After pointing out so eloquently that this writer was a “typical pretentious trumpet” (yes you read that correct dear reader, he think I’m a small-bore-earthworm-shooter!) Doug-E-Fresh would roll over in his grave. *Aaaaaaaaanywayz……*
A GS of his name revealed the commonly-named man had died in a freakish homo-erotic asphyxiation incident a few years back.1 For those who don’t know, I refer you to the TV show “Six Feet Under” starring Michael C. Hall. Whom this writer met (name drop alert) at a Ralphs near Hollywood & Highland. Myself and my lady-friend were absolutely starstruck.
Picture your fav TV show. Burn Notice, Mr. Robot, Better Call Saul, Big Little Lies, Orange is the new Black…..then picture yourself in line behind them at RALPHS. What do you say/do? Nothing? Well dear reader I could not. After he paid for his goods; I got his attention;
“Excuse m-m-m-me, Michael?”
“I just wanted to tell you [remember this is ca. 2006-7] that “Dexter” is BY FAR the most well-written, well directed and produced series on television right now. My friend and I wait with baited breathe for the debut of each and every next episode. We watch it live whenever it airs.”
[surprisingly, he said] “:You know, not many people take the time to come up to me and say that…I work hard at what I do, what you just said means a lot….thank you”
1 notice. The story about MCH is real; the death of B. Gainer is not. It is as Mr. T would have it “fake news” you want fake? Ill spooned it to you; but it will be appropriately labeled as Editorial.
That is all; I could use your help so plz visit a link below. Are you BG? Take the SoCal Pick Challenge for enemies of the publication. 1)Get AIDs 2)Die 3)there is no step 3; rat. 1&2 till complete; thank you and merci beaucoup. -
Advert follows VISIT IT’S FREE!!!!!
ALSO PLZ NOTE WE ARE UNDER CONSTRUCTION ONCE AGAIN AS WP MADE ANOTHER UPDATE
As you may know, we here at the Pick deny advertisers from Google’s ad-universe for a variety of reasons–
Ads for any product or service that is a scam or appears “scammy” (certain online universities, too-good-to-be-true and the like …)
Ads containing visually unappetizing imagery or text (pictures of foot fungus, or weight-loss “comparisons” or “shaming” pix = image of a grossly obese & scantily clad person, yech!)
Organizations that interfere with the publisher’s morals or ethics (stalker apps, Penn State ….)
Any product that disguises itself as a clickable portion of MY PAGE (despite my compliance and strict adherence to adequate labeling/positioning/sectioning away from legit content…)
The featured image (above) shows a snippet of data you won’t be able to read unless you are a Google client, employee or Ad-partner (like us!). In it, I’ve continued to deny online gambling ads. Gambling is by far the worst and most damaging — to self and those close — of all the addictions. Worse even, than cigarettes or alcohol. Today, I’ve allowed “downloadables” which I presume is “freemium” content, like Clash of Clans or Candy Crush. “South Park” did an episode on this, entitled “freemium” [if memory serves] if that word sounds like guttural French to you, well, it kinda is, but if it MEANS no more that something guttural in a dead language, I recommend Trey Parker & Matt Stone’s take on it to explain. I see no ethical issue [downloads are usually free, the extra content, levels, truncated wait-time is available for purchase if you are wealthy, extremely impatient or extremely gullible ….] As election 2016 approaches, being a media outlet, I’ve opted IN to “political ads” if you’ve seen my awful caricatures, listened to Bill’s rants on TapCast or read my #RNC2016 coverage & editorial, you’ll know that this writer is not a fan of Trump…but this is ‘muhricuh…dammit! I’ll defend his right to plaster “Make America Great AGAIN” all over ever single ad unit on this site if he wants…that’s free speech 101.
If you ever see an ad that offends you, is in poor tastes, looks “scammy,” or represents an organization, institution you despise,take the time to leave a comment. If we agree I’ll ban the shit out of it, promise! to do list for this site
update to wp 4.6 (must backup custom php 1st)
posts – [with original artwork!] re- election, the economy, career choicers, investment projections, fresh ideas and the two new languages we are hip-dep in Swiftand R
design – ongoing [wip] updates
learn to create a child theme + tutorial
more regular and higher quality podcasts, possibly including original music [stay tuned!]
Orange-u-glad-u frequent a site where the publisher goes out of his way, not only to keep content fresh, original, timely, interesting and worth that 15mins/day where you have nuthin better to do, but keeps the site secure, updated, continually upgrades design, appends how-to’s regardin’ CMS and front-end-webdev where applicable…but is also are excruciatingly anal about 3rd party content. Hopefully the political ads and “downloadables” are not too ugly — all ads are subject to ban, same with blacklisting of the organization/companies they bleed from at any time for any reason. here we go kids, below is a footer style ad that ostensibly will not offend your (or MY) delicate sensibilities.
*****update – the 1st published version of this post contained a poorly-drawn picture of a human foot with big nasty looking toes, therefore the advertiser was susequently banned, sorry if you had to see that. The biz seemed legit, but no ugliness on my aesthetically-pleasing site consarnit!!!!
HAPPY LABOUR DAY – PS CHRIS W. IS FOR HIRE! GET AT him USING THE COMMENTS, VIA SM OR text the BUSINESS LINE IF YOU ARE LUCKY & POSESS IT
Not shown – many of my readers opt out of being spied on constantly, the sample size is big enough for us however – we are looking at about 3,000 unique HUMAN visitors.
Number 10 … Motorola XT1080 Droid Ultra – I thought they made pagers, what are you doing on my site w/ your beeper?
Number 9 … Microsoft Windows RT Tablet – uh what the hell is that? The Surface maybe? I tried the keyboard on that pos once and that was it for me. To each his own [crappy mobile device!]
Number 8….The iPod – there you go! I have one too…save $ on the data by using wifi …I had my last one so long I wore it down to nothing and hucked it for $30, but all the time vested in “Clash of Clans” and “Smule Magic Piano” was all 4 naught till I replaced it. Thanks again, mom! (the data doesn’t reflect my own testing of the site using said iPod – about 25 of you have one…or your kids do, in which case you need to check the settings…my site is clearly labeled “mature” so junior can’t read about murder, government corruption, drugs from paprika to sodium pentethol and jokes that veer on the side of xenophobic, racially insensitive, chauvinistic and intentionally offensive more oft. Than not …nu?
Number 7 ….Samsung SM-N910V Galaxy Note 4 getting to the popular pocket-rockets here, which leads us to
Number 6 …. Samsung SM-G900V Galaxy S5 – ok so thats those of u who upgraded due to
generous family holiday gift
you lost your s4
your s4 was stolen
you will die if you dont upgrade, so…you did…thats cool I aint no judge…only 1 of those! -or-
you used the s4 to “go upside the head” on a hopefully deserving recipient, or worse, you really lost it and just blasted it against the wall….since 20 percent of my beloved readers are females, we must not leave out
DROPPED IN TOILET.
Number 5. The LG D850 G3 – a decent phone – Androids round out nearly half the top 10. make sure you invest at least $15 in a case this phone is beyond expensive..the LG4 will be off the chain expensive. Kinda big but it fits in most pockets.
Number 4. The LG-H810/H81010b G4 …ok so it is out …no big surprise there
Number 3. The bronze medal mobile device for fledgling 2016 is …the iPad – im not told if you use the 1 or the 2 – I figure that of the 1000 of you….800 have the 2
Number 2. your silver cell is the Google Nexus….north of 1500 of you bought one last year “just like yer told to…” and speaking of doing what your told, the winner of the 4-week-best-paper-weight to follow your hero Donald “Quacker” TRUMP is…[buzz-roll plz…..]
Number 1. you know what it is. Why waste precious prose. There is a 70 percent chance it is in your hand right now. Read the label; yeah…the newest one…you shameless bastard. It’s why you’re my reader and one of the reasons I love you so much – no shame -no regrets- fuck it. You have the most desirable mobile device in existence because you CAN. Bravo sir (or madam)
*Internet Security Notice* (Copy of FB post follows): Dateline – Silicon Valley – and THE WORLD….
That is all – plz update when you have time and as always – get back to work and stop reading my site AT WORK. At least keep the window small (NOT FULL SCREEN) and if you you work in a cubicle farm and DON’T share a cubicle with Ops and MKTG Directors (as I have) just get one of those stick-on rear-view mirrors …you can get ’em at TrueValue Hardware. (TrueValue is an official Tapper-approved Legit business).
Much love; thx for all the support and RT’s on Twitter …all that s—. Love you guys. -t
-footer adverts my or may not follow, asynchronous and synchronous .js ads follow:
[test asyn ad]
Ahh the advantages of having a fast bike to get to the scene of breaking news fast and the equipment to document it….what more could a freelance journalist ask for? If you like action, explosions, mayhem, bedlam and fiery columns of gasoline-accelerated brush-fires, then this amazing clip is for you. #NSFW – Mature themes and language.
To my Californian readers: Get ready for lots more where this came from…. “Tick. Tick. BOOM!” –Tektor from “Falling Skies”
Keep me running, shooting and writing by supporting my sponsors:
Next time— part II; Fallout – the after effects of exploding Cox Cable Vans; sociological and technical. No one was injured in this accident. The driver is ok…so no te preocupes…it’s all in good fun. I’m sure the van was insured.
New responsive advert isn’t serving correctly. A Test and [if it works] a sponsored link follow:
NOTE ALSO: *sigh* like PHP….JS has a tendency to decay over time. Take the time out to review your code if ads are starting to get weird. I was able to get a NEW responsive/asynchrounous AD to serve (seen above) in 5 minutes by copy/paste THEN removing all the spaces the code generator inserted needlessly.
I had thought this was a result of Advertisers NOT queued up to serve themselves on my site (ie…perhaps I’m not THAT in-demand and it will take a day or two. THIS WAS NOT THE CASE) I cannot say who they are per Google’s Ad Policy and my own Ethical Code…but FOUR COMPANIES were lined up to serve ads on my site (good/legit advertisers though…check them out…)and being denied due to spaces, too many spaces, not enough spaces or missing semi-colons in the code. Kinda brings me back to Computer Science 101. It’s always a god-damn missing semi-colon isn’t it? Thanks Google but you guys REALLY suck sometimes. Pay me s#!t AND make me look stupid….NICE right.
Around the turn of the millennium a new technology for animation was born: Flash. With it, an animator needn’t “a sweatshop in Korea with 50 animators working 24/7 at gunpoint ….and chickens running around”—said Mike Reiss, 26-year veteran producer of “The Simpsons”—Reiss is a four-time Emmy-winning producer, He wrote for Johnny Carson and Conan O’Brien in addition to a creator credit for “The Critic,” and scores of children’s novels – notably How Murray Saved Christmas, which NBC/Universal turned into a movie that aired Christmas Day last year to rousing reviews and accolades.
Flash can be programmed to do a great deal of the animation itself; a golden age of mature-themed animation made it’s way to the Web via Newgrounds and later Icebox. Icebox went defunct for a spell; they are back up though! With the advent of YouTube, animation host Newgrounds faded into the background as well. On the NEW Icebox, there exists ZERO NEW content, but all the CLASSIC animated series are is posted to an AWFUL WordPress blog (worse than mine) and the vids are hosted on YT-natch. It’s rough-around the edges but a whole lot better than nothing. Brilliant, hysterical, edgy and outrageously talented creations are resurrected…thanks to increasingly inexpensive Web-hosting.
This is a common model for modern publishing (I use it myself)…
WP engine: cheap…embedding video through YouTube – free.
Now all the fantastic episodes of SEVERAL brilliant “webtoons” are avail. It’s weird …. the episodes have so few views…Some episodes of “Superhero Roommate” featuring Brian Posehn…one of my all-time favorite comedians…has barely 200 views since uploading *ahem* *scratch that…* “Leftovers part 1,” up for two years, has just over 100 views- I’d like to help him change that:
The surge of creative possibilities attracted a flood of heavy-hitter producers, writers, musicians and other artists. They were captivated by the ease of animating and the uncensored freedom offered by the InterWebz. In an eerily self-prophesying episode, Larry David piled on for a new series called “The Paula Principle” David creates a senator who’s just been nominated for president, he laments, self-deprecates and yells at his manager in classic LD-style, noting that he’s a complete hack, unqualified, in over his head…too stupid to do the job. Sadly…it was the only episode ever made. If I ever meet him, I will ask what would’ve happened to the “Complete Idiot” Senator, written an voiced by David himself and VERY MUCH a prequel to the style he would use on “Curb.” :
Only 290 views! How many times do you think “The Soup Nazi” episode of Seinfeld has been watched? I’ve seen it…3x? Would it be safe to say over a billionconsidering the syndication and DVD sets…and the fans who watch favorite episodes over and over again?
Another favorite of mine that has been brought back to life is “Mr. Wong” by Pam Brady. Mr. Wong is a SEVERE asian stereotype, his boss abuses him w/o mercy…and he gets involved with opiates, binge-drinking, hallucinations and “accidently” turns gay in this masterful series. The production value is top-notch. The main-theme played on the harpsichord at whiplash speeds in later episodes is a nod to how many heavy-hitting artists/musicians Flash technology attracted, here is episode 1, “Urine Trouble,” :
As you can see, this series was so good it was picked up by Mondo in 2009 and has nearly a quarter-million views since then. I assure you, episode 1 previously had well-over a million views through Newgrounds and the old version of Icebox.
Another series that enjoyed commercial success was “Queer Duck,” written by Mike Reiss, voiced by top-of-the-food-chain V/O KING Billy West (he was/is Ren & Stimpy amoung countless others on nearly every successful animated series/movie EVER – The Simpsons, Futurama…you name it). Rupaul joined up to write a SWINGIN ‘intro and outro that he sang masterfully. The gay jokes are hysterical, Reiss branched off from The Simpsons as he was growing sick of the media’s portrayal of homosexuals, though he is not HIMSELF gay…at all..he’s Jewish, like me…and we have a tendency to come to the aid of oppressed groups; particularly those known to have an artistic gift (women, blacks and gays!) by promoting them…and taking our cut (Naturally…) Here’s episode two; I first watched when Reiss gave a seminar at Cal Poly, I interviewed him for the Daily and I asked him to show me the most offensive episode he had in the can so far. This was what he showed me….btw did I mention all the content is #NSFW? …I didn’t? Ok….well… it’s not…if you haven’t been fired yet let’s move on…sorry about that.
Yes..this series was so good it was picked up by Showtime.
He also created “Hard-Drinkin’ Lincoln,” which is self-explanatory. It’s about Honest Abe as an honestly s__t-faced, hardcore alcoholic, hijinks ensue and he usually gets shot at the end of every episode, making J.W. Booth a hero. It’s February, so here ya’ go….Reiss’ “Black History Month” tribute:
Speaking of purposely-offensive cringe-humor, great music and “period pieces,” “Meet The Millers” is one of my all-time favs…written by David Zuckerman. Dan Castelleneta (Homer S.) does V/O and Frank Sinatra Jr. wrote/sang the theme. It takes place in a xenophobic, commie-fearing, HEAVILY racist/anti-semitic suburb of Washington D.C. in the 1950s. The father, an FBI agent, uses intimidation, fear-tactics, physical abuse and societal ills to his HILARIOUS advantage, which …naturally, he teaches to his children (when he’s not beating them of course)…Due to the Jennifer Aniston flick of same name, a normal web-query BURIES this great series deep down the list, even if you qualify the search for videos-only. I’ll plumb the depths of Youtube to find you an especially offensive/hysterical episode for ya, dear reader:
The dead-serious-severity in the voice of the older brother as he warns his black friend not to touch his sister and the BLAST against the French is daring and thought-provoking social satire…especially the ironic use of a laugh track when the jokes are at their most brutal not even 500 views yet.!…and now you know why the French kiss you twice!
So Icebox is BACK UP…someone setup a WP blog and assigned each series to a category. There are many more excellent series-es…es(????)….. I personally recommend “Starship Regulars,” I’m fairly certain it’s safe for work, it was initially scripted for network TV…”s__t” and “f__k” are substituted with futuristic terms, so it works. This one probably has the highest production value of them all. It’s a bummer there are so few episodes. I’m not a Trekkie by any stretch ..nor do I get too excited about Star Wars…sorry to burst your bubble if you thought I did. Remember: I’m a geek…. not a nerd; HUGE DIFFERENCE. I would’ve been all about this show had a major network bitten down on this…but, no dice: (Showtime did-yet it had a pitifully short run their Web site)
NOT EVEN A THOUSAND VIEWS!!! This is some of the greatest multimedia artwork ever created…and no one knows about it!
Even the new Icebox website is presented in carelessly written CSS…the videos out-span column-one, the new site is messy-carelessly slapped together-glad it’s there but sad to see it in such shabby condition. I present these on my site to promote the genius of their work…and to tidy up the FORMAT in which it is presented– Heroes of mine like Larry David and Mike Reiss (I STILL can’t believe I got to meet…even kick it w/ that guy in college…) THEY DESERVE BETTER. So I’m giving it to them. Check out some funny s— you’ve never seen or heard of before! None of my artist/writer/musician readers will be disappointed. This is Tapper-approved multimedia content we’re talkin’ about here!
My interview with Reiss was placed in the can at the Mistake Daily, so I have no access to it, but I’m in the process of extracting data off another old drive…I’m hoping it’s in there. I placed an order through an IT friend/associate, it took him a while to find the li’l gadget, there’s an issue with reading data off old IDE hard drives (obviously) plus I spent a little extra on a component that will interpret the data and send it out via USB 2.0, PLUS it fits in a case to protect the drive from electromagnetism. I don’t want to extract it from my old win95 box (ca. 1998) till it comes in….for all I know my cell phone …or a WiFi signal could fry it –frequency-modulation and EM are NOT on my list of expertise. All told it should work just like a thumb-drive –though it needs it’s own dedicated power supply, again, to protect it from getting sharked or de-magnetized. I’m srsly excited to get into my personal treasure-trove of writing, music and C++ code from my Cal Poly Dorm Days! This is from a tech-era when UNIX, C++/STL, Ethernet, Quake II, FTP, ICQ, IRC, Sun Microsystems, SPARC Solaris, Silicon Graphics (SGI) and Worms: Armageddon ruled the day! Facebook, Twitter, Google, Napster, .NET, even MYSPACE(!!!) weren’t even fully-formed IDEAS yet. It’s only 16 years ago, but that’s milleniain cyberspace-time. No one even says “cyberspace” anymore…see how dated it all is? In 1998, it would be six years until I finally caved-in and became the last man in America and got a cell-phone! One thing hasn’t changed…Microsoft still sucks.
Big-time fun to come…much of it (the interesting or historically-significant “it’s“) I will publish here.
So…..Is there any truth to the rumor that Springfield, ??…WAS IN FACT based on San Luis Obispo? I put that question to Reiss. Stay tuned…dear reader, stay tuned. 
Saba.edu – appears to be a hack medical school…some mail-away scam shit. BYE!
Penn State – you sheltered a kid-toucher for….40 yrs? for your damn football pgm????
— YOU! I RESERVE THE RIGHT.——– CHOMOS NOT WELCOME….PSU.edu-Banned for life – apologies if you saw an advert from Penn State, I blocked the entire university and its molecular engineering program. Engineer up some morals before u come near this web site. thx.
test: make sure a proper ad comes thru:
Subtitle: How to fix a WP crash remotely using FTP.
synban: script keeeps truncating right half of .js embedded content. **Update 12/14 – fixed.**
***Update Dec. 2014*** PHP Flush did the trick…thx Cuz.***
Start by dumping that theme you love so much: bad news…like me you had a few OCD breaks w/ reality and overdid the CSS/JS/HTML4-5 editing to “pretty it up” it’s ok I did it too
1. Choose a new and dressed-down theme.
2. Crack a book on CSS or goto the only free tutorial sponsored by the w3c: and use their CSS Roadmap.
3. Backup your WP data, I suggest an FTP client. You may need to contact your host-server for admin and file-swapNswitch capabilities.
4. Backup your current themes/fxns/data and style before you tear it up. One pHp syntax error and it’s CURTAINS-then you WILL need FTP to get it back up n runnin’
5. If you are not qualified; have your kid do it.
***I owe it to my sponsors to make sure they have access to all of Google’s std lib. of adTypes, so you’ll see mostly ads in this post. This is only a test but the sponsor data displayed is no less relevant.****
***Update Dec. 2014 – 728px exceeds width oftext box. WIP*** Sponsor .js test Horizontal Basic 728×90 follows:
**UPDATE** dec2014a : 728×90 no good for posts, footer/header only. Ad removed.
Btw after all that shit Content ID put me through for no reason? May as well fire back:
If you know how to use t0awr@ntz…script:
Xsh%>run \t ^^^^^
Xsh%>browser “HYPTXXfercntrlPrtcll// the(Yarrrrrr!!!!)DOTessee”
Xsh%>inject pr0n.getName || flick.getName || whatevuhz
Xsh%>hash etz string* argvector V
DO: Raise middle finger in the direction of your choice.
Synchronous Advertisement Test 320×100 follows:
Asynchronous Advertisement Test 320×100 follows: **TEST TBC…** Special shoutout to our generous and well-respected advertisers….check ’em out…they were designed FOR you WHEN you visit MY site. The algorithm was written by Goto.com a decade ago, still in use and as close to an AI (Artificially Intelligent) program I have seen to date. GoTo retired on the settlement $ w/ Google. Plz scope out their site; I used it quite often in college.
Credit where credit is due: visit GoTo for searches and to find a nice gift for loved one.goto.com is Tapper7 approved safe, secure, honest and NOT a scam – just legit and hyper-talented webdevs.
From a recent FB post by me….it got long and I haven’t really been able to get much work done at all due to personal, health and technical problems….but here’s some some of that sweet sweet info….
“Ill let you in…if you like my group on……faaaaaacebooooook….” from “Let me in” by the great Marc M.
1. more of my web-content to post as audio…like a hybrid blog/podcast…I got a sweet recording device at radio shack …going out of business fire sale 80 bucks for the gadget I wanted….the only better model has a a bigger SD card (which I have) and includes an FM radio….who the f— needs FM radio? Anyway its $300 less than usual…if i didn’t buy it the liquidator will take it for $5-maybe. had to buy it.
2. finally created a multi-track recording (you know…like a vocal track laid down w/ headphones on to keep time but record my voice/instrument only?) Always thought the second track would need to hit the downbeat or the post at the exact same time….nope. Only needs to-be IN-TIME. time_shift(); is so sweet…it’s all relative man…..
3. if you haven’t already….some of you will get a note about a special project I’m working on in a PM.
(lots of traffic, but the more I get into web design the less proud I am of the quality of what it claims to do—–answer questions….I’d like to write some decent stuff, cuz all the other “writers” submit hacky formulaic, SEO blog bull— like “10 Things you NEED TO KNOW about the new iPOD” —(starting a sentence with a number is horrid grammar and violates AP Style…but it seems to jive with search-crawlers so EVERY POST we have looks like this; (we even have a template: degrading the English language may be the only thing I find offensive)….”8 Movies you haven’t..” … “5 crucial steps….” “20 must-haves….”
This is just shenanigans so my first article may attack EVERY SINGLE OTHER AUTHOR on grounds LCD, copycat, subhuman, drooling moron web authoring.
feel free to submit a story idea…even a story..ill publish it and give full credit.
Considering: “Twenty Ways I can tell your work is designed to be indexed and ranked by machines-not read by human beings.
Thirty LinkedIn Profiles that are programs not real people OR…
Three countries that do not belong on the World Wide Web.
Five critical security holes in Google Products. would be fun… but there is a potential to create harm there and it breaks my ethical code.
…I also found a SJ Merc article that I haven’t read because someone is alleged to have embezzled (which I think means “skim” who cares, right? little off the top never hurt anybody not really news ….to The Merc it’s news cuz the guy is a BAR Member practicing in the SJ-area….it’s VERY NEWSWORTHY TO A VET/FRIEND/FAN/SUPPORTER of West Coast Drum Corps and probably well-known to all corps types worldwide cuz this was …….a soloist ….who made a….you know…that one finals show we ALWAYS watch at big get-togethers….usually for the people who have NEVER SEEN IT? (and to make the people who get creeped out by it…like me….get creeped out – because of shared sadism I suppose?)
I usually can’t watch or listen because I find it disturbing. I won’t print the corps name or the yr cuz you KNOW. You may be one of the people who gets a kick out of the [incident] and watching everyone squirm and cringe (you sick sick animal!) So this anonymous individual was in the Merc …I was always told he was never heard from or seen again. Not going to link to it….sorry…way too much info posted