Publisher, site & Cast placed on 30-day hold by Administration ….

Yes, Mr. Welke is a straight up J-cat 5150 18-wheeler on 17 flat tires TRUCK, coming to halt via e-brake, shifting into low, swervin [Durbin!] and hopefully coming in for clean landing amidst a runaway truck mound. Jerry’s easy Tenor will lighten the moment before the CHP places mne in 4-point restraints in a [hopefully] tastefully-buttoned up hospital gown. Methinks this JG classic was playing when they found the rig.I likie the ones with the blue dots.
TapCast, now finally with fresh builds of Audacity, WP, FFmpeg Encoder & libmp3LAME.dll just ejected 2 new casts to let you know the ICU found its blood type ….O-….. the tracheotomy was successful and it will slowly revive, as did this writer in 2012. You can actually place this mess via iTunes, but for you ‘ultimate lazys’ out there I have an important question; ‘do you like Huey Lewis & The News?’
Associates & ***Performers/Staff at Impulse!*** get at me via email chris.e.welke@gmail …. the undisclosed location where Q-list celebs (me) and fmr. A-listers (Miley) wear robes, play footsy, drink coffee, talk at each other re: ‘where it all went wrong’ wont be of much help. its secure/discreet/private & as a journalist i’d rather you not violate anyone’s privacy besides moi. My drop-dead-gorgeous Suicide Gurl/gf/friends/w/benefits ‘Nic’ 1st stayed there about 11 yrs ago and the clientele was shocking. Did you watch the Academy Awards? Ok folks..there they are, the bvig ass black dudes, theyve got as straight jacket…mmm..mmmmmph!!!!
eeeee yuuuuuuu exxxxxt unnnnf!!!!!! Eyerra ssss nnnn ugleeeee ffft piyyyyg!!!! uuuuussshhhhh idddddd n-eye-nnnnnn eeeeelevennnnn!!!! Rrrrrumpo is uBer eeeeyond ay……ay…..mmmmm! AY….ummmphf _AYYYY!!!!! [ok cmon psycho it’s quiet time, we don’t waste Mr. Drew’s time do we?] ‘then why did he hire two n-OOOOOOFFFF!!!!’
If you clicky I money….can you do this fucking once for me?


Before they pull it! A Mis Abuelos with the Belgian dude!

Concierto! Other Spanish stuff. Bueno!
I saw this finals performance live with Stinky (great Euph player) we’d just about had enough BD/SCV/Cavs/PR/GF/Bones by that night, burt we didnt miss out on a chance to hear this one just 1 mo gin….s#!t A Drum Corps Fans Dream, part Dos yo!,

Testing WP 4.7.4

a recursive forest snap 1

When you sneak away to your favorite site, do you have any idea what happens when, say, you googled “Cal Poly” and my site cane up? Here’s a primer; and it helps us test that the update can at least, …. well…. update. Most of the info contained herein will only be useful if you find yourself on Jeopardy, or @Who wants to (whatever)”….maybe even not then, but you will learn, possibly be entertained and hey, we still have unsolved murders in SLO. Anyway before I get all deep and sad like. Data regarding your sites, the tools, the useless info, th tasteless jokes, the usual. You ordered it!

A spreadsheet I hope is readable
JavaScript
What is it? An object-oriented scripting language. Event-driven, loosely based on Java.
It is functional and imperative to the Interwebz.
Who created it?
Brendan Eich designed it for Netscape in 1995. Volunteers at mozilla.org, other sites and individuals have since expanded the language
What languages was it inspired by?
Java (duh), C, Perl,Lua, Scheme, Python, AWK too many to list.
What languages credit it for inspiration?
ActionScript (Adobe), JScript (Sun nee Oracle), CoffeeScript, Perl 6, .NET, Objective-J (that’s not a typo) QML, again too many to list.
Why is it so popular?
Netscape marketing cleverly piggy backed on the name of the right
Web language (Java, a fully functional language that runs servers, cars, street lights, toasters, you name it. >3 billion pieces of crap made in China run Java) *also*
It allowed for Dynamic Hypertext Markup….see how your FB feed and likes pop up likes and posts w/o
refreshing the page? Yeah, they invented that 20 years ago in Mountain View.
Also, without getting too technical, it runs on YOUR device, making it faster.
What about MariaDB? I know about MySQL and Google’s Big Data, but….(?)
From en.wikipedia.org “MariaDB is a community-developed fork of the MySQL relational database management system intended to remain free under the GNU GPL. Development is led by some of the original developers of MySQL, who forked it due to concerns over its acquisition by Oracle.Contributors are required to share their copyright with the MariaDB Foundation.” I paraphrased out some of the detritus. Tech Geeks it’s on GitHub.
What the heck is Hack? Keeping it simple, a scripting language ready-made-to-order for PHP 5 and Facebook…. also you cannot define local variables (if that makes no sense to you it’s cool just move on….)
Go? It’s from the wizard programmers at Google. A language and two compilers. They’re trying to keep all the good things about c/c++/Java and improve the rest. It makes BitCoin transactions faster, nuff said?
Erlang? A language you’ll likely never deal with unless you work at a server farm. Users clutter up intranets and networks, Erlang is a good janitor. Programmers can hot swap data; changing stuff without crashing Outlook. It’s made for real time systems (like when NASA tries to safely land a Mars rover, or when a million people try to watch the Game of Thrones preview at once). You don’t need to how…. that’s pretty much graduate level compsci and anything past the fundamentals are way past the scope of this clip.
Voldemort(????) a distributed data store that holds key values (IDs) from the good folks at LinkedIn for high-scalability. Yeah…. they named it after a Harry Potter character.
That’s all for now dudes and dude-ettes. *Phew* I did this whole post on an iPhone.

Fun with Microsoft’s Online OneDrive ….

So MSFT…in a last gasp effort to get you to use their software; is offering a newer; slightly more useful version of DropBox. You not only get some free cloud space; but instead of loading you up with a 90-day bloatware trial of Office 365 [as they did last time], they give you trial access to OneDrive.com (sorry no backlink –btw caution; the parody mktg doc im going to try and post HAS active links, one will take right back to the homepage at Tapper7.com; but the rest will take you to #NSFW in any way shape or form sites….just dont click them (crud now I KNOW you will…) anyway lets try n post this….it should be obvious what was weitten by Microsoft Marketing and what was edited by this writer ….Test – see if link to awful parody works ….Getting started with OneDrive parody by Tapper v0
Happy 2017!

Support our sponsor below – help keep The Pick running like a well-oiled ..err… ok I really mailed this one in – better content and a new podcast coming soon – we have new equipment here at SStudios. Woot!


Update – WP doesnt want to post their PDF either – so here is the text in raw cut & paste form – remember I changed the link-rels; (if they work which I doubt…) dont click if at work or want to retain marriage! xD
What is OneDrive?
OneDrive is another shit product from Microsoft. And it’s free[mium] this means it has in-app purchases so we can try to trick you out of your $ or try to convince you to buy crap you don’t need. You get 15 GB of free storage with your Microsoft account, so you can store all types of pr0n in one place and get to them from any Starbucks
Friends & family can easily hack into your OneDrive files, including photos, login credentials, dating Websites and your bank account – even your “secret” pr0n videos, And OneDrive works with Windows and Office (in case you didn’t know that your OS is compatible with our nearly value-less desktop publishing programs such as “Word” “Excel” “Access” and PowerPoint – you may still use these programs if you fell through a wormhole and landed in 1998, so it’s simple to work with OneDrive files on your computer and collaborate with other people on documents. You can do this for free using Google Docs; or if you need to collaborate at the “above two guys running a weed clinic” -level; we have SharePoint; Sun, oops, we mean Oracle also has a far better product for this; but it does MRP/ERP and other useful shit rendering “Office” utterly useless; they call it Salesforce.com. On a budget? Open-source pioneers Apache offer a suite of tools for publishing; drawing; collaboration; dB, spreadsheets and all sorts of other useful functions; it’s called OpenOffice.
The clock is really ticking on our ability to make $ on Office so buy now….please!
Add files from your computer
To add files to OneDrive, just drag them into your computer’s OneDrive folder using File Explorer or Finder. The files will automatically sync across all of your devices that have OneDrive installed (so not your iPhone, your Mac desktop or your Android device (sorry!). So you can drag a photo from your laptop to your
OneDrive—and later open it in OneDrive on your phone. By that we mean the Windows Phone you don’t own.
Add files from your phone or tablet
To add photos and videos on your phone or tablet to OneDrive, use the OneDrive app. Even better—you can also choose to turn on camera backup to automatically save the photos and videos you take to OneDrive. So even if you lose your phone or tablet, you won’t lose your memories!
Add files using the OneDrive website
You can also add files from any computer, tablet, or phone by using the OneDrive website. Just go to OneDrive.com, sign in, and then tap or click Upload.
Share files
You can share individual files and even entire folders without attaching anything. Send an email with a link to what you’d like to share (in case you didn’t know you could already do this using any email client made in the last 25 years)—and rest assured that everything else in your OneDrive will stay private (except for all the people who already fished, socially engineered, brute-forced or simply requested your login credentials). To share items from the OneDrive website, just select the check box in the upper-right corner of the item and choose Share.
See, in software engineering; the requirements were to “add a method to share objects with other users” Sharing takes one step IRL; I hand you my smoke – done. But since this is Microsoft; where we begin sentemnces with words like “but,” “and” ….we build outdated software one wants or needs; our OS will crash if you forget to reboot; perhaps our most famously idiotic OS UI/UX design flaw goes all the way back to our first GUI; Windows 3.0 (which Xerox’s Parc Research Facility allowed us AND a marketing firm called Blueberry [or something] to build a OS’s that would put a PC in every home in America, later the Western World; now nearly the Globe) so it wasn’t us that invented it; but we know when to repurpose software & weasel out of paying! Anyway; as we started to create Windows; the topic of “shutting down” the computer came up….a senior engineer who hated C & C++ (said we should built it in Ada…anyway) he said “we already made “start” button; let’s just put it there.” A pesky C++ programmer piped up and said “…but stop is the opposite of start, therefore one can’t be designed as a subset of the other.” He was promptly fired. We hired another C/C++ guy who nodded and agreed with the sr. Engineer in all the right places; so we released his family from captivity and had the FBI drop the treason charge against him.
Collaborate with Office
OneDrive works with Office, so it’s easy to collaborate [its also easy to repeat yourself 3 times in 2 sentences!). Instead of sending around different copies of documents, you can give other people permission
to edit the document directly (just like any other CMS on the market!). You can even collaborate with people who don’t have Office installed on their computers—they can open and edit documents in OneDrive using Office Online. Of course; we aren’t responsible for other OS’s so the preceding statement is not only untested –if it fails its YOUR FUCKIN PROBLEM JACK!
Get OneDrive on your devices
Use OneDrive on your computer, tablet, and phone to get to your stuff from anywhere. You can download OneDrive apps at OneDrive.com/download.
Where can I learn more? For more info, check out OneDrive.com/about or go to OneDrive.com/support.
Whats the best way to kill myself?
Auto-erotic asphyxiation is in style for winter 2017!

MyEmojiBio ….

By GA production artist Gwen Carrington….the following is a biography of this writer in Emoji-only form. Not bad. Write one about someone else…. do you know enough to hit the highlights of their life via symbology (
Here’s my life through someone else’s perspective using emojis as pallete…..

By Gwen C.
By Gwen C.

A tribute to “pretty good privacy” or PGP …


I found a breakdown of the design of this security algorithm still in use a quarter-century after its creation; but the designer obviously never took a course in design docs or spec; so here is my re-made rendition. (processes/functions/methods are rectangular, [most] data is parallelogram-ular (??)…all other symbols, descriptions, connections, emoji’s and hyperlinks should be intuitive. Created by Bill Feynman at self-sim-sususudios 11/16. the following is a link to the odf if you’d like to download and improve/edit/whatever….pgp-diagram pgp-diagram
for JP, find him @www.analogdesign.com

Processing Javascript test ….

a snap of the src


//shoots red green & blue lasers from bottom of fram to top
//or surface-to-air Star Wars anti-Communist anti-satellite
//laser defense sys emulator in 2d
//inspired by TRW Research (active per local eyewitness 10/17/16
//IP Tapper@ssstudios LA,CA
//global vars
int bluelxpos = 38;
int bluelypos = 398;
int laserwidth = 6;
int laserheight = 188;
int redlxpos = 200;
int redlypos = 366;
int gnlxpos = 325;
int gnlypos = 333;
int framecount = 0; //for testing & frame-tracking
void setup(){
size(400,400);
background(0);//k
frameRate(120);//default fr x2
framecount++;
drawlasers();
}
void drawlasers(){
//blue
fill(38, 38, 200);
rect(bluelxpos, bluelypos, laserwidth, laserheight);
//red
fill(255,0,0);
rect(redlxpos, redlypos, laserwidth, laserheight);
//gn
fill(0,255,0);
rect(gnlxpos, gnlypos, laserwidth, laserheight);
laserheight--;
}//end drawlasers
void draw(){
//shoot lasers up
//blue
fill(38, 38, 200);
bluelypos--; //delta y blue laser
rect(bluelxpos, bluelypos, laserwidth, laserheight);
if(bluelypos+laserheight==0){//refire
bluelxpos = (int)random(1,399);
bluelypos = 398;
}//end if
//rd
fill(255,0,0);
redlypos--; //delta y red laser
rect(redlxpos, redlypos, laserwidth, laserheight);
if(redlypos+laserheight==0){//refire
redlxpos = (int)random(1,399);
redlypos = 366;
}//end if
//gn
fill(0,255,0);
gnlypos--; //delta y gn laser
rect(gnlxpos, gnlypos, laserwidth, laserheight);
if(gnlypos+laserheight==0){//refire
gnlxpos = (int)random(1,399);
gnlypos = 333;
}//end if
framecount++;
}//end draw

Due Diligence for readers – new ad categories allowed per Google optimization suggestions ….

    As you may know, we here at the Pick deny advertisers from Google’s ad-universe for a variety of reasons–

  • Ads for any product or service that is a scam or appears “scammy” (certain online universities, too-good-to-be-true and the like …)
  • Ads containing visually unappetizing imagery or text (pictures of foot fungus, or weight-loss “comparisons” or “shaming” pix = image of a grossly obese & scantily clad person, yech!)
  • Organizations that interfere with the publisher’s morals or ethics (stalker apps, Penn State ….)
  • Any product that disguises itself as a clickable portion of MY PAGE (despite my compliance and strict adherence to adequate labeling/positioning/sectioning away from legit content…)

The featured image (above) shows a snippet of data you won’t be able to read unless you are a Google client, employee or Ad-partner (like us!). In it, I’ve continued to deny online gambling ads. Gambling is by far the worst and most damaging — to self and those close — of all the addictions. Worse even, than cigarettes or alcohol. Today, I’ve allowed “downloadables” which I presume is “freemium” content, like Clash of Clans or Candy Crush. “South Park” did an episode on this, entitled “freemium” [if memory serves] if that word sounds like guttural French to you, well, it kinda is, but if it MEANS no more that something guttural in a dead language, I recommend Trey Parker & Matt Stone’s take on it to explain. I see no ethical issue [downloads are usually free, the extra content, levels, truncated wait-time is available for purchase if you are wealthy, extremely impatient or extremely gullible ….] As election 2016 approaches, being a media outlet, I’ve opted IN to “political ads” if you’ve seen my awful caricatures, listened to Bill’s rants on TapCast or read my #RNC2016 coverage & editorial, you’ll know that this writer is not a fan of Trump…but this is ‘muhricuh…dammit! I’ll defend his right to plaster “Make America Great AGAIN” all over ever single ad unit on this site if he wants…that’s free speech 101.
If you ever see an ad that offends you, is in poor tastes, looks “scammy,” or represents an organization, institution you despise,take the time to leave a comment. If we agree I’ll ban the shit out of it, promise!
to do list for this site

  • update to wp 4.6 (must backup custom php 1st)
  • posts – [with original artwork!] re- election, the economy, career choicers, investment projections, fresh ideas and the two new languages we are hip-dep in Swift and R
  • design – ongoing [wip] updates
  • learn to create a child theme + tutorial
  • more regular and higher quality podcasts, possibly including original music [stay tuned!]

Orange-u-glad-u frequent a site where the publisher goes out of his way, not only to keep content fresh, original, timely, interesting and worth that 15mins/day where you have nuthin better to do, but keeps the site secure, updated, continually upgrades design, appends how-to’s regardin’ CMS and front-end-webdev where applicable…but is also are excruciatingly anal about 3rd party content. Hopefully the political ads and “downloadables” are not too ugly — all ads are subject to ban, same with blacklisting of the organization/companies they bleed from at any time for any reason. here we go kids, below is a footer style ad that ostensibly will not offend your (or MY) delicate sensibilities.




*****update – the 1st published version of this post contained a poorly-drawn picture of a human foot with big nasty looking toes, therefore the advertiser was susequently banned, sorry if you had to see that. The biz seemed legit, but no ugliness on my aesthetically-pleasing site consarnit!!!!

HAPPY LABOUR DAY – PS CHRIS W. IS FOR HIRE! GET AT him USING THE COMMENTS, VIA SM OR text the BUSINESS LINE IF YOU ARE LUCKY & POSESS IT

Style and Code is under construction + Advertiser Audit is in process….

please note that this site may look strange until I have time to tear up the code and test it. in the short-term we wanted all multimedia files to be accessible; in my efforts to customize the footer.php file, the site became deprecated and robbed me of my ability to post certain content, especially music. I noted a bit of renewed interest in the 2007 Kingsmen Alumni Corps, of which I recently located a rare recording, so I cut up “Mambo” (feat. my boys Phil Norris on Soprano and Carl Allison on Baritone). I’ve sacrificed “pretty-looking-and-the-way-I-like-it” for “It works.”—–cant be posting links to music that you cannot see, click or listen too! in the meantime plz bear with the weak-sauce styles, colors, frames…all that good stuff I will spruce up asap. In the meantime I banned two questionable advertisers. No offense but if you want to “spread the word of” *ahem* “JeBus” you can do it somewhere else <------not misspelled see "the simpsons go to [some 3rd world country]" We don't want your money. This is a Los Angeles Jewish-controlled-Media site, as it should be. We are slightly left-of-center. To correct speakers at the RNC 2016 we are not atheists, nor do we “worship Lucifer.” We believe in God. we look at it quite differently from all Christians, this does not mean we have anything against any religion, it just means that this site is primarily a news/tech/commentary blog with an emphasis on design, art, music and editorials. It is not a place to hand out church fliers. The web is a big place….ostensibly, please consider 99 percent of the content to be secular in nature. thx -the publisher, Los Angeles, July 2016
*UPDATE* NUCIFIC.COM also banned – reason – asynchronous multimedia ad featured the truncated backside of an overweight woman in a white “bikini” (…..) bottom. It offended my delicate sensibilities and I wonder who would find the mystery product and/or service appealing BASED on the unappetizing image. Sorry but images of big fat asses (not even my own) are as red flag, especially on a site devoted to aesthetically-pleasing images, media, art, design, code, logic, prose …. and music. apologies if you saw that ad.
Four separate Christianity-based advertisers got banned along with “dookie bootie” on 7/21 & 7/22/2016 for poor taste and misalignment with the design and ethical standards of The SoCal Pic

That said hopefully the advert below is appropriate for me, you and all other readers/contributors/supporters of site. contact me at chris.e.welke@gmail.com if you ever see an offensive or questionable advert put BAD AD ON YOUR SITE in subject line–I will review and get back.