposely-offensive cringe-humor, great music and “period pieces,” “Meet The Millers” is one of my all-time favs…written by David Zuckerman. Dan Castelleneta (Homer S.) does V/O and Frank Sinatra Jr. wrote/sang the theme. It takes place in a xenophobic, commie-fearing, HEAVILY racist/anti-semitic suburb of Washington D.C.  in the 1950s. The father, an FBI agent, uses intimidation, fear-tactics, physical abuse and societal ills to his HILARIOUS advantage, which …naturally, he teaches to his children (when he’s not beating them of course)…Due to the Jennifer Aniston flick of same name, a normal web-query BURIES this great series deep down the list, even if you qualify the search for videos-only. I’ll plumb the depths of Youtube to find you an especially offensive/hysterical episode for ya, dear reader:

The dead-serious-severity in the voice of the older brother as he warns his black friend not to touch his sister and the BLAST against the French is daring and thought-provoking social satire…especially the ironic use of a laugh track when the jokes are at their most brutal not even 500 views yet.!…and now you know why the French kiss you twice!
So Icebox is BACK UP…someone setup a WP blog and assigned each series to a category. There are many more excellent series-es…es(????)….. I personally recommend “Starship Regulars,” I’m fairly certain it’s safe for work, it was initially scripted for network TV…”s__t” and “f__k” are substituted with futuristic terms, so it works. This one probably has the highest production value of them all. It’s a bummer there are so few episodes. I’m not a Trekkie by any stretch ..nor do I get too excited about Star Wars…sorry to burst your bubble if you thought I did. Remember: I’m a geek…. not a nerd; HUGE DIFFERENCE. I would’ve been all about this show had a major network bitten down on this…but, no dice: (Showtime did-yet it had a pitifully short run their Web site)

NOT EVEN A THOUSAND VIEWS!!! This is some of the greatest multimedia artwork ever created…and no one knows about it!
Even the new Icebox website is presented in carelessly written CSS…the videos out-span column-one, the new site is messy-carelessly slapped together-glad it’s there but sad to see it in such shabby condition. I present these on my site to promote the genius of their work…and to tidy up the FORMAT in which it is presented– Heroes of mine like Larry David and Mike Reiss (I STILL can’t believe I got to meet…even kick it w/ that guy in college…) THEY DESERVE BETTER. So I’m giving it to them. Check out some funny s— you’ve never seen or heard of before! None of my artist/writer/musician readers will be disappointed. This is Tapper-approved multimedia content we’re talkin’ about here!
My interview with Reiss was placed in the can at the Mistake Daily, so I have no access to it, but I’m in the process of extracting data off another old drive…I’m hoping it’s in there. I placed an order through an IT friend/associate, it took him a while to find the li’l gadget, there’s an issue with reading data off old IDE hard drives (obviously) plus I spent a little extra on a component that will interpret the data and send it out via USB 2.0, PLUS it fits in a case to protect the drive from electromagnetism. I don’t want to extract it from my old win95 box (ca. 1998) till it comes in….for all I know my cell phone …or a WiFi signal could fry it –frequency-modulation and EM are NOT on my list of expertise. All told it should work just like a thumb-drive –though it needs it’s own dedicated power supply, again, to protect it from getting sharked or de-magnetized. I’m srsly excited to get into my personal treasure-trove of writing, music and C++ code from my Cal Poly Dorm Days! This is from a tech-era when UNIX, C++/STL, Ethernet, Quake II, FTP, ICQ, IRC, Sun Microsystems, SPARC Solaris, Silicon Graphics (SGI) and Worms: Armageddon ruled the day! Facebook, Twitter, Google, Napster, .NET, even MYSPACE(!!!) weren’t even fully-formed IDEAS yet. It’s only 16 years ago, but that’s millenia in cyberspace-time. No one even says “cyberspace” anymore…see how dated it all is? In 1998, it would be six years until I finally caved-in and became the last man in America and got a cell-phone! One thing hasn’t changed…Microsoft still sucks.

Big-time fun to come…much of it (the interesting or historically-significant it’s) I will publish here.

So…..Is there any truth to the rumor that Springfield, ??…WAS IN FACT based on San Luis Obispo? I put that question to Reiss. Stay tuned…dear reader, stay tuned. []

Thanks for stopping by and please…many of you are spending too much time on my site. Did I mention that in the privacy policy? If not…Google reports “Sessions” to me….their clients are obsessed with it…how long you stay…only because they need to know how big of an “impression” my sponsored links made on you – so they report it to me daily. As for whom and how long? Per my privacy policy I cannot say, but some of you- TOO LONG, so again…get back to work, k? I don’t want to get anyone in trouble. -T.

How to Anonymize your WordPress site and theme….

It's a bit neefy

Ok, so you’ve got a theme going, right? At the bottom it says something like this:
Copyright 2015; SomeStupidTheme.com * WordPress.com …etc…it’s YOUR Web site, why should anyone else get to brand it? It makes you seem amateurish to webdevs and potential clients, or a client that HAS one will say:

“This site sucks, it actually SAYS WordPress at the bottom.”

…if you have a legit site like this one, there is absolutely no reason to have this self-congratulating backlinking crud on the site that YOU PAY FOR, CREATE ALL THE CONTENT AND DO ALL THE DESIGN…

    ***Delete it safely with this example***

  • Goto Appearance >> Editor
  • Open footer.php (it is almost assuredly called this)
  • Make a backup of it locally, if you f-up the PHP, your site’ll crash
  • If it does, just ftp in the backdoor and swap out footer.php w/ the orig. copy
  • Delete the PHP that’s spitting out the Stupid.com*WP.com/.org junk
  • Update file
  • Visit Site (Test it!)
  • Laugh <—–CRITICAL!
  • Enjoy YOUR site: YOU.com, not YOU.com “Powered by WordPress”- that’s lame

Some themes automatically anonymize the WP stinger. My previous theme was called “Big City” at the bottom of any pg. it said Copyright 2014, Tapper7.com, then a logo of a cube (like the Netbeans logo). It was a 2013-theme and had past my patience with how poorly formatted all my images and embedded content had deprecated to, so I flushed it and started it back up….
– New Year – NEW/Stripped-down THEME, NEW CSS- the stylesheet is a WIP. 
If you simply follow the logic of the script, find the part of the script that is yanking out the junk you don’t want, be careful not to accidently delete the things you DO WANT and delete it! For instance, my footer.php file spits out an advert, a list of other pages I have and a calender. IT USED TO have a footer to the footer, that said:
By AnnoyingSelfAggrandizingBacklinkingBS.com * WordPress.org/com(somethinglikethat).
….NOT ANYMORE!! Lulz.
For this particular theme, I began by ignoring the warning to NOT MODIFY ANY PHP.
First off PHP is not even a programming language, it is a script that is easy to read and object-oriented so the code-writer is trying to scare you into thinking he is so much smarter than you, that if you touch his precious PHP, your site will explode. This is actually true if you make a mistake at this, again…backup whatever files you intend to change on your hard drive. Learn how to FTP into your site and FIX IT YOURSELF if it crashes. The only other option is to pay someone to do it for you, but Tapper7.com is always of the opinion that you should never pay for something you can do/make yourself or learn how easily. Information is free.

I started by trying to “Comment Out” the offending PHP, which looked appx like this:
***Note all “<>” are replaced with “[]” so the site does not get confused about what’s real code and what isn’t… the code markup tag does not seem to be entirely functional at present. *sigh* MORE PROBLEMS, regardless:

/* Comment OUT:
[footer class="site-info" itemtype="http://......./WPFooter" itemscope="itemscope" role="contentinfo"] [div class="inside-site-info grid-container grid-parent"] [?php do_action( 'generate_credits' ); ?] [/div] [/footer]
[?php do_action( 'generate_after_footer_content' ); ?] End Comment Out-->*/

I’d forgotten that commenting out HTML (when combined with PHP) merely adds a visible “//” or “/**/” to the offending crud I’m trying to eliminate. Yeechhhhhhh!!
Look at the above code. All I had to do was DELETE what you see above. Update the file (which will quickly recompile your site) and “Visit” it for QA …and Kakooooooosh….bye bye offending crud that does not belong on YourWebSite.com.
This is my site and I decide what goes on it, not ANYONE ELSE. PERIOD.
My advice is that you take the same pride in your work and anonymize all that footer-junk. You do all the work. YOU take all the credit. Feel free to contact me if something annoying is stuck on your site and you cannot figure out how to safely dispose of it. Btw, if you have NOT crashed your site by making a PHP syntax mistake, I recommend that you learn how to get it back online if you or some jerk who works for you DOES. If you have a business – knowing how to do this “your own damn self” and not worrying or waiting on some IT loser to call you back or show up or fix it for you …is INVALUABLE. I’ll provide an FTP tutorial at a later date and screenshots if there is interest in this particular how-to.

Now forget that my site is WP, ok…? Wink-wink, dear reader! Tapper7.com…powered by Tapper…and OCD. NOTHING ELSE. My partner in interwebz content shenanigans, Kevin Gamin also reports the useful consistency and w3c compliance of WordPress. SEO is mostly scam bulls—…anyone claiming to “know how the GS algorithm works” and promising traffic/hits/growth and improved Google Search scores is LYING. We have a reverse-engineered framework for HOW/WHAT & WHY when it comes to propping up your “Google Score” but current employees legally cannot disclose src for BigData – duh! Fmr. emplyees sign the standarn non-disclosure agreement; which is in itself OBS because the GS algorithmm is updated constantly. WordPress really does provide LEGIT “SEO” (*sigh* I despise the acronym and the consters it attracts) – simply by creating original content, organized on a Google and w3-compliant design. WordPress sites do in fact grow naturally. Luck would have it GS (as it stand today) “likes it”

Ex: you are a gardener – buy www.imagardener.— and start blogging about your garden. Keep it up and soon your site will start appearing on pg 1 of a GS return for strings like “rose gardens” , “clippings” , “fertilizer” …u get the idea. If you’re like me and want to career++; legitimacy++; then WP is the way to go, writing about what you love is the simple key to a big-time GSR presence. Then comes readers, fans, contacts, sponsorships, support, contract jobs and after six months of professional care and diligent/RICH content – Google MIGHT legitimize your site by approving an Adsense Partnership (That is; if they are still accepting new affiliates–when I applied, I was told that they were not approving ANYONE and that a massive audit of me, my background, my credentials, my media ethics and media-law scruples would be thoroughly audited by a mysterious algorithm AND at least one human auditor. All Google Forums on Adsense overload with “Why won’t they approve me?” I was told the audit would take three weeks. Three DAYS later, they congratulated me and accepted me into their evil cabal.

I credit strict media ethics, the original content I provide, w3 and IEEE std compliance, working-prof-knowledge of Mass Media Law and Evil for my quick “Holy Stamp of Approval” for my fledgling site. I post those carefully partitioned/formatted/self-audited/qa’d ads in a minimalist way that adheres to the SPJ Code of Ethics – it is more about the badge of honor than the meager $ I get. I can show you how to do all this and then some.
Despite my twice upgraded GoogleAnalytics.js accout; I can only rvw data for 90 day periods, but we are popping 100,000 hits every quarter now and my core readrship of 3,000 is loyal and I am humbled and grateful for them most of….also Media Temple who sponsors my creative works by giving me a website with all the bells and whistles; they even gave me the keys to pHpMyadmin AND FTP access so i can deal with backend issues on my own. My cousin and I created a comment-spam killer that took us from 10,000/day to ZERO last September.
Readers – as always – information is free @Tapper7.com – send questions and hate-mail to chris@tapper7.com if you’d like to send your site into orbit. I don’t even have anything for sale; which I’m certain endears me to the blog-reading public; there are no pop-ups, mySQL node is Kittner-Redoubt safe and spammers don’t spam – not no mo’!
My site is just for creative purposes; nothing is for sale. The implication being – if I can create a popular music/art/tech/humor blog in such an unexpectedly successful fashion. I look forward to the next small or mid-size business to sink my teeth into. If it’s exposure, Google rank, Google legitimacy, online reputation and unique digital MKTG —- hit me up. My methodology (Organically-Optimized Marketing) is proven.
As for content; if you think I published a lot this past year; for every 1,000 words posted, there are 10,000 sitting in my docs folder. I’m including rich multimedia into my posts now as well.
OWN your site. WP rocks, but it is just code….YOU build it, YOU market it, YOU deal w/ all the BS. Give credit where it is due as always, but YOUR Web site is brought to the interwebz by YOU, not WordPress.com, not GoDaddy and certainly not the guy who wrote your theme and warned you “not to mess w/ it” …like he’s some code-guru. Repeating myself I know but —CSS and PHP are NOT PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES …these dudes would mess themselves if they had to program in C++ or Java.
To sum – if you are building up a site – for whatver purpose – DO NOT HIRE a “WP Developer” or God-forbid an “SEO-Specialist” SCAM SCAM SCAMMY SCAM SCAM. I’ll help you for free and show you how easy it is so you can do it yourself. The kind words, references, respect and free beer are MORE THAN ENOUGH.
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Tapcast Prototype….

Tapper's new podcast logo prototype
Vector graphic created using Apache Open Office Draw

So WP auto-configs the RSS syndication…still more research to do regarding the PHP code …I’m holding off on adding the iTunes URL to the /rss.php file until I know what it DOES or if I’m missing anything or adding the wrong thing…one syntax error on your PHP scripts and it tears the whole f—ing site down (you must confirm the PHP will echo the correct XML file that can be crawled by iTunes’ particular feedreader. This will take some time to figure out, I’ll publish an appropriate how-to once it’s dialed in)…so for now…it’s 1995, hop in the Chevelle with me and let’s blast some rare 90’s tracks…just a test…future episodes will feature more original content…this is mainly music…very little of my stupid voice. If you were alive in the 90s…you’ll enjoy the punk, ska, brass and drum corps I threw together.
technical specs (all open source):
Runtime environment and Developer kit:
feed-rss2.php edit and testing in Netbeans v8.0.2 IDE (JRE 1.8 & JDK v8u25)
Sun Microsystems …uh….I mean “ORACLE”…. yeah….
Audio:
Audacity v2.0
FFmpeg_win v2.2.2
libmp3lame-v3.98.2
Vector Graphics:
Apache OOv4.1.1 -app: Draw
Artists featured:
The Cincinnati Pops Orchestra
The Toasters
Rancid
Social Distortion

Social DIstortion
Drum Corps????? you’ll just have to give ‘er a listen to see which closer I picked to cap this cavalcade of music goodness. Oh! and happy New Year.