Yes, Mr. Welke is a straight up J-cat 5150 18-wheeler on 17 flat tires TRUCK, coming to halt via e-brake, shifting into low, swervin [Durbin!] and hopefully coming in for clean landing amidst a runaway truck mound. Jerry’s easy Tenor will lighten the moment before the CHP places mne in 4-point restraints in a [hopefully] tastefully-buttoned up hospital gown. Methinks this JG classic was playing when they found the rig.I likie the ones with the blue dots.
TapCast, now finally with fresh builds of Audacity, WP, FFmpeg Encoder & libmp3LAME.dll just ejected 2 new casts to let you know the ICU found its blood type ….O-….. the tracheotomy was successful and it will slowly revive, as did this writer in 2012. You can actually place this mess via iTunes, but for you ‘ultimate lazys’ out there I have an important question; ‘do you like Huey Lewis & The News?’
Associates & ***Performers/Staff at Impulse!*** get at me via email chris.e.welke@gmail …. the undisclosed location where Q-list celebs (me) and fmr. A-listers (Miley) wear robes, play footsy, drink coffee, talk at each other re: ‘where it all went wrong’ wont be of much help. its secure/discreet/private & as a journalist i’d rather you not violate anyone’s privacy besides moi. My drop-dead-gorgeous Suicide Gurl/gf/friends/w/benefits ‘Nic’ 1st stayed there about 11 yrs ago and the clientele was shocking. Did you watch the Academy Awards? Ok folks..there they are, the bvig ass black dudes, theyve got as straight jacket…mmm..mmmmmph!!!!
eeeee yuuuuuuu exxxxxt unnnnf!!!!!! Eyerra ssss nnnn ugleeeee ffft piyyyyg!!!! uuuuussshhhhh idddddd n-eye-nnnnnn eeeeelevennnnn!!!! Rrrrrumpo is uBer eeeeyond ay……ay…..mmmmm! AY….ummmphf _AYYYY!!!!! [ok cmon psycho it’s quiet time, we don’t waste Mr. Drew’s time do we?] ‘then why did he hire two n-OOOOOOFFFF!!!!’
If you clicky I money….can you do this fucking once for me?
Before they pull it! A Mis Abuelos with the Belgian dude!
I saw this finals performance live with Stinky (great Euph player) we’d just about had enough BD/SCV/Cavs/PR/GF/Bones by that night, burt we didnt miss out on a chance to hear this one just 1 mo gin….s#!t A Drum Corps Fans Dream, part Dos yo!,
When you sneak away to your favorite site, do you have any idea what happens when, say, you googled “Cal Poly” and my site cane up? Here’s a primer; and it helps us test that the update can at least, …. well…. update. Most of the info contained herein will only be useful if you find yourself on Jeopardy, or @Who wants to (whatever)”….maybe even not then, but you will learn, possibly be entertained and hey, we still have unsolved murders in SLO. Anyway before I get all deep and sad like. Data regarding your sites, the tools, the useless info, th tasteless jokes, the usual. You ordered it!
What is it? An object-oriented scripting language. Event-driven, loosely based on Java.
It is functional and imperative to the Interwebz.
Who created it?
Brendan Eich designed it for Netscape in 1995. Volunteers at mozilla.org, other sites and individuals have since expanded the language
What languages was it inspired by?
Java (duh), C, Perl,Lua, Scheme, Python, AWK too many to list.
What languages credit it for inspiration?
ActionScript (Adobe), JScript (Sun nee Oracle), CoffeeScript, Perl 6, .NET, Objective-J (that’s not a typo) QML, again too many to list.
Why is it so popular?
Netscape marketing cleverly piggy backed on the name of the right
Web language (Java, a fully functional language that runs servers, cars, street lights, toasters, you name it. >3 billion pieces of crap made in China run Java) *also*
It allowed for Dynamic Hypertext Markup….see how your FB feed and likes pop up likes and posts w/o
refreshing the page? Yeah, they invented that 20 years ago in Mountain View.
Also, without getting too technical, it runs on YOUR device, making it faster.
What about MariaDB? I know about MySQL and Google’s Big Data, but….(?)
From en.wikipedia.org “MariaDB is a community-developed fork of the MySQL relational database management system intended to remain free under the GNU GPL. Development is led by some of the original developers of MySQL, who forked it due to concerns over its acquisition by Oracle.Contributors are required to share their copyright with the MariaDB Foundation.” I paraphrased out some of the detritus. Tech Geeks it’s on GitHub.
What the heck is Hack? Keeping it simple, a scripting language ready-made-to-order for PHP 5 and Facebook…. also you cannot define local variables (if that makes no sense to you it’s cool just move on….)
Go? It’s from the wizard programmers at Google. A language and two compilers. They’re trying to keep all the good things about c/c++/Java and improve the rest. It makes BitCoin transactions faster, nuff said?
Erlang? A language you’ll likely never deal with unless you work at a server farm. Users clutter up intranets and networks, Erlang is a good janitor. Programmers can hot swap data; changing stuff without crashing Outlook. It’s made for real time systems (like when NASA tries to safely land a Mars rover, or when a million people try to watch the Game of Thrones preview at once). You don’t need to how…. that’s pretty much graduate level compsci and anything past the fundamentals are way past the scope of this clip.
Voldemort(????) a distributed data store that holds key values (IDs) from the good folks at LinkedIn for high-scalability. Yeah…. they named it after a Harry Potter character.
That’s all for now dudes and dude-ettes. *Phew* I did this whole post on an iPhone.
*Breaking* LATER ASSHOLE! Space Park Management to violent coward: Thanks but NO THANKS -or- Wife-Beater Takes Beat-Down
Around about every five years; the most consistently prgressive, entertaining, competitive and downright bad-ass drum & bugle corps* in the kh2own universe puts together an Alumni Corps….for fun, for old times sake, cuz life starts to suck after age 21, cuz playingin a large group of talented men & women is better than (sex * drugs + rockNroll) ….. to get easily-explainable time off from work/family/friends/poker/kids/your dog/home [all the things that society INSISTS you take part in and enjoy……So we’re all cut out on what-the-world-expects-of-us and why not? If that’s all we did, [musicians especially] it would make for a rough world. (did you know Hitler was a band-geek? yeah-Basson —God I would knock him out just for THAT! AAAAANYHoooooo……)
WHO IS MIKE BRAGA?
I’ll tell the story as it unfolded for this writer in 2007. The timeline is quite jagged; so put on your “Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul/Star Wars/Pulp Fiction/Memento style plot hats cuz the timeline here zigs, zags and jumps…
That year I ran two assembly lines for Metagenics (fmr. makers of professional quality dietary supplements, protein powders & functional foods; my lines always packed that finished-goods, and pills from horse tablets to the barely visible. I digress. I’m running line 4– the phone rings. It’s Joe Rybus, a heavy in Kingsmen Organization and a head-hunter for the hornline. Someone fronted me off to the guy — he knew my name & cell….at least it was a welcome call.
“Am I interrupting” (he is; but…take a guess how many fucks I gave…)
“This is Joe Rybus, did you know The Anaheim Kingmen are putting togther an Alumni Corps this year? This is the first time DCI will be held at the Rose Bowl to commerate our innaugural victory at Whitewater in 1971…anyway you wanna join?”
“I never marched Kingsmen”
“Yeah … well see we want to have as big a hornline as possible; so we waved that requirement; in fact; so far most of the members are alums from up north; like yourself!”
“Are you guys gonna play cool shit?”
“Yeah, Mambo, Folk Song Suite, So Very Hard To Go….Firebird...”
“That sounds cool…cant go wrong with Mambo, Williams, ToP or Stravinsky…. how many horns?”
“We have nearly 80; shooting for 120….” (now my crew knows im , not evem trying to work so they take over; a good crew…)
“So you wanna fill the rest with ringers right?”
“Yeah Chris; get it now?”
“….Practice? How do we not get the cops called?”
“One of the members is a principal at school in Anaslime [Joe didnt really say that, but u get the idea] He says we can use the band room and that no one will call for noise if we pack it in by sundown…and its just 30 miles north.”
“Joe I wanna do this, but $ is tight, I can’t tale time off work …..”
“We’re camping at Long Beach State for about 3 weeks before Semis [our last show] all you need is 1 weekend a month till summer, then every weekend, then get most of august.”
–NOTE: Joe’d made this call in 2006 so I had plenty of time to arrange this; plus my work OWED me a decent VAYCAY; I’d never taken even a sick day three years in ….
“$ is tight Joe….I can squeeze the time but I need rides, a uniform, theres no way I can pay fees. I want to help…really is th-
“[cutting me off] “look it’s free; if you need a ride ill get you one….”
“I can drive dude; just one more thing; now that im older? 2nd Barry? Lower Lead? ….my chops are in pro-condition so …”
“Got it; Upper Lead Baritione, comped…the next camp is at….”
The rest is history. Sops like legendary sops like Ralphie, Jim Sobacki, Phil Norris and a few other (not Ray!) along with many Big Bore idols, Carl Allison (Freelancers), Doug “Pooh Bear” Kenyon (BD, Colts), Tony Pon (SCV), Charlie Groh(1st Marines, 2nd Battalion, 5th Regiment, Item Company, WWI/WW2/Korea)…..they really made it all worth it. Ther all could mop the floor with me; talent-wisae especially. *Fun Fact* – It would be Pooh’s last DC performance – he joined to surpise his daughter at DCI who was in the Colts – a rookie CG (coolest dad ever – RIP ol’ buddy!)
There were about 200 people in the Kingsmen that year; we rocked an honor guard with a full Color Presentation so of those 200, lets say 140 were holding an instrument. Here is a rough estimate of how they broke down:
- Kingsmen Alumni = 22 percent
- Freelancers Alumni = eight percent
- VK Alumni = 10 percent
- Concord Alumni = 25 percent
- Santa Clara Alumni = 25 percent
- Other or band-geeks living out their childhood fantasies 10 percent
Note there would be LOTS of crossover here: SCV/BD, VK/BD, Freelancers/BD, Kmen/BD …etc. Only Marty Jo Basset, Bill Varju and Tim Meehan having marched “the cycle” (VK, Freelancers, SCV & BD; with ho iarble mention that Tim SOLOED in ALL FOUR, Marty “The One Man Party” played upper lead sop in all four; and Bill Marched Contra, Barry (@VK in 95), Mello (BD, yr unknown) and Soprano – A DOUBLE CYCLE!!!!! Credit to Scott Steward as well for marching, though in just two that I know of; check out his 1990 semis solo when he’s like….a fucking 13 year old. (will add YT link if it still exists) Credit also to Jack M. for TEACHING VK/SCV/BD/Troopers and possibly Sac.
*sigh* better get to the meat here …. so we’re camping at LBSU and it’s like a biunch of adults with families/jobs/responsibilities are kids again (we were; well we felt like it; my room Anthony; whom partied 1000th as muvh as I did at that time – we got along famously and are still friends; having marched Renegades & Kingsmen Alumni together (links to follow). Each day we hit a practice field about 500 yrds from the dorms. Stretch. chat, plan, apply sunblock and Gold Bond, sectionals, lunch, ensemble, dinner, then either a show or more ensemble….then party, pass out, rinse & repeat. For us age-outs WE ARE ON CLOUD NINE; praying September never comes.
One week before Our final show (sniff…) at DCI I hear a rumbling that the cymbal section wants to quit en masse. Why? Apparently [to paraphrase] – WE CANT TAKE ONE MORE SECOND OF [MIKE’S] ABUSIVE BULLSHIT. CHOOSE. HIM. OR US. Our Fearless leader and DM Gary Kean investoigated, to find that Braga was running the cymbal line as though this were 1987 and THIS was the 1987 SCV Cymbal line. Lets start with some definitions.
A drum corps cymbal line – an extremely physical job from high school level up to division one (World Class) the cymbal line marches, attempts crazy difficult drill, accentuates the visual feel of the program. Musically all sorts of sounds can be made via scrapes, crashes, “shings” and tastefully marching in front of the battery so they have a crash or ride or (???) cymbal to use on the fly. Cyms are part expert dancers, military-precesion-marchers, elegant musicians and marching masters.
The SCV Cymbal Line – These guys are famous for being “so far over the top as to be obscene. Every time I saw them; they did everything together: they sit together on the drum bus. When the direcgtor (or any staff address them) they stand in a perfect rank, side-toe-contact. They rarely if ever make mistakes. Holes in this line are filled by an audition of 1000 competing for one spot. They eat togther – yes, in a rank. At night, they stack their bunks adjacent, in a rank. Every SCV member busts their ass; but NO ONE works as hard as the cyms. Finally; no one in their right mind would mess with them while on tour; they are tougher than any d-line for any college football team and were they soldiers? They’d return from combat HEAVILY decorated …. pardon the expression but you ever met a group of guys so tight they’s “eat each others’ sh!%?” —ok that’s the SCV Cymbal line for the past 30 years at least.
So Braga, even though, this ostensibly laid-back “Senior Corps” that only rehearses weekends (9-5 in stead of 9-sunup the next day, ‘EIGHT days a week’) and will not receive a score (Sr. Corps are usually exhibition at DCI shows) …Braga is not only acting like he is back in an SCV-hardcore-as-fuck-hand-me-that-bowl-of-shit Cymbal line….he is making threats, making some of his fellow Cym CRY. Doing the opposite of why we took off work and pissed off our kids & significant others – to make visually pleasing, aethetically beutiful, sonically sonorous, loud music – for us, for the fans, for everyone. The sxn reported; AND BRAGA (on the field of honor**) says [PARAPHRASED]
NO, FUCK YOU GARY IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE
…again WIP this mess is about a quarter done. Sorry to put you blast Mike….no I’m not sorry….You suck….I’m ashamed to call my self any sort of “alumni” list that beats both our names. You are a disgrace to the Silver Star, The Green Shield and the memory of Gail & Myron. Start my NEVER HITTING ANOTHER WOMAN EVER. If you eant to hit someone….the comment section is below. -c
Braga decided (at some point) that as de facto Cym section leader of Kingmen Alumni; the best way to run the line was to act like a fascist white-power-prison-gang “grand-intimidator – thinking that excellence could be achieved via anger, cursing, threats, yelling and general douchery. If you’ve been incarverated or not; pictire that Napoleonic psychopath you pray never crosses your path. “I just want to do my time & get out with most of my teeth. Then you meet Braga. He wants to know “who you are, where youre from, what your deal is….are you a narc? He makes comments about your manhood to compensate for his lack of. I mean, what kind of man has two violent strikes for beating his wife? Usually the kind to scared to hit a dude.
Braga created an atmosphere of misery for the other Cymbal players in 2007, thinking this was the right thing to do …. One afternoon at Long Beach State; the Cyms had a meeting w/o their fear[full] leader; they decided marching in the Kmen Alumni no longer fell into the “fun” category. It would be fun if not for Braga; so they took the issue to Kean and said “Him or us.”
Simple, lose the douche. That’s where the story should end. With lightning-strike exceptions; an SCV member or alum obeys on0field orders from staff, section leaders, the Horn Sgt., all techs, consultants, caption heads and the director without question, so with my 1991 Kanstul 3v G Baritone at a pistol; I was shocked to hear Braga ARGUING with the fucking Drum Major!!! He was refusing to leave, saying he did nothing wrong. Kean is a smart, shrewd and peaceful man. He was not about to risk a figth with this hulking ,ass clearly looking for a violent outlet for his maniacy. The KAC rented dorms, a parking structire and a practice field; making the field (thank God) corps property. Member or no; the director/DM asks you to leave its not up for discyssion. NEVER on the field of honor. Before Kean could finish rationalizing “leave no you sciopath. Please leave and dont ever come back.” —several members hit 911 on their cells. The LBSU PD and LBPD showed up quickly. Braga was dragged off the field by them snarling and shooting red daggers out of his eyes, blaming the staff, the corps, the Cyms, Kean, the members, using words I woulnt place in a artice ABOUT the field of honor.
Not Familiar? Any field is a sacred place. Treat it that way if you ever want to march on Game (Saturday) Night. Since the 70s (60s?) Guards say a prayer to field before entering it. Batteries & Hornlines dress as nice as weather allows on the Field of Honor, they don’t swear on it, the NEVER sit on it, They use G-rated language on the field, they act professional; because they ARE. Only the teachers, leaders and technicians talk betweenn takes. Rehearsals are done with a purpose, memberws run back to their sets. Breaks only exist to keep memebers hydrated. We keep out ears open and our eyes up. We treat a painted field better than a board room in our chosen professions. To disobey chain of command, to shout vilent threats, to force law enforcement to drag you pff the field and worst of all; to stalk the corps after like a NeckBeard whose My Little Pony collection came to life…is deplorable.
—–next—–part III. Deep Background & Diane Feinstein….
So MSFT…in a last gasp effort to get you to use their software; is offering a newer; slightly more useful version of DropBox. You not only get some free cloud space; but instead of loading you up with a 90-day bloatware trial of Office 365 [as they did last time], they give you trial access to OneDrive.com (sorry no backlink –btw caution; the parody mktg doc im going to try and post HAS active links, one will take right back to the homepage at Tapper7.com; but the rest will take you to #NSFW in any way shape or form sites….just dont click them (crud now I KNOW you will…) anyway lets try n post this….it should be obvious what was weitten by Microsoft Marketing and what was edited by this writer ….Test – see if link to awful parody works ….Getting started with OneDrive parody by Tapper v0
Support our sponsor below – help keep The Pick running like a well-oiled ..err… ok I really mailed this one in – better content and a new podcast coming soon – we have new equipment here at SStudios. Woot!
Update – WP doesnt want to post their PDF either – so here is the text in raw cut & paste form – remember I changed the link-rels; (if they work which I doubt…) dont click if at work or want to retain marriage! xD
What is OneDrive?
OneDrive is another shit product from Microsoft. And it’s free[mium] this means it has in-app purchases so we can try to trick you out of your $ or try to convince you to buy crap you don’t need. You get 15 GB of free storage with your Microsoft account, so you can store all types of pr0n in one place and get to them from any Starbucks
Friends & family can easily hack into your OneDrive files, including photos, login credentials, dating Websites and your bank account – even your “secret” pr0n videos, And OneDrive works with Windows and Office (in case you didn’t know that your OS is compatible with our nearly value-less desktop publishing programs such as “Word” “Excel” “Access” and PowerPoint – you may still use these programs if you fell through a wormhole and landed in 1998, so it’s simple to work with OneDrive files on your computer and collaborate with other people on documents. You can do this for free using Google Docs; or if you need to collaborate at the “above two guys running a weed clinic” -level; we have SharePoint; Sun, oops, we mean Oracle also has a far better product for this; but it does MRP/ERP and other useful shit rendering “Office” utterly useless; they call it Salesforce.com. On a budget? Open-source pioneers Apache offer a suite of tools for publishing; drawing; collaboration; dB, spreadsheets and all sorts of other useful functions; it’s called OpenOffice.
The clock is really ticking on our ability to make $ on Office so buy now….please!
Add files from your computer
To add files to OneDrive, just drag them into your computer’s OneDrive folder using File Explorer or Finder. The files will automatically sync across all of your devices that have OneDrive installed (so not your iPhone, your Mac desktop or your Android device (sorry!). So you can drag a photo from your laptop to your
OneDrive—and later open it in OneDrive on your phone. By that we mean the Windows Phone you don’t own.
Add files from your phone or tablet
To add photos and videos on your phone or tablet to OneDrive, use the OneDrive app. Even better—you can also choose to turn on camera backup to automatically save the photos and videos you take to OneDrive. So even if you lose your phone or tablet, you won’t lose your memories!
Add files using the OneDrive website
You can also add files from any computer, tablet, or phone by using the OneDrive website. Just go to OneDrive.com, sign in, and then tap or click Upload.
You can share individual files and even entire folders without attaching anything. Send an email with a link to what you’d like to share (in case you didn’t know you could already do this using any email client made in the last 25 years)—and rest assured that everything else in your OneDrive will stay private (except for all the people who already fished, socially engineered, brute-forced or simply requested your login credentials). To share items from the OneDrive website, just select the check box in the upper-right corner of the item and choose Share.
See, in software engineering; the requirements were to “add a method to share objects with other users” Sharing takes one step IRL; I hand you my smoke – done. But since this is Microsoft; where we begin sentemnces with words like “but,” “and” ….we build outdated software one wants or needs; our OS will crash if you forget to reboot; perhaps our most famously idiotic OS UI/UX design flaw goes all the way back to our first GUI; Windows 3.0 (which Xerox’s Parc Research Facility allowed us AND a marketing firm called Blueberry [or something] to build a OS’s that would put a PC in every home in America, later the Western World; now nearly the Globe) so it wasn’t us that invented it; but we know when to repurpose software & weasel out of paying! Anyway; as we started to create Windows; the topic of “shutting down” the computer came up….a senior engineer who hated C & C++ (said we should built it in Ada…anyway) he said “we already made “start” button; let’s just put it there.” A pesky C++ programmer piped up and said “…but stop is the opposite of start, therefore one can’t be designed as a subset of the other.” He was promptly fired. We hired another C/C++ guy who nodded and agreed with the sr. Engineer in all the right places; so we released his family from captivity and had the FBI drop the treason charge against him.
Collaborate with Office
OneDrive works with Office, so it’s easy to collaborate [its also easy to repeat yourself 3 times in 2 sentences!). Instead of sending around different copies of documents, you can give other people permission
to edit the document directly (just like any other CMS on the market!). You can even collaborate with people who don’t have Office installed on their computers—they can open and edit documents in OneDrive using Office Online. Of course; we aren’t responsible for other OS’s so the preceding statement is not only untested –if it fails its YOUR FUCKIN PROBLEM JACK!
Get OneDrive on your devices
Use OneDrive on your computer, tablet, and phone to get to your stuff from anywhere. You can download OneDrive apps at OneDrive.com/download.
Where can I learn more? For more info, check out OneDrive.com/about or go to OneDrive.com/support.
Whats the best way to kill myself?
Auto-erotic asphyxiation is in style for winter 2017!
By GA production artist Gwen Carrington….the following is a biography of this writer in Emoji-only form. Not bad. Write one about someone else…. do you know enough to hit the highlights of their life via symbology (
Here’s my life through someone else’s perspective using emojis as pallete…..