Historical – Page 2

February 7, 2016February 7, 2016

Popular mobile devices for 2016 …. who cares? you do!

– source my site’s analytical javascript; courtesy of Advertising monolith GOOGLE.

Not shown – many of my readers opt out of being spied on constantly, the sample size is big enough for us however – we are looking at about 3,000 unique HUMAN visitors.

Number 10 … Motorola XT1080 Droid Ultra – I thought they made pagers, what are you doing on my site w/ your beeper?

Number 9 … Microsoft Windows RT Tablet – uh what the hell is that? The Surface maybe? I tried the keyboard on that pos once and that was it for me. To each his own [crappy mobile device!]

Number 8….The iPod – there you go! I have one too…save $ on the data by using wifi …I had my last one so long I wore it down to nothing and hucked it for $30, but all the time vested in “Clash of Clans” and “Smule Magic Piano” was all 4 naught till I replaced it. Thanks again, mom! (the data doesn’t reflect my own testing of the site using said iPod – about 25 of you have one…or your kids do, in which case you need to check the settings…my site is clearly labeled “mature” so junior can’t read about murder, government corruption, drugs from paprika to sodium pentethol and jokes that veer on the side of xenophobic, racially insensitive, chauvinistic and intentionally offensive more oft. Than not …nu?

Number 7 ….Samsung SM-N910V Galaxy Note 4 getting to the popular pocket-rockets here, which leads us to

Number 6 …. Samsung SM-G900V Galaxy S5 – ok so thats those of u who upgraded due to

generous family holiday gift
you lost your s4
your s4 was stolen
you will die if you dont upgrade, so…you did…thats cool I aint no judge…only 1 of those! -or-
you used the s4 to “go upside the head” on a hopefully deserving recipient, or worse, you really lost it and just blasted it against the wall….since 20 percent of my beloved readers are females, we must not leave out
DROPPED IN TOILET.

Number 5. The LG D850 G3 – a decent phone – Androids round out nearly half the top 10. make sure you invest at least $15 in a case this phone is beyond expensive..the LG4 will be off the chain expensive. Kinda big but it fits in most pockets.

Number 4. The LG-H810/H81010b G4 …ok so it is out …no big surprise there

Number 3. The bronze medal mobile device for fledgling 2016 is …the iPad – im not told if you use the 1 or the 2 – I figure that of the 1000 of you….800 have the 2

Number 2. your silver cell is the Google Nexus….north of 1500 of you bought one last year “just like yer told to…” and speaking of doing what your told, the winner of the 4-week-best-paper-weight to follow your hero Donald “Quacker” TRUMP is…[buzz-roll plz…..]

Number 1. you know what it is. Why waste precious prose. There is a 70 percent chance it is in your hand right now. Read the label; yeah…the newest one…you shameless bastard. It’s why you’re my reader and one of the reasons I love you so much – no shame -no regrets- fuck it. You have the most desirable mobile device in existence because you CAN. Bravo sir (or madam)

advert from Evil Corps follows–

January 26, 2016June 4, 2016

Vietnam wins again, CJX Jailbreak #ocjailbreak …. some notes ….

sandra and company, i added text parodying an ad for old fox cops tv show, saying you can watch them fuk up live every morning on fox..also "eat a dick"

As of this moment, 100s of dipshit COs, deputies, cops, feds, CHP and misc. law enforcement investigators are still looking for the three men found missing from the Orange County Jail, called “CJX” by locals – One of the escapees is alleged to’ve attacked a Weed dispensary, one victims body was found almost charbroiled, with his junk stuffed in his mouth and his body dumped carelessly slack in the IE, the younger, middle-aged and older men are facing federal charges from kidnapping to Murder 1 to “torture.” (I dont know how to define torture…do you?- hence quotations marks…..by all accounts, each man is looking at life, probably the chair …so… they busted the fuck outta the hoose-cow and are likely off-continent. I gotta confess, this site and writer has longtime held that the OCSD is incompetent, CJX is “cruel & unusual” & never do the accused get a fair trial from OCDA…....so, we are rooting for these men to make a full escape. (with the possible exception of the towel-wrapper) Best would be to a country that doesn’t have extradition with the US. WHY ON EARTH are we rooting for these guys? ok ….a little background. This news item brings up a few major topics:
1. Vietnamese People in Orange County
2. Vietnam
3. The dynamic nature of weed & “the law”
4. The 50s, 60s, 70s …and TODAY! (just like now-defunct FM radio!!)
5. The Vietnam War
6. People from Orange County
7. Strange-overly-conservative-time-machine political views and racial divides.
8. CJX
9. Lighting people on fire
10. A Vietnamese Necktie (I’m coining that one, you get your wang and nuts chopped, shoved in mouth, set on fire and buried then buried off the 91 fwy)
11. Racism in Orange County
12. How Orange County is fundamentally polarized from Los Angeles, though they border each other
13. Gaming it out...Escape from CJX, Revenge of The Men in The Yellow Pajamas.
We’ll address all this crazy shit as it unfolds and as I get this absurd editorial organized, it’s gonna be a long one…..tbc afternoon, Tuesday…
Here at HQ we are not as concerned as all other media and law enforcement outlets, looking into the alleged crime, we’re talking EXTREMELY PERSONAL AND PRE-MEDITATED, NOT random violence. Extremely doubt any SoCal residents are in danger and I DOUBT the three are still Stateside, closest they are to here is Mexico, and the Sheriff is caught with her pants down for running a shitty facility EVERYONE HATES CUZ IT VIOLATES BASIC HUMAMN RIGHTS! Reap what you sow …retards at OCSD and 98 percent of the COs at CJX, you suck, you bring nothing to the table and everyone knows it. Sandra, you can be like Mike Carona and resign in disgrace hehehehehehhehlolzorz. -ed
Come back for more soon! – tap
****Most recent AP dispatch courtesy, LA Times, OC Register not even following major story haha they suck too! gotta love it when it’s OC epic fail everywhere but here and in the minds of three other former residents of North America’s ONLY Medieval Dungeon!…the latest.

****evening****I left some hard truths as comments (questionable whether that level/qty of truth violates their “comment policy”) on the Mother Jones site which I understand to be a legit journalism publication, the writer is from OC and mentions the story as an after -thought…but the comments show this is no puff-piece. This was planned, organized, daring, cunning, timed perfectly, executed with serious cojones…the local media and authorities are already shying away from the story.
They’ve lost & they know it. I saw a lieutenant, he drifts off into “staff-meeting-double-speech” — he’s all flustered, talking in circles, he knows the Vietnamese community ain’t gonna talk – he’s an officer – as bad as OCSD is…the officers aren’t stupid, categorically, they know what’s up….

….The main alleged escapee? The noose-tyer? He’s juiced-in! He’s high power…connected! you guys groovin’ on what im jivin’ here? Go watch a Scorcese movie and get back to me…Jesus!“allright, I’m gonna go have a smoke, what, you don’t smoke?? what are you…one of those fitness freaks? ..just kidding go fuck yourself.” Alec Baldwin, from “The Departed” – tap

***1800 hours, Monday*** the only other media site besides…yes this one…to touch the story was CNN, three hours ago… headline “SoCal Residents on edge” …ok … journalistic-ally we can go hunt for one dummy to say that on record, but it isn’t true. No one who lives here with an IQ above 60 or an education above 3rd grade is “scared.” Let’s give CNN the benefit of the doubt…”Doung” jumps in my window right now, armed. I’d give him a meal and a beer and fucking congratulate him….but…let’s face it…I’m glad I at least jumped on this story while it was lukewarm…cuz im gettin the feelin, this is over. All three men got away clean. Unless the towel-wrapper joins that weired “Arab State”-thing, whatver the fuck that is …. the two slants? They’re looooooooooong gone…even if they went south they are 1000 miles south of me….and I’m nearly 50 miles from 550 North Flower aka County Jail – Mens Central aka CJX – where I can tell you this, the entire facility will remain on 24-hour lockdown indefinately, for those of you who’ve never jaywalked, that means NO SHOWERS, NO HOT FOOD, NO LEAVING ANY CELL FOR ANY REASON…AND THE INSIDE-LIGHTS ARE LIKELY ON AS BRIGHT AS POSSIBLE (you try to sleep w/o darkness for weeks, months…years…at a time (???) good Lord can we start treating those men with some humanity? Many at CJX have not been convicted…of even a single crime…even jaywalking. Major Case trials drag thru the 1st ROUND of trial for years…and the convicted don’t “get” (trust me) to go to prison until they are convicted of a felony by a jury or adjudicator. ok … be back soon dear reader -ed.

****early am 1/27**** – Doung still long gone…no more Duong guys…. The bold list of topics listed at top of this piece are a WIP – I’d like to address some important historical facts about life behind the Orange Curtain you may not be aware of, even if you live here…as always, information, bad jokes and putting the COPS on BLAST (which is the sworn duty of any journalist worth his or her salt) …. we are having fun sticking the truth right up in their dumb faces, that is for sure. I made the absurd graphic semi-meme to replace the other featured image, which I technically stole from The Times, so I wanted to admit that I did that – used it as a place-holder and made something original myself as priority. You can also visit the Los Angeles Times for more on this story – objective and cutting editorial. The Times always has and always will be a pillar of altruistic, ethical journalism and I salute all reporters, editors, photogs, techs and publishers. Your plug is gratis, below is a sponsored link; if you enjoy my brand of crazy, I encourage you to support our little site by visiting their site; I will never ask you buy anything from me, ever. We advertise; that’s how it works. You don’t pay, they do. Plz support them & in so doing …support News, comment, OCD and the Jewish-controlled media, we would like more $ from Google so…ok end of rant – from the Publisher’s desk.

December 28, 2015May 3, 2018

Let’s play…I mean…create a prototype ’13’ deck aka Korean Poker!

If you are like me you played this addictive game at lunch, on the bus, during class…whatever you played it constantly because it’s seriously fun and a great way to pass the time. At Capo Valley, we loved this game because it was winnable even if you were dealt a shitty hand, the game encouraged a great deal of shit-talking and merriment. We’d also enhanced it with “insult rules” such as, while dealing, you throw a few of them face-up, just to piss off whoever you want to piss off. It also lended itself to so much cheating that we overlayed a rule; “If no one saw it, it wasn’t cheating.” Technically that is true in the absolute…the difference is that we encouraged cheating because it added more layers of fun, strategy, dexterity, options to win…the perfect game for college-prep band geeks who think to much and are fiercely competitive.
Common ways to cheat when you re the dealer is place a card you want on the bottom of the deck, dealing, 13 cards to each player beginning with west, you get the final card. Desirable cards include the 3 of clubs (whomever holds this card goes 1st…it is much like other games where whomever runs out 1st wins, going 1st on a good hand could end it). The ace of hearts is valued – any run ending in this card is unbeatable (thus you get to go again). Likewise, the 2 of hearts is valued for being the highest card – it is not unbeatable (a two-killer is a double-run-of-three such as 4,4,5,5,6,6) but it’s always nice to have, especially late in the game when most pairs and runs are likely to be all down. Another great way to cheat it to simply hide a card (or two, or more…) wherever you can hide it. The best place seemed to be under the left thigh or up my right sleeve. Another “layered” rule is that if you are caught cheating you forfeit the game (and winning if gambling is involved) – simply trying to look at other people’s cards is another surprisingly easy way cheat.
I won’t waste time with any more specific rules…most of you have never played it…still, the f-ed up ways to mess with the game applies to all of them (and that only scratches the surface) and you can apply the tenets and ideas in this post to YOUR preferred card game.
On topic – I’ve been brushing up on mu Java programming again so as a thought experiment I began to build a “Card” class (ADT, data-type, etc). Once I got that to work I decided to test it by creating an array (a list) of them and ordering them in the exact order they would go in 13. On higher level of this project are the following:

A Deck Class
A 13 Class
A user-interface for the game itself

For now, I simply used my Card data-type to see if I could use a nested-for loop to populate the deck with cards as they from low to high in the game of 13. Software Engineers know that regardless of language, arrays begin at zero. In an object-oriented mode, I decided that “zero” had so little to do with cards/decks/card-games that I would use a place-holder for it. What else is not used…I mean…in actual card games? For most; the Joker(s), so in the interest of something w/in striking distance of elegant design; (in pseuodocode) 0=(string)”joker”
The following is the output from a Deck prototype, which hints at an actual 13 prototype, which is a thought experiment for the future…particularly the design of three players who can plot against me…and..on an absurd level of abstraction…try to cheat me if the opportunity comes up and allow me to cheat the non-player-characters.

Below is the successful output from the v0 prototype of a 13-Deck
run: whomever gets the 3 of spades goes first.
The following list will create a deck of 52 cards in ’13’ order
1. created the 3 of spades
2. created the 3 of clubs
3. created the 3 of diamonds
4. created the 3 of hearts
5. created the 4 of spades
6. created the 4 of clubs
7. created the 4 of diamonds
8. created the 4 of hearts
9. created the 5 of spades
10. created the 5 of clubs
11. created the 5 of diamonds
12. created the 5 of hearts
13. created the 6 of spades
14. created the 6 of clubs
15. created the 6 of diamonds
16. created the 6 of hearts
17. created the 7 of spades
18. created the 7 of clubs
19. created the 7 of diamonds
20. created the 7 of hearts
21. created the 8 of spades
22. created the 8 of clubs
23. created the 8 of diamonds
24. created the 8 of hearts
25. created the 9 of spades
26. created the 9 of clubs
27. created the 9 of diamonds
28. created the 9 of hearts
29. created the 10 of spades
30. created the 10 of clubs
31. created the 10 of diamonds
32. created the 10 of hearts
33. created the J of spades
34. created the J of clubs
35. created the J of diamonds
36. created the J of hearts
37. created the Q of spades
38. created the Q of clubs
39. created the Q of diamonds
40. created the Q of hearts
41. created the K of spades
42. created the K of clubs
43. created the K of diamonds
44. created the K of hearts
45. created the A of spades
46. created the A of clubs
47. created the A of diamonds
48. created the A of hearts
49. created the 2 of spades
50. created the 2 of clubs
51. created the 2 of diamonds
52. created the 2 of hearts
QA test The highest ranking card in 13 is the 2 of hearts
BUILD SUCCESSFUL (total time: 0 seconds)

It works! Created using the Netbeans IDE 8.0.2 on a win8.1 box using the Java SE 8 or Java 1.8 as I call it. SRC follows:
package card; /** WIP - create a card ADT and enumerate it into a deck per "13" rules aka Korean Poker @author Tapper7.com last stable build - 12/15 &c ssstudios, los angeles, ca */ public class Card{ int suit; int rank; Card(){ this.suit = 0; this.rank = 0; }//null constr Card(int suit, int rank){ this.suit = suit; this.rank = rank; } public static void showCard(Card theCard){ //cards are ranked as they are in 13 aka korean poker //"jokers" hold null memory space so we arent using zeroes String[] s = {"joker", "spades", "clubs", "diamonds", "hearts"}; String[] r = {"joker", "3", "4", "5", "6", "7", "8", "9", "10", "J", "Q", "K", "A", "2"}; System.out.println(r[theCard.rank] + " of " + s[theCard.suit]); } public static void main(String[] args){ //create an array of cards Card[] mydeck = new Card[54]; //array is oversized for debug mydeck[0] = new Card(1,1); //initialize //test that the lowest card is created correctly System.out.print("whomever gets the "); Card.showCard(mydeck[0]); System.out.println("goes first."); //populate the 13 deck in order from low to high int currentCard = 1; int suits = 1; int ranks = 1; System.out.println("The following list will create a deck of 52 cards in '13' order"); for(ranks = 1; ranks < 14; ranks++){//outerloop ranks from 3,4,5....J,Q,K,A,2 for(suits = 1; suits < 5; suits++){ mydeck[currentCard] = new Card(suits, ranks); System.out.print(currentCard+". "); System.out.print(" created the "); Card.showCard(mydeck[currentCard]); currentCard++; //increment deck position }//end inner loop }//end outer loop //test that the algorithm put the highest card in the correct index: System.out.print("*QA test* The highest ranking card in 13 is the "); Card.showCard(mydeck[52]); }//end mn }//end prototype

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December 26, 2015June 4, 2016

RIP Myron Rosander ….

Credit, love, reverence, respect, humility, mourning, appreciation, honor, perseverance, integrity, indomitable spirit, courage, love and hope. These are just a few of the words that come to mind when I think about my favorite educator who later became a close friend and confidante. Rosander was there when a father-figure was needed most. When all I needed was a friend to talk to, lament and connect through shared experience as friends – he was there for that too.
Readers of this site know that the publisher is a pragmatic man of science (who is less on the religious side, yet heavy on the spirituality). Forgive me but, the majority of the New Testament isn’t all that plausible to me. No; I don’t believe; as Carl Sagan said “I do not BELIEVE anything; there are only things that I know and things that I do NOT know…” Does this make me a “Commie-atheist-Jew-bastard”? yeah, it does – the assertion is partially true and it does not insult me on any level. I digress.

In contrast to all the logic, axioms, proofs and lemmas that build the world I Know exists….Myron was a magical, super-human person with the ability to perform magic. How is this insanity possible? I was there the “Night Myron Brought the Lightning.” Looking back I cant confirm or deny that he had control of forces unknown; yet benefited from greatly. On the night in question, the 17-yr old version of me was convinced that if there were ..say..”gods“…that he HAD to be one of them.

You can locate Spike’s youtube vids and/or order his book for an excellent recounting of this and many other magical moments that transcend anything we can understand — though THAT NIGHT?… no one, not the Elks who’d just toasted us (given thank-you speeches in our “honor” and showered us with kilos of spaghetti and tears) not the staff, the management or even the OG Consultants can explain exactly what happened that night or how he did what he did….only that it was the only way to get our immature heads out of the clouds and back to reality. We’d recently been winning shows almost every night, we had the highest score in the country (~91.3) and Drum Corps World ranked us #1. It went to our heads. I knew the show we’d done before retiring to the lodge was flat, weak …in fact it was lazy; “mailed in” – the crowd still ate it up along with the victory concert that followed.*still* – we could’ve given 10x more; for some reason; we chose NOT to. Some corps peak early and their score reflects it…experienced it myself in 1996 – The Velvet Knights – we peaked somewhere in the midwest, where our best shows were … [and a few in the north-east] – our score pushed 80 but never broke it; at DCI, we finished 16th …south of 75.

Myron had the foresight to realize the 1997 Vanguard was at risk of peaking in late July/early August, which would mean we’d “get our shit tossed” at DCI. He never cared about the score; nor do I — a show that pleased him would please any judge – so simply showing up with the super-suit on, game-facing it, leaving 200 percent on the field and creating emotional moments the audience could connect and feel were guaranteed to jack-up the score (ideally…ahem) Many judges are hard-core fans at heart and will reward the corps that moves them the most with the show’s crown; even if it wasn’t technically the best-technically-executed-show that night. nu?
On the night in question; for its time w/in the season & tour; the show was technically near-perfect. No tears, no drops, no clams, perfect drill with perfect technique…no out-of-stepness. The judges rewarded us because other div one corps; Rockford, Rosement, Canton, Boston, Madison; we’d left all of them far behind weeks ago – sadly, it led a reason to rest on laurels and get lazy — cuz thats what kids do. We were kids and most of the nothings, vets, super-vets and staff were also..technically…kids.
After the show my friend and teacher/tech, Brian Belski pulled me aside and warned me – (I knew we’d mailed in a show, but I thought we’d get away w/ it because of the reception, the victory and soon-coming opportunity to do it up right at the next show). What I did not know was that Myron was beyond-furious…and not just at the corps. Belski’d ridden back to the lodge in the staff bus and witnessed the magic-man stewing. Belski warned me a dreadfully long and painful chewing-out and shaming was on deck and could hit at any time – also that he was equally pissed at the staff.
That was my favorite moment; halfway through our “new-asshole-tearing” (as the lightning began to gather) he turned around to where the leadership was hiding — some of them perhaps thinking they were immune to his wrath.
As the berating crescendo-ed from mezzo-forte to fuck-you-loud; Myron swung a full 180– AT THAT MOMENT; IN TIME WITH THE EXCLAM. ON THE END OF HIS NEXT STATEMENT–WAS THE FIRST LIGHTNING STRIKE…

“[spin] AND THE STAFF!!!!!! [KrackBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!] [EXPLETIVE DELETED EXPLETIVE DELETED ETC]…as he held every man and woman within the sound of his impossibly projected voice responsible and vilified us all; an intense electrical storm commenced; the strikes were close; so there was no delay between flashes and bangs. The marcatos, accents and sforzandos of his most venomous invective were all infused with summer’s most violent strikes from a pitch-black-sky. The more angry he got; the more the lightning gravitated to him and for a few inexplicable moments – the dark forest of upstate New York seared with incendiary, passionate, pitiless rage … emotionally or physically, none was left unburnt by what is still the most inexplicable moment of my life.
I just don’t see how that couldve been a convenient coincidence, dear reader. He knew he had to save the corps from peaking early, he knew it was crucial he got the bullet points thru the thick skulls of every one of us; so he made it happen.

In my life; I have not mailed in a musical performance even once since that fateful show.He brought the corps up. he brought me up [time and time again]. We peaked at Finals; that’s the goal of a div 1 corps or a world-class sr. corps. PEAK AT FINALS. We were ale to do it as performers and the staff was able to help us achieve that; thanks to his guidance; beginning with a rude awakening.

A magical awakening. from a magical man. We will love and remember him forever.

On that note; I was reminded on fb by fellow tbn-player and one of the best Mellophone Bugle players I’ve ever heard (Matt Carol) that “he could teleport!” I was warned early on that he had this power. The man was intimidating for certain; and the first time I met him he informed me that by only drinking water during a 2-min water break – I was wasting about 1 minute that could be used to work on my horn-snap…my horn-salute…my high-mark-time…whatever..just…

“take the goddamn initiative and work on bettering yourself w/o having to be asked; don’t let me ever see you just standing there like an idiot during rehearsal.”

“Yes sir,” I said, setting down my water jug and bringing my horn to a carry and running a portion of the timing exercise.

That was in March; and I was used to being abused by viz staff the previous year on a far more cruel scale at vk; hence it didnt bother me that my days of “kicking it” when the staff gave us a break LONGER that an “in&out” were OVER JOHNNY [that means run, drink water, run back and set at a pistol, posssibly at minus1]

That same day I realized he could easily teleport from side 1 to side 2, from side 2 to the stands, from the stands to the box, from the box to backfield….and at times when I couldn’t see him; I conducted myself as though he could…a good idea; because it was in those instances when he’d suddenly appear behind me and pointout that I’d again failed to hit his[my] dot. Myron gave me a handful of crucial drill spots in the 97 show. In the intro “Lonely Town” we all toe-1st out-of time and crescendo to a heart-shaped-form…I was the point at the top of that heart. Same for the biggest hit in the opener “On the waterfront” – the drum feature is followed by a horn-snap, and me playing+jazz-running to what resolves in unison concert C at fortissiissimo, the visual resolve was a massive bow-tie, which hinges on the center of the X it will form – that’s me. (what an honor!) …then we get 8 beats of respite backfield, after which Myron’s amazing Avalanche begins….you could say im in one the 2 most “screwed spots” – geometrically, the bottom left & right drill spots will have to jazz-run backwards at a full-clip-full-extension 4 to 5, the direction change and jazz-run forward for same.

This and many other drill moves were certain to be completely ruined if I did not nail my set (even early season) this means that frequently I was gauging those extremely exposed drill spots on-the-fly in real time – in the moment say, the “center of a giant X” could be up to 5 yards from where it is written to be. I quickly learned a disdain for so-called “dot-marchers.”

me- ‘move back’
asshole – [looking at dot book] “im on my dot”
me- “fuck your dot-book – look at the form, you’re out of it..next time? the dot book goes down your throat after I plug your mouthpiece”
asshole – “ok” [but god-help-him] –if he shook his head, rolled his eyes or [unimaginable to Myron’s students] threw his hands up the air.

Did Myron teach me to treat some students harshly, threaten them and demand unquestioning fealty, sometimes via fear/intimidation? –NO. I was already primed to be a complete dick. Did he make it easier for me to write/teach and clean drill for bands and winter guards [and div2 corps?] YES!

To a well-examined, well-lived, never-to-be-forgotten life. L’chaim!

PS – to my ‘corps’ readers – I began to compile historical anecdotes about Myron right here at tapper7.com/LoveForMyron a few months back. If you’d like to add one, you can submit it to the editor for review — email your story (stories), your name, nickname, section, full dc experience + [obviously] yr & or years you marched scv – as the page is titled; anyone who loves the man is entitled to an opportunity to have their words appear. Note -though about a 5th of you are … there is no need to be an alumni of scv a or b to post…only that your story is a)true and b)from the heart. thx! submit to the webmaster (submit!!!) chris@tapper7.com

*legal notice* consider that all americans have a right to privacy in writing your anecdotes. all content is edited for style, syntax, grammar, fact-checked and may be modified for compliance with US Media Laws, AP Style and SPJ Ethical Compliance. that said; feel free to pour your soul out. Approved authors get full credit and back-linked if they have anything to BL to. Should /loveforMyron grow to a publishable size…all profits will go to the Santa Clara Vanguard. Bias note – the publisher himself has much love for Myron and intends to make a[nother] donation to scv regardless.
-[]

October 13, 2015October 14, 2015

SoCal October News Quickie-Wrap

This month: it’s Halloween time and that means scary s—.
A shocking true crime tale of yore is headed this way. seductive, graphic, horrifying, shocking and a matter of FACT the Sea Pointe Murder House will arise again with FRESH SCANDAL you KNOW you LOVE.
On that note, in entertainment news, this writer recently binge-watched “American Horror Story” seasons 1-4. The replacement of Hollywood Luimnary Jessica Lange with modern singing sensation Lada Gaga deserves its own treatment and will get one.
October also means baseball, which we normally don’t care about, but the Cubs keep winning, leaving the classless Pirates in the dust and preparing a curtain call for St. Louis as I write. Win or Lose, #dacubbies, their history, their players, their fans and their heroes will get a special inside treatment ….
Weather — it’ hot as f— can you believe this sh–? A rational report on climate change is warranted. An editorial WIP–conspiracy-theory free and based on facts ONLY; part of the SoCal Pick’s Ethical Promise. see compliance and professional standards in column two for more about how we publish, why we publish, what we do and don’t do etc…

June 24, 2015June 24, 2015

Some common prose mistakes, per EN-US standards, AP Style and a prerequisite eight-grade literacy level* ….

outline html testA. Their, They’re There. “Their” is the third-person plural possessive tense meaning “Belonging to them”
Ex. “Don’t get mixed up in their bulls—”
“They’re” is a contraction, the third-person plural present-tense of “to be”
Ex. “They’re in need of a refresher course in English”
“There” – indicating a location in space.
Ex. “Bill saw a chupacabra there.”
B. Its and It’s.
“Its” is a third-person possessive pronoun meaning “Belonging to it” His and Hers may help you remember this exception, normally possessive nouns contain an apostrophe….
“It’s” contraction meaning “It is.” Third-person present tense of “To be”
C. Redundancies. Stop it! Makes writer seem ‘tarded.
a. “Very” – never use. “I’m tired” or “I’m very tired”? delete the waste of space and typesetting. Use “I’m tired” Clear and concise.
b. “I think” – of course you do, you wrote it! Many use this to qualify “The following is my opinion” Ok…if your communique’ is not completely clear to the audience on whether it contains only facts, only opinion or a mix, qualify your writing in the HEAD “Commentary by Tapper” “Editorial” or “The views express herein do not reflect those of Google, Inc., Drum Corps International, any affiliate corps, vendors or sponsors” Make sense?
c. “Hope this helps.” as in letter ‘b’ above – implied, many help forums ban or flag this oft-used needless sentiment it’s irrationality and waste.
d. “, and” the “and” takes the place of a comma. It never comes before “and.”
D. Basic style notes.
a. Sentences do not begin with “Because,” “but” or “However” they are preceded by a comma and part of the previous sentence, hence they are one thought. One sentence.
b. In general, use the following format for numbers: “one, two, three, four …nine, 10,11…19…99″…119…infinity.” Spell out “zero”…”0” is ambiguous. Spell ordinals same way(First…Ninth, 10th, 11th…) Sentences BEGINNING with a numeral or ordinal should always be spelled.
Ex. “One-hundred nineteen times I told you to shut up!”
Ex. “Tapper is 35 years old. Bill Feynman is 65.”
Ex. “In 1998, The Concord Blue Devils came in third place at Nationals”
c. Most things said to be “ironic” are “coincidence.”**
d. for verbal attribution, use “said” and only “said.” “Lamented” “shouted” “cried”…these are not only your interpretation, but are ambiguous and foster muddy communication so save the poeticisms for other verbs.
e. Flags on land fly on staffs, therefore they fly at “half-staff” on sombre occasions. Ships at sea lower their flags to “half-mast” … If you are online with your big political viewpoint about South Carolina and you mention flags in the capitol flying (or not flying) at “half-mast” I’m forced to assume you have no idea what you are talking about, nullifying an lame tweet.
f. NOW is an acronym (because the letters stand for something and can be pronounced as a separate stand-alone word. SIGINT is an acronym, as is LACMA, MOMA, DARPA…etc. The OCSD and the SLODA are not, those are corrupt organizations***)
NOW id the National Organization for Women, accent on the “for” most think it is “of” -please learn and remember.
g. Colons only appear after a statement containing the word “following”
EX. The following should be used in place of colon to indicate an ordered or unordered list in a statement sans the word “following”:
1. –
2. ;
3. —
E. Attribution. If you did not say it, say who did. If you did not write it, give credit. For technical writing use AMA Style for attributing people and publications. If you are tweeting a movie quote, put it in quotations and append the name of the movie, screenwriter who wrote the original line (ideally) or the character/actor that said it, followed by the name of the movie.
Ex. “I’m not that horny, I just got out of prison” –Jim Hogshire, screenwriter, “Let’s Got to Prison”
Ex. “Welcome to Home Depot, I love you” –Mike Judge & Etan Coen, co-screenwriters, “Idiocracy”
Ex. “It appears that Mr. Ringo is an educated man…now I truly hate him” –Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday, “Tombstone”
F. Legal primer. Never oversimplify. Triple check all facts and prose, defer to an expert or actual lawyer as needed….it’s easy to slip and do something horrendously awful, hurtful, unethical or illegal when reporting on the law and especially criminal law. Let’s say your neighbour got arrested today and from what he told you plus your first-hand observations, it involves spousal abuse.
1. Wrong: “Boo Radley was arrested today on suspicion of assault”
Wrong because: getting arrested has nothing to do with charges. It only means ….getting arrested. Most fundamental rights deal with access to a fair trial. You need a first-person account from the DA, the accused or a verified statement from the CO of the jail or an attorney-bondsman to report whatever the police clipped him for. What Penal Codes a citizen is presumed to have violated by local cops and what the DA will or will not file at arraignment are often out-of-sync. Using law enforcement as a source makes Radley seem guilty.
Correct: “Boo Radley was taken into custody today by the OCSD and awaits arraignment.” (Says almost nothing–nothing is all that can be ethically written in a report at this point in time, best practice is to wait for his court date. Should an editor demand information, interview neighbours and report what they SAID. DO NOT report anything the police say unless it could harm someone physically if you DON’T)False legal reports are sloppy journalism, make us look like assholes AND meet the definition of libel should the charges be dropped or Radley found innocent.
2. Wrong: “versus” “Vs.” “vs”
Correct: ‘v.’ as in “Near v. Minnesota”
3. “An eye for an eye” – def. the punishment should fit the crime. The notion is a Judeo-Christian precept of mitigation, not extreme punishment.
Ex. It does NOT mean a convicted murderer should be executed. (It MIGHT SOMETIMES but it is does not automatically mean a governing body should ever commit the same crime as the accused) Whomever wrote that in the Gospels was attempting to blunt Roman criminal procedure, not enhance it or justify capital punishment.
g. Shorthand – keep it to your texts and FB. Not everyone knows what WTFOMGROFL or Rule 34 means. ttys and ttyl, emoticons and the like are too informal for professional communication. Use std. EN-US. (abbv. r ok. 4 emails tho!)
h. General – it’s impossible to edit and proof your OWN prose with 100 percent accuracy but we can do much to improve our prose and most of the time we write unedited. For publishing, print, marketing, labels, packaging, ads, etc…always print out your clip on black and white paper and proof it using ambient sunlight. The human eye is not used to reading accurately via projected LED/LCD/Cathode-Ray light. As an editor, I have a responsibility to return copy ERRORLESS (in this case the writer HAS the second pair of eyes needed – and they are mine), hence I don’t edit on-screen and I take my time…err…time permitting. NEVER trust a spell-checker.
Never misspell a person’s name. If you need to make a phone call to verify a name, make the call. Don’t be stupid. Spelling a name wrong is a cardinal sin to editors. After you’ve triple-checked them I double-check on top. Periodicals lose sources and blow investigations over this. People get really pissed when they see their name misspelled. If you work for a company that sells sh–, CUSTOMERS cancel accounts over misspelled names – Especially their own name and their company’s name. Verify titles as well, while Mr. Mrs. Ms. is outdated and not used per AP Style, “Dr.” “President” “Rev.” or appends like “Esq.” some incorporate these into their identity so if we fail to label them accurately, we may be saying goodbye to them permanently.
Use of “-” to modify a noun…getting too lazy to post rules, but every-time I used it in this post is done so correctly. Same for “who/whom”” which I also encourage you to review OR wait for version two of this post.
“Alot” is not a word in any language.
“Liaison” is spelled correctly.
Stop beginning every f–ing sentence with “I” –you’re better than that.
Check verb tenses and stop swapping them around in the same context it makes me physically ill.
“Alot” is not a word in any language.
“Liaison” is spelled correctly.
Stop beginning every f–ing sentence with “I” –you’re better than that.
Check verb tenses and stop swapping them around in the same context it makes me physically ill.

*US News and Periodicals are normally written at an eight-grade level to establish a “lower-bound” for language research indicates is understood by the MOST readers possible/practical. The exception being professional journals such as JAMA.
**Look it up I’m trying to keep this post concise
***Reference to the awful law enforcements agencies of Orange County California, The Sheriff’s Department and The District Attorney’s Office. They are not all bad, but most are. I lifted and re-wrote this joke wby George Carlin who also lived in this backwards, xenophobic, anti-Semitic wasteland.

Sources
Hogshire, James, “You Are Going To Prison” Loompanics. Lansing Michigan. 1994.
Goldstein, Norm, et at. “”AP Style Handbook and briefing on media law” The Associated Press. New York 2004.
SPJ Ethical Codes, avail.spj.org
Thomas Jefferson et al. “”The US Constituion” The Federal Government of The United States of America, 1787.
*Carlin, George, “Brain Droppings” Hyperion, New York, 1997.
Sagan, Carl, “Cosmos” Random House, New York, 1980.