Publisher, site & Cast placed on 30-day hold by Administration ….

Yes, Mr. Welke is a straight up J-cat 5150 18-wheeler on 17 flat tires TRUCK, coming to halt via e-brake, shifting into low, swervin [Durbin!] and hopefully coming in for clean landing amidst a runaway truck mound. Jerry’s easy Tenor will lighten the moment before the CHP places mne in 4-point restraints in a [hopefully] tastefully-buttoned up hospital gown. Methinks this JG classic was playing when they found the rig.I likie the ones with the blue dots.
TapCast, now finally with fresh builds of Audacity, WP, FFmpeg Encoder & libmp3LAME.dll just ejected 2 new casts to let you know the ICU found its blood type ….O-….. the tracheotomy was successful and it will slowly revive, as did this writer in 2012. You can actually place this mess via iTunes, but for you ‘ultimate lazys’ out there I have an important question; ‘do you like Huey Lewis & The News?’
Associates & ***Performers/Staff at Impulse!*** get at me via email chris.e.welke@gmail …. the undisclosed location where Q-list celebs (me) and fmr. A-listers (Miley) wear robes, play footsy, drink coffee, talk at each other re: ‘where it all went wrong’ wont be of much help. its secure/discreet/private & as a journalist i’d rather you not violate anyone’s privacy besides moi. My drop-dead-gorgeous Suicide Gurl/gf/friends/w/benefits ‘Nic’ 1st stayed there about 11 yrs ago and the clientele was shocking. Did you watch the Academy Awards? Ok folks..there they are, the bvig ass black dudes, theyve got as straight jacket…mmm..mmmmmph!!!!
eeeee yuuuuuuu exxxxxt unnnnf!!!!!! Eyerra ssss nnnn ugleeeee ffft piyyyyg!!!! uuuuussshhhhh idddddd n-eye-nnnnnn eeeeelevennnnn!!!! Rrrrrumpo is uBer eeeeyond ay……ay…..mmmmm! AY….ummmphf _AYYYY!!!!! [ok cmon psycho it’s quiet time, we don’t waste Mr. Drew’s time do we?] ‘then why did he hire two n-OOOOOOFFFF!!!!’
If you clicky I money….can you do this fucking once for me?


Before they pull it! A Mis Abuelos with the Belgian dude!

Concierto! Other Spanish stuff. Bueno!
I saw this finals performance live with Stinky (great Euph player) we’d just about had enough BD/SCV/Cavs/PR/GF/Bones by that night, burt we didnt miss out on a chance to hear this one just 1 mo gin….s#!t A Drum Corps Fans Dream, part Dos yo!,

Fun with Microsoft’s Online OneDrive ….

So MSFT…in a last gasp effort to get you to use their software; is offering a newer; slightly more useful version of DropBox. You not only get some free cloud space; but instead of loading you up with a 90-day bloatware trial of Office 365 [as they did last time], they give you trial access to OneDrive.com (sorry no backlink –btw caution; the parody mktg doc im going to try and post HAS active links, one will take right back to the homepage at Tapper7.com; but the rest will take you to #NSFW in any way shape or form sites….just dont click them (crud now I KNOW you will…) anyway lets try n post this….it should be obvious what was weitten by Microsoft Marketing and what was edited by this writer ….Test – see if link to awful parody works ….Getting started with OneDrive parody by Tapper v0
Happy 2017!

Support our sponsor below – help keep The Pick running like a well-oiled ..err… ok I really mailed this one in – better content and a new podcast coming soon – we have new equipment here at SStudios. Woot!


Update – WP doesnt want to post their PDF either – so here is the text in raw cut & paste form – remember I changed the link-rels; (if they work which I doubt…) dont click if at work or want to retain marriage! xD
What is OneDrive?
OneDrive is another shit product from Microsoft. And it’s free[mium] this means it has in-app purchases so we can try to trick you out of your $ or try to convince you to buy crap you don’t need. You get 15 GB of free storage with your Microsoft account, so you can store all types of pr0n in one place and get to them from any Starbucks
Friends & family can easily hack into your OneDrive files, including photos, login credentials, dating Websites and your bank account – even your “secret” pr0n videos, And OneDrive works with Windows and Office (in case you didn’t know that your OS is compatible with our nearly value-less desktop publishing programs such as “Word” “Excel” “Access” and PowerPoint – you may still use these programs if you fell through a wormhole and landed in 1998, so it’s simple to work with OneDrive files on your computer and collaborate with other people on documents. You can do this for free using Google Docs; or if you need to collaborate at the “above two guys running a weed clinic” -level; we have SharePoint; Sun, oops, we mean Oracle also has a far better product for this; but it does MRP/ERP and other useful shit rendering “Office” utterly useless; they call it Salesforce.com. On a budget? Open-source pioneers Apache offer a suite of tools for publishing; drawing; collaboration; dB, spreadsheets and all sorts of other useful functions; it’s called OpenOffice.
The clock is really ticking on our ability to make $ on Office so buy now….please!
Add files from your computer
To add files to OneDrive, just drag them into your computer’s OneDrive folder using File Explorer or Finder. The files will automatically sync across all of your devices that have OneDrive installed (so not your iPhone, your Mac desktop or your Android device (sorry!). So you can drag a photo from your laptop to your
OneDrive—and later open it in OneDrive on your phone. By that we mean the Windows Phone you don’t own.
Add files from your phone or tablet
To add photos and videos on your phone or tablet to OneDrive, use the OneDrive app. Even better—you can also choose to turn on camera backup to automatically save the photos and videos you take to OneDrive. So even if you lose your phone or tablet, you won’t lose your memories!
Add files using the OneDrive website
You can also add files from any computer, tablet, or phone by using the OneDrive website. Just go to OneDrive.com, sign in, and then tap or click Upload.
Share files
You can share individual files and even entire folders without attaching anything. Send an email with a link to what you’d like to share (in case you didn’t know you could already do this using any email client made in the last 25 years)—and rest assured that everything else in your OneDrive will stay private (except for all the people who already fished, socially engineered, brute-forced or simply requested your login credentials). To share items from the OneDrive website, just select the check box in the upper-right corner of the item and choose Share.
See, in software engineering; the requirements were to “add a method to share objects with other users” Sharing takes one step IRL; I hand you my smoke – done. But since this is Microsoft; where we begin sentemnces with words like “but,” “and” ….we build outdated software one wants or needs; our OS will crash if you forget to reboot; perhaps our most famously idiotic OS UI/UX design flaw goes all the way back to our first GUI; Windows 3.0 (which Xerox’s Parc Research Facility allowed us AND a marketing firm called Blueberry [or something] to build a OS’s that would put a PC in every home in America, later the Western World; now nearly the Globe) so it wasn’t us that invented it; but we know when to repurpose software & weasel out of paying! Anyway; as we started to create Windows; the topic of “shutting down” the computer came up….a senior engineer who hated C & C++ (said we should built it in Ada…anyway) he said “we already made “start” button; let’s just put it there.” A pesky C++ programmer piped up and said “…but stop is the opposite of start, therefore one can’t be designed as a subset of the other.” He was promptly fired. We hired another C/C++ guy who nodded and agreed with the sr. Engineer in all the right places; so we released his family from captivity and had the FBI drop the treason charge against him.
Collaborate with Office
OneDrive works with Office, so it’s easy to collaborate [its also easy to repeat yourself 3 times in 2 sentences!). Instead of sending around different copies of documents, you can give other people permission
to edit the document directly (just like any other CMS on the market!). You can even collaborate with people who don’t have Office installed on their computers—they can open and edit documents in OneDrive using Office Online. Of course; we aren’t responsible for other OS’s so the preceding statement is not only untested –if it fails its YOUR FUCKIN PROBLEM JACK!
Get OneDrive on your devices
Use OneDrive on your computer, tablet, and phone to get to your stuff from anywhere. You can download OneDrive apps at OneDrive.com/download.
Where can I learn more? For more info, check out OneDrive.com/about or go to OneDrive.com/support.
Whats the best way to kill myself?
Auto-erotic asphyxiation is in style for winter 2017!

MyEmojiBio ….

By GA production artist Gwen Carrington….the following is a biography of this writer in Emoji-only form. Not bad. Write one about someone else…. do you know enough to hit the highlights of their life via symbology (
Here’s my life through someone else’s perspective using emojis as pallete…..

By Gwen C.
By Gwen C.

A little holiday music…..

Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold tests his xmas lights handiwork
Happy Holidays from Bill Feynman, Chris Welke, Steve and SNAFU from the home office on Los Angeles, CA. These tracks are available to stream until 1/2/17. We are busy as fuck as I’m certain you are as well dear reader/listener. Let’s make 2017 so good as to make 2016 feel like 2015. Together. &heart. The Publishers Desk at Self-Similarly Studios, Lonely Faction Productions and The SoCal Picayune.
*to be updated asap WIP*

(not so) Pretty picture test ….

Now I have the capability to interface with a computer using a “pen.” I’ve always liked drawings/drawing …. the mouse can never express accurately what I’d like to draw and display on the Web. post-lengthy comparison research (+now field test) we at self-sim-studios settled on the iPad Pro. We signed up for the Adobe Creative Cloud trial and made a few scribbles. One major problem is that the device itself doesn’t “talk” to my site nearly as fast as my (aging – 2014 – HP 15 laptop) but…ok…we make the pretty pictures on the pad and mess with the WP front-end via Windows 10*
To me it makes a whole lot more object-oriented sense to draw on the screen directly. I like it so far…ill try to present a few samples, all drawn in a hurry..still in the “see if it works to adequate spec” portion. ONCE it works? The crazy, cool, hip, strange and most of all all all all ALL original artwork of Chris Welke and Bill Feynman will be available via the SoCal Pic…where we ostensibly report news; but mostly tinker with the site and share all that is cool (art, music, tech, code, ideas…) w/ you, dear reader. Ok so here’s a few sketches…

Three boxes, squiggles and different colors
Three boxes, squiggles and different colors
tapper's 1st rendition of cerebus for the web
Cerebus sleeping off a good one in the Lower City….Iest, Estarcion (tavern unknown)
$1 to Ursula Vernon, whom partially inspired this foray into thsi type of image design/presentation; thx!
$1 to Ursula Vernon, whom partially inspired this foray into thsi type of image design/presentation; thx!
another logo test
another logo test
magnets...lol
$1 to Vince Gilligan and Oliver Age 24…w/ apologies.

***update***after more self training, here are some hopefully better ones….

Portrait #1 Groucho w/ cigar
Portrait #1 Groucho w/ cigar
Cirinist soldier at work in the lower city.....
Cirinist soldier at work in the lower city…..

image

Portrait #2 F. Scott Fitzgerald
Portrait #2 F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

Portrait #3 Abe Lincoln
Portrait #3 Abe Lincoln

You should be able to see a marked increase in quality as I learn the UI and tools to …errrrrrmmm better express myself.
*Yes I finally gave in and allowed it to force me to upgrade – no disasters thus far yet. We also use iOS 9.3.1 (also recent). WP just upgraded too. (version “Lester Coleman” methinks?) oh ! and plz use chris.e.welke@gmail.com to get ahold of the publisher of this fine website….the webmail donated by my gracious sponsors is no longer fully-supported, so hit us on gmail if you need to…sorry it’s not quite as secure and nothing we can do about that. (Don’t use gmail to send anything you wouldn’t stand up on yout desk and say at full volume; just to be on the safe side)

New equipment = fresh content on the way ….

Did you know that my previous laptop forced the use of “sticky keys” (that’s where u hit SHIFT 5x to let the CPU KNOW THE NEXT CHARACTER IS Upper-case. You may noticed I got lazy sometimes and skipped capitalization outright to get posts done. The HP 15 is a great budget laptop but it’s made from cheapy…err..especially cheapy Chinese materials. Not that my new iPad Pro is made from much better, but it is brand spankin new….and the prevailing reason to get it was to develop my graphic art skills using what is now called a “pen”
I made this new weak prototypic site logo in just under 20 minutes using a free download from Adobe. We reverted to the basic CSS so forgive me if the site looks half-assed. This new bit of hardware will have it back up to full-ass in no time.

Popular mobile devices for 2016 …. who cares? you do!

a pathetic band geek red char

source my site’s analytical javascript; courtesy of Advertising monolith GOOGLE.

Not shown – many of my readers opt out of being spied on constantly, the sample size is big enough for us however – we are looking at about 3,000 unique HUMAN visitors.

Number 10 … Motorola XT1080 Droid Ultra – I thought they made pagers, what are you doing on my site w/ your beeper?

Number 9Microsoft Windows RT Tablet – uh what the hell is that? The Surface maybe? I tried the keyboard on that pos once and that was it for me. To each his own [crappy mobile device!]

Number 8….The iPod – there you go! I have one too…save $ on the data by using wifi …I had my last one so long I wore it down to nothing and hucked it for $30, but all the time vested in “Clash of Clans” and “Smule Magic Piano” was all 4 naught till I replaced it. Thanks again, mom! (the data doesn’t reflect my own testing of the site using said iPod – about 25 of you have one…or your kids do, in which case you need to check the settings…my site is clearly labeled “mature” so junior can’t read about murder, government corruption, drugs from paprika to sodium pentethol and jokes that veer on the side of xenophobic, racially insensitive, chauvinistic and intentionally offensive more oft. Than not …nu?

Number 7 ….Samsung SM-N910V Galaxy Note 4 getting to the popular pocket-rockets here, which leads us to

Number 6 …. Samsung SM-G900V Galaxy S5 – ok so thats those of u who upgraded due to

  1. generous family holiday gift
  2.  you lost your s4
  3.  your s4 was stolen
  4.  you will die if you dont upgrade, so…you did…thats cool I aint no judge…only 1 of those! -or-
  5.  you used the s4 to “go upside the head” on a hopefully deserving recipient, or worse, you really lost it and just blasted it against the wall….since 20 percent of my beloved readers are females, we must not leave out
  6. DROPPED IN TOILET.

Number 5. The LG D850 G3  – a decent phone – Androids round out nearly half the top 10. make sure you invest at least $15 in a case this phone is beyond expensive..the LG4 will be off the chain expensive. Kinda big but it fits in most pockets.

Number 4. The LG-H810/H81010b G4 …ok so it is out …no big surprise there

Number 3. The bronze medal mobile device for fledgling 2016 is …the iPad – im not told if you use the 1 or the 2 – I figure that of the 1000 of you….800 have the 2

Number 2. your silver cell is the Google Nexus….north of 1500 of you bought one last year “just like yer told to…” and speaking of doing what your told, the winner of the 4-week-best-paper-weight to follow your hero Donald “Quacker” TRUMP is…[buzz-roll plz…..]

Number 1. you know what it is. Why waste precious prose. There is a 70 percent chance it is in your hand right now. Read the label; yeah…the newest one…you shameless bastard. It’s why you’re my reader and one of the reasons I love you so much – no shame -no regrets- fuck it. You have the most desirable mobile device in existence because you CAN. Bravo sir (or madam)

advert from Evil Corps follows–


Under construction alert ….

FROM THE PUBLISHER’S DESK — FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Anonymous Reader, thank you for the bug report. It seems my .post style (the WordPress “text/css”) style— or the PHP… has an issue drawing content frames as of 10/18/15--column 1 is truncating on side two. If you are not one of my fellow code-geeks; plz ignore the geek-speak and just take note of the following:

DUE TO THIS BUG WE WILL BE FISHING AROUND FOR THE
OFFENDING LINE OF CODE THAT IS CAUSING COLUMN ONE
TO TRUNCATE PROSE AND CONTENT ON THE LEFT-HAND SIDE. APOLOGIES!

style.css & functions.php (& etc.php …er…etc…uh … are going to have the hood removed again; but I assure you the site is as secure, functional and jam-packed with original content as it ever was.
The Art Producer/Director of Self-Similarity Studios, Chris “Tapper” Welke; wants you to know that

“….the car still runs but the she may look like s#it while we are
under construction”>

Lonely Faction Production and SSStudios retain a policy, if you were not aware-
(From our SOP’s ref# ch.2_sub_sxn_5_article19_volume_7)–

Tapper7.com aka The SoCal Picayune remains open during construction. No exceptions.

typesetting, fonts, pictures, background colors, colors in general, text-boxes, titles, widths & heights…they are all subject to change and may in some cases. look “bad.” or “weird.”
if I learn anything new while I publicly make changes (no worries about the content itself– the site is backed-up frequently) I will report any tips, tricks, how-to’s & hacks ‘should any present themselves,’ we find a gem or just find dumb luck

    Bottom line

Tapper7.com and all associated sub-categories of this site are subject to looking weird, then bad, then worse, then bad again, then ok, then sorta “meh,” then “; ok that looks original and is readable regardless of the reader’s manufacturer(HP, IBM, Apple….), device type (desktop, laptop, tablet, phone, ipod) OS (MAC OohSX.?, Windows, Chrome, Unix, Linux) or browser(Chrome, Safari, Firefox, Opera….)
Please excuse our “dust” — by dust I mean – a live site that isn’t as aesthetically pleasing as you….treasured reader, are used to it being.

along those lines; it is important to keep all my content up 24/7/365(6) (shutout to host sponsor: (mt)) because we get waves of readers here at the home office. For some reason; a few thousand extra of you guys stopped by yesterday, what were you all reading? perhaps one of my diatribes made it to fb, digg, pinterest or some other sm nonsense page. my analytics will get to the bottom of this (shoutout to analytic & ad-serving, legitimacy-proiding sponsor Google)

In honor of the ‘praised advertising behemoth;’ (yeah right…this just a test–period).  here is one of their approved ads – it may or may not display correctly or at all, who knows….we’re under-construction, man! *ahem* “test footer-style, multi-media-enabled-modile-friendly ad in the frame provided; thk you that is all” – t

Looking for latest “posts” dear reader? ….

As we all know, I communicate far more effectively with my voice than my prose.  My last two “posts” were short podcasts showcasing my latest ensemble arrangements, and that of  an associate as well. I’m experimenting with the audio and keeping QC as tight as possible….Broadcasting is what I went school for. That and editing, computer programming and math. My prose always suffers from wordiness. My broadcasts are always clear and concise.
There should be link to my podcasts in Column one of this page and Column two…if not I’ll be adding it.
Best Practice for everyone is to lookup “TapCast” on iTunes. More multimedia content = more gooder.
TapCast is hosted by Tapper7.com and published on Stitcher & iTunes. Get tapped today!

Embed Tapcast via iTunes INTO The Socal Picayune? Technical testing time DING DING!….

So in order to promote my new podcast, so far I can only give search terms on SM….which is way lame, but lots are listening to my prototype level content either organically or because they YOU are reader and have a twisted sense of what qualifies as entertainment (actually you are likely to have a higher education and IQ than 90 % of the public per my analytics analysis aggregation)

SO!force you to search for “Tapcast” on iTunes or 1 mouse click? as software engineer I go with latter. Fast, ez & SIMPLE. No work should be involved to be informed and entertained by the madhouse that is Self-Similarity Studios.
TESTING…..take 1: Apple’s iTunes “Linkmaker”

Below should feature a button so you can “get some” I mean “get it on iTunes” ….

I’ll even allow the Apple branding if it works….
Here are the some of the new transcription arrangements NOT included in the cast….
Testing…”Salvation is Created” adapted from an arrangement by Greg Flores….
Salvation is Created arr. Tapper by Tapper7
*EDIT – Aerith’s theme removed from embedding due to Musescore’s limit of 5 scores, I will repost it on iTunes as “music only” and perhaps a pdf or two here.
*
Relm and Aerith’s Theme were composed by Nobuo Uematsu on behalf of SquareSoft for FF3 on the SNES and FFVII on the PS1, respectively. You can currently order FFVII via Steam if you can’t wait for the remake. As for FF3 (FF6 in Japan), sans a cartridge and console, I recommend snes9x provided you DID purchase the game legitimately when you were a kid. As for Hayes I love that track but f-him na…I thought that guy was cool.

Throw “4chan raids on twitch” into a search if you are bored and in need of laughter. Join up, but after my first, EPIC “Ramoning” of a creepy cosplay guy to entertain the 4channers, 9gaggers, myself and make they annoying anime guy lose his mind…I’m suspended for 24 hours. Next time I’ll record so I can resurrect “Steve from Yellowstone” I wish I’d been recording the livestream. I honestly think Jim and Op wouldve given me an atta boy. Last nights raid on The guest host of Black Ops 3 was beyond epic. Caution; cringe-humor is not for everyone. The running gag was “Bush did 9/11” simply because it made the host lose his mind. Full-blown mental breakdown on camera. Never realized we had FULL CONTROL of his livestream and that none of the donations were real.

Infotainment you won’t hear anywhere else dear reader: The SoCal Picayune.