Retraction….Trump wins….

We were wrong. Ethics require me to admit wrongness as prominently as the worngness itself; so here ya’ go. The Associated Press just called it. For the non-media savvy. That’s checkmate. Sorry Hil. This doesn’t mean Trump won’t be gargling his nutsac however….

Canton’s secret weapon; Dean Westman; the brass-performance miracle worker—a savant ….a genius music teacher if there ever was one….

My best portrait of my favorite teacher, Myron Rosander in profile, on the field at dci finals retreat in 1997.

Checking scores of late (not that they matter!) we see that BC is a hair in front of BD, with Crown’s tribute to 93 Star down about a point-and-a-half. Santa Clara, Garfield and Rosemont round out the top six (w/ the recent-rise of BC/CC we see that Boston, Rockford & Crossmen are out of the top6 – this writer doesn’t see enough time left for significant place-changes, time is short on re-writing shows (but they will! Drill & music!) as it is on time to rearrange the placements much. This means that semi-local corps The Academy is likely to retain 12th and march Finals. Well-deserved! The $ you’ll earn and the possibility of making finals in 2017 will attract more-better performers. More corps = more-gooder.
Prediction, SCV in 4th with a score in low 90s. CC pegs the bronze (no love for Bartok’s ‘Medea’ – then all that’s left is a shootout for the ring between BD and BC. Music, viz and GE, they are neck and neck in all 3 categories, so let’s assume the winner will be decided by ONE CAPTION. To me, both corps are evenly matched in CG, drill, ensemble viz, battery, front ensemble and GE, where I see ‘potential difference’ is in music performance [particularly brass]. Brass…that’s BD’s caption is it not? Absolutely, lets take a look at why p0wnage of this caption leaves them vulnerable …..
To explain the vulnerability, we must travel back to 1997. The year prior, I was a rookie in the Velvet Knights. At the 2nd camp (I missed the 1st one…) then brass caption head Greg Flores sent his adjutant (Bill Varju, who’d marched SCV, Freelancers, BD and aged out at VK in 1995 as a Barry soloist, take note Varju not only marched the “west-coast cycle,” he’d marched Contra, Barry, Mellophone and Soprano – he’s equally competent on all instruments)–to audition me in some locker room at some HS in Ana-slime. He asked me to play a few scales, chromatic & major, I then layed down some Arban’s Carnival of Venice (and the triplet + 16th-note variation) which I’d committed to memory. I’d also only been using valves for about 2 months, borrowing a concert euphonium from Olinger – this had many problems for learning on the fly….the euph was “upright” (not bell-front like a bugle, so it didn’t train any of the muscles i’d need) it was in “C” (which we can equivalently call “in Bb”) the bugle I’d soon audition on was also in G, making it a)heavier and b)a minor-3rd LOWER, so if I see a “Bb” written, but I don’t hear a G in my head before the attack – I will buzz way sharp and that will lead to a frack. I knew so little music theory in 1995-6 that it took months for me to realize I had to “hear Down” AND learn Bb Treble Clef (I was told by many that drum corps don’t call out “notes” – EVERYONE MUST READ TREBLE. Especially me so im learning a new clef, valves, preparing to re-learn soon in a new key and I desperately hoped I’d make the corps. Coming from 4 years straight of honor band and 4 years straight of full scholarship to music camp, plus the heavy-hitter music pgm. I’d joined (invoking ‘schools of choice’ to ditch SCHS). The first time I heard Capo Jazz was 1992, by 1993 it was a given that going to Capo was as obvious a choice as marching a div1-caliber corps.
After I busted out some etudes for Bill, he said, “can you start on an “F” [double-transpose – know that he’s asking for a concert Eb and that on the bugle, the note coming out will be a concert low-C…]…”just go up the scale and keep going till you can’t play any higher?” “Sure” so all 100 lbs of 16-yr-old-hack-self proceeded to take it up two octaves SOLIDLY, then extending up to the doubleC. Bill was more impressed than I’d expected, apparently no one else in the low brass was good above a high C, so I had an octave 8va on all the vets. When we returned to the arc, GREG said, “Chris, you stand on the end of the arc now, you can’t be section leader because you are new, but you are now 1st chair. If there are any small or mixed-ensembles you will play the upper-lead part, if the show has any solos they default to you, cool with that? …cool? Fuck yeah. I guess my range, volume, lack-of-fracks and willingness to learn a new instrument from scratch payed off! As 1st chair, this put me solidly in the top 20 low-brass players in HS or College in North America.
As much as I learned on tour that year, nothing could prepare me for 1997, or what would be asked, expected of me…and how far I’d go to do it **this story is key to why/how BC could win it all next month**
I went to the 1st camp, having been the lead player in a small-ensemble of one other barry (Ryan; who was equally-talented but didn’t have my range by a sight….) and two flugel-bugle’s – my part began an abrupt shift to swing on beat 2 during our 2nd production and my part would be most audible on the recording (though not “technically a solo” I had plenty as one of three Barry’s in our Mixed Ensemble (“The Music of 1970s TV,” including ChiPs and The Love Boat; arr. Brian Belski….and yes we beat BD!!!!!) the show was also so heavily “hosed” that there were lots of runs, turns, high notes and licks where I was the only person playing. The G chromatic-triplet scale from middle to top-of-staff in one bar at 170bpm comes to mind, so does the lead line to “the right stuff” (upper-register, Ryan and I were only ones pumping that out…same for a bit of higher-reg improv writtten into the ballad, closer,”Concierto” “America o’Canada” (double F last bar–> bury entire low brass section, some of the HB AND whatever corps was posted next to us at retreat. Greg wrote lots of other fun warmups, etudes, marches and ditties for us to play BESIDES the damn show, he would give me a lead-sheet to those and clue me in on the chords so I could “improv if I wanted to ….fuck it.”
At this 97-camp, we met a new viz caption head whom you all know – Dave Weinberg, he’d arranged, designed and drilled out a whole show with a “Monty Python & the Holy Grail Theme.” I was to be now not only 1st chair but big bore section leader now and I was excited. My intention was to suggest to Dave that a “baritone solo, or solos might be a good idea.”
Never got that far though …. a week after the camp, I got a call from Glen. Who’d also marched as a rookie with me in 96. He said that the IRS audited the bingo hall (fmrly at Knott & Ball….*sniff*), found that Dir. Tom Hixon and possibly others were pilfering the funds and worst of all, we were way out of compliance for a 501c3 nonprofit youth organization. Vk owed more to the IRS than it was worth, so the gov’t seized all assets and the corps folded. Glen said he was calling because he thought I should think about where I might want to march….he said, “The other corps know you, they heard you on tour, at retreat & at I&E, they know you’re 1st chair/sxn leader. Any corps with a Barry hole is going to hit you up, some corps that are full might boot a lower-lead just to make room for you.”

I was sad. That Hixon, what a dick-bag! We never had enough food or fuel or $ on tour, we were always getting stranded, getting to shows late and when the cook mentioned “VK surprise” we knew that means he would take all remaining food, mix it into a stew and serve it, this was often cereal mixed with hot water, ramen noodles and maybe some cheap beans or rice. I was sad that the next-nearest corps was a 1000 miles away, that i’d have to be a “rook pos” all over again and that whatever corps I joined was not as likely to hand over 1st chair so easy, my chances at a solo were dwindling unless I intended to march in a lesser-corps.

The next night a woman called from The Crossmen, she identified me as “VK’s star baritone” and that if I marched, I would only have to attend camps until school was out, I would not have to work any bingo and (as it had been the yr b4) as a “ringer”the tour fee would be $0.00. I told her it sounded great, I had serious respect for the Xmen and that other than my parents hating me; marching was very doable. She wanted me to commit. I told her to wait a few weeks per Glen’s warning. She said 1st-chair was again mine if I went and that they’d hold the drill spot indefinitely.
Two nights later Glen called again. “Dude, you wanna march Vanguard?” Not particularly, but it was the closest div1 corps, all my viz techs marched there so I knew what to expect in terms of physical torture during basics block and physical warm-ups. I also liked Santa Clara, I also liked the idea of being the one Capo-hack that moves across the bay. Capo’s brass-hack MO is to march one year of VK, (or zero…) then audition, march BD and show off your ring after tour. “How do I get there for camps Glen? I have no $, my family hates drum corps, I can’t work bingo….how do we do this?”
“I just heard from their brass staff, all the orphaned VK players [that dont suck] get a free-ride [comped tour fee-again] no audition, no bingo….” “yeah but how do we get there?”
“thats the best part, SCV’s hornline is short about 20, so the corps is chartering a bus that will take us up from south-coast plaza every Friday and BACK on Sunday night!” Ok….a former Vk-now SCV hornline-member called the next night and made the offer, I’d already offended my parents by affirming that drum corps would continue despite having no drum corps nearby…so I said I would be on the bus next weekend and every weekend till post-memorial-day……
Now lets’s get into BC’s secret weapon. After the 1st camp, mgmt announced a change in brass-caption-head. His name was Dean Westman, he’d marched 1992-1993 (????) Contra at Rosemont. He had a teaching credential and lead a school in Texas where they take football so srsly that he led a fresh-soph MB, a JV MB and a Varsity MB (this along with the usual band dir. Stuff, beginning band, wind ensemble, jazz, commercial music, advanced band, orchestra, spring musical…..) he’d been teching Rosemont since aging out; our arranger Gordon Henderson was quite close to the staff there (he arranged 1995’s championship program “The Planets,” where in 95 there was 3-way tie for high-brass!)
Dean had shown himself to be adequate to be promoted from adjutant to caption head, albeit at a new corps….I won’t name cuz he’s a friend and deserves privacy, but SCV told Gordon to find a new head so they could fire the old one.
You have to understand that SCV lost it’s compass in 1992 with the death its longtime dir. & founder, Gail Royer. “Dr. Len Kyryzeki (sp?” took over in 1993….94, 95 & 96 were not banner years 7th, 5th, 5th then 6th place ….longtime friends, fans, family and alumni feared the worst, that we’d continue to slide and go the way of other corps that slipped out of Finals, never to be heard from again. Unlike BD, SCV didn’t have the luxury of holding auditions and selecting the best 66 out of 1000s…in fact, when I joined, we still had about 5 or 6 more holes, we patched them using the div 2 corps b4 leaving Calli, you need to understand that the average age in the hornline was 17 ½!!! The battery and front ensemble were filled with the absurdly-talented from day one,, not so the bugles; we’d have to learn. Think of Dean’s job as being to bring a bunch of high-school kids (with an average of just over 1 year of division 1 drum corps) up to a professional level. Dean introduced some neat listening exercises and etudes, but as much as the viz staff beat us to shit (not as bad as wanna-be VK viz guys…) Dean was always smiling, always nice, always happy to be there, never angry, rare to chew anyone out…and he ran horn-arc as BD would, lax….few viz standards enforced, much to the chagrin of vets and staff…..I could see what he was getting at. HE was explaining the technical aspects on the one hand…and he was priming us for “professional level” live performance on the other. If your show is 100 percent clean, you will get an 89/100 in brass performance; to break 90…and to crack 95, or 96….it takes something far more important than perfection; but lets not worry ourselves wit that yet. Rosemont came out to NorCal that year; at the first show we got p0wned by them and BD was over 10 points ahead of us.
Dean drilled & drilled and drilled us, rewriting the book 100+ times, hosing the players who couldn’t nail the hard stuff (or the easy stuff) and the viz staff did there thing so we could jazz run at 180 bpm and pass-thru Contra’s at “one” (yes one…) intervals whilst keeping the feet out of the sound. Three hornlines set out from CA, all completely full, one had just tied with PR for the win in 96, the other, a solid winner the year prior, a males-only corps full of “men”…like BD at close glance there were two hornlines full of men and one mostly kids….US. DCP even scouted us out of the top6, perhaps dropping to its lowest finish ever….how could we possibly compete with these two powerhouses that attracted the cream of the crop, internationally? Well, for one thing we had a cool show design (music, cg & drill), we had the most devoted drill-writer and viz caption head in all space-time; Myron Rosander….and…though he’d marched div 1 the same year as our super-vet (7-yr), we had perhaps the universe’s best music teacher, not a day over 25. We’d never been taught to or allowed to consider the score as a gauge for “how good we were doing,” but we did know that we could not continue to slide in placement, we are after all, the only corps to make Finals every year, not even BD can say that! Since 1989, we’d not defeated either corps. Gail’s last year was a massive crowd-pleaser with “Fiddler” but even the loaded hornline and baby-chucking fans, the adjudication community saw it as another re-hash and they panned it, sending Santa Clara from 1st to 8th in three years. 1990’s “Carmen” was also panned, as many of the members who’s just won came back for another ring….not only did they not win they did not medal; coming in 5th; 1991 continued Gail’s love of the theatre with a strikingly artistic rendition of “Miss Saigon,” still, the judges only “allowed” the corps to recover to 4th.
Could the corps survive many more years without its heart & soul? No one knew. In 97 it wasn’t looking good.
Then we changed back to the xmas-tree uniform.
Then Dean came up with an idea for the flattest part of our show…an up-tempo d-a-c-ray pattern from Bernstein’s Age of Anxiety. BEFORE DRUMS ALONG THE ROCKIES THIS PRODUCTION WAS TECHNICALLY PERFECT. NO phasing, no fracks, no bad intervals or bad drill. It was a machine firing on all pistons, we’d added tons of visuals and re-written it, hosed the weaker players off chromatics/melodies/licks and other ‘hard’ stuff. WE moved and played together, the ensemble blend was nice, great dynamic contrast…… The DoD was all-Vanguard….so why did the audience sit on their hands during&after? They didn’t during the intro, they stood up plenty of times during “On The Waterfront.” If we didn’t run out of O2 in that thin mtn air…we’d get a standing O as we trooped the line off the field, but ….I was already thinking that if we could make the 4th production pop…. we’d at least be close to Rosemont, within 7.5 of BD and DCP would maybe at least put us back in the top6……..
The hell if I knew how, but Dean did; I believe he knew the whole time….he’d already begun to explain that reading music perfectly the 1st time was a given for professional players. It’s an expert that can accomplish that. A “pro” makes the audience feel something REAL. As all art should, when I look at Picasso’s “Guernica” I feel the pain and strife, I FEEL the beauty Van Gogh saw when he painted “Starry Night.” Our opener had a soft, lilting, pretty, easy-going, early-morning-feel. On-the-Waterfront had tension, power and mayhem/dissonance built in, like rush-hour on the 680.The ballad was all love, so was the closer and the “park” sequence had a playful feel built into it…but what was this weird-dissonant-chord-repeated-at-high-speed supposed to mean? What should the fans feel? How do we project a feeling if I we dont know wtf its supposed to be?
“Ok so bring it in….everyone…” 120 “kids” surrounded Dean and he described the problem above. He’d been racking his brain to explain the feelings to emote in our flat-production.
“Did any of you see “Sleeping with the Enemy?” [nope]”ok well, in the movie, Julia Roberts is abused by her husband…I thought of it because the chords we repeat over and over are the same ones the evil husband plays on his record player, …every day, when he gets home from work, he puts on the d-a-c-ray, then he slowly tromps upstairs to beat his wife….when we reset, I want you to BE that character; especially if you play the repeated theme. Don’t feel her fear of getting beat, feel HIS RAGE, HIS ANGER, HIS FURY….consider that if you were out of uniform, off the field, you’d be about to beat the shit out someone you cared about. GET ANGRY, how pissed does this character have to get to do something so evil? So lets set up at the top, everybody’s in-full out!…and send all that evil rage up to the BOX!”
I’d seen the movie. I remembered that the music I was about to play was the same as Kevin Kline’s evil record player, meant to foreshadow despicable acts of terror. When I set; I pictured myself in his black raincoat and turtleneck, I could see stairs off behind the track where I’d go to “beat my wife” afterward. I furrowed my brow, for the 1st time I got into character. I always thought the music speaks for itself but no! You have to BE a character to express a particular emotion, even if it’s a continent away from being politically correct*
….In addition to support staff there were about 30 fans milling about. We ran the prod thru, top to bottom, we tore, I spread tone a few times, some of the sets and horn visuals didnt snap as you’d expect them to in July, but at the end of this production, the staff, fans and ourselves sat in a state of shock as we dressed-center; then the millers & staff erupted into cheers, applause, jumping up and down….and I felt it. This was a NEW PRODUCTION! I simply couldn’t wait to do it at a show (it had previously been my least fav production)…I knew we could get two more standing o’s…maybe more?
All Dean did was place a thought in our heads, that’s it! Then….magic. There are so many more examples but this post is long enough so let’s leave it at this. That night we got a standing O at the first impact-point in that production, also a loooong one at the end of it (shit we hadn’t even done the closer yet!) That put us at somewhere around 10 times the fans would rise & lose their shit. So did the judges take note of that? You decide.
At the second regional “Drums” at Mile High, we beat Rosemont and did not lose to them again till their three-peat in early 2000s. We had a ceremony in Colorado where we gave back “the noose” which had been at the corps hall since 1990. Cavs and SCV are rivals so the noose is what you get if you lose so “go hang yourself with it!” We NEVER lost to Rockford or Madison, we beat Garfield and at q’s we tied BD….we dropped to 3rd at semi’s but on the night of the live PBS broadcast, we were the “reliable Rondo”-pick to win it all.
We didn’t win-win, but in Vanguard terms we won. We peaked at Finals. Sans minor side 1 to side 2 phasing for a bar that locks back in before the 1st impact in the opener, show = tech perfection.
Emotionally, we took 50k denizens of east-Florida on a ride through human feelings, ours, theirs, their fears, their wants, their hates, their anger, their tension, their joy mainly …. their nostalgia; that warm place you go before tears of joy leak out.
Point-Dean did that in one year, three yrs after teching for his alma mater they win. 98 SCV get silver, 99-gold. Then he drops out to be w/ fam, work his other job and pick up a lil extra w/ the on-broadway production of Blast! Then he drops off-radar. Now we find him 4 years in leading Canton’s ensemble music. They are a c— hair behind BD ….so here it is the tap-prediction as of august 1 folks;
1. BC >97.0
2. BD >95.5
3. CC >95.0
4. SCV >93.0
5. Gar >92.5
6. Cavs >91.0
….12th = TA w/ > 81.0
thx for reading & plz support our generous sponsors…such as–


*note – The SoCal Pic in no way shape or form supports violence against women. What we DO support is invoking the psyche of a fictional character in order to express such emotions as anger, cruelty and madness. It is the ability to transcend technique and project ANY & ALL emotions that separates expert artists from professionals. This writer credits Dean Westman and Myron Rosander primarily for teaching me the difference AND how to ACTUALLY DO IT IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE! Sadly, no one will benefit (directly) from Rosander at DCI this year [Rest in peace, ol’ buddy….] but the COATS, the COPS have DW and his leadership will make the diff under those Saturday Night Lights. SEE YOU SEEING ME THERE, IN THE FLESH, -T August, 2016.

Trump campaign dead on the runway….

Despite what you may have heard, now is a pretty good time to be Hillary Clinton. Yesterday, we heard hordes of retarded people in Cleveland chant “lock her up” and making jokes and vague promises to actually put her in jail. Likely very few of the chanters have ever had their freedom taken away, if they had, they would understand that jail and prison is NOT Funny and Not a joke, but this is Trump supporters, whom veteran broadcaster Phil Hendrie describes as “semi-retarted at least.” Even his retarded character [nee “producer”] Bud Dickman agrees that Trump supporters “some kind of retards.”
First he lets his painted-whore of a wife go on and write her own speech, which almost a direct-lift plaigiarization of Michelle Obama’s speech at the 2008 DNC.Had Trump hired even ONE media professional outside his semi-competent son & daughter (whom probably make somewhere in the range of $0.00/hr for their meager PR efforts, they would’ve helped prepare her speech and compare it against previous first-lady speeches and would’ve found the issue almost immediately. There are also simple programs that can be run by teachers & professors (software that has been refined over decades) that can check any chucnk of prose for plagiarism. Some of these programs access massive media archives, university papers, theses, dissertations, term papers, professional journals, transcripts of live tv & radio….for just a small fee his hackneyed team could’ve prevented that mess (and a lighting person couldve seen how
over-worked her face looked in that light, how many face lifts are too many? How old is she? This is his third wife…#amirite?
Anyway, later Chris Christie, a proven douchebag scheister governor from New Jersey gets up and says that “Hillary Clinton created ISIS”
IF YOU BELIEVE THAT ONE, I HAVE A BRIDGE FOR SALE IN NEW YORK AND IT AINT THE ONE IN BROOKLYN
To her credit, his younger daughter gave a nice speech.
Next “Doctor” Ben Carson gets up, starts talking about some vague conspiracy theory involving the educational system, it sounded like he made it up in his head on the spot then he compared Clinton, a heavily Jewish-sounding-named author she likes and mentions that in the intro to this mystery book, he “thanks Lucifer” — a thinly-veiled way of implying that Clinton, all Jews and all Democrats worship the Devil….then he starts talking about how it says “In God we Trust” on our money and “we” this and “love God” that which was a DIRECT LIFT OF REAGANS’S FAMOUS EVIL EMPIRE SPEECH.
AT THIS POINT I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO VOMIT ON MY DASHBOARD SO I BAILED OUT. TOO MUCH BULLSHIT FOR ONE DAY, ANYWAY, HER IS ANOTHER REASON WHY IT’S GOOD TO BE HILLARY. NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE ON THE TOP 10 LIST OF DONORS TO SUPER-PACS IN 2016. THEY ALL AGREE ON ONE THING — NOT HAVING A TRUMP PRESIDENCY — CHECK OUT HOW MUCH CASH IS AVAILABLE TO TAKE HIM DOWN SO FAR

OUCH!!! That's a lotta money folks....
OUCH!!! That’s a lotta money folks….
advert follows…plz support we could use your help!




Update…oops Laura Ingraham throw in’ up gang signs….see they can’t even do One day. See featured pic.

Popular mobile devices for 2016 …. who cares? you do!

a pathetic band geek red char

source my site’s analytical javascript; courtesy of Advertising monolith GOOGLE.

Not shown – many of my readers opt out of being spied on constantly, the sample size is big enough for us however – we are looking at about 3,000 unique HUMAN visitors.

Number 10 … Motorola XT1080 Droid Ultra – I thought they made pagers, what are you doing on my site w/ your beeper?

Number 9Microsoft Windows RT Tablet – uh what the hell is that? The Surface maybe? I tried the keyboard on that pos once and that was it for me. To each his own [crappy mobile device!]

Number 8….The iPod – there you go! I have one too…save $ on the data by using wifi …I had my last one so long I wore it down to nothing and hucked it for $30, but all the time vested in “Clash of Clans” and “Smule Magic Piano” was all 4 naught till I replaced it. Thanks again, mom! (the data doesn’t reflect my own testing of the site using said iPod – about 25 of you have one…or your kids do, in which case you need to check the settings…my site is clearly labeled “mature” so junior can’t read about murder, government corruption, drugs from paprika to sodium pentethol and jokes that veer on the side of xenophobic, racially insensitive, chauvinistic and intentionally offensive more oft. Than not …nu?

Number 7 ….Samsung SM-N910V Galaxy Note 4 getting to the popular pocket-rockets here, which leads us to

Number 6 …. Samsung SM-G900V Galaxy S5 – ok so thats those of u who upgraded due to

  1. generous family holiday gift
  2.  you lost your s4
  3.  your s4 was stolen
  4.  you will die if you dont upgrade, so…you did…thats cool I aint no judge…only 1 of those! -or-
  5.  you used the s4 to “go upside the head” on a hopefully deserving recipient, or worse, you really lost it and just blasted it against the wall….since 20 percent of my beloved readers are females, we must not leave out
  6. DROPPED IN TOILET.

Number 5. The LG D850 G3  – a decent phone – Androids round out nearly half the top 10. make sure you invest at least $15 in a case this phone is beyond expensive..the LG4 will be off the chain expensive. Kinda big but it fits in most pockets.

Number 4. The LG-H810/H81010b G4 …ok so it is out …no big surprise there

Number 3. The bronze medal mobile device for fledgling 2016 is …the iPad – im not told if you use the 1 or the 2 – I figure that of the 1000 of you….800 have the 2

Number 2. your silver cell is the Google Nexus….north of 1500 of you bought one last year “just like yer told to…” and speaking of doing what your told, the winner of the 4-week-best-paper-weight to follow your hero Donald “Quacker” TRUMP is…[buzz-roll plz…..]

Number 1. you know what it is. Why waste precious prose. There is a 70 percent chance it is in your hand right now. Read the label; yeah…the newest one…you shameless bastard. It’s why you’re my reader and one of the reasons I love you so much – no shame -no regrets- fuck it. You have the most desirable mobile device in existence because you CAN. Bravo sir (or madam)

advert from Evil Corps follows–


Vietnam wins again, CJX Jailbreak #ocjailbreak …. some notes ….

sandra and company, i added text parodying an ad for old fox cops tv show, saying you can watch them fuk up live every morning on fox..also "eat a dick"

As of this moment, 100s of dipshit COs, deputies, cops, feds, CHP and misc. law enforcement investigators are still looking for the three men found missing from the Orange County Jail, called “CJX” by locals – One of the escapees is alleged to’ve attacked a Weed dispensary, one victims body was found almost charbroiled, with his junk stuffed in his mouth and his body dumped carelessly slack in the IE, the younger, middle-aged and older men are facing federal charges from kidnapping to Murder 1 to “torture.” (I dont know how to define torture…do you?- hence quotations marks…..by all accounts, each man is looking at life, probably the chair …so… they busted the fuck outta the hoose-cow and are likely off-continent. I gotta confess, this site and writer has longtime held that the OCSD is incompetent, CJX is “cruel & unusual” & never do the accused get a fair trial from OCDA…....so, we are rooting for these men to make a full escape. (with the possible exception of the towel-wrapper) Best would be to a country that doesn’t have extradition with the US. WHY ON EARTH are we rooting for these guys? ok ….a little background. This news item brings up a few major topics:
1. Vietnamese People in Orange County
2. Vietnam
3. The dynamic nature of weed & “the law”
4. The 50s, 60s, 70s …and TODAY! (just like now-defunct FM radio!!)
5. The Vietnam War
6. People from Orange County
7. Strange-overly-conservative-time-machine political views and racial divides.
8. CJX
9. Lighting people on fire
10. A Vietnamese Necktie (I’m coining that one, you get your wang and nuts chopped, shoved in mouth, set on fire and buried then buried off the 91 fwy)
11. Racism in Orange County
12. How Orange County is fundamentally polarized from Los Angeles, though they border each other
13. Gaming it out..
.Escape from CJX, Revenge of The Men in The Yellow Pajamas.
We’ll address all this crazy shit as it unfolds and as I get this absurd editorial organized, it’s gonna be a long one…..tbc afternoon, Tuesday…
Here at HQ we are not as concerned as all other media and law enforcement outlets, looking into the alleged crime, we’re talking EXTREMELY PERSONAL AND PRE-MEDITATED, NOT random violence. Extremely doubt any SoCal residents are in danger and I DOUBT the three are still Stateside, closest they are to here is Mexico, and the Sheriff is caught with her pants down for running a shitty facility EVERYONE HATES CUZ IT VIOLATES BASIC HUMAMN RIGHTS! Reap what you sow …retards at OCSD and 98 percent of the COs at CJX, you suck, you bring nothing to the table and everyone knows it. Sandra, you can be like Mike Carona and resign in disgrace hehehehehehhehlolzorz. -ed
Come back for more soon! – tap
****Most recent AP dispatch courtesy, LA Times, OC Register not even following major story haha they suck too! gotta love it when it’s OC epic fail everywhere but here and in the minds of three other former residents of North America’s ONLY Medieval Dungeon!…the latest.

****evening****I left some hard truths as comments (questionable whether that level/qty of truth violates their “comment policy”) on the Mother Jones site which I understand to be a legit journalism publication, the writer is from OC and mentions the story as an after -thought…but the comments show this is no puff-piece. This was planned, organized, daring, cunning, timed perfectly, executed with serious cojones…the local media and authorities are already shying away from the story.
They’ve lost & they know it. I saw a lieutenant, he drifts off into “staff-meeting-double-speech” — he’s all flustered, talking in circles, he knows the Vietnamese community ain’t gonna talk – he’s an officer – as bad as OCSD is…the officers aren’t stupid, categorically, they know what’s up….

….The main alleged escapee? The noose-tyer? He’s juiced-in! He’s high power…connected! you guys groovin’ on what im jivin’ here? Go watch a Scorcese movie and get back to me…Jesus!allright, I’m gonna go have a smoke, what, you don’t smoke?? what are you…one of those fitness freaks? ..just kidding go fuck yourself.” Alec Baldwin, from “The Departed” – tap

***1800 hours, Monday*** the only other media site besides…yes this one…to touch the story was CNN, three hours ago… headline “SoCal Residents on edge” …ok … journalistic-ally we can go hunt for one dummy to say that on record, but it isn’t true. No one who lives here with an IQ above 60 or an education above 3rd grade is “scared.” Let’s give CNN the benefit of the doubt…”Doung” jumps in my window right now, armed. I’d give him a meal and a beer and fucking congratulate him….but…let’s face it…I’m glad I at least jumped on this story while it was lukewarm…cuz im gettin the feelin, this is over. All three men got away clean. Unless the towel-wrapper joins that weired “Arab State”-thing, whatver the fuck that is …. the two slants? They’re looooooooooong gone…even if they went south they are 1000 miles south of me….and I’m nearly 50 miles from 550 North Flower aka County Jail – Mens Central aka CJX – where I can tell you this, the entire facility will remain on 24-hour lockdown indefinately, for those of you who’ve never jaywalked, that means NO SHOWERS, NO HOT FOOD, NO LEAVING ANY CELL FOR ANY REASON…AND THE INSIDE-LIGHTS ARE LIKELY ON AS BRIGHT AS POSSIBLE (you try to sleep w/o darkness for weeks, months…years…at a time (???) good Lord can we start treating those men with some humanity? Many at CJX have not been convicted…of even a single crime…even jaywalking. Major Case trials drag thru the 1st ROUND of trial for years…and the convicted don’t “get” (trust me) to go to prison until they are convicted of a felony by a jury or adjudicator. ok … be back soon dear reader -ed.

****early am 1/27**** – Doung still long gone…no more Duong guys…. The bold list of topics listed at top of this piece are a WIP – I’d like to address some important historical facts about life behind the Orange Curtain you may not be aware of, even if you live here…as always, information, bad jokes and putting the COPS on BLAST (which is the sworn duty of any journalist worth his or her salt) …. we are having fun sticking the truth right up in their dumb faces, that is for sure. I made the absurd graphic semi-meme to replace the other featured image, which I technically stole from The Times, so I wanted to admit that I did that – used it as a place-holder and made something original myself as priority. You can also visit the Los Angeles Times for more on this story – objective and cutting editorial. The Times always has and always will be a pillar of altruistic, ethical journalism and I salute all reporters, editors, photogs, techs and publishers. Your plug is gratis, below is a sponsored link; if you enjoy my brand of crazy, I encourage you to support our little site by visiting their site; I will never ask you buy anything from me, ever. We advertise; that’s how it works. You don’t pay, they do. Plz support them & in so doing …support News, comment, OCD and the Jewish-controlled media, we would like more $ from Google so…ok end of rant – from the Publisher’s desk.


Let’s play…I mean…create a prototype ’13’ deck aka Korean Poker!

If you are like me you played this addictive game at lunch, on the bus, during class…whatever you played it constantly because it’s seriously fun and a great way to pass the time. At Capo Valley, we loved this game because it was winnable even if you were dealt a shitty hand, the game encouraged a great deal of shit-talking and merriment. We’d also enhanced it with “insult rules” such as, while dealing, you throw a few of them face-up, just to piss off whoever you want to piss off. It also lended itself to so much cheating that we overlayed a rule; “If no one saw it, it wasn’t cheating.” Technically that is true in the absolute…the difference is that we encouraged cheating because it added more layers of fun, strategy, dexterity, options to win…the perfect game for college-prep band geeks who think to much and are fiercely competitive.
Common ways to cheat when you re the dealer is place a card you want on the bottom of the deck, dealing, 13 cards to each player beginning with west, you get the final card. Desirable cards include the 3 of clubs (whomever holds this card goes 1st…it is much like other games where whomever runs out 1st wins, going 1st on a good hand could end it). The ace of hearts is valued – any run ending in this card is unbeatable (thus you get to go again). Likewise, the 2 of hearts is valued for being the highest card – it is not unbeatable (a two-killer is a double-run-of-three such as 4,4,5,5,6,6) but it’s always nice to have, especially late in the game when most pairs and runs are likely to be all down. Another great way to cheat it to simply hide a card (or two, or more…) wherever you can hide it. The best place seemed to be under the left thigh or up my right sleeve. Another “layered” rule is that if you are caught cheating you forfeit the game (and winning if gambling is involved) – simply trying to look at other people’s cards is another surprisingly easy way cheat.
I won’t waste time with any more specific rules…most of you have never played it…still, the f-ed up ways to mess with the game applies to all of them (and that only scratches the surface) and you can apply the tenets and ideas in this post to YOUR preferred card game.
On topic – I’ve been brushing up on mu Java programming again so as a thought experiment I began to build a “Card” class (ADT, data-type, etc). Once I got that to work I decided to test it by creating an array (a list) of them and ordering them in the exact order they would go in 13. On higher level of this project are the following:

  1. A Deck Class
  2. A 13 Class
  3. A user-interface for the game itself

For now, I simply used my Card data-type to see if I could use a nested-for loop to populate the deck with cards as they from low to high in the game of 13. Software Engineers know that regardless of language, arrays begin at zero. In an object-oriented mode, I decided that “zero” had so little to do with cards/decks/card-games that I would use a place-holder for it. What else is not used…I mean…in actual card games? For most; the Joker(s), so in the interest of something w/in striking distance of elegant design; (in pseuodocode) 0=(string)”joker”
The following is the output from a Deck prototype, which hints at an actual 13 prototype, which is a thought experiment for the future…particularly the design of three players who can plot against me…and..on an absurd level of abstraction…try to cheat me if the opportunity comes up and allow me to cheat the non-player-characters.

Below is the successful output from the v0 prototype of a 13-Deck
run: whomever gets the 3 of spades goes first.
The following list will create a deck of 52 cards in ’13’ order
1. created the 3 of spades
2. created the 3 of clubs
3. created the 3 of diamonds
4. created the 3 of hearts
5. created the 4 of spades
6. created the 4 of clubs
7. created the 4 of diamonds
8. created the 4 of hearts
9. created the 5 of spades
10. created the 5 of clubs
11. created the 5 of diamonds
12. created the 5 of hearts
13. created the 6 of spades
14. created the 6 of clubs
15. created the 6 of diamonds
16. created the 6 of hearts
17. created the 7 of spades
18. created the 7 of clubs
19. created the 7 of diamonds
20. created the 7 of hearts
21. created the 8 of spades
22. created the 8 of clubs
23. created the 8 of diamonds
24. created the 8 of hearts
25. created the 9 of spades
26. created the 9 of clubs
27. created the 9 of diamonds
28. created the 9 of hearts
29. created the 10 of spades
30. created the 10 of clubs
31. created the 10 of diamonds
32. created the 10 of hearts
33. created the J of spades
34. created the J of clubs
35. created the J of diamonds
36. created the J of hearts
37. created the Q of spades
38. created the Q of clubs
39. created the Q of diamonds
40. created the Q of hearts
41. created the K of spades
42. created the K of clubs
43. created the K of diamonds
44. created the K of hearts
45. created the A of spades
46. created the A of clubs
47. created the A of diamonds
48. created the A of hearts
49. created the 2 of spades
50. created the 2 of clubs
51. created the 2 of diamonds
52. created the 2 of hearts
*QA test* The highest ranking card in 13 is the 2 of hearts
BUILD SUCCESSFUL (total time: 0 seconds)

It works! Created using the Netbeans IDE 8.0.2 on a win8.1 box using the Java SE 8 or Java 1.8 as I call it. SRC follows:

package card;
/** WIP - create a card ADT and enumerate it into a deck  per "13" rules aka Korean Poker @author Tapper7.com last stable build - 12/15 &c ssstudios, los angeles, ca
*/
public class Card{
int suit;
int rank;
Card(){
this.suit = 0;
this.rank = 0;
}//null constr
Card(int suit, int rank){
this.suit = suit;
this.rank = rank;
}
public static void showCard(Card theCard){
//cards are ranked as they are in 13 aka korean poker
//"jokers" hold null memory space so we arent using zeroes
String[] s = {"joker", "spades", "clubs", "diamonds", "hearts"};
String[] r = {"joker", "3", "4", "5", "6", "7", "8",
"9", "10", "J", "Q", "K", "A", "2"};
System.out.println(r[theCard.rank] + " of " + s[theCard.suit]);
}
public static void main(String[] args){
//create an array of cards
Card[] mydeck = new Card[54]; //array is oversized for debug
mydeck[0] = new Card(1,1);       //initialize
//test that the lowest card is created correctly
System.out.print("whomever gets the ");
Card.showCard(mydeck[0]);
System.out.println("goes first.");
//populate the 13 deck in order from low to high
int currentCard = 1;
int suits = 1;
int ranks = 1;
System.out.println("The following list will create a deck of 52 cards in '13' order");
for(ranks = 1; ranks < 14; ranks++){//outerloop ranks from 3,4,5....J,Q,K,A,2
for(suits = 1; suits < 5; suits++){
mydeck[currentCard] = new Card(suits, ranks);
System.out.print(currentCard+". ");
System.out.print(" created the ");
Card.showCard(mydeck[currentCard]);
currentCard++; //increment deck position
}//end inner loop
}//end outer loop
//test that the algorithm put the highest card in the correct index:
System.out.print("*QA test* The highest ranking card in 13 is the ");
Card.showCard(mydeck[52]);
}//end mn
}//end prototype

thanks for stopping by! and now [below], a word form one of our sponsors