Subtitle> Cal Poly SLO News Archive Part IX: Risk, success, failure, the shame of defeat and the honey-dewed nectar of Victory:
Here is the form you will fill out in the Admin Building if you Dean doesn’t have you declared 5150, If he or she does, after you 72 hour hold, should you decide to STILL change majors; well…bring a black or blue pen get ready to throw out about 100 units…I did. It sucked, It was absurdly hard, but I did it—it IS possible yet I don’t wish it on my worst enemy.
I shortened it, added a title scroll, sepia tone effect, credits, remastered the audio mainly to remove an egregious frack…and appended a credit page with a movie quote from Tombstone …”don’t you know any Camptown Races?”
Doc Holliday: “Its a Nocturne, … You know…” heheh. Dedicated to music lovers, technophiles and movie aficionados.
More music. math and other travesties coming soon. -t
Can we put it all together? Human beings are in a constant search from whence we came. Was it part of a natural system? Is there an infinite consciousness…i.e. God? Is God required for creation to occur? What is the nature of creation? Is it an infinite cycle of expansion and contraction – that is, NEVER CREATED…just IS? What about “as above, so below”? Are we Gods ourselves who control universes, knowingly or not …at the level of sub-atomic particles (???) …is the sum of our universe a sub-atomic particle in an incomprehensibly LARGER universe? Do these size scales iterate larger and smaller forever in BOTH directions?
These questions can be daunting; we still don’t know much about “The Beginning,” if there even was one…cultures fight and (of course) slaughter each other over who has the “right” answer.
So what to do? The Laws of Nature, particularly physics and extra-particularly Quantum Mechanics, break down at points of infinite density or at speeds approaching the speed of light. Laws of Nature do not actually break down; it’s just that we haven’t yet a scientific model that reconciles Newtonian Mechanics, General Relativity and The Quantum Theory.
Modern Physicists are in a search for what they call The GUT. Not that ever-widening flab you’re now looking down at fatso. This is the Grand Unified Theory (of EVERYTHING). This is, for those of you who did not study The Calculus, E=mc^2 on steroids spiked with phenycyclidine. It’s hypothetical, presumed to be elegant and simple, like a^2 +b^2 = c^2, or C=pie(D)….or “The Pie is a Lie.” and we MAY discover/prove it in our lifetime. Why not?
Currently we have four forces of nature: Gravity, Electromagnetism, The Strong Nuclear (holds protons and neutrons together) and the Weak Nuclear (holds a proton and an electron together…this “weak” force, when broken, is the first step in the chain reaction that creates an H-bomb…imagine the power of the Strong one…this involves nuclear fusion; beyond the scope of this article and my knowledge…it is also beyond the scope of human knowledge as well. We know it exists at the center of stars….as far as US creating a fusion reaction…..”mmmmuhIdonnnnknow???” Nerrrrrrr…….).
We also have 12 elementary particles, I don’t feel like looking them up right now, so I’ll embed an appropriate MelodySheep video:
To me, 12 and four are reducible…well, mathematically they are:12 factors into six, four, three, two and one. Four factors into two and one. To me it makes more sense if the total elementary particles and forces were prime, That is….I’d create a universe with ONE force and at MOST three elementary particles. Who knows? Could my ideal “Prime Universe” turn out to be real when the GUT is definitively defined and proven by the scientific method? Methinks yes.
What about God and religion and spirituality and all that (usually) good stuff? Well, I am not the first to consider this, but if you look at the First Five Books of Moishe (Gentiles call it The Old Testament)….Genesis (not the band) resolves quite nicely with what is known about the physical universe. I’ll give you an example:
“God created the Earth in six days….then he kicked back for a day and had a beer.” Impossible, right? WRONG.
TIME is RELATIVE TO THE OBSERVER….this means that God, the observer in this case, created the world in six “God” days…which could be billions or trillions of human years, you don’t know. Why? You’re not GOD. You can remind your kids or spouse of that when you get home today…you know…‘case they dun fergot. Genesis in-particular, resolves quite nicely with what’s known about the Big Bang…I’ll get into that more in another post. For now, consider the graphic I made. (featured at top)
The universe starts with a point (created: one dimension)
The point moves along the face of the water (created: two dimensions + time)
YHWH creates land and water on the land (created: Three dimensions)
YHWH creates plants and flowers that bear seed and fruit – (created: LIFE)
All of it…every word of it, dovetails nicely with our current physical model of the universe and how it (in it’s current iteration) BEGAN. Yeah….really….it does!
This is why when asked “What do you believe?” My reply is,
“I don’t believe in anything; there are only things I know …and things I do not.”
This does not make me a nihilist, I assure you. I am a spiritual man …. I don’t BELIEVE in “God,” –call he/she/it whatever you want. I know for a FACT in my HEART that there is a power greater than myself that created me, you, this keyboard, cat pictures, Coen Bros. movies, sunsets, Beethoven, Jim Prime, Dean Westman, Phil Hendrie, Greg “Opie” Hughes, FutureCorps, The 1995 Madison Scouts, Clifford Brown, Curtis Fuller, Lee Morgan, John Coltrane, Maynard Ferguson, Gene Krupa, odd-meter, company-fronts, love at first sight, soul-mates, adaptation, deoxyribose-nucleic acid, eicosopenteanoic acid, docosohexeanoic acid, lysergic acid, Algebra, Geometry, Rate of Change, Potential Difference, Natural Numbers all the way up to Transcendental Numbers, WalMart, The Orange County Sheriff’s Department…even your a$$h0le boss! “God” is real; to me that is a logically concluded fact based on observed reality seen through my personal perspective. In my world, this requires neither faith nor belief. It just IS.
God Is. 
….Later we can get into Rene’ Descartes mathematical proof that God (YHWH, the ineffable name of God….pronounced “Yah-weigh”) exists. Really this prose is just filler for the graphic I spent WAY more time on. I hope you find it informative and ok-looking. Made using Apache Open Office Draw.
Around the turn of the millennium a new technology for animation was born: Flash. With it, an animator needn’t “a sweatshop in Korea with 50 animators working 24/7 at gunpoint ….and chickens running around”—said Mike Reiss, 26-year veteran producer of “The Simpsons”—Reiss is a four-time Emmy-winning producer, He wrote for Johnny Carson and Conan O’Brien in addition to a creator credit for “The Critic,” and scores of children’s novels – notably How Murray Saved Christmas, which NBC/Universal turned into a movie that aired Christmas Day last year to rousing reviews and accolades.
Flash can be programmed to do a great deal of the animation itself; a golden age of mature-themed animation made it’s way to the Web via Newgrounds and later Icebox. Icebox went defunct for a spell; they are back up though! With the advent of YouTube, animation host Newgrounds faded into the background as well. On the NEW Icebox, there exists ZERO NEW content, but all the CLASSIC animated series are is posted to an AWFUL WordPress blog (worse than mine) and the vids are hosted on YT-natch. It’s rough-around the edges but a whole lot better than nothing. Brilliant, hysterical, edgy and outrageously talented creations are resurrected…thanks to increasingly inexpensive Web-hosting.
This is a common model for modern publishing (I use it myself)…
WP engine: cheap…embedding video through YouTube – free.
Now all the fantastic episodes of SEVERAL brilliant “webtoons” are avail. It’s weird …. the episodes have so few views…Some episodes of “Superhero Roommate” featuring Brian Posehn…one of my all-time favorite comedians…has barely 200 views since uploading *ahem* *scratch that…* “Leftovers part 1,” up for two years, has just over 100 views- I’d like to help him change that:
The surge of creative possibilities attracted a flood of heavy-hitter producers, writers, musicians and other artists. They were captivated by the ease of animating and the uncensored freedom offered by the InterWebz. In an eerily self-prophesying episode, Larry David piled on for a new series called “The Paula Principle” David creates a senator who’s just been nominated for president, he laments, self-deprecates and yells at his manager in classic LD-style, noting that he’s a complete hack, unqualified, in over his head…too stupid to do the job. Sadly…it was the only episode ever made. If I ever meet him, I will ask what would’ve happened to the “Complete Idiot” Senator, written an voiced by David himself and VERY MUCH a prequel to the style he would use on “Curb.” :
Only 290 views! How many times do you think “The Soup Nazi” episode of Seinfeld has been watched? I’ve seen it…3x? Would it be safe to say over a billionconsidering the syndication and DVD sets…and the fans who watch favorite episodes over and over again?
Another favorite of mine that has been brought back to life is “Mr. Wong” by Pam Brady. Mr. Wong is a SEVERE asian stereotype, his boss abuses him w/o mercy…and he gets involved with opiates, binge-drinking, hallucinations and “accidently” turns gay in this masterful series. The production value is top-notch. The main-theme played on the harpsichord at whiplash speeds in later episodes is a nod to how many heavy-hitting artists/musicians Flash technology attracted, here is episode 1, “Urine Trouble,” :
As you can see, this series was so good it was picked up by Mondo in 2009 and has nearly a quarter-million views since then. I assure you, episode 1 previously had well-over a million views through Newgrounds and the old version of Icebox.
Another series that enjoyed commercial success was “Queer Duck,” written by Mike Reiss, voiced by top-of-the-food-chain V/O KING Billy West (he was/is Ren & Stimpy amoung countless others on nearly every successful animated series/movie EVER – The Simpsons, Futurama…you name it). Rupaul joined up to write a SWINGIN ‘intro and outro that he sang masterfully. The gay jokes are hysterical, Reiss branched off from The Simpsons as he was growing sick of the media’s portrayal of homosexuals, though he is not HIMSELF gay…at all..he’s Jewish, like me…and we have a tendency to come to the aid of oppressed groups; particularly those known to have an artistic gift (women, blacks and gays!) by promoting them…and taking our cut (Naturally…) Here’s episode two; I first watched when Reiss gave a seminar at Cal Poly, I interviewed him for the Daily and I asked him to show me the most offensive episode he had in the can so far. This was what he showed me….btw did I mention all the content is #NSFW? …I didn’t? Ok….well… it’s not…if you haven’t been fired yet let’s move on…sorry about that.
Yes..this series was so good it was picked up by Showtime.
He also created “Hard-Drinkin’ Lincoln,” which is self-explanatory. It’s about Honest Abe as an honestly s__t-faced, hardcore alcoholic, hijinks ensue and he usually gets shot at the end of every episode, making J.W. Booth a hero. It’s February, so here ya’ go….Reiss’ “Black History Month” tribute:
Speaking of purposely-offensive cringe-humor, great music and “period pieces,” “Meet The Millers” is one of my all-time favs…written by David Zuckerman. Dan Castelleneta (Homer S.) does V/O and Frank Sinatra Jr. wrote/sang the theme. It takes place in a xenophobic, commie-fearing, HEAVILY racist/anti-semitic suburb of Washington D.C. in the 1950s. The father, an FBI agent, uses intimidation, fear-tactics, physical abuse and societal ills to his HILARIOUS advantage, which …naturally, he teaches to his children (when he’s not beating them of course)…Due to the Jennifer Aniston flick of same name, a normal web-query BURIES this great series deep down the list, even if you qualify the search for videos-only. I’ll plumb the depths of Youtube to find you an especially offensive/hysterical episode for ya, dear reader:
The dead-serious-severity in the voice of the older brother as he warns his black friend not to touch his sister and the BLAST against the French is daring and thought-provoking social satire…especially the ironic use of a laugh track when the jokes are at their most brutal not even 500 views yet.!…and now you know why the French kiss you twice!
So Icebox is BACK UP…someone setup a WP blog and assigned each series to a category. There are many more excellent series-es…es(????)….. I personally recommend “Starship Regulars,” I’m fairly certain it’s safe for work, it was initially scripted for network TV…”s__t” and “f__k” are substituted with futuristic terms, so it works. This one probably has the highest production value of them all. It’s a bummer there are so few episodes. I’m not a Trekkie by any stretch ..nor do I get too excited about Star Wars…sorry to burst your bubble if you thought I did. Remember: I’m a geek…. not a nerd; HUGE DIFFERENCE. I would’ve been all about this show had a major network bitten down on this…but, no dice: (Showtime did-yet it had a pitifully short run their Web site)
NOT EVEN A THOUSAND VIEWS!!! This is some of the greatest multimedia artwork ever created…and no one knows about it!
Even the new Icebox website is presented in carelessly written CSS…the videos out-span column-one, the new site is messy-carelessly slapped together-glad it’s there but sad to see it in such shabby condition. I present these on my site to promote the genius of their work…and to tidy up the FORMAT in which it is presented– Heroes of mine like Larry David and Mike Reiss (I STILL can’t believe I got to meet…even kick it w/ that guy in college…) THEY DESERVE BETTER. So I’m giving it to them. Check out some funny s— you’ve never seen or heard of before! None of my artist/writer/musician readers will be disappointed. This is Tapper-approved multimedia content we’re talkin’ about here!
My interview with Reiss was placed in the can at the Mistake Daily, so I have no access to it, but I’m in the process of extracting data off another old drive…I’m hoping it’s in there. I placed an order through an IT friend/associate, it took him a while to find the li’l gadget, there’s an issue with reading data off old IDE hard drives (obviously) plus I spent a little extra on a component that will interpret the data and send it out via USB 2.0, PLUS it fits in a case to protect the drive from electromagnetism. I don’t want to extract it from my old win95 box (ca. 1998) till it comes in….for all I know my cell phone …or a WiFi signal could fry it –frequency-modulation and EM are NOT on my list of expertise. All told it should work just like a thumb-drive –though it needs it’s own dedicated power supply, again, to protect it from getting sharked or de-magnetized. I’m srsly excited to get into my personal treasure-trove of writing, music and C++ code from my Cal Poly Dorm Days! This is from a tech-era when UNIX, C++/STL, Ethernet, Quake II, FTP, ICQ, IRC, Sun Microsystems, SPARC Solaris, Silicon Graphics (SGI) and Worms: Armageddon ruled the day! Facebook, Twitter, Google, Napster, .NET, even MYSPACE(!!!) weren’t even fully-formed IDEAS yet. It’s only 16 years ago, but that’s milleniain cyberspace-time. No one even says “cyberspace” anymore…see how dated it all is? In 1998, it would be six years until I finally caved-in and became the last man in America and got a cell-phone! One thing hasn’t changed…Microsoft still sucks.
Big-time fun to come…much of it (the interesting or historically-significant “it’s“) I will publish here.
So…..Is there any truth to the rumor that Springfield, ??…WAS IN FACT based on San Luis Obispo? I put that question to Reiss. Stay tuned…dear reader, stay tuned. 
Ok, so you’ve got a theme going, right? At the bottom it says something like this: Copyright 2015; SomeStupidTheme.com * WordPress.com …etc…it’s YOUR Web site, why should anyone else get to brand it? It makes you seem amateurish to webdevs and potential clients, or a client that HAS one will say:
“This site sucks, it actually SAYS WordPress at the bottom.”
…if you have a legit site like this one, there is absolutely no reason to have this self-congratulating backlinking crud on the site that YOU PAY FOR, CREATE ALL THE CONTENT AND DO ALL THE DESIGN…
***Delete it safely with this example***
Goto Appearance >> Editor
Open footer.php (it is almost assuredly called this)
Make a backup of it locally, if you f-up the PHP, your site’ll crash
If it does, just ftp in the backdoor and swap out footer.php w/ the orig. copy
Delete the PHP that’s spitting out the Stupid.com*WP.com/.org junk
Visit Site (Test it!)
Enjoy YOUR site: YOU.com, not YOU.com “Powered by WordPress”- that’s lame
Some themes automatically anonymize the WP stinger. My previous theme was called “Big City” at the bottom of any pg. it said Copyright 2014, Tapper7.com, then a logo of a cube (like the Netbeans logo). It was a 2013-theme and had past my patience with how poorly formatted all my images and embedded content had deprecated to, so I flushed it and started it back up…. – New Year – NEW/Stripped-down THEME, NEW CSS- the stylesheet is a WIP.
If you simply follow the logic of the script, find the part of the script that is yanking out the junk you don’t want, be careful not to accidently delete the things you DO WANT and delete it! For instance, my footer.php file spits out an advert, a list of other pages I have and a calender. IT USED TO have a footer to the footer, that said: By AnnoyingSelfAggrandizingBacklinkingBS.com * WordPress.org/com(somethinglikethat).
….NOT ANYMORE!! Lulz. For this particular theme, I began by ignoring the warning to NOT MODIFY ANY PHP.
First off PHP is not even a programming language, it is a script that is easy to read and object-oriented so the code-writer is trying to scare you into thinking he is somuch smarter than you, that if you touch his precious PHP, your site will explode. This is actually true if you make a mistake at this, again…backup whatever files you intend to change on your hard drive. Learn how to FTP into your site and FIX IT YOURSELF if it crashes. The only other option is to pay someone to do it for you, but Tapper7.com is always of the opinion that you should never pay for something you can do/make yourself or learn how easily. Information is free.
I started by trying to “Comment Out” the offending PHP, which looked appx like this:
***Note all “<>” are replaced with “” so the site does not get confused about what’s real code and what isn’t… the code markup tag does not seem to be entirely functional at present. *sigh* MORE PROBLEMS, regardless:
/* Comment OUT:
[footer class="site-info" itemtype="http://......./WPFooter" itemscope="itemscope" role="contentinfo"]
[div class="inside-site-info grid-container grid-parent"]
[?php do_action( 'generate_credits' ); ?]
[?php do_action( 'generate_after_footer_content' ); ?]
End Comment Out-->*/
I’d forgotten that commenting out HTML (when combined with PHP) merely adds a visible “//” or “/**/” to the offending crud I’m trying to eliminate. Yeechhhhhhh!!
Look at the above code. All I had to do was DELETE what you see above. Update the file (which will quickly recompile your site) and “Visit” it for QA …and Kakooooooosh….bye bye offending crud that does not belong on YourWebSite.com. This is my site and I decide what goes on it, not ANYONE ELSE.PERIOD.
My advice is that you take the same pride in your work and anonymize all that footer-junk. You do all the work. YOU take all the credit. Feel free to contact me if something annoying is stuck on your site and you cannot figure out how to safely dispose of it. Btw, if you have NOT crashed your site by making a PHP syntax mistake, I recommend that you learn how to get it back online if you or some jerk who works for you DOES. If you have a business – knowing how to do this “your own damn self” and not worrying or waiting on some IT loser to call you back or show up or fix it for you …is INVALUABLE. I’ll provide an FTP tutorial at a later date and screenshots if there is interest in this particular how-to.
Now forget that my site is WP, ok…? Wink-wink, dear reader! Tapper7.com…powered by Tapper…and OCD. NOTHING ELSE. My partner in interwebz content shenanigans, Kevin Gamin also reports the useful consistency and w3c compliance of WordPress. SEO is mostly scam bulls—…anyone claiming to “know how the GS algorithm works” and promising traffic/hits/growth and improved Google Search scores is LYING. We have a reverse-engineered framework for HOW/WHAT & WHY when it comes to propping up your “Google Score” but current employees legally cannot disclose src for BigData – duh! Fmr. emplyees sign the standarn non-disclosure agreement; which is in itself OBS because the GS algorithmm is updated constantly. WordPress really does provide LEGIT “SEO” (*sigh* I despise the acronym and the consters it attracts) – simply by creating original content, organized on a Google and w3-compliant design. WordPress sites do in fact grow naturally. Luck would have it GS (as it stand today) “likes it”
Ex: you are a gardener – buy www.imagardener.— and start blogging about your garden. Keep it up and soon your site will start appearing on pg 1 of a GS return for strings like “rose gardens” , “clippings” , “fertilizer” …u get the idea. If you’re like me and want to career++; legitimacy++; then WP is the way to go, writing about what you love is the simple key to a big-time GSR presence. Then comes readers, fans, contacts, sponsorships, support, contract jobs and after six months of professional care and diligent/RICH content – Google MIGHT legitimize your site by approving an Adsense Partnership (That is; if they are still accepting new affiliates–when I applied, I was told that they were not approving ANYONE and that a massive audit of me, my background, my credentials, my media ethics and media-law scruples would be thoroughly audited by a mysterious algorithm AND at least one human auditor. All Google Forums on Adsense overload with “Why won’t they approve me?” I was told the audit would take three weeks. Three DAYS later, they congratulated me and accepted me into their evil cabal.
I credit strict media ethics, the original content I provide, w3 and IEEE std compliance, working-prof-knowledge of Mass Media Law and Evil for my quick “Holy Stamp of Approval” for my fledgling site. I post those carefully partitioned/formatted/self-audited/qa’d ads in a minimalist way that adheres to the SPJ Code of Ethics – it is more about the badge of honor than the meager $ I get. I can show you how to do all this and then some.
Despite my twice upgraded GoogleAnalytics.js accout; I can only rvw data for 90 day periods, but we are popping 100,000 hits every quarter now and my core readrship of 3,000 is loyal and I am humbled and grateful for them most of….also Media Temple who sponsors my creative works by giving me a website with all the bells and whistles; they even gave me the keys to pHpMyadmin AND FTP access so i can deal with backend issues on my own. My cousin and I created a comment-spam killer that took us from 10,000/day to ZERO last September. Readers – as always – information is free @Tapper7.com – send questions and hate-mail to email@example.com if you’d like to send your site into orbit. I don’t even have anything for sale; which I’m certain endears me to the blog-reading public; there are no pop-ups, mySQL node is Kittner-Redoubt safe and spammers don’t spam – not no mo’!
My site is just for creative purposes; nothing is for sale. The implication being – if I can create a popular music/art/tech/humor blog in such an unexpectedly successful fashion. I look forward to the next small or mid-size business to sink my teeth into. If it’s exposure, Google rank, Google legitimacy, online reputation and unique digital MKTG —- hit me up. My methodology (Organically-Optimized Marketing) is proven.
As for content; if you think I published a lot this past year; for every 1,000 words posted, there are 10,000 sitting in my docs folder. I’m including rich multimedia into my posts now as well.
OWN your site. WP rocks, but it is just code….YOU build it, YOU market it, YOU deal w/ all the BS. Give credit where it is due as always, but YOUR Web site is brought to the interwebz by YOU, not WordPress.com, not GoDaddy and certainly not the guy who wrote your theme and warned you “not to mess w/ it” …like he’s some code-guru. Repeating myself I know but —CSS and PHP are NOT PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES …these dudes would mess themselves if they had to program in C++ or Java.
To sum – if you are building up a site – for whatver purpose – DO NOT HIRE a “WP Developer” or God-forbid an “SEO-Specialist” SCAM SCAM SCAMMY SCAM SCAM. I’ll help you for free and show you how easy it is so you can do it yourself. The kind words, references, respect and free beer are MORE THAN ENOUGH.
May as well write an arrangement of “Thumbs Up,” and other West Coast favorites…whatevuz….the real issue was…can I transcribe and test a simple arrangement w/o handing >$500 over to Adobe? I still intend to publish a free method book (…what got me 86’d from trumpet_herald_dot_com forums…) my handwriting for music is awful…plus I can’t gather 5-7 people any ol’ time to test harmony. Musescore is a pretty cool piece of open-source music-arrangement technology, not unlike what Audacity is to CoolEdit.
The graphic was made using Apache OpenOffice. Microsoft Office 369 or whatever? No thanks..I’m good. Sorry Adobe, I like your software but it is too expensive (InDesign is ~$3000) I’ll just develop my own it’s not rocket science.
I did “C Tuning” as well, but it doesnt crescendo or build or the way F does…ill upload both waves for your perusal. Enjoy or hate on it…there’s more to come at no cost courtesy Tapper7.com,Apache.org,(mt),Google, and MuseScore.org
here’s the wave file: test me…like the voicing?
‘C’ Tuning: Bb-Bb5-Bbtriad-Bbmin, EbM, FM, BbM(open)…rpts twice. this was my 1st stab at it…sorry not nearly as cool as “Thumbs Up”…still i wrote a 1st-2nd&3rd Earthworm-shooter part, a Fluegel/Mellophone (2 & 3pt harmony) 3 Barry Parts, Euph, and Tooooba wit a split in about 1 hr…I’m likin this. Note: now that we dont all read G-treble anymore, I find it more sensible to write the lead tbn/bar part in Tenor Clef: note I messed up and used Bass Clef for F Tuning…excessive on the ledger lines…may make sense to write 8va——-for about half the lead “tpt.” *ahem* SOPRANO parts for same reason. the double C is what, 6 lines up? – I just counted, the way I voiced C tuning you’d need 33 horns to hit all those notes. That’s what we started with at VK….
“Thumbs Up,” F Tuning! score/.wav presented by Tapper, open source and The Left Coast….