Michael “Mike” Braga 86’d from 2017 Santa Clara Vanguard Alumni Corps ….

*Breaking* LATER ASSHOLE! Space Park Management to violent coward: Thanks but NO THANKS -or- Wife-Beater Takes Beat-Down
Part I.

Around about every five years; the most consistently prgressive, entertaining, competitive and downright bad-ass drum & bugle corps* in the kh2own universe puts together an Alumni Corps….for fun, for old times sake, cuz life starts to suck after age 21, cuz playingin a large group of talented men & women is better than (sex * drugs + rockNroll) ….. to get easily-explainable time off from work/family/friends/poker/kids/your dog/home [all the things that society INSISTS you take part in and enjoy……So we’re all cut out on what-the-world-expects-of-us and why not? If that’s all we did, [musicians especially] it would make for a rough world. (did you know Hitler was a band-geek? yeah-Basson —God I would knock him out just for THAT! AAAAANYHoooooo……)

WHO IS MIKE BRAGA?

I’ll tell the story as it unfolded for this writer in 2007. The timeline is quite jagged; so put on your “Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul/Star Wars/Pulp Fiction/Memento style plot hats cuz the timeline here zigs, zags and jumps…
That year I ran two assembly lines for Metagenics (fmr. makers of professional quality dietary supplements, protein powders & functional foods; my lines always packed that finished-goods, and pills from horse tablets to the barely visible. I digress. I’m running line 4– the phone rings. It’s Joe Rybus, a heavy in Kingsmen Organization and a head-hunter for the hornline. Someone fronted me off to the guy — he knew my name & cell….at least it was a welcome call.

“Am I interrupting” (he is; but…take a guess how many fucks I gave…)
“No….”
“This is Joe Rybus, did you know The Anaheim Kingmen are putting togther an Alumni Corps this year? This is the first time DCI will be held at the Rose Bowl to commerate our innaugural victory at Whitewater in 1971…anyway you wanna join?”
“I never marched Kingsmen”
“Yeah … well see we want to have as big a hornline as possible; so we waved that requirement; in fact; so far most of the members are alums from up north; like yourself!”
“Are you guys gonna play cool shit?”
“Yeah, Mambo, Folk Song Suite, So Very Hard To Go….Firebird...”
“That sounds cool…cant go wrong with Mambo, Williams, ToP or Stravinsky…. how many horns?”
“We have nearly 80; shooting for 120….” (now my crew knows im , not evem trying to work so they take over; a good crew…)
“So you wanna fill the rest with ringers right?”
“Yeah Chris; get it now?”
“….Practice? How do we not get the cops called?”
“One of the members is a principal at school in Anaslime [Joe didnt really say that, but u get the idea] He says we can use the band room and that no one will call for noise if we pack it in by sundown…and its just 30 miles north.”
“Joe I wanna do this, but $ is tight, I can’t tale time off work …..”
“We’re camping at Long Beach State for about 3 weeks before Semis [our last show] all you need is 1 weekend a month till summer, then every weekend, then get most of august.”
–NOTE: Joe’d made this call in 2006 so I had plenty of time to arrange this; plus my work OWED me a decent VAYCAY; I’d never taken even a sick day three years in ….
“$ is tight Joe….I can squeeze the time but I need rides, a uniform, theres no way I can pay fees. I want to help…really is th-
“[cutting me off] “look it’s free; if you need a ride ill get you one….
“I can drive dude; just one more thing; now that im older? 2nd Barry? Lower Lead? ….my chops are in pro-condition so …”
“Got it; Upper Lead Baritione, comped…the next camp is at….”

The rest is history. Sops like legendary sops like Ralphie, Jim Sobacki, Phil Norris and a few other (not Ray!) along with many Big Bore idols, Carl Allison (Freelancers), Doug “Pooh Bear” Kenyon (BD, Colts), Tony Pon (SCV), Charlie Groh(1st Marines, 2nd Battalion, 5th Regiment, Item Company, WWI/WW2/Korea)…..they really made it all worth it. Ther all could mop the floor with me; talent-wisae especially. *Fun Fact* – It would be Pooh’s last DC performance – he joined to surpise his daughter at DCI who was in the Colts – a rookie CG (coolest dad ever – RIP ol’ buddy!)
There were about 200 people in the Kingsmen that year; we rocked an honor guard with a full Color Presentation so of those 200, lets say 140 were holding an instrument. Here is a rough estimate of how they broke down:

  • Kingsmen Alumni = 22 percent
  • Freelancers Alumni = eight percent
  • VK Alumni = 10 percent
  • Concord Alumni = 25 percent
  • Santa Clara Alumni = 25 percent
  • Other or band-geeks living out their childhood fantasies 10 percent

Note there would be LOTS of crossover here: SCV/BD, VK/BD, Freelancers/BD, Kmen/BD …etc. Only Marty Jo Basset, Bill Varju and Tim Meehan having marched “the cycle” (VK, Freelancers, SCV & BD; with ho iarble mention that Tim SOLOED in ALL FOUR, Marty “The One Man Party” played upper lead sop in all four; and Bill Marched Contra, Barry (@VK in 95), Mello (BD, yr unknown) and Soprano – A DOUBLE CYCLE!!!!! Credit to Scott Steward as well for marching, though in just two that I know of; check out his 1990 semis solo when he’s like….a fucking 13 year old. (will add YT link if it still exists) Credit also to Jack M. for TEACHING VK/SCV/BD/Troopers and possibly Sac.
*sigh* better get to the meat here …. so we’re camping at LBSU and it’s like a biunch of adults with families/jobs/responsibilities are kids again (we were; well we felt like it; my room Anthony; whom partied 1000th as muvh as I did at that time – we got along famously and are still friends; having marched Renegades & Kingsmen Alumni together (links to follow). Each day we hit a practice field about 500 yrds from the dorms. Stretch. chat, plan, apply sunblock and Gold Bond, sectionals, lunch, ensemble, dinner, then either a show or more ensemble….then party, pass out, rinse & repeat. For us age-outs WE ARE ON CLOUD NINE; praying September never comes.
One week before Our final show (sniff…) at DCI I hear a rumbling that the cymbal section wants to quit en masse. Why? Apparently [to paraphrase] – WE CANT TAKE ONE MORE SECOND OF [MIKE’S] ABUSIVE BULLSHIT. CHOOSE. HIM. OR US. Our Fearless leader and DM Gary Kean investoigated, to find that Braga was running the cymbal line as though this were 1987 and THIS was the 1987 SCV Cymbal line. Lets start with some definitions.
A drum corps cymbal line – an extremely physical job from high school level up to division one (World Class) the cymbal line marches, attempts crazy difficult drill, accentuates the visual feel of the program. Musically all sorts of sounds can be made via scrapes, crashes, “shings” and tastefully marching in front of the battery so they have a crash or ride or (???) cymbal to use on the fly. Cyms are part expert dancers, military-precesion-marchers, elegant musicians and marching masters.
The SCV Cymbal Line – These guys are famous for being “so far over the top as to be obscene. Every time I saw them; they did everything together: they sit together on the drum bus. When the direcgtor (or any staff address them) they stand in a perfect rank, side-toe-contact. They rarely if ever make mistakes. Holes in this line are filled by an audition of 1000 competing for one spot. They eat togther – yes, in a rank. At night, they stack their bunks adjacent, in a rank. Every SCV member busts their ass; but NO ONE works as hard as the cyms. Finally; no one in their right mind would mess with them while on tour; they are tougher than any d-line for any college football team and were they soldiers? They’d return from combat HEAVILY decorated …. pardon the expression but you ever met a group of guys so tight they’s “eat each others’ sh!%?” —ok that’s the SCV Cymbal line for the past 30 years at least.
So Braga, even though, this ostensibly laid-back “Senior Corps” that only rehearses weekends (9-5 in stead of 9-sunup the next day, ‘EIGHT days a week’) and will not receive a score (Sr. Corps are usually exhibition at DCI shows) …Braga is not only acting like he is back in an SCV-hardcore-as-fuck-hand-me-that-bowl-of-shit Cymbal line….he is making threats, making some of his fellow Cym CRY. Doing the opposite of why we took off work and pissed off our kids & significant others – to make visually pleasing, aethetically beutiful, sonically sonorous, loud music – for us, for the fans, for everyone. The sxn reported; AND BRAGA (on the field of honor**) says [PARAPHRASED]

NO, FUCK YOU GARY IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE

 

WIP 1/30

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…again WIP this mess is about a quarter done. Sorry to put you blast Mike….no I’m not sorry….You suck….I’m ashamed to call my self any sort of “alumni” list that beats both our names. You are a disgrace to the Silver Star, The Green Shield and the memory of Gail & Myron. Start my NEVER HITTING ANOTHER WOMAN EVER. If you eant to hit someone….the comment section is below. -c

Part II

Braga decided (at some point) that as de facto Cym section leader of Kingmen Alumni; the best way to run the line was to act like a fascist white-power-prison-gang “grand-intimidator – thinking that excellence could be achieved via anger, cursing, threats, yelling and general douchery. If you’ve been incarverated or not; pictire that Napoleonic psychopath you pray never crosses your path. “I just want to do my time & get out with most of my teeth. Then you meet Braga. He wants to know “who you are, where youre from, what your deal is….are you a narc? He makes comments about your manhood to compensate for his lack of. I mean, what kind of man has two violent strikes for beating his wife? Usually the kind to scared to hit a dude.
Braga created an atmosphere of misery for the other Cymbal players in 2007, thinking this was the right thing to do …. One afternoon at Long Beach State; the Cyms had a meeting w/o their fear[full] leader; they decided marching in the Kmen Alumni no longer fell into the “fun” category. It would be fun if not for Braga; so they took the issue to Kean and said “Him or us.”
Simple, lose the douche. That’s where the story should end. With lightning-strike exceptions; an SCV member or alum obeys on0field orders from staff, section leaders, the Horn Sgt., all techs, consultants, caption heads and the director without question, so with my 1991 Kanstul 3v G Baritone at a pistol; I was shocked to hear Braga ARGUING with the fucking Drum Major!!! He was refusing to leave, saying he did nothing wrong. Kean is a smart, shrewd and peaceful man. He was not about to risk a figth with this hulking ,ass clearly looking for a violent outlet for his maniacy. The KAC rented dorms, a parking structire and a practice field; making the field (thank God) corps property. Member or no; the director/DM asks you to leave its not up for discyssion. NEVER on the field of honor. Before Kean could finish rationalizing “leave no you sciopath. Please leave and dont ever come back.” —several members hit 911 on their cells. The LBSU PD and LBPD showed up quickly. Braga was dragged off the field by them snarling and shooting red daggers out of his eyes, blaming the staff, the corps, the Cyms, Kean, the members, using words I woulnt place in a artice ABOUT the field of honor.
Not Familiar? Any field is a sacred place. Treat it that way if you ever want to march on Game (Saturday) Night. Since the 70s (60s?) Guards say a prayer to field before entering it. Batteries & Hornlines dress as nice as weather allows on the Field of Honor, they don’t swear on it, the NEVER sit on it, They use G-rated language on the field, they act professional; because they ARE. Only the teachers, leaders and technicians talk betweenn takes. Rehearsals are done with a purpose, memberws run back to their sets. Breaks only exist to keep memebers hydrated. We keep out ears open and our eyes up. We treat a painted field better than a board room in our chosen professions. To disobey chain of command, to shout vilent threats, to force law enforcement to drag you pff the field and worst of all; to stalk the corps after like a NeckBeard whose My Little Pony collection came to life…is deplorable.
—–next—–part III. Deep Background & Diane Feinstein….

Vietnam wins again, CJX Jailbreak #ocjailbreak …. some notes ….

sandra and company, i added text parodying an ad for old fox cops tv show, saying you can watch them fuk up live every morning on fox..also "eat a dick"

As of this moment, 100s of dipshit COs, deputies, cops, feds, CHP and misc. law enforcement investigators are still looking for the three men found missing from the Orange County Jail, called “CJX” by locals – One of the escapees is alleged to’ve attacked a Weed dispensary, one victims body was found almost charbroiled, with his junk stuffed in his mouth and his body dumped carelessly slack in the IE, the younger, middle-aged and older men are facing federal charges from kidnapping to Murder 1 to “torture.” (I dont know how to define torture…do you?- hence quotations marks…..by all accounts, each man is looking at life, probably the chair …so… they busted the fuck outta the hoose-cow and are likely off-continent. I gotta confess, this site and writer has longtime held that the OCSD is incompetent, CJX is “cruel & unusual” & never do the accused get a fair trial from OCDA…....so, we are rooting for these men to make a full escape. (with the possible exception of the towel-wrapper) Best would be to a country that doesn’t have extradition with the US. WHY ON EARTH are we rooting for these guys? ok ….a little background. This news item brings up a few major topics:
1. Vietnamese People in Orange County
2. Vietnam
3. The dynamic nature of weed & “the law”
4. The 50s, 60s, 70s …and TODAY! (just like now-defunct FM radio!!)
5. The Vietnam War
6. People from Orange County
7. Strange-overly-conservative-time-machine political views and racial divides.
8. CJX
9. Lighting people on fire
10. A Vietnamese Necktie (I’m coining that one, you get your wang and nuts chopped, shoved in mouth, set on fire and buried then buried off the 91 fwy)
11. Racism in Orange County
12. How Orange County is fundamentally polarized from Los Angeles, though they border each other
13. Gaming it out..
.Escape from CJX, Revenge of The Men in The Yellow Pajamas.
We’ll address all this crazy shit as it unfolds and as I get this absurd editorial organized, it’s gonna be a long one…..tbc afternoon, Tuesday…
Here at HQ we are not as concerned as all other media and law enforcement outlets, looking into the alleged crime, we’re talking EXTREMELY PERSONAL AND PRE-MEDITATED, NOT random violence. Extremely doubt any SoCal residents are in danger and I DOUBT the three are still Stateside, closest they are to here is Mexico, and the Sheriff is caught with her pants down for running a shitty facility EVERYONE HATES CUZ IT VIOLATES BASIC HUMAMN RIGHTS! Reap what you sow …retards at OCSD and 98 percent of the COs at CJX, you suck, you bring nothing to the table and everyone knows it. Sandra, you can be like Mike Carona and resign in disgrace hehehehehehhehlolzorz. -ed
Come back for more soon! – tap
****Most recent AP dispatch courtesy, LA Times, OC Register not even following major story haha they suck too! gotta love it when it’s OC epic fail everywhere but here and in the minds of three other former residents of North America’s ONLY Medieval Dungeon!…the latest.

****evening****I left some hard truths as comments (questionable whether that level/qty of truth violates their “comment policy”) on the Mother Jones site which I understand to be a legit journalism publication, the writer is from OC and mentions the story as an after -thought…but the comments show this is no puff-piece. This was planned, organized, daring, cunning, timed perfectly, executed with serious cojones…the local media and authorities are already shying away from the story.
They’ve lost & they know it. I saw a lieutenant, he drifts off into “staff-meeting-double-speech” — he’s all flustered, talking in circles, he knows the Vietnamese community ain’t gonna talk – he’s an officer – as bad as OCSD is…the officers aren’t stupid, categorically, they know what’s up….

….The main alleged escapee? The noose-tyer? He’s juiced-in! He’s high power…connected! you guys groovin’ on what im jivin’ here? Go watch a Scorcese movie and get back to me…Jesus!allright, I’m gonna go have a smoke, what, you don’t smoke?? what are you…one of those fitness freaks? ..just kidding go fuck yourself.” Alec Baldwin, from “The Departed” – tap

***1800 hours, Monday*** the only other media site besides…yes this one…to touch the story was CNN, three hours ago… headline “SoCal Residents on edge” …ok … journalistic-ally we can go hunt for one dummy to say that on record, but it isn’t true. No one who lives here with an IQ above 60 or an education above 3rd grade is “scared.” Let’s give CNN the benefit of the doubt…”Doung” jumps in my window right now, armed. I’d give him a meal and a beer and fucking congratulate him….but…let’s face it…I’m glad I at least jumped on this story while it was lukewarm…cuz im gettin the feelin, this is over. All three men got away clean. Unless the towel-wrapper joins that weired “Arab State”-thing, whatver the fuck that is …. the two slants? They’re looooooooooong gone…even if they went south they are 1000 miles south of me….and I’m nearly 50 miles from 550 North Flower aka County Jail – Mens Central aka CJX – where I can tell you this, the entire facility will remain on 24-hour lockdown indefinately, for those of you who’ve never jaywalked, that means NO SHOWERS, NO HOT FOOD, NO LEAVING ANY CELL FOR ANY REASON…AND THE INSIDE-LIGHTS ARE LIKELY ON AS BRIGHT AS POSSIBLE (you try to sleep w/o darkness for weeks, months…years…at a time (???) good Lord can we start treating those men with some humanity? Many at CJX have not been convicted…of even a single crime…even jaywalking. Major Case trials drag thru the 1st ROUND of trial for years…and the convicted don’t “get” (trust me) to go to prison until they are convicted of a felony by a jury or adjudicator. ok … be back soon dear reader -ed.

****early am 1/27**** – Doung still long gone…no more Duong guys…. The bold list of topics listed at top of this piece are a WIP – I’d like to address some important historical facts about life behind the Orange Curtain you may not be aware of, even if you live here…as always, information, bad jokes and putting the COPS on BLAST (which is the sworn duty of any journalist worth his or her salt) …. we are having fun sticking the truth right up in their dumb faces, that is for sure. I made the absurd graphic semi-meme to replace the other featured image, which I technically stole from The Times, so I wanted to admit that I did that – used it as a place-holder and made something original myself as priority. You can also visit the Los Angeles Times for more on this story – objective and cutting editorial. The Times always has and always will be a pillar of altruistic, ethical journalism and I salute all reporters, editors, photogs, techs and publishers. Your plug is gratis, below is a sponsored link; if you enjoy my brand of crazy, I encourage you to support our little site by visiting their site; I will never ask you buy anything from me, ever. We advertise; that’s how it works. You don’t pay, they do. Plz support them & in so doing …support News, comment, OCD and the Jewish-controlled media, we would like more $ from Google so…ok end of rant – from the Publisher’s desk.


Some common prose mistakes, per EN-US standards, AP Style and a prerequisite eight-grade literacy level* ….

outline html testA. Their, They’re There. “Their” is the third-person plural possessive tense meaning “Belonging to them”
Ex. “Don’t get mixed up in their bulls—”
“They’re” is a contraction, the third-person plural present-tense of “to be”
Ex. “They’re in need of a refresher course in English”
“There” – indicating a location in space.
Ex. “Bill saw a chupacabra there.”
B. Its and It’s.
“Its” is a third-person possessive pronoun meaning “Belonging to it” His and Hers may help you remember this exception, normally possessive nouns contain an apostrophe….
“It’s” contraction meaning “It is.” Third-person present tense of “To be”
C. Redundancies. Stop it! Makes writer seem ‘tarded.
a. “Very” – never use. “I’m tired” or “I’m very tired”? delete the waste of space and typesetting. Use “I’m tired” Clear and concise.
b. “I think” – of course you do, you wrote it! Many use this to qualify “The following is my opinion” Ok…if your communique’ is not completely clear to the audience on whether it contains only facts, only opinion or a mix, qualify your writing in the HEAD “Commentary by Tapper” “Editorial” or “The views express herein do not reflect those of Google, Inc., Drum Corps International, any affiliate corps, vendors or sponsors” Make sense?
c. “Hope this helps.” as in letter ‘b’ above – implied, many help forums ban or flag this oft-used needless sentiment it’s irrationality and waste.
d. “, and” the “and” takes the place of a comma. It never comes before “and.”
D. Basic style notes.
a. Sentences do not begin with “Because,” “but” or “However” they are preceded by a comma and part of the previous sentence, hence they are one thought. One sentence.
b. In general, use the following format for numbers: “one, two, three, four …nine, 10,11…19…99″…119…infinity.” Spell out “zero”…”0” is ambiguous. Spell ordinals same way(First…Ninth, 10th, 11th…) Sentences BEGINNING with a numeral or ordinal should always be spelled.
Ex. “One-hundred nineteen times I told you to shut up!”
Ex. “Tapper is 35 years old. Bill Feynman is 65.”
Ex. “In 1998, The Concord Blue Devils came in third place at Nationals”
c. Most things said to be “ironic” are “coincidence.”**
d. for verbal attribution, use “said” and only “said.” “Lamented” “shouted” “cried”…these are not only your interpretation, but are ambiguous and foster muddy communication so save the poeticisms for other verbs.
e. Flags on land fly on staffs, therefore they fly at “half-staff” on sombre occasions. Ships at sea lower their flags to “half-mast” … If you are online with your big political viewpoint about South Carolina and you mention flags in the capitol flying (or not flying) at “half-mast” I’m forced to assume you have no idea what you are talking about, nullifying an lame tweet.
f. NOW is an acronym (because the letters stand for something and can be pronounced as a separate stand-alone word. SIGINT is an acronym, as is LACMA, MOMA, DARPA…etc. The OCSD and the SLODA are not, those are corrupt organizations***)
NOW id the National Organization for Women, accent on the “for” most think it is “of” -please learn and remember.
g. Colons only appear after a statement containing the word “following”
EX. The following should be used in place of colon to indicate an ordered or unordered list in a statement sans the word “following”:
1. –
2. ;
3. —
E. Attribution. If you did not say it, say who did. If you did not write it, give credit. For technical writing use AMA Style for attributing people and publications. If you are tweeting a movie quote, put it in quotations and append the name of the movie, screenwriter who wrote the original line (ideally) or the character/actor that said it, followed by the name of the movie.
Ex. “I’m not that horny, I just got out of prison” –Jim Hogshire, screenwriter, “Let’s Got to Prison”
Ex. “Welcome to Home Depot, I love you” –Mike Judge & Etan Coen, co-screenwriters, “Idiocracy”
Ex. “It appears that Mr. Ringo is an educated man…now I truly hate him” –Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday, “Tombstone”
F. Legal primer. Never oversimplify. Triple check all facts and prose, defer to an expert or actual lawyer as needed….it’s easy to slip and do something horrendously awful, hurtful, unethical or illegal when reporting on the law and especially criminal law. Let’s say your neighbour got arrested today and from what he told you plus your first-hand observations, it involves spousal abuse.
1. Wrong: “Boo Radley was arrested today on suspicion of assault”
Wrong because: getting arrested has nothing to do with charges. It only means ….getting arrested. Most fundamental rights deal with access to a fair trial. You need a first-person account from the DA, the accused or a verified statement from the CO of the jail or an attorney-bondsman to report whatever the police clipped him for. What Penal Codes a citizen is presumed to have violated by local cops and what the DA will or will not file at arraignment are often out-of-sync. Using law enforcement as a source makes Radley seem guilty.
Correct: “Boo Radley was taken into custody today by the OCSD and awaits arraignment.” (Says almost nothing–nothing is all that can be ethically written in a report at this point in time, best practice is to wait for his court date. Should an editor demand information, interview neighbours and report what they SAID. DO NOT report anything the police say unless it could harm someone physically if you DON’T)False legal reports are sloppy journalism, make us look like assholes AND meet the definition of libel should the charges be dropped or Radley found innocent.
2. Wrong: “versus” “Vs.” “vs”
Correct: ‘v.’ as in “Near v. Minnesota”
3. “An eye for an eye” – def. the punishment should fit the crime. The notion is a Judeo-Christian precept of mitigation, not extreme punishment.
Ex. It does NOT mean a convicted murderer should be executed. (It MIGHT SOMETIMES but it is does not automatically mean a governing body should ever commit the same crime as the accused) Whomever wrote that in the Gospels was attempting to blunt Roman criminal procedure, not enhance it or justify capital punishment.
g. Shorthand – keep it to your texts and FB. Not everyone knows what WTFOMGROFL or Rule 34 means. ttys and ttyl, emoticons and the like are too informal for professional communication. Use std. EN-US. (abbv. r ok. 4 emails tho!)
h. General – it’s impossible to edit and proof your OWN prose with 100 percent accuracy but we can do much to improve our prose and most of the time we write unedited. For publishing, print, marketing, labels, packaging, ads, etc…always print out your clip on black and white paper and proof it using ambient sunlight. The human eye is not used to reading accurately via projected LED/LCD/Cathode-Ray light. As an editor, I have a responsibility to return copy ERRORLESS (in this case the writer HAS the second pair of eyes needed – and they are mine), hence I don’t edit on-screen and I take my time…err…time permitting. NEVER trust a spell-checker.
Never misspell a person’s name. If you need to make a phone call to verify a name, make the call. Don’t be stupid. Spelling a name wrong is a cardinal sin to editors. After you’ve triple-checked them I double-check on top. Periodicals lose sources and blow investigations over this. People get really pissed when they see their name misspelled. If you work for a company that sells sh–, CUSTOMERS cancel accounts over misspelled names – Especially their own name and their company’s name. Verify titles as well, while Mr. Mrs. Ms. is outdated and not used per AP Style, “Dr.” “President” “Rev.” or appends like “Esq.” some incorporate these into their identity so if we fail to label them accurately, we may be saying goodbye to them permanently.
Use of “-” to modify a noun…getting too lazy to post rules, but every-time I used it in this post is done so correctly. Same for “who/whom”” which I also encourage you to review OR wait for version two of this post.
“Alot” is not a word in any language.
“Liaison” is spelled correctly.
Stop beginning every f–ing sentence with “I” –you’re better than that.
Check verb tenses and stop swapping them around in the same context it makes me physically ill.
“Alot” is not a word in any language.
“Liaison” is spelled correctly.
Stop beginning every f–ing sentence with “I” –you’re better than that.
Check verb tenses and stop swapping them around in the same context it makes me physically ill.

*US News and Periodicals are normally written at an eight-grade level to establish a “lower-bound” for language research indicates is understood by the MOST readers possible/practical. The exception being professional journals such as JAMA.
**Look it up I’m trying to keep this post concise
***Reference to the awful law enforcements agencies of Orange County California, The Sheriff’s Department and The District Attorney’s Office. They are not all bad, but most are. I lifted and re-wrote this joke wby George Carlin who also lived in this backwards, xenophobic, anti-Semitic wasteland.

Sources
Hogshire, James, “You Are Going To Prison” Loompanics. Lansing Michigan. 1994.
Goldstein, Norm, et at. “”AP Style Handbook and briefing on media law” The Associated Press. New York 2004.
SPJ Ethical Codes, avail.spj.org
Thomas Jefferson et al. “”The US Constituion” The Federal Government of The United States of America, 1787.
*Carlin, George, “Brain Droppings” Hyperion, New York, 1997.
Sagan, Carl, “Cosmos” Random House, New York, 1980.

Tapper “goes live” on MuseScore.com ….

Tapper's arr. of F Tuning...likely by Jack Meehan originally.

On a whim; we whipped up a quick and dirty transcription of Larry Shane’s epic Soprano lick from Concord’s 1991 program “Conversations in Jazz” —- used MuseScore v1.3 to create it not just for Bb trumpet but for Soprano Bugle in G for historical and nostalgic reasons. We were satisfied enough with the transcript to publish it live on the open-source software project’s official website . The file unexpectedly began trending immediately, despite it being essentially just five or six bars of only two voices IN UNISON, so an executive decision was made to arrange a longer, more fun to listen to track with at least a seven part harmony and an obscure key. “Relm’s Theme” from Final Fantasy III on the Super Nintendo was chosen, again, for nostalgic and historical reasons. We put a great deal of time into that arrangement and it is trending as I write this. Tomorrow people will listen to it in their cars on their way to work, In the park or on the Metro – or maybe with their favorite beverage. More iTunes playlists will include the work of this writer than ever before — so another executive decision was made to release “Lux Aeterna” which is VERY VERY MUCH an experimental WIP AND an innovative from-memory transcription-reboot of “SCV” the Bass Line beat The Santa Clara Vanguard plays as they “troop the line” on the track following a show. It is unknown to me whom actually composed “SCV” so default credit was given Ralph Hardimon and shoutouts to Murray Gussack, Jim Casella, (you can find them @Tapspace — total coincidence about the “Tap” thing — funny how things work out, Thanks again Skare ol’ buddy! Your gifts to my life are truly boundless) Mike “Eppy” Apodaca, Myron, Gail and every SCV Bass Line Veteran in existence.

Due to the unexpected and humbling success of taking these tracks live (listens and downloads are growing geometrically giving them potential to go viral) I dug around for my “Thumbs Up” arrangement which you can easily locate, read and listen to in 33-part harmony here on this site, but the original project file is toast, so I’ll have to rebuild it from scratch — we upgraded to version 2.0.1 today which contains tons of enhanced functionality so my arrangement of Jack Meehan’s famous on-field warm-up “F Tuning” (which is technically C tuning C-C5-Ctriad-FM-GM-CM rpt 3x …crescendo, layer and build from downbeat to cutoff + an “amen” double C’s and at least one triple E …hehheh…you know….)

Anyhoo, srsly check this shit out you guys! I’m really proud of the Relm arrangement and confidant I put enough legwork in to make it legally AND ethically ok to publish (if it were not – I WOULD NOT; per SPJ Ethics Code and applicable US Copyright Laws) In this writers legal opinion, as the track goes through CPI and if it continues to trend, I may be asked to monetize on behalf of SQUARE-ENIX and the original composer – Nobuo Uematsu. I’m happy to do that. I worship their games and his music. I seek no financial gain in this venture. I’m arranging and transcribing music because it is intellectually and artistically fulfilling + I remain an insatiable attention whore…hence “we” are quite optimistic and excited to explore the potential of MuseScore v2.0.1 tomorrow and hopefully upload v2 of “Relm” w/in the next two days. If the html they gave me works – it will embed below. If not, just go to MuseScore.com and look me up – you know what to search for – v2 will also be featured in the next Tapcast (also doing unexpectedly well on iTunes) along with a true story that will either fascinate you or convince you beyond reasonable doubt that I have officially lost my fucking mind. Much love to my regulars and visitors…now put your damn headphones on, listen to the track and get back to work, ok?….and try the veal – don’t forget to tip your waitress. Srsly lolzorz, -t

Relm’s Theme from Final Fantasy III arr. Tapper by Tapper7

Postscript: since the embedding does in fact work – plz forgive the typo A-relative minor, NOT A# –as much qualms as I have about B-flat, A-sharp does not completely exist in my world. #AMIRITE?

*Amber Alert*

LA/OC*Amber Alert* 06 Gray Nissan Altima was seen leaving the port…he’ll probably take the 710 to the 405, the 5, the or the 1. Keep you’re eyes peeled let’s reel this one in. I think he’ll take the 405 south but duck out to side streets now that he knows he’s on blast.

Yarrr….Impossible it be….

oo draw design by tapperNotes: The prisoner was arrested for serving stale shellfish, upon executing a search warrant, LAPD officers found him in his “office” (a broom closet) attempting to convert a MIDI file he found online into an arrangement for something he called a “Drum and bugle corps” (????) the prisoner’s identitiy is unknown but he bears a striking resemblance to actor Rip Torn, who passed away a few yrs ago. His voice also seemed to resemble that of Harry Shearer. The prisoner kept shouting that he “hated” the “Pirates of the Carribean” but the “the music was really cool” (???????). Submitted to LACDA pending positive ID. Booked into LAC Twin Towers facility – 1/27/15.

Here is a PDF of the an arrangement draft: He-s-a-Pirate
Check out the psycho who inspired a worse psycho to create this post.
The California Health & Safety Code.

damn…I totally realized how much I miss Rip Torn while writing this…. “Yar……I’m ….unattractive.lulz.

Now get back to work ….Tap.

 

The California Register *Special Edition* drops….

a shot of the hard copy. The California Register. January 2015. Buster the cadaver-sniffing dog is featured; so is police corruption/laziness and/or incompetence.

….and this writer is responsible for a great deal of the content.


If you did not receive a copy of the edition in your mail or PO Box today…I published a PDF of the prototype below so you can enjoy my words as much as I enjoyed writing them. A full copy of the paper in finalized “ATP” as-is form should be avail. to me soon.
This is not EXACTLY what was printed, but now that it’s out there, here is the editorial as it was initially laid out … the Approved to Print copy is a hair different but my words and are essentially equivalent.
Por Vous: B7 to B8 prototype*
Viva la voce y la pluma libre! The subversive graphic…defacing a Cal Poly “concrete welcome slab” electronically by this writer and published a few months back on this site as dark-satire… (MADE in MSPAINT!) is published as-is in the paper…I admire the chutzpah shown by the publisher of this seriously cool newspaper. His name is David Smallwood and is known as “Pismo Dave” in the Five Cities area.

Por Democracy: viva la marketa libre’! Lee la advert abajo. Gracias!

*CalPoly: Burying the past to protect our future and all pictures and graphics associated with it are the intellectual property of Chris Welke, please obtain permission before sharing/reproducing/copying/printing/etc. Thanks! More to come ASAP. Stay tuned dear reader…and grab your coat cuz it’s gonna be long one. []

Open during construction….

a memeorial poster showing Japanese Zeroes dropping bombs on PH.

Some slides, just cuz…

  • \
  • With Pooh Bear. RIP Big Bro....
  • 1997 Santa Clara Big Bores with Dean Westman and Jeb.
  • 96 VK Big Bores. RIP Ray Arias.
  • 1994 CVHS Leads
  • With Alisha....04 Banquet
  • Me n Michelle, in MS
  • Tapper n Joey B!
  • Me n Bill Watrous
  • Me n Beetlejuice
You could say this writer’s been pretty busy….you could say this writer sits on his ass all day. Whatever the case may be, the priority has been write a decent editorial for The California Register and setup/configure the hardware and software this li’l creative project known as Tapper7.com is going to need moving into the future.
I recorded episode zero of Season 1 of the Tapper7 Podcast. It’s not suitable for primetime or late-night, but I thought it was fun to make and once I figure out the specifics of creating a [1400px X 1400px] graphic and configuring the RSS feed I’m just gonna drop the m-fer.
So….if you are one of my valued readers in San Luis Obispo County….check your mailbox. You might see an editorial written by some idiot named “Chris Welke.” **UPDATE** Breaking news in the Kristen Smart Case has forced the editorial staff to place the holiday edition ON-HOLD ’till January.
“Expect us.” In your mailbox next year. We are NOT anonymous.
I had to scrap the PHP for this site and we’re…sort of starting from scratch. we ARE doing a full-on redesign.
For now it’s simply choosing a theme — I made a few customization’s, the site WORKS. you can read/access the information presented here…especially if you are a new visitor and end up here as a result of my upcoming piece in The Register and want to know a li’l more about the subversive, OCD, schizoid pseudo-intellectual known as Chris Welke.
Please make use of the comment section on any article if you want to throw me under the bus, compliment me or threaten to kill me…..I love comments. I publish them unedited.
Not counting spam, which has not gotten past our security ONCE since September. It makes creating content a trillion times easier but also throws off-would-be commenters. You can always hit me up direct w/o all the CAPTCHAS and math problems by sending an EMAIL (I know…) to:

chris@tapper7.com. If you would like your note to appear as a comment, you MUST wade through my system … as SNL called it back-in-the-day, this is a “ruining it for everybody” situation and I apologize on behalf of India and Red-state spam-bot builders who r—- the comment section on this site.
Follow the links regarding My Dearly Departed Better Half if you are interested in contributing to my/her work….after all…Dominique deserves all the credit. I learned to report at Poly…Dominique taught me how to WRITE. This time of year
….I really really really REALLY MISS HER BAD.
If you want to support this Web site…scope out the sponsors you see peppered around here. It’s easy to do, you don’t have to buy anything from them….just…check ’em out, you might even find a great holiday gift. Afterall, the algorithm matched ME and MY CONTENT with YOU and your known preferences. Google knows more about you than YOU do…so why not let them help you shop. Think the algorithm knows it’s neary Xmas and that you still have gifts to buy? Is that the dumbest f—ing question ever?
Forgive the awful aesthetics seen here while I put the finishing touches on more pressing WIPs.
Lots of music reviews, movie madness, tech reviews, cringe humor and the prose you hate to love is coming back on a regular basis with a vengeance so don’t trip-out on that dear reader.
“We” (I keep acting like there’s a team behind this juvenile artistic endeavor) will also be presenting a year-end tech review…we’ll pay tribute to all the devices that were damaged, lost, destroyed or taken prisoner (clipped) in the line of duty to bring Tapper-creative content straight to your dome all year long.

…a personal thanks to the people BESIDES ME who really DO help make it happen and the bloggers who qualified for my upcoming SHORTLIST: Tapper7.com’s “Blogs that don’t suck 2014.”

I’ve reviewed almost 4500 blogs this year for comparison, education and because I get REALLY BORED and LONELY sometimes….regardless, I’ve located about five…..FIVE!!! Count ’em FIVE blogs that are informative, creative, original, have a nice design, are NOT a scam and NOT completely full of shit.
We will honor and highlight those blogs because, well this is MY blog and I’m the shot-caller HERE if nowhere else….I also want to spread “the good-good” since all year I mostly just put “the all-bad” on f—ing BLAST.”
We MAY also put businesses, Web sites, people and places on BLAST for f-ing me, someone else or society over…just to stir up some s—.
….haven’t decided what to call THAT list yet.**UPDATE – Negative articles ON HOLD till holidays close, be ready though, this list would make my ol’ neighbor Dick Nixon VERY PROUD.” (Except for the not-keeping-it-a-secret-part). F— it.
No matter…thx for YOUR patronage most of all. If you enjoyed this site in 2014 – 2015’s going to keep you informed, entertained and maybe even laughing, SLIGHTLY MORE THAN 2014 DID!

There WILL be lots of music and movie-related comment and commentary.
The Podcast WILL launch or I’ll die trying.
Drum Corps will be visited and revisited and beat to death as usual.
If law enforcement fucks with me, you or anyone else, I WILL REPORT IT. Just like 2014…OCSD ON BLAST! (Nice time to shoot a black guy at HOLLYWOOD AND HIGHLAND BTW ….fucking LAPD man…..)…let’s get all mixed-up in the NY/Boston/Chicago/St.Louis race-baiting-racist-above-the-law-COP-fucking BULLSHIT cuz in LA….things go GREAT when the black population [overtly shit on constantly] loses their collective tempers, doesn’t it? hmmmm?
Rodney King, Watts, … Reginald Denny’s brick-to-the-kisser at Florence & Normandy? Yeah…let’s DO THAT AGAIN.<–sarcasm
OCSD, LAPD, SLOPD, OCDA, SLODA….you suck. [MOST OF YOU]: You’re awful. Incompetent, Incapable, Corrupt, Racist, Trigger-Happy, sneaky, full of shit and I sincerely hope you get AIDs in 2015 if you haven’t been diagnosed yet.
Oh yeah…that’s what I wanted to say…especially with the ultimate demise of The OnA Show and the fervor with which all humorists miss one of our own…one of our best. He’s black too. <= and would’ve loved that joke.
Patrice O’Neal…RIP Big Dawg. In HIS HONOR-THERE WILL BE AIDS JOKES.
And to the Japanese high command that bombed the hell out of Pearl Harbor 73 years ago…how’d that work out for ya? Get a nice face-full of Oak Ridge Laboratories and The United States Marine Corps? Ya DID didn’t ya?

Semper Fi.

Adverts.js test -or- How to fix truncated Javascript in WP.

A picture of the www.goto.com logo

Subtitle: How to fix a WP crash remotely using FTP.

synban: script keeeps truncating right half of .js embedded content. **Update 12/14 – fixed.**
***Update Dec. 2014*** PHP Flush did the trick…thx Cuz.***

Start by dumping that theme you love so much: bad news…like me you had a few OCD breaks w/ reality and overdid the CSS/JS/HTML4-5 editing to “pretty it up” it’s ok I did it too

1. Choose a new and dressed-down theme.
2. Crack a book on CSS or goto the only free tutorial sponsored by the w3c: and use their CSS Roadmap.
3. Backup your WP data, I suggest an FTP client. You may need to contact your host-server for admin and file-swapNswitch capabilities.
4. Backup your current themes/fxns/data and style before you tear it up. One pHp syntax error and it’s CURTAINS-then you WILL need FTP to get it back up n runnin’
5. If you are not qualified; have your kid do it.

***I owe it to my sponsors to make sure they have access to all of Google’s std lib. of adTypes, so you’ll see mostly ads in this post. This is only a test but the sponsor data displayed is no less relevant.****

***Update Dec. 2014 – 728px exceeds width oftext box. WIP***
Sponsor .js test Horizontal Basic 728×90 follows:
**UPDATE**  dec2014a : 728×90 no good for posts, footer/header only. Ad removed.

Btw after all that shit Content ID put me through for no reason?
May as well fire back:
If you know how to use t0awr@ntz…script:
Xsh%>run \t ^^^^^
Xsh%>browser “HYPTXXfercntrlPrtcll// the(Yarrrrrr!!!!)DOTessee”
Xsh%>inject pr0n.getName || flick.getName || whatevuhz
Xsh%>queryDB
Xsh%>hash etz string[]* argvector V
DO: Raise middle finger in the direction of your choice.

Synchronous Advertisement Test 320×100 follows:


Asynchronous Advertisement Test 320×100 follows: 
**TEST TBC…** Special shoutout to our generous and well-respected advertisers….check ’em out…they were designed FOR you WHEN you visit MY site. The algorithm was written by Goto.com a decade ago, still in use and as close to an AI (Artificially Intelligent) program I have seen to date. GoTo retired on the settlement $ w/ Google. Plz scope out their site; I used it quite often in college.

Credit where credit is due: visit GoTo for searches and to find a nice gift for loved one.goto.com is Tapper7 approved safe, secure, honest and NOT a scam – just legit and hyper-talented webdevs.