Style and Code is under construction + Advertiser Audit is in process….

please note that this site may look strange until I have time to tear up the code and test it. in the short-term we wanted all multimedia files to be accessible; in my efforts to customize the footer.php file, the site became deprecated and robbed me of my ability to post certain content, especially music. I noted a bit of renewed interest in the 2007 Kingsmen Alumni Corps, of which I recently located a rare recording, so I cut up “Mambo” (feat. my boys Phil Norris on Soprano and Carl Allison on Baritone). I’ve sacrificed “pretty-looking-and-the-way-I-like-it” for “It works.”—–cant be posting links to music that you cannot see, click or listen too! in the meantime plz bear with the weak-sauce styles, colors, frames…all that good stuff I will spruce up asap. In the meantime I banned two questionable advertisers. No offense but if you want to “spread the word of” *ahem* “JeBus” you can do it somewhere else <------not misspelled see "the simpsons go to [some 3rd world country]" We don't want your money. This is a Los Angeles Jewish-controlled-Media site, as it should be. We are slightly left-of-center. To correct speakers at the RNC 2016 we are not atheists, nor do we “worship Lucifer.” We believe in God. we look at it quite differently from all Christians, this does not mean we have anything against any religion, it just means that this site is primarily a news/tech/commentary blog with an emphasis on design, art, music and editorials. It is not a place to hand out church fliers. The web is a big place….ostensibly, please consider 99 percent of the content to be secular in nature. thx -the publisher, Los Angeles, July 2016
*UPDATE* NUCIFIC.COM also banned – reason – asynchronous multimedia ad featured the truncated backside of an overweight woman in a white “bikini” (…..) bottom. It offended my delicate sensibilities and I wonder who would find the mystery product and/or service appealing BASED on the unappetizing image. Sorry but images of big fat asses (not even my own) are as red flag, especially on a site devoted to aesthetically-pleasing images, media, art, design, code, logic, prose …. and music. apologies if you saw that ad.
Four separate Christianity-based advertisers got banned along with “dookie bootie” on 7/21 & 7/22/2016 for poor taste and misalignment with the design and ethical standards of The SoCal Pic

That said hopefully the advert below is appropriate for me, you and all other readers/contributors/supporters of site. contact me at chris.e.welke@gmail.com if you ever see an offensive or questionable advert put BAD AD ON YOUR SITE in subject line–I will review and get back.




New equipment = fresh content on the way ….

Did you know that my previous laptop forced the use of “sticky keys” (that’s where u hit SHIFT 5x to let the CPU KNOW THE NEXT CHARACTER IS Upper-case. You may noticed I got lazy sometimes and skipped capitalization outright to get posts done. The HP 15 is a great budget laptop but it’s made from cheapy…err..especially cheapy Chinese materials. Not that my new iPad Pro is made from much better, but it is brand spankin new….and the prevailing reason to get it was to develop my graphic art skills using what is now called a “pen”
I made this new weak prototypic site logo in just under 20 minutes using a free download from Adobe. We reverted to the basic CSS so forgive me if the site looks half-assed. This new bit of hardware will have it back up to full-ass in no time.

wip – new stylesheet – it look weird it works better …

A pic of songs

soon it will work great.
here in the midi I just developed for drum & bugle corps hornline…
Hornline Etude “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me” by Tapper7
the design will improve asap and another tapcast is in the works.
To be fair – below is an ad you most likely will not click on.
se la vi!



we upgraded WP to….um…I forgot – fixes, hacks, glitches and howto’s will be found here if the update causes more than that basic problems. or leave a comment and ill show u how to fix it. -t

In all fairness to the #OCSD …..

sandra and company, i added text parodying an ad for old fox cops tv show, saying you can watch them fuk up live every morning on fox..also "eat a dick"

Doung be not gone ….much to this ol’crime reporter’s surprise, he DID hole up in the Little Saigon portion of OC. Due to the heavy coverage (this story has everything that makes an editors mouth water; max-security prison-break, foreign-nationals, forieNERS, illegal aliens, drugs (even though only weed), Kubrick-caliber violence (& sex if you believe the ESL teacher who is a solid 7….was f-ing “the hot one” as Shannon (Gary Hoffman’s hole on KFI) calls him…shining a light on a bureaucracy, society, culture and jail would just assume you fk off. The Orange Curtain is a real thing* anyway due to heavy media coverage, a white van was spotted near the Bay Area….and the concerneed citizen called the po-po. Two of the three were living out of it, were arrested w/o notable incident and since returned to the dungeon we lovingly call CJX.
as for Duong, he smelled the pinch and gave himself up (got more plans up his sleeve? maybe he had time to get blueprint tatted on…like in that show you all watched…) Lit a ciggy, waited for the Cavalry and lie prone; face down as nervous-nelly sheriff’s deputies prayed it wasnt a trap.
This reporter made predictions and was wrong; so let me clear up the scenario I gamed out and what was incorrect.

correction

  1. Doung never left the county, state or country (or continent)
  2. his buddies went NORTH; this writer predicted SOUTH
  3. all three men are in custody                                                                                                                                                                                what did I get right?
  1. distance – I predicted a 1000 mile radius from 500 n. flower. downtown SF is a solid six-hundo from the OC MAIN proper, so I call “closies enoughsies”
  2. NO ONE in OC talked to law enforcement (of their own volition; that i know of)
  3. OCSD reacted in the only way they know how following a hail Mary – arrest Vietnamese unscrupulously
  4. it is alreday unclear if/how/how much the reward $ will be dispersed
  5. coverage was big, but waning and sparse; ocsd lucked out big
  6. *unwanted attn. was drawn to CJX, OCSD, OCDA, OC Media
  7. *the story highlighted all that is wrong where local time = 2/7/1956

I’m way overdue to hash out the social, racial, cultural, financial fucked-up-ed-ness in the place I grew up in and live now….the stuff listed in the OP ..I will get to all that (Vietnam, Vietnamese Refugees, the Vietnamese People [they are commendable in every category]…WHY orange county is polarized from progressive neighbors Los Angeles and San Diego…and other learn-something-new-everyday tidbits I have for you about my sometimes home!
This may be the most poorly researched new/op-ed ever, but piling on this story is overdue…so consider that this post is a WIP and that more posts on-topic are coming down the pike …albeit at a modest speed.
From listening to KFI while awake enough to drive [for all intents & purposes] I gathered that something went wrong somewhere along the way for Duong, the towel-wrapper and “the hot one”….

somewhere along the way they jacked a cab…and the cabbie

problems arose when one of the alleged escapees took issue with “what to do about the cabbie.” -now- dear reader, I’m not a violent guy, you [hopefully] aren’t either, but let’s game out this speedbump, with the goal = “get away clean and don’t get caught”
First, carjacking is a bad idea unless it was hard-wired into the initial escape design.
ASSUME it was. –> that means IF (Cabbie sees any of their faces) THEN (Probability of escape drops to nil)
WHY NIL? THEY were on every channel, news website and paper for a week. It’s reasonable to assume that the cabbie will not only dial 911, he will say “it’s them, the three guys from the jail-break.” that’s game over. not an option…..considering.
THEREFORE we must backup and play this as we would our next chess move….or in comparative probabilistic gaming, whether or not to hit an 11 in blackjack. SAD, cold-hearted, but choice = obvious. as they say in St LOUIS; the only thing left to do with the Cabbie is “La-la” [that’s ebonics for what they call a “double-tap”] “La” kills about 90 percent of it’s victims at close-range… “-la” takes care of the outliers. SO – w/ the above assumptions, the decison to whack the cabbie isn’t really a decision – no more going all-in w/ a flush is a “decision” ..it bums me out and I’d be agreeing w/ the alleged others w/ heavy heart, but this was a no-brainer.
There are worse things than “la-la” – nutsack in mouth + blowtorch x left to die in the 909, for one.
Apparently, the escape fell apart when one of the alleged decided he didn’t want to “La-la” the cabbie. Events subsequent to this disagreement seem to be why the trio became a solo act w/ a duo headlining in The Castro…why Doung eventually turned in his dong peacefully and why the Iranian/Vietnamese duo act wasn’t a hit in SanFran…where the Denver Broncos & The Carolina Panthers are battling it out as I write. (mille pardons, I bet $4 on two punnit squares) other than that idc who wins…Peyton Manning is amazing, but still he will always sound like a cornfed retard to me.

I intend to record a new tapcast soon. We updated to WP 4.???? so ive already torn up and rewrote a great deal of php….once again…design is a wip. the main page’s header and footer(dot-php) are essentuially donesky. -tap

PS – new friend site – The Corpsman Geek, from friend/associate Kevin Gamin. Scope it out. K’ has/had a big hand in DCP, so if you enjoy or enjoyed that site; obviously his new sites subject matter is right up your … uh … alley!

advertising supports this site…see below and find out how much Google’s been spying on you—-


Under construction alert ….

FROM THE PUBLISHER’S DESK — FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Anonymous Reader, thank you for the bug report. It seems my .post style (the WordPress “text/css”) style— or the PHP… has an issue drawing content frames as of 10/18/15--column 1 is truncating on side two. If you are not one of my fellow code-geeks; plz ignore the geek-speak and just take note of the following:

DUE TO THIS BUG WE WILL BE FISHING AROUND FOR THE
OFFENDING LINE OF CODE THAT IS CAUSING COLUMN ONE
TO TRUNCATE PROSE AND CONTENT ON THE LEFT-HAND SIDE. APOLOGIES!

style.css & functions.php (& etc.php …er…etc…uh … are going to have the hood removed again; but I assure you the site is as secure, functional and jam-packed with original content as it ever was.
The Art Producer/Director of Self-Similarity Studios, Chris “Tapper” Welke; wants you to know that

“….the car still runs but the she may look like s#it while we are
under construction”>

Lonely Faction Production and SSStudios retain a policy, if you were not aware-
(From our SOP’s ref# ch.2_sub_sxn_5_article19_volume_7)–

Tapper7.com aka The SoCal Picayune remains open during construction. No exceptions.

typesetting, fonts, pictures, background colors, colors in general, text-boxes, titles, widths & heights…they are all subject to change and may in some cases. look “bad.” or “weird.”
if I learn anything new while I publicly make changes (no worries about the content itself– the site is backed-up frequently) I will report any tips, tricks, how-to’s & hacks ‘should any present themselves,’ we find a gem or just find dumb luck

    Bottom line

Tapper7.com and all associated sub-categories of this site are subject to looking weird, then bad, then worse, then bad again, then ok, then sorta “meh,” then “; ok that looks original and is readable regardless of the reader’s manufacturer(HP, IBM, Apple….), device type (desktop, laptop, tablet, phone, ipod) OS (MAC OohSX.?, Windows, Chrome, Unix, Linux) or browser(Chrome, Safari, Firefox, Opera….)
Please excuse our “dust” — by dust I mean – a live site that isn’t as aesthetically pleasing as you….treasured reader, are used to it being.

along those lines; it is important to keep all my content up 24/7/365(6) (shutout to host sponsor: (mt)) because we get waves of readers here at the home office. For some reason; a few thousand extra of you guys stopped by yesterday, what were you all reading? perhaps one of my diatribes made it to fb, digg, pinterest or some other sm nonsense page. my analytics will get to the bottom of this (shoutout to analytic & ad-serving, legitimacy-proiding sponsor Google)

In honor of the ‘praised advertising behemoth;’ (yeah right…this just a test–period).  here is one of their approved ads – it may or may not display correctly or at all, who knows….we’re under-construction, man! *ahem* “test footer-style, multi-media-enabled-modile-friendly ad in the frame provided; thk you that is all” – t

Another full redesign is in-process *Caution* Man working ….

I’ve decided to strip down the style and design of the site again. I’ve only just now (after a week on & off) felt satisfied with the new albeit temporary…presentation of this particular node on the Web.
I’ve written a heavy amount of PHP and CSS again, though they are not technically “programming languages” per se, they ARE subject to almost as many quirky dependencies, rules unique unto themselves; which are inviolable and require extensive research and testing to deploy. Hopefully you will find the site a bit more pleasing to the eye, faster, more secure, more responsive and easier to navigate.
In the meantime it is only fair to announce that we are officially “under construction,” so if you see something strange over the next few days, that’s my fault…. I’ve tested about half the “use cases” (things you might do, read, watch, listen to, click on or use in some form or another). Earlier today, the music uploaded to the private section of the site and the archived prototype podcasts vanished, they were unplayable due to bad PHP writing on my part.
I’m 90 percent sure you can watch all videos, listen to all music, podcasts, read all posts, view all artwork/snaphots/pix, read my stories, search the site, click on links and find the content you are looking for easily, quickly and regardless of device, OS, browser, ISP and service type (4g, 3g, WiFi, Ethernet, Cable, DSL …..). Before I drift off tonite, You can be certain that all of the “common use cases” are functional and that within a week, the lesser-used functions (commenting, guest-posting, all sidebar tools) work exactly as you’d expect them to.
Still on the to-do list is MORE formatting and design of the 2015 style and theme…. an audit of all media on the site (delete unused pictures, audio, video, dead links and raw text-data) an audit of all advertisers being served via Google AdWords to ensure compliance with our ethics and MY morals plus an audit of page-load speed. This will include a further dress-down and rewrite of JS, CSS, HTML and PHP. *Phew*
Thank you for hanging with me throughout your tenure as a reader! I’m working on some devastatingly interesting podcasts, stories, news, editorials….and maybe even a decent joke. No promises about bringing the funny, but you KNOW I always try!
For those about to waste time on the Web at The SoCal Picayune (or whatever sites you’d rather NOT acknowledge… “WE SA-LOOOOOT YOU!!!!!!!!!” -Ed

In the meantime, for testing and shameless promotion why not check out one of my soon-to-be-audited, yet generous sponsors? If the redesign is going well, an advertisement will display below, if you visit them, you help to support the site and me personally a great deal–no obligation to do so, or even to LOOK at one of my ads. As part of a long-term promise, there is nothing for sale on this site, so when I hint-hint-wink-wink-wink-nudge-nudge ask you to check out a sponsor I am NOT endorsing their product or suggesting that you spend a penny. A few seconds of your time however…I must confess, I do suggest as an easy way to support those who keep the site running, the hardware it runs on and the crazy publisher that does WAY more work on it than he should. *Ahem* wink-wink-nudge-nudge -From the Publisher’s desk with love, C “T” W


How to remove unwanted footer display and links in WP (and PHP, HTML) ….

This is a rehash of a previous how-to, but now that us WP “developers” have updated to v4.3….some of the unwanted PHP scripts and other junk may have returned to our sites. Let’s fix it fast–right now! In my case I prefer to get rid of the footer materiel that plugs a) the theme OP creator and b) WordPress itself. Why do we ditch PHP scripts that form the backbone of what the audience sees when they go to our-self-aggrandizing-website.com?

  1. Personalization – my site should contain MY approved content, especially links to 3rd parties
  2. Ownership– no one needs to know that my site is “powered by” ANYONE except ME, my associates and (mt)
  3. Control – anything viewed on my site NOT expressly approved by the publisher is unprofessional
  4. Anonymize – no one needs to know (or cares) that The Picayune runs WP or it’s reliance on a PHP template

Let me elaborate on Ownership – this is MY SITE! MINE MINE MINE! Pride is NOT a sin in the creative and technical world, 3rd party link-stingers at the bottom of my pages say, “you may enjoy this site but REAL credit goes to the open-source Web development firms that wrote some code running in the background.”
^^^^ F— them. The publisher built this site from nothing, the publisher
bashes his head in over every post and pixel, the publisher marketed the content and developed a loyal audience….THE PUBLISHER obeys all US Media Law and applicable media ethics…THE PUBLISHER creates original, rich, deep, informative, occasionally funny content… THE PUBLISHER was approved for Google Adsense almost a year ago. NOT WORDPRESS and certainly not a theme developer who’s code only loosely applies to what I still call “The Socal Picayune WP Theme 2015.”….so now that we’ve made updates, let’s try a quick how-to on what I call “WordPress footer anonymization.” Last time we had to re-write the “<>” (HTML & PHP browser directives) to “[]” as the “code” markup in WP 4.1 (or was it 4.0?) would glitch out, the WYSYWIG interpreting the brackets inside as real, despite the fact that the “code” (I’m still weary of using brackets for that word till the following test….) ostensibly tells your browser – “The following characters are all plain text – display them AS WRITTEN” — return to normal HTML when “/code” appears. For HTML beginners, this is the same as a bold command in a word processor. In a markup language a directive tells the browser what to do with incoming strings of text. Here is the simple example:

BOLD
— the rough equivalent of [strong] BOLD [/strong] –or– (b) BOLD (/b) ….again I’m using arbitrary beginning and ending brackets instead of “<” and “>” so as not to confuse the post the site will generate. Essentially in markup symantics, the directive %strong% indicates a change to the input string; the %/strong% (<—note the fwd-slash) indicates it is over. Ok…let’s give this a try… If WP 4.3’s WYSYWIG editor STILL bugs out on the “code” markup, I will post a snapshot this time instead of replacing all the greater-than & less-than symbols with ‘[‘ & ‘]’sTEST! 

  1. Dashboard –> Appearance –> Editor –> open footer.php
  2. Make a local backup copy of “footer.php” in case you screw it up
  3. delete or comment out the code snippet pictured below
  4. Update file (this will recompile the site with updated PHP script)
  5. Visit site – (for QA/QC)

*UPDATE* “code” does not work w/in a WP post – It’s likely that the markup itself is followed by another markup using the less-than ‘<‘ sign – this exception is either not coded into WordPress’ WYSYWIG editor or fails on the front-end of common browsers. I really don’t have the interest to solve this, so here is a snapshot of the code I removed:

//coment_out or delete

Let’s note what I removed in ditching the above:

  • A banner link to WP.com (or .org….)
  • A banner link to another webdev’s site

Let’s note what I DID NOT remove* (you won’t want to either. Directly above the call to a footer class, there is this command – “…do_action(‘generate_after_footer_widgets’);?> This fuction will return widgets embedded at the bottom of the page; MY content, so it stays. In my case, currently there are three footer widgets here– a plug for my fledgling podcast, links to other pages on the site and a calendar.

This test was successful on previous versions of WP v4 and is currently working no problemo on WP v4.3 running on a reliable server courtesy of Media Temple.
If you find the content here informational, entertaining, laughable or get SOME form of enjoyment out of it, you’d be doing us all a great big favor by checking out one of our generous sponsors. As always, there is no need to buy anything…not from me or any site plugged by me ever, but browsing Google Adwords-audited sponsors is of no danger to anyone. A banner ad may or may not appear below – the WP 4.3 testing continues….

Here is a less Object-Oriented example…this Stylesheets’s “original” author, or OP as I called one above, wrote so much unwanted junk AND script-kittied (nee plagiarized) so much of other’s that he mentions it’s “OK not to link to my site in the footer, but credit appreciated.” Sorry…. f— his “credit” take a look at the code:another footer removal example

Ok so as a courtesy you can see some names were changed and the Web site is bogus. Exercise: What PHP and HTML can we safely comment-out or outright delete?  To give you a hint this code will generate the following at the bottom of your page:

BlahBlahhoohooblahh 2015 WordPress Theme by www.someUnwantedBacklink.com Another Boring Theme

(another thing worth noting is that function ‘.date(“Y”)’ in this case will read the date from your computer, extract the year as a 4-digit integer and print it using the style defined for <p> in the stylesheet, I say this because it may not be 2015 when you read this and I don’t want to confuse anybody)

Ok…..ready? Here is a KISS-simple solution to wipe out all that nonsense (or rewrite/replace it with your own…link to an associated page or your client, whatver’s clever, You strip this down to:

</footer> </body> </html>

TaDaaa!

Is any of my content helping? If so…could do me a solid and visit one of my generous sponsors? I could really use the help. You don’t have to buy anything….that is part of The SoCal Picayune, Self-Similarity Studios and Tapper7.com promise: ads are clearly labeled, separated from site content and no financial obligation is ever expected of audience members. That said ….

*A note for beginning front-end developers: If I need to tell you why >? was not deleted, this is perhaps too advanced a tutorial – be careful not to remove /body or /html at the end of the file — again — make a BACKUP before changing HTML/JS/PHP etc. inside your page or it could be kablammo; you won’t destroy the site, but you WILL take it down and need to FTP as an administrator and swap out the PHP file to get your site back up. Unless you have unrestricted access to the backbone of your site … this will lead to a call for tech support from GoDaddy or whomever you use…and who the hell knows how long that will take? Learn as much about PHP, FTP, mySQL, HTML, CSS, JS and common contruction tools like Website Builder, cPanel and WordPress if you are a small operation – it will save you time, $ –and trust me it’s NOT COMPLICATED. These are not programming languages, they are scripts and applications – if you can put together a mean-looking Power-Point; you can do this!).
More posts, stories and podcasts coming soon, -t. []

How to Anonymize your WordPress site and theme….

It's a bit neefy

Ok, so you’ve got a theme going, right? At the bottom it says something like this:
Copyright 2015; SomeStupidTheme.com * WordPress.com …etc…it’s YOUR Web site, why should anyone else get to brand it? It makes you seem amateurish to webdevs and potential clients, or a client that HAS one will say:

“This site sucks, it actually SAYS WordPress at the bottom.”

…if you have a legit site like this one, there is absolutely no reason to have this self-congratulating backlinking crud on the site that YOU PAY FOR, CREATE ALL THE CONTENT AND DO ALL THE DESIGN…

    ***Delete it safely with this example***

  • Goto Appearance >> Editor
  • Open footer.php (it is almost assuredly called this)
  • Make a backup of it locally, if you f-up the PHP, your site’ll crash
  • If it does, just ftp in the backdoor and swap out footer.php w/ the orig. copy
  • Delete the PHP that’s spitting out the Stupid.com*WP.com/.org junk
  • Update file
  • Visit Site (Test it!)
  • Laugh <—–CRITICAL!
  • Enjoy YOUR site: YOU.com, not YOU.com “Powered by WordPress”- that’s lame

Some themes automatically anonymize the WP stinger. My previous theme was called “Big City” at the bottom of any pg. it said Copyright 2014, Tapper7.com, then a logo of a cube (like the Netbeans logo). It was a 2013-theme and had past my patience with how poorly formatted all my images and embedded content had deprecated to, so I flushed it and started it back up….
– New Year – NEW/Stripped-down THEME, NEW CSS- the stylesheet is a WIP. 
If you simply follow the logic of the script, find the part of the script that is yanking out the junk you don’t want, be careful not to accidently delete the things you DO WANT and delete it! For instance, my footer.php file spits out an advert, a list of other pages I have and a calender. IT USED TO have a footer to the footer, that said:
By AnnoyingSelfAggrandizingBacklinkingBS.com * WordPress.org/com(somethinglikethat).
….NOT ANYMORE!! Lulz.
For this particular theme, I began by ignoring the warning to NOT MODIFY ANY PHP.
First off PHP is not even a programming language, it is a script that is easy to read and object-oriented so the code-writer is trying to scare you into thinking he is so much smarter than you, that if you touch his precious PHP, your site will explode. This is actually true if you make a mistake at this, again…backup whatever files you intend to change on your hard drive. Learn how to FTP into your site and FIX IT YOURSELF if it crashes. The only other option is to pay someone to do it for you, but Tapper7.com is always of the opinion that you should never pay for something you can do/make yourself or learn how easily. Information is free.

I started by trying to “Comment Out” the offending PHP, which looked appx like this:
***Note all “<>” are replaced with “[]” so the site does not get confused about what’s real code and what isn’t… the code markup tag does not seem to be entirely functional at present. *sigh* MORE PROBLEMS, regardless:

/* Comment OUT:
[footer class="site-info" itemtype="http://......./WPFooter" itemscope="itemscope" role="contentinfo"] [div class="inside-site-info grid-container grid-parent"] [?php do_action( 'generate_credits' ); ?] [/div] [/footer]
[?php do_action( 'generate_after_footer_content' ); ?] End Comment Out-->*/

I’d forgotten that commenting out HTML (when combined with PHP) merely adds a visible “//” or “/**/” to the offending crud I’m trying to eliminate. Yeechhhhhhh!!
Look at the above code. All I had to do was DELETE what you see above. Update the file (which will quickly recompile your site) and “Visit” it for QA …and Kakooooooosh….bye bye offending crud that does not belong on YourWebSite.com.
This is my site and I decide what goes on it, not ANYONE ELSE. PERIOD.
My advice is that you take the same pride in your work and anonymize all that footer-junk. You do all the work. YOU take all the credit. Feel free to contact me if something annoying is stuck on your site and you cannot figure out how to safely dispose of it. Btw, if you have NOT crashed your site by making a PHP syntax mistake, I recommend that you learn how to get it back online if you or some jerk who works for you DOES. If you have a business – knowing how to do this “your own damn self” and not worrying or waiting on some IT loser to call you back or show up or fix it for you …is INVALUABLE. I’ll provide an FTP tutorial at a later date and screenshots if there is interest in this particular how-to.

Now forget that my site is WP, ok…? Wink-wink, dear reader! Tapper7.com…powered by Tapper…and OCD. NOTHING ELSE. My partner in interwebz content shenanigans, Kevin Gamin also reports the useful consistency and w3c compliance of WordPress. SEO is mostly scam bulls—…anyone claiming to “know how the GS algorithm works” and promising traffic/hits/growth and improved Google Search scores is LYING. We have a reverse-engineered framework for HOW/WHAT & WHY when it comes to propping up your “Google Score” but current employees legally cannot disclose src for BigData – duh! Fmr. emplyees sign the standarn non-disclosure agreement; which is in itself OBS because the GS algorithmm is updated constantly. WordPress really does provide LEGIT “SEO” (*sigh* I despise the acronym and the consters it attracts) – simply by creating original content, organized on a Google and w3-compliant design. WordPress sites do in fact grow naturally. Luck would have it GS (as it stand today) “likes it”

Ex: you are a gardener – buy www.imagardener.— and start blogging about your garden. Keep it up and soon your site will start appearing on pg 1 of a GS return for strings like “rose gardens” , “clippings” , “fertilizer” …u get the idea. If you’re like me and want to career++; legitimacy++; then WP is the way to go, writing about what you love is the simple key to a big-time GSR presence. Then comes readers, fans, contacts, sponsorships, support, contract jobs and after six months of professional care and diligent/RICH content – Google MIGHT legitimize your site by approving an Adsense Partnership (That is; if they are still accepting new affiliates–when I applied, I was told that they were not approving ANYONE and that a massive audit of me, my background, my credentials, my media ethics and media-law scruples would be thoroughly audited by a mysterious algorithm AND at least one human auditor. All Google Forums on Adsense overload with “Why won’t they approve me?” I was told the audit would take three weeks. Three DAYS later, they congratulated me and accepted me into their evil cabal.

I credit strict media ethics, the original content I provide, w3 and IEEE std compliance, working-prof-knowledge of Mass Media Law and Evil for my quick “Holy Stamp of Approval” for my fledgling site. I post those carefully partitioned/formatted/self-audited/qa’d ads in a minimalist way that adheres to the SPJ Code of Ethics – it is more about the badge of honor than the meager $ I get. I can show you how to do all this and then some.
Despite my twice upgraded GoogleAnalytics.js accout; I can only rvw data for 90 day periods, but we are popping 100,000 hits every quarter now and my core readrship of 3,000 is loyal and I am humbled and grateful for them most of….also Media Temple who sponsors my creative works by giving me a website with all the bells and whistles; they even gave me the keys to pHpMyadmin AND FTP access so i can deal with backend issues on my own. My cousin and I created a comment-spam killer that took us from 10,000/day to ZERO last September.
Readers – as always – information is free @Tapper7.com – send questions and hate-mail to chris@tapper7.com if you’d like to send your site into orbit. I don’t even have anything for sale; which I’m certain endears me to the blog-reading public; there are no pop-ups, mySQL node is Kittner-Redoubt safe and spammers don’t spam – not no mo’!
My site is just for creative purposes; nothing is for sale. The implication being – if I can create a popular music/art/tech/humor blog in such an unexpectedly successful fashion. I look forward to the next small or mid-size business to sink my teeth into. If it’s exposure, Google rank, Google legitimacy, online reputation and unique digital MKTG —- hit me up. My methodology (Organically-Optimized Marketing) is proven.
As for content; if you think I published a lot this past year; for every 1,000 words posted, there are 10,000 sitting in my docs folder. I’m including rich multimedia into my posts now as well.
OWN your site. WP rocks, but it is just code….YOU build it, YOU market it, YOU deal w/ all the BS. Give credit where it is due as always, but YOUR Web site is brought to the interwebz by YOU, not WordPress.com, not GoDaddy and certainly not the guy who wrote your theme and warned you “not to mess w/ it” …like he’s some code-guru. Repeating myself I know but —CSS and PHP are NOT PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES …these dudes would mess themselves if they had to program in C++ or Java.
To sum – if you are building up a site – for whatver purpose – DO NOT HIRE a “WP Developer” or God-forbid an “SEO-Specialist” SCAM SCAM SCAMMY SCAM SCAM. I’ll help you for free and show you how easy it is so you can do it yourself. The kind words, references, respect and free beer are MORE THAN ENOUGH.
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New content coming soon…. btw wtf is WP v4.1? ….

Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold tests his xmas lights handiwork

Heh… ain’t I just an SEO whorin’ out little bitch? —inserting a question I KNOW lots will plug into GS just to get you to come here….I really am a hypocritical douchey lonely loser zilch.
Uh….anywayz….I added that calendar widget to the right-column and noted I’d not updated in a week.
Well. Shit. So here’s a post. People ask me how I feel this time of year. I think the collective creativity of Terry Zwigoff, The Coen Bros., Billy Bob Thorthon and Frederick “Fucking” Chopin sum it up pretty nicely:

Get your shopping done? Got any $ left? Did you donate or hook up any homeless people?
whatever…should I even pretend to care when my real readers know that I’m moody this time of yr and don’t give a Fizzuck. They also know how I got mad love for ’em. Yeah…I’m talkin to you; in Los Angeles, The Central Coast, SD, SF, SJ, Santa Clara, Campbell, Stockton, Sac-town….Chi(“Shy”)-town….Austin, Rockford, Worcester, Milwaukee, Detroit, Tampa Bay, the East Coast of FL. Louisiana, Mizzuo, OK, Penn. Upstate New York especially Syracuse.
Mad love for Laguna Beach and Seattle. Dana Point, SJC and San Clemente. South County Style.

To my bad-ass readers all up in New Jersey, Maryland, Ohio, Indiana and Virginia.. My readers in Washington DC, Japan, Spain, Portugal, The United Kingdom, Canada, Mexico, Colombia, The Former USSR including the Ukraine….where I’ve never mentioned but….that’s where I’m FROM. readers there: we are kin. blood. Someday…we celebrate Chanukkah together. In your honor I’ve included some idiotic map gifs…do NOT THINK THAT I FACT-CHECKED data contained therein….I was just browsing for fun-stuff on 4chan. NO NOT THAT! OK…but it wasn’t on THAT PARTICULAR occasion, k? Sheesh….

a map of north america and walmart locations

Love for the randoms from Brazil who keep comin’ back. I don’t speak Portugese or know sh– about your country/culture, but I appreciate it when you visit…Brazil: “huge shout out to Brazil….huge shout out.”
The Cal Poly San Luis Obispo material is ON HOLD pending publication of The California Register, there are recent developments in the ice-cold Kristin Smart case. Go theere for details. Once that edition drops I will release hordes of info, anecdotes, stories and shit-talking on my good ol’ alma mater.

    Expect lots of tech-notes as I dive head-1st into:

  1. JavaFX
  2. Windows 8.1 hacks, tips, tricks, cheats, shortcuts, mudkipz, you know the drill
  3. WordPress v4.1 – migration, CSS, PHP, blah blah….
  4. How to – Optimize your Web site for mobile devices
  5. The usual security loopholes; how to sew ’em up and which holes not to step in
  6. Scams: who what where why how—-as always, served fresh
  7. Seven. Cuz This is  Tapper7.com. it’s 7x the TAP Muthaf—!

The more I learn, the more you will. I’ve got so much unpublished content I don’t even know wtf to do with it.
As always…My creative and technical services are available at a discount for readers of this Web page. Oh, I never said that? Well they are. Hiring managers: I’m avail @ $0/hr for 1st 90 days, risk free PLUS $2500 tax credit from The State. Inquire w/in for details.
On That Note: this is an excellent opportunity for me to to shove an advertisement all up in your face.
After all…what would Xmas be w/o advertising….specifically sponsored Sponsored Links? If you enjoy me, or this Web site, or any of the content I manage to assemble. Then… for the holidays, I would say if the ad below legitimately peaks your interest, that you visit their site. You’d be doing me and my sponsors a massive favor:


Will post again soon. till then…let’s get the fade on get DOWN yo! Happy Holidays EVERYONE. &heart -Tapper
a gif of moe from the simpsons
I Bend Them....Bender gif
a map of north america
Sponsor:

Special thanks for supporting Tapper7.com to the advertiser found above ^^^^ ****Update:(If it works…I rewrote the Javascript again (FEB 2015)) …even though I’m not supposed to f— with their code…whatever..like I care right?

Adverts.js test -or- How to fix truncated Javascript in WP.

A picture of the www.goto.com logo

Subtitle: How to fix a WP crash remotely using FTP.

synban: script keeeps truncating right half of .js embedded content. **Update 12/14 – fixed.**
***Update Dec. 2014*** PHP Flush did the trick…thx Cuz.***

Start by dumping that theme you love so much: bad news…like me you had a few OCD breaks w/ reality and overdid the CSS/JS/HTML4-5 editing to “pretty it up” it’s ok I did it too

1. Choose a new and dressed-down theme.
2. Crack a book on CSS or goto the only free tutorial sponsored by the w3c: and use their CSS Roadmap.
3. Backup your WP data, I suggest an FTP client. You may need to contact your host-server for admin and file-swapNswitch capabilities.
4. Backup your current themes/fxns/data and style before you tear it up. One pHp syntax error and it’s CURTAINS-then you WILL need FTP to get it back up n runnin’
5. If you are not qualified; have your kid do it.

***I owe it to my sponsors to make sure they have access to all of Google’s std lib. of adTypes, so you’ll see mostly ads in this post. This is only a test but the sponsor data displayed is no less relevant.****

***Update Dec. 2014 – 728px exceeds width oftext box. WIP***
Sponsor .js test Horizontal Basic 728×90 follows:
**UPDATE**  dec2014a : 728×90 no good for posts, footer/header only. Ad removed.

Btw after all that shit Content ID put me through for no reason?
May as well fire back:
If you know how to use t0awr@ntz…script:
Xsh%>run \t ^^^^^
Xsh%>browser “HYPTXXfercntrlPrtcll// the(Yarrrrrr!!!!)DOTessee”
Xsh%>inject pr0n.getName || flick.getName || whatevuhz
Xsh%>queryDB
Xsh%>hash etz string[]* argvector V
DO: Raise middle finger in the direction of your choice.

Synchronous Advertisement Test 320×100 follows:


Asynchronous Advertisement Test 320×100 follows: 
**TEST TBC…** Special shoutout to our generous and well-respected advertisers….check ’em out…they were designed FOR you WHEN you visit MY site. The algorithm was written by Goto.com a decade ago, still in use and as close to an AI (Artificially Intelligent) program I have seen to date. GoTo retired on the settlement $ w/ Google. Plz scope out their site; I used it quite often in college.

Credit where credit is due: visit GoTo for searches and to find a nice gift for loved one.goto.com is Tapper7 approved safe, secure, honest and NOT a scam – just legit and hyper-talented webdevs.