Publisher, site & Cast placed on 30-day hold by Administration ….

Yes, Mr. Welke is a straight up J-cat 5150 18-wheeler on 17 flat tires TRUCK, coming to halt via e-brake, shifting into low, swervin [Durbin!] and hopefully coming in for clean landing amidst a runaway truck mound. Jerry’s easy Tenor will lighten the moment before the CHP places mne in 4-point restraints in a [hopefully] tastefully-buttoned up hospital gown. Methinks this JG classic was playing when they found the rig.I likie the ones with the blue dots.
TapCast, now finally with fresh builds of Audacity, WP, FFmpeg Encoder & libmp3LAME.dll just ejected 2 new casts to let you know the ICU found its blood type ….O-….. the tracheotomy was successful and it will slowly revive, as did this writer in 2012. You can actually place this mess via iTunes, but for you ‘ultimate lazys’ out there I have an important question; ‘do you like Huey Lewis & The News?’
Associates & ***Performers/Staff at Impulse!*** get at me via email chris.e.welke@gmail …. the undisclosed location where Q-list celebs (me) and fmr. A-listers (Miley) wear robes, play footsy, drink coffee, talk at each other re: ‘where it all went wrong’ wont be of much help. its secure/discreet/private & as a journalist i’d rather you not violate anyone’s privacy besides moi. My drop-dead-gorgeous Suicide Gurl/gf/friends/w/benefits ‘Nic’ 1st stayed there about 11 yrs ago and the clientele was shocking. Did you watch the Academy Awards? Ok folks..there they are, the bvig ass black dudes, theyve got as straight jacket…mmm..mmmmmph!!!!
eeeee yuuuuuuu exxxxxt unnnnf!!!!!! Eyerra ssss nnnn ugleeeee ffft piyyyyg!!!! uuuuussshhhhh idddddd n-eye-nnnnnn eeeeelevennnnn!!!! Rrrrrumpo is uBer eeeeyond ay……ay…..mmmmm! AY….ummmphf _AYYYY!!!!! [ok cmon psycho it’s quiet time, we don’t waste Mr. Drew’s time do we?] ‘then why did he hire two n-OOOOOOFFFF!!!!’
If you clicky I money….can you do this fucking once for me?


Before they pull it! A Mis Abuelos with the Belgian dude!

Concierto! Other Spanish stuff. Bueno!
I saw this finals performance live with Stinky (great Euph player) we’d just about had enough BD/SCV/Cavs/PR/GF/Bones by that night, burt we didnt miss out on a chance to hear this one just 1 mo gin….s#!t A Drum Corps Fans Dream, part Dos yo!,

Michael “Mike” Braga 86’d from 2017 Santa Clara Vanguard Alumni Corps ….

*Breaking* LATER ASSHOLE! Space Park Management to violent coward: Thanks but NO THANKS -or- Wife-Beater Takes Beat-Down
Part I.

Around about every five years; the most consistently prgressive, entertaining, competitive and downright bad-ass drum & bugle corps* in the kh2own universe puts together an Alumni Corps….for fun, for old times sake, cuz life starts to suck after age 21, cuz playingin a large group of talented men & women is better than (sex * drugs + rockNroll) ….. to get easily-explainable time off from work/family/friends/poker/kids/your dog/home [all the things that society INSISTS you take part in and enjoy……So we’re all cut out on what-the-world-expects-of-us and why not? If that’s all we did, [musicians especially] it would make for a rough world. (did you know Hitler was a band-geek? yeah-Basson —God I would knock him out just for THAT! AAAAANYHoooooo……)

WHO IS MIKE BRAGA?

I’ll tell the story as it unfolded for this writer in 2007. The timeline is quite jagged; so put on your “Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul/Star Wars/Pulp Fiction/Memento style plot hats cuz the timeline here zigs, zags and jumps…
That year I ran two assembly lines for Metagenics (fmr. makers of professional quality dietary supplements, protein powders & functional foods; my lines always packed that finished-goods, and pills from horse tablets to the barely visible. I digress. I’m running line 4– the phone rings. It’s Joe Rybus, a heavy in Kingsmen Organization and a head-hunter for the hornline. Someone fronted me off to the guy — he knew my name & cell….at least it was a welcome call.

“Am I interrupting” (he is; but…take a guess how many fucks I gave…)
“No….”
“This is Joe Rybus, did you know The Anaheim Kingmen are putting togther an Alumni Corps this year? This is the first time DCI will be held at the Rose Bowl to commerate our innaugural victory at Whitewater in 1971…anyway you wanna join?”
“I never marched Kingsmen”
“Yeah … well see we want to have as big a hornline as possible; so we waved that requirement; in fact; so far most of the members are alums from up north; like yourself!”
“Are you guys gonna play cool shit?”
“Yeah, Mambo, Folk Song Suite, So Very Hard To Go….Firebird...”
“That sounds cool…cant go wrong with Mambo, Williams, ToP or Stravinsky…. how many horns?”
“We have nearly 80; shooting for 120….” (now my crew knows im , not evem trying to work so they take over; a good crew…)
“So you wanna fill the rest with ringers right?”
“Yeah Chris; get it now?”
“….Practice? How do we not get the cops called?”
“One of the members is a principal at school in Anaslime [Joe didnt really say that, but u get the idea] He says we can use the band room and that no one will call for noise if we pack it in by sundown…and its just 30 miles north.”
“Joe I wanna do this, but $ is tight, I can’t tale time off work …..”
“We’re camping at Long Beach State for about 3 weeks before Semis [our last show] all you need is 1 weekend a month till summer, then every weekend, then get most of august.”
–NOTE: Joe’d made this call in 2006 so I had plenty of time to arrange this; plus my work OWED me a decent VAYCAY; I’d never taken even a sick day three years in ….
“$ is tight Joe….I can squeeze the time but I need rides, a uniform, theres no way I can pay fees. I want to help…really is th-
“[cutting me off] “look it’s free; if you need a ride ill get you one….
“I can drive dude; just one more thing; now that im older? 2nd Barry? Lower Lead? ….my chops are in pro-condition so …”
“Got it; Upper Lead Baritione, comped…the next camp is at….”

The rest is history. Sops like legendary sops like Ralphie, Jim Sobacki, Phil Norris and a few other (not Ray!) along with many Big Bore idols, Carl Allison (Freelancers), Doug “Pooh Bear” Kenyon (BD, Colts), Tony Pon (SCV), Charlie Groh(1st Marines, 2nd Battalion, 5th Regiment, Item Company, WWI/WW2/Korea)…..they really made it all worth it. Ther all could mop the floor with me; talent-wisae especially. *Fun Fact* – It would be Pooh’s last DC performance – he joined to surpise his daughter at DCI who was in the Colts – a rookie CG (coolest dad ever – RIP ol’ buddy!)
There were about 200 people in the Kingsmen that year; we rocked an honor guard with a full Color Presentation so of those 200, lets say 140 were holding an instrument. Here is a rough estimate of how they broke down:

  • Kingsmen Alumni = 22 percent
  • Freelancers Alumni = eight percent
  • VK Alumni = 10 percent
  • Concord Alumni = 25 percent
  • Santa Clara Alumni = 25 percent
  • Other or band-geeks living out their childhood fantasies 10 percent

Note there would be LOTS of crossover here: SCV/BD, VK/BD, Freelancers/BD, Kmen/BD …etc. Only Marty Jo Basset, Bill Varju and Tim Meehan having marched “the cycle” (VK, Freelancers, SCV & BD; with ho iarble mention that Tim SOLOED in ALL FOUR, Marty “The One Man Party” played upper lead sop in all four; and Bill Marched Contra, Barry (@VK in 95), Mello (BD, yr unknown) and Soprano – A DOUBLE CYCLE!!!!! Credit to Scott Steward as well for marching, though in just two that I know of; check out his 1990 semis solo when he’s like….a fucking 13 year old. (will add YT link if it still exists) Credit also to Jack M. for TEACHING VK/SCV/BD/Troopers and possibly Sac.
*sigh* better get to the meat here …. so we’re camping at LBSU and it’s like a biunch of adults with families/jobs/responsibilities are kids again (we were; well we felt like it; my room Anthony; whom partied 1000th as muvh as I did at that time – we got along famously and are still friends; having marched Renegades & Kingsmen Alumni together (links to follow). Each day we hit a practice field about 500 yrds from the dorms. Stretch. chat, plan, apply sunblock and Gold Bond, sectionals, lunch, ensemble, dinner, then either a show or more ensemble….then party, pass out, rinse & repeat. For us age-outs WE ARE ON CLOUD NINE; praying September never comes.
One week before Our final show (sniff…) at DCI I hear a rumbling that the cymbal section wants to quit en masse. Why? Apparently [to paraphrase] – WE CANT TAKE ONE MORE SECOND OF [MIKE’S] ABUSIVE BULLSHIT. CHOOSE. HIM. OR US. Our Fearless leader and DM Gary Kean investoigated, to find that Braga was running the cymbal line as though this were 1987 and THIS was the 1987 SCV Cymbal line. Lets start with some definitions.
A drum corps cymbal line – an extremely physical job from high school level up to division one (World Class) the cymbal line marches, attempts crazy difficult drill, accentuates the visual feel of the program. Musically all sorts of sounds can be made via scrapes, crashes, “shings” and tastefully marching in front of the battery so they have a crash or ride or (???) cymbal to use on the fly. Cyms are part expert dancers, military-precesion-marchers, elegant musicians and marching masters.
The SCV Cymbal Line – These guys are famous for being “so far over the top as to be obscene. Every time I saw them; they did everything together: they sit together on the drum bus. When the direcgtor (or any staff address them) they stand in a perfect rank, side-toe-contact. They rarely if ever make mistakes. Holes in this line are filled by an audition of 1000 competing for one spot. They eat togther – yes, in a rank. At night, they stack their bunks adjacent, in a rank. Every SCV member busts their ass; but NO ONE works as hard as the cyms. Finally; no one in their right mind would mess with them while on tour; they are tougher than any d-line for any college football team and were they soldiers? They’d return from combat HEAVILY decorated …. pardon the expression but you ever met a group of guys so tight they’s “eat each others’ sh!%?” —ok that’s the SCV Cymbal line for the past 30 years at least.
So Braga, even though, this ostensibly laid-back “Senior Corps” that only rehearses weekends (9-5 in stead of 9-sunup the next day, ‘EIGHT days a week’) and will not receive a score (Sr. Corps are usually exhibition at DCI shows) …Braga is not only acting like he is back in an SCV-hardcore-as-fuck-hand-me-that-bowl-of-shit Cymbal line….he is making threats, making some of his fellow Cym CRY. Doing the opposite of why we took off work and pissed off our kids & significant others – to make visually pleasing, aethetically beutiful, sonically sonorous, loud music – for us, for the fans, for everyone. The sxn reported; AND BRAGA (on the field of honor**) says [PARAPHRASED]

NO, FUCK YOU GARY IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE

 

WIP 1/30

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…again WIP this mess is about a quarter done. Sorry to put you blast Mike….no I’m not sorry….You suck….I’m ashamed to call my self any sort of “alumni” list that beats both our names. You are a disgrace to the Silver Star, The Green Shield and the memory of Gail & Myron. Start my NEVER HITTING ANOTHER WOMAN EVER. If you eant to hit someone….the comment section is below. -c

Part II

Braga decided (at some point) that as de facto Cym section leader of Kingmen Alumni; the best way to run the line was to act like a fascist white-power-prison-gang “grand-intimidator – thinking that excellence could be achieved via anger, cursing, threats, yelling and general douchery. If you’ve been incarverated or not; pictire that Napoleonic psychopath you pray never crosses your path. “I just want to do my time & get out with most of my teeth. Then you meet Braga. He wants to know “who you are, where youre from, what your deal is….are you a narc? He makes comments about your manhood to compensate for his lack of. I mean, what kind of man has two violent strikes for beating his wife? Usually the kind to scared to hit a dude.
Braga created an atmosphere of misery for the other Cymbal players in 2007, thinking this was the right thing to do …. One afternoon at Long Beach State; the Cyms had a meeting w/o their fear[full] leader; they decided marching in the Kmen Alumni no longer fell into the “fun” category. It would be fun if not for Braga; so they took the issue to Kean and said “Him or us.”
Simple, lose the douche. That’s where the story should end. With lightning-strike exceptions; an SCV member or alum obeys on0field orders from staff, section leaders, the Horn Sgt., all techs, consultants, caption heads and the director without question, so with my 1991 Kanstul 3v G Baritone at a pistol; I was shocked to hear Braga ARGUING with the fucking Drum Major!!! He was refusing to leave, saying he did nothing wrong. Kean is a smart, shrewd and peaceful man. He was not about to risk a figth with this hulking ,ass clearly looking for a violent outlet for his maniacy. The KAC rented dorms, a parking structire and a practice field; making the field (thank God) corps property. Member or no; the director/DM asks you to leave its not up for discyssion. NEVER on the field of honor. Before Kean could finish rationalizing “leave no you sciopath. Please leave and dont ever come back.” —several members hit 911 on their cells. The LBSU PD and LBPD showed up quickly. Braga was dragged off the field by them snarling and shooting red daggers out of his eyes, blaming the staff, the corps, the Cyms, Kean, the members, using words I woulnt place in a artice ABOUT the field of honor.
Not Familiar? Any field is a sacred place. Treat it that way if you ever want to march on Game (Saturday) Night. Since the 70s (60s?) Guards say a prayer to field before entering it. Batteries & Hornlines dress as nice as weather allows on the Field of Honor, they don’t swear on it, the NEVER sit on it, They use G-rated language on the field, they act professional; because they ARE. Only the teachers, leaders and technicians talk betweenn takes. Rehearsals are done with a purpose, memberws run back to their sets. Breaks only exist to keep memebers hydrated. We keep out ears open and our eyes up. We treat a painted field better than a board room in our chosen professions. To disobey chain of command, to shout vilent threats, to force law enforcement to drag you pff the field and worst of all; to stalk the corps after like a NeckBeard whose My Little Pony collection came to life…is deplorable.
—–next—–part III. Deep Background & Diane Feinstein….

Trump campaign dead on the runway….

Despite what you may have heard, now is a pretty good time to be Hillary Clinton. Yesterday, we heard hordes of retarded people in Cleveland chant “lock her up” and making jokes and vague promises to actually put her in jail. Likely very few of the chanters have ever had their freedom taken away, if they had, they would understand that jail and prison is NOT Funny and Not a joke, but this is Trump supporters, whom veteran broadcaster Phil Hendrie describes as “semi-retarted at least.” Even his retarded character [nee “producer”] Bud Dickman agrees that Trump supporters “some kind of retards.”
First he lets his painted-whore of a wife go on and write her own speech, which almost a direct-lift plaigiarization of Michelle Obama’s speech at the 2008 DNC.Had Trump hired even ONE media professional outside his semi-competent son & daughter (whom probably make somewhere in the range of $0.00/hr for their meager PR efforts, they would’ve helped prepare her speech and compare it against previous first-lady speeches and would’ve found the issue almost immediately. There are also simple programs that can be run by teachers & professors (software that has been refined over decades) that can check any chucnk of prose for plagiarism. Some of these programs access massive media archives, university papers, theses, dissertations, term papers, professional journals, transcripts of live tv & radio….for just a small fee his hackneyed team could’ve prevented that mess (and a lighting person couldve seen how
over-worked her face looked in that light, how many face lifts are too many? How old is she? This is his third wife…#amirite?
Anyway, later Chris Christie, a proven douchebag scheister governor from New Jersey gets up and says that “Hillary Clinton created ISIS”
IF YOU BELIEVE THAT ONE, I HAVE A BRIDGE FOR SALE IN NEW YORK AND IT AINT THE ONE IN BROOKLYN
To her credit, his younger daughter gave a nice speech.
Next “Doctor” Ben Carson gets up, starts talking about some vague conspiracy theory involving the educational system, it sounded like he made it up in his head on the spot then he compared Clinton, a heavily Jewish-sounding-named author she likes and mentions that in the intro to this mystery book, he “thanks Lucifer” — a thinly-veiled way of implying that Clinton, all Jews and all Democrats worship the Devil….then he starts talking about how it says “In God we Trust” on our money and “we” this and “love God” that which was a DIRECT LIFT OF REAGANS’S FAMOUS EVIL EMPIRE SPEECH.
AT THIS POINT I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO VOMIT ON MY DASHBOARD SO I BAILED OUT. TOO MUCH BULLSHIT FOR ONE DAY, ANYWAY, HER IS ANOTHER REASON WHY IT’S GOOD TO BE HILLARY. NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE ON THE TOP 10 LIST OF DONORS TO SUPER-PACS IN 2016. THEY ALL AGREE ON ONE THING — NOT HAVING A TRUMP PRESIDENCY — CHECK OUT HOW MUCH CASH IS AVAILABLE TO TAKE HIM DOWN SO FAR

OUCH!!! That's a lotta money folks....
OUCH!!! That’s a lotta money folks….
advert follows…plz support we could use your help!




Update…oops Laura Ingraham throw in’ up gang signs….see they can’t even do One day. See featured pic.

A rough (and heavily exaggerated) Yelp! review posted here instead for now ….

Called to make inquiry regarding poss. gold investment. ‘Frank’ at first put me on hold…no problem. He gets back to me a minute later and I proceed to give him 15, maybe 20 seconds of background explaining what kind of business I wanted to do and why, but before I could ask any questions he said he had “like three other calls” and “could I hold again?’ ok. the third time I started to explain that I wanted to add gold to my portfolio, then he became annoyed, again complaining that there were lines on hold, this time I said, “So are all these other callers more important than me, bacause I’m considering a fairly significant investment with you,” to which he snubbed off, saying that “I was taking to long to get to the point [total of 30 seconds, tops? I’m not ordering pizza…]” and that “The amount I quoted wasnt that much [$50K] and that he “did deals like that all the time.” I call bull$#!t, shenanigans and from his cavalier attitude on the phone I wouldn’t buy a Timex off that asshole, let alone gold bullion. All he had to do was not be a full bore douche & I’d be on my way to thew bank to take out a hefty cashier’s check…instead I’m back to square one on the entire investment idea that I had. He destroyed my confidence in the gold market; at least for now — nice work there …I guess it’s not a problem though cuz “he has other people buying millions of dollars of gold [from him] later today.” Well good luck with that; the $ that actually exists in the real world; not fantasy-land will be staying in my savings account. Customer service is extremely important from your morning latte to your mortgage so ‘frankly’ I was shocked that he’d treat a potential 5-figure customer so poorly. Maybe he had a bad morning but there is NO EXCUSE, even if I called …say…see if I could SELL $20 in silver. Let this be a lesson to shopkeepers in OC; we all know you are broke and your sales are in the toilet; so at least pretend like you give a shit.

Business in question is “Irvine Gold” I think. Fuck that guy I will never do business there and I urge my readers not to either; shady shady sheister written all over him; it bled thru the phone. I don’t want to actually sign up for yelp! so I cut&pasted the review here. I had to blow off some steam this guy really pissed me off and maybe cost me money. Time will tell. I exxagerated the amount I intended to invest by a great deal btw….

Vietnam wins again, CJX Jailbreak #ocjailbreak …. some notes ….

sandra and company, i added text parodying an ad for old fox cops tv show, saying you can watch them fuk up live every morning on fox..also "eat a dick"

As of this moment, 100s of dipshit COs, deputies, cops, feds, CHP and misc. law enforcement investigators are still looking for the three men found missing from the Orange County Jail, called “CJX” by locals – One of the escapees is alleged to’ve attacked a Weed dispensary, one victims body was found almost charbroiled, with his junk stuffed in his mouth and his body dumped carelessly slack in the IE, the younger, middle-aged and older men are facing federal charges from kidnapping to Murder 1 to “torture.” (I dont know how to define torture…do you?- hence quotations marks…..by all accounts, each man is looking at life, probably the chair …so… they busted the fuck outta the hoose-cow and are likely off-continent. I gotta confess, this site and writer has longtime held that the OCSD is incompetent, CJX is “cruel & unusual” & never do the accused get a fair trial from OCDA…....so, we are rooting for these men to make a full escape. (with the possible exception of the towel-wrapper) Best would be to a country that doesn’t have extradition with the US. WHY ON EARTH are we rooting for these guys? ok ….a little background. This news item brings up a few major topics:
1. Vietnamese People in Orange County
2. Vietnam
3. The dynamic nature of weed & “the law”
4. The 50s, 60s, 70s …and TODAY! (just like now-defunct FM radio!!)
5. The Vietnam War
6. People from Orange County
7. Strange-overly-conservative-time-machine political views and racial divides.
8. CJX
9. Lighting people on fire
10. A Vietnamese Necktie (I’m coining that one, you get your wang and nuts chopped, shoved in mouth, set on fire and buried then buried off the 91 fwy)
11. Racism in Orange County
12. How Orange County is fundamentally polarized from Los Angeles, though they border each other
13. Gaming it out..
.Escape from CJX, Revenge of The Men in The Yellow Pajamas.
We’ll address all this crazy shit as it unfolds and as I get this absurd editorial organized, it’s gonna be a long one…..tbc afternoon, Tuesday…
Here at HQ we are not as concerned as all other media and law enforcement outlets, looking into the alleged crime, we’re talking EXTREMELY PERSONAL AND PRE-MEDITATED, NOT random violence. Extremely doubt any SoCal residents are in danger and I DOUBT the three are still Stateside, closest they are to here is Mexico, and the Sheriff is caught with her pants down for running a shitty facility EVERYONE HATES CUZ IT VIOLATES BASIC HUMAMN RIGHTS! Reap what you sow …retards at OCSD and 98 percent of the COs at CJX, you suck, you bring nothing to the table and everyone knows it. Sandra, you can be like Mike Carona and resign in disgrace hehehehehehhehlolzorz. -ed
Come back for more soon! – tap
****Most recent AP dispatch courtesy, LA Times, OC Register not even following major story haha they suck too! gotta love it when it’s OC epic fail everywhere but here and in the minds of three other former residents of North America’s ONLY Medieval Dungeon!…the latest.

****evening****I left some hard truths as comments (questionable whether that level/qty of truth violates their “comment policy”) on the Mother Jones site which I understand to be a legit journalism publication, the writer is from OC and mentions the story as an after -thought…but the comments show this is no puff-piece. This was planned, organized, daring, cunning, timed perfectly, executed with serious cojones…the local media and authorities are already shying away from the story.
They’ve lost & they know it. I saw a lieutenant, he drifts off into “staff-meeting-double-speech” — he’s all flustered, talking in circles, he knows the Vietnamese community ain’t gonna talk – he’s an officer – as bad as OCSD is…the officers aren’t stupid, categorically, they know what’s up….

….The main alleged escapee? The noose-tyer? He’s juiced-in! He’s high power…connected! you guys groovin’ on what im jivin’ here? Go watch a Scorcese movie and get back to me…Jesus!allright, I’m gonna go have a smoke, what, you don’t smoke?? what are you…one of those fitness freaks? ..just kidding go fuck yourself.” Alec Baldwin, from “The Departed” – tap

***1800 hours, Monday*** the only other media site besides…yes this one…to touch the story was CNN, three hours ago… headline “SoCal Residents on edge” …ok … journalistic-ally we can go hunt for one dummy to say that on record, but it isn’t true. No one who lives here with an IQ above 60 or an education above 3rd grade is “scared.” Let’s give CNN the benefit of the doubt…”Doung” jumps in my window right now, armed. I’d give him a meal and a beer and fucking congratulate him….but…let’s face it…I’m glad I at least jumped on this story while it was lukewarm…cuz im gettin the feelin, this is over. All three men got away clean. Unless the towel-wrapper joins that weired “Arab State”-thing, whatver the fuck that is …. the two slants? They’re looooooooooong gone…even if they went south they are 1000 miles south of me….and I’m nearly 50 miles from 550 North Flower aka County Jail – Mens Central aka CJX – where I can tell you this, the entire facility will remain on 24-hour lockdown indefinately, for those of you who’ve never jaywalked, that means NO SHOWERS, NO HOT FOOD, NO LEAVING ANY CELL FOR ANY REASON…AND THE INSIDE-LIGHTS ARE LIKELY ON AS BRIGHT AS POSSIBLE (you try to sleep w/o darkness for weeks, months…years…at a time (???) good Lord can we start treating those men with some humanity? Many at CJX have not been convicted…of even a single crime…even jaywalking. Major Case trials drag thru the 1st ROUND of trial for years…and the convicted don’t “get” (trust me) to go to prison until they are convicted of a felony by a jury or adjudicator. ok … be back soon dear reader -ed.

****early am 1/27**** – Doung still long gone…no more Duong guys…. The bold list of topics listed at top of this piece are a WIP – I’d like to address some important historical facts about life behind the Orange Curtain you may not be aware of, even if you live here…as always, information, bad jokes and putting the COPS on BLAST (which is the sworn duty of any journalist worth his or her salt) …. we are having fun sticking the truth right up in their dumb faces, that is for sure. I made the absurd graphic semi-meme to replace the other featured image, which I technically stole from The Times, so I wanted to admit that I did that – used it as a place-holder and made something original myself as priority. You can also visit the Los Angeles Times for more on this story – objective and cutting editorial. The Times always has and always will be a pillar of altruistic, ethical journalism and I salute all reporters, editors, photogs, techs and publishers. Your plug is gratis, below is a sponsored link; if you enjoy my brand of crazy, I encourage you to support our little site by visiting their site; I will never ask you buy anything from me, ever. We advertise; that’s how it works. You don’t pay, they do. Plz support them & in so doing …support News, comment, OCD and the Jewish-controlled media, we would like more $ from Google so…ok end of rant – from the Publisher’s desk.


SoCal October News Quickie-Wrap

This month: it’s Halloween time and that means scary s—.
A shocking true crime tale of yore is headed this way. seductive, graphic, horrifying, shocking and a matter of FACT the Sea Pointe Murder House will arise again with FRESH SCANDAL you KNOW you LOVE.
On that note, in entertainment news, this writer recently binge-watched “American Horror Story” seasons 1-4. The replacement of Hollywood Luimnary Jessica Lange with modern singing sensation Lada Gaga deserves its own treatment and will get one.
October also means baseball, which we normally don’t care about, but the Cubs keep winning, leaving the classless Pirates in the dust and preparing a curtain call for St. Louis as I write. Win or Lose, #dacubbies, their history, their players, their fans and their heroes will get a special inside treatment ….
Weather — it’ hot as f— can you believe this sh–? A rational report on climate change is warranted. An editorial WIP–conspiracy-theory free and based on facts ONLY; part of the SoCal Pick’s Ethical Promise. see compliance and professional standards in column two for more about how we publish, why we publish, what we do and don’t do etc…

Deus Ex Machina | SDG&E Circuit #0990 preliminary report and analysis ….

A pic of the accident

At apprx. 1:00pm Friday, A man, for reasons unknown, crashed his Yaris headlong into a switch that. *ahem* … switches only do one thing; turn ON and OFF. This particular switch does so with respect to real-time parameters, such as the voltage of sub-switches and transistors, the voltage of its parent switch and other factors.
Ideally it turns ON if “child” switches run low on power. OFF if child-switche aggregate excess power. You can think of power delivery as a cascading system, where the MAIN (source) Power Plants(s) create energy (usually via the rotation of turbines). This region formerly had a nuclear power plant nearby – the San Onofre Nuclear Generating System (SONGS). You know them as the “boobs” Leslie Nielsen refers to in “The Naked Gun” when tells his partner that he misses his ex and that “Everywhere I look, I see something that reminds me of her”

A pic of songs
SONGS
In 2015, SONGS is offline. (the radioactive rods, which must stay cooled and entombed within the 6-foot-thick steel-reinforced concrete “boobs” until the end of time – research SONGS and half-life for more info). AN ASIDE about SONGs and The Marines Corps: By shutting down SONGs, 100s of dedicated employees, many of them combat veterans of the Iraq War II “Bush’s Revenge” &c. Many of THEM were surrounded by the Fedayim in the surged-city of Ramadi and fought their way out. Heroes all; 2-4 and 2-5 is heavily decorated for bravery and sacrifice, The Return of The Feydayim being just one example – the Battlion and subsequent regiments were formed as part of the 1st Marine Division to support The Pacific Campaign (ca. 1940). Security-gigs were handed out to combat veterans of Iraq; SONGs-SEC was a cushy job they deserved. Cushy as it was, the security of SONGS can only be carried about soldiers with combat experience. The worst thing that ever happened on their watch was a helicopter crash in the patrol area. The pilot was an amateur and the crash a mistake. There was no intent to harm SONGS when this incident occurred. Note that SONGS was never harmed in any way shape or form with these men guarding it.
San Diego Gas & Electric laid them off as large companies do to ANYONE, including this writer. They closed, sealed and entombed one “boob” then another, all the while integrating a new energy supplier, The Hoover Dam, which is at the state line of CA & AZ. SONGS is IN San Diego County, close to Camp Pendleton. Where the 1st Marines train. Watch “The Pacific” on HBO GO if you haven’t. How importing energy from 500 miles away is better business than a nearby, stable and secure station within the community it serves is a question beyond my wisdom.
The system goes offline in planned and “unplanned” ways many times. Usually when too many ACs are running –SDG&E fails to implement ERP/MRP adequately. That much is evident.
THIS outage is unprecedented. After the crash
A pic of the accident
“Gee Scoob’ what do we do now?”
circuit #0990 broke. Leaving about 500 people, including this writer, without power.
Conjecture based on available info– SDG&E initially reported that the system “failed due to a combination of factors” and the estimated restore time was 4:30pm. Later it was said to be “caused by an automobile accident” and the restore time kicked back another 30 minutes.
When the Customer-specific Action Items were not delivered on time, SDG&E kicked back the restore time to 5:00am — the following day. The assumption is that SDG&E has an SOP whereby IF the estimated restore time is unknown THEN add 12 hours to it and update the site.

    I conclude from that assumption a few likely scenarios

  • SDG&E didnt’t know WHAT the problem WAS or HOW to fix it
  • The on-site techs took a boondoggle and double-fucked it due to incompetence
  • the design of C#0990 is shit
  • the system itself has poor Exception Handling
  • fault lies with management by deploying in adequately train field techs
  • The Project Manager who designed C#0990 is predominantly at fault

I’ll get into the design and practice precepts that should be used in large systems. I’ll also provide tangible proof that the circuit design is not only faulty, but ugly and vulnerable. I can’t… for the life of me …picture an engineer leaving an Enterprise System with so many customers depending on it in it’s CURRENT STATE– Which merely to was to replace the switch. So far they have not even at least added guard rails to protect it from THE EXACT SAME ACCIDENT RECURRING. …. it *sigh* the techs who stood around all damn night and just stared into the whole could’ve grabbed a shovel and gotten started on a few pylons.
0990 was down for about 25 hours. Many reported lower times, this reporter’s studio was offline for just over one FULL DAY. The restore time, I discovered via a third party (I had no internet access and was conserving a small amount of juice on my smartphone) updated to 930am. To my assumptions, SOMEONE, likely an outside consultant, possibly from a competent Engineering Firm like Deloitte — was brought in. Power returned to the system at roughly 900am. It was done so in a way that minimized the risk of further damage. The presumably complete circuit was brought back on slowly and only for about 10 seconds. Then the system was brought back online in toto. Power was restored at 930am TO THE SECOND and has now been stable for 90 minutes. Bravo to the LEGIT engineer that got 0990 back up.
As for SDG&E – FUCK YOU. Self-Similarity Studios, The SoCal Picayune and affiliated media organizations missed out on an important opportunity I’d intended to implement on 9/25/15 and spent the previous 10 hours preparing to deploy when SDGE’s circuit failed, taking my ability to complete the task away. It was time-sensitive, so attempting to deploy an Organically-Optimized Marketing strategy is dead in the water, so fuck you very much.
All my cold-stored food, along with everyone else’s and local vendor Trader Joes. The less-fortunate got to raid a dumpster overflowing with TJ’s goodies, so there was at least one blessing in that. ALL businesses dependent on 0990 hemorrhaged $. Only Stater Brothers attempted to serve the public, but it was a tense situation. I saw three different people walk out with 12-packs of brew-dizz-ogs. Looting is an incomprehensible concept to me, especially with the OCSD in constant search of crime in a nearly crime-free locale. Overnite was tense as well. Some homeowners playing cowboy shit; flashin their POS 38 specials. Most residents evacuated. This writer stayed behind to watch the street, where SOME residents crouched low behind their windows in the dark.
SCARED WHITE PEOPLE IN THE DARK WITH FIREARMS AND OPPORTUNISTIC THIEVES ROAMING IS A FRIGHTENING COMBINATION. I kept picturing a father accidentally putting a slug the back his own kid’s head in a fit of paranoia, low light conditions, heat and exhaustion. I didn’t here any shots fired. For now we pray.
Time will tell if 0990 was at least PATCHED appropriately.
Preliminary report filed by the publisher FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. WIP. Updates to this post coming ASAP.
(secondary edits 9/26, 9/27 and 10/16….C#0990 has been up since it’s completion at 930am as reported above). The aforementioned replacedment switch i still stacked in the middle of A BUSY intersection with NO guard railings or pylons. A nearby fire plug is still covered by a GLAD-Hefty-Black-Sack-style bag and is presumably offline. [updated photo of accident site forthcoming, 10/2015].

On Changing Majors at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo Part II….

Subtitle> Cal Poly SLO News Archive Part IX: Risk, success, failure, the shame of defeat and the honey-dewed nectar of Victory:

Here is the form you will fill out in the Admin Building if you Dean doesn’t have you declared 5150, If he or she does, after you 72 hour hold, should you decide to STILL change majors; well…bring a black or blue pen get ready to throw out about 100 units…I did. It sucked, It was absurdly hard, but I did it—it IS possible yet I don’t wish it on my worst enemy.

CP delta major spoof

Part II of this? Or is it 3? If Nothing else this is Cal Poly SLO News Archive/Historical/Spoof material. Enjoy.

Sponsored Link follows:


thx for your continued patronage…and for those about to smoke, “We SALUTE YOU!”
-t []

Fallout from the Cox Service Van Explosion Part One ….

front shot on fmr. crispins in am. clean and well lit.

In the confusion that ensued as WWIII went up and off all around me, A cop car barrelled through my rare, collectible, fast-as-f— Townie Electra. I love that bike, when that cop nailed it, sending it endover-end, things got pretty “heated” to say the least. In all their were miscommunications on both sides so although I went ahead and filed Case # 15-073858 against the OCSD and the careless officer…I don’t blame him.

I WANT (DESPERATELY) TO BELIEVE HE DID NOT MEAN TO DO IT.

I’ve chosen to give him the benefit of the doubt…it looks like some Turtle Wax and a little elbow grease will get the scratches out….it’s just a bummer cuz as of this time 24 hours ago, the Townie had ZERO SCRATCHES.

I also respect that man-to-man, he apologized and accepted responsibility…that’s all we really need to do when the s— goes down; keep your word, admit when you’re wrong and take some f—ing responsibility for your actions.

That…and a little integrity, perseverance, tradition and honor will see us through if and when WWIII really DOES break out. (Or some alternate Armageddon B-movie script event – Meteors, Nuclear Winter, California Sinking, Flesh-eating Zombies, Ebola Zaire, 1984, Brave New World, Bladerunner, Total Recall, AI…you get the idea).

Stay tuned for Fallout Part II…with a comment about the above topics in the video commentary.

Thanks for the crazy bump in traffic over the past few weeks. I can’t do it w/o you, dear reader. Much Love, Tap. []