Christmas day….and the classic pics I promised! ….

a photo of rich skare in his 89 bd uniform

Featured: one of the special photographs I promised. Rich Skare in 89 BD garb w/ Meehaphone. RIP brother. What I wouldn’t give to be chillin’ with best friend today. I am in a way. heh….
Below: the other I recently obtained permission to publish. Gail Royer and Jerry Seawright at DCI. Bridgemen are seen in the background. ca. 1984 (???).
Photos Courtesy: Tim White and Sylvia Skare…special thanks to both of you and happy holidays!.
A photo of Gail Royer and Jerry Seawright at DCI in ~1985
Sorry for the cliche’ but…wow. ‘talk ’bout a picture being worth a 1000 words, this …what are they discussing?
Not a whole lot going on today. I found a relevant video to what I’d posted on trumpetherald.com, a lame brass forum I just got banned from. I was particularly active in the /range-building section (or whatever it’s called…), where people dropped useless spam EVERYWHERE and bad information about how to develop your range. I highly doubt you can read my “Rules for ‘Playing high'” which was only tongue-in-cheek for ONE of the rules, the rest were actually useful and appear here. I think my IP is banned. “Tapper7” is ABSOLUTELY banned. I must admit I started out TRYING to troll the site, but then I felt bad for the students reading the forum posts and learning poor brass performance practices that would limit their ability and I wanted to post something helpful. Funny it’s what got me banned.
Here is the OP in it’s full naked glory:
Rules for "playing high"
For the last time:
1. Play through the center of the horn, even if you like to place the mthpc a li'l off-center.
2. Vibration creates frequency, therefore MORE and FASTER air is req'd for each subsequent partial.
3. GET YOUR STUPID TONGUE OUT OF THE WAY DURING LONG TONES AND SLURS
3a.articulation should be "HA" not "Dah" ...."Dah" is for accent or legato, "Tah" is staccato.
3b. YOUR TONGUE WILL NOT HELP YOU PLAY "HIGH"!
3.4(Weed helps you "play high")
3c.anyone who says "tighten" "pressure" "spc. trick" "buy this mthpc" "do x w/ your cheeks/face/tongue"...anything that's not related to the PHYSICS of how sound is produced by a human using their lips and a horn as an amplifier is a f---ing liar
and prob. has some bogus book or vid for sale too. IGNORE OBVIOUS LIES.
3d.anyone who uses or buys a special "shallow cup mthpc" or buys any add-on or uses a special material in hopes
of "playing high" should quit or at least kill themselves. Your CG3 or 1 and a half is FINE.
4. You should have a solid "high C" by 6th grade.
5. You should be able to play confidently above a high C (as a soloist) by freshman yr. of HS.
6. dub-C by jr. year of HS(and go march drum corps like a man) or GTFO. NO EXCEPTIONS.
7. More air.
7a. The inspiration of the Billy-Bad Asses who came before you, that inspire you, met these req'mt's.
7b. A few of them did not march drum corps. Louie Armstrong, Clifford Brown and other
legends like Jon Faddis and Adam Rapa.
All OTHER RULES WERE/ARE FOLLOWED BY THE ABOVE PLAYERS TO A T.
8. More air.
9. Read rule 7.
10. Still needs more air. Breathe.
10a. Grow a pair. If female, do this figuratively.
10b. Not enough air. Re-read rule 7.
10c. It's not "all about practice" some people will never be able to play above a G on top of the staff (treble-Bb). Some have it. Most don't.
10d. Joey Pero can bust out "Gospel John" better than you. NO EXCEPTIONS.
10e. Scott Steward is an all-around better musician than you. NO EXCEPTIONS.
10f. Sean Billings is louder and can play way higher than you. NO EXCEPTIONS.
10g. Jim Prime. If that name is unknown to you---> fix that.
10gPrime. If any name listed is unknown to you---> fix that.
10h. Rick South said to tell you that "YOU ARE NOT USING ENOUGH AIR. MORE AIR."
Notes:
Yes I am the OP so that makes me a fa---- by default. Feel free to point it out. Don't buy anyone's bull$#!
chop development book. You want to know some slur-patterns I will post them NO CHARGE. Same for breathing exercises and common warm-ups. Hell I'll explain Jack Meehan's hand signals if you want. HE GAVE IT AWAY.
His sons built on top of it...then ALSO gave it away, to jerks like me.
I've in turn built my own conglomeration of their exercises, Arban's, Rochut's, those taught to me by Mike Hoffman, Dean Westman, Greg Flores and Gordon Henderson INTO SOMETHING I CALL MY OWN AND ALSO WANT TO GIVE AWAY.
Cuz we love brass performance, not spamming dorky web forums or making $ off bs.
Information is free. If you have a "how to play high" book and you want to spam this
site and impressionable kids? OK-maybe you know something I don't: post a YT vid of yourself
PASTING a dub-C....no warm-up, no lip-up...just HIT the m-fer and don't blow sharp like a retard!
Bonus points if you can shake the E above it and kiss it off. THIS OP REFLECTS THE VIEWS OF TAPPER7 AND NONE OF THE PERSONS LISTED-

I said I wanted to release my own brass method – for free, right? I presume that’s what got me banned. My 1st few posts were just awful and INTENDED TO OFFEND but people like…agreed with me. Some old guy from NC posted that my OP was reminiscent of an old-school brass forum he missed and that he thought it was hysterical and informative. I replied. “North Carolina knows what’s up,” then. BANNED. It will prob. publish on this site, why not? Cost – zilcho. I’ll even transcribe some cool solos for the back. I’ll write it in “Bb treble” so whatever tin-can you play on you can read it w/o having to transpose. I prefer “C” like as-written for a piano, but hey it’s just a whole step for me in my head – a minor 3rd for G Bugles and the exercises needn’t be transposed at all.
I also insisted that hacks spamming that forum with all their tips and tricks to “play high” that are “for sale” on their site to PROVE they can play above a double-C: in fairness. Here’s me. It’s not that hard.

If you are visting this site FROM trumpetherald.com…WELCOME! I’m not the greatest writer OR musician, but at least you’ll occasionally have a laugh with me…and I won’t try to sell you anything. Go buy a beer. or 36.
Also made the upgrade to WP v4.1 as-promised. Can’t really say if it’s better and I’ve yet to review the 2015-theme PHP (for now I’m sticking w/ my most recent customized CSS and variation on an old theme)…but it’s ALLEGEDLY MORE SECURE (This site is locked up hard…whatever security upgrades the WP people added is like throwing an extra padlock on a Kittner-Redoubt, but hey it can’t hurt! Happy holidays to all my wonderful readers. You know how it is with ol’ Tapper. I got mad love for ya’ …have a great holiday.

Christmas day….and the classic pics I promised! ….

 
 
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New content coming soon…. btw wtf is WP v4.1? ….

Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold tests his xmas lights handiwork

Heh… ain’t I just an SEO whorin’ out little bitch? —inserting a question I KNOW lots will plug into GS just to get you to come here….I really am a hypocritical douchey lonely loser zilch.
Uh….anywayz….I added that calendar widget to the right-column and noted I’d not updated in a week.
Well. Shit. So here’s a post. People ask me how I feel this time of year. I think the collective creativity of Terry Zwigoff, The Coen Bros., Billy Bob Thorthon and Frederick “Fucking” Chopin sum it up pretty nicely:

Get your shopping done? Got any $ left? Did you donate or hook up any homeless people?
whatever…should I even pretend to care when my real readers know that I’m moody this time of yr and don’t give a Fizzuck. They also know how I got mad love for ’em. Yeah…I’m talkin to you; in Los Angeles, The Central Coast, SD, SF, SJ, Santa Clara, Campbell, Stockton, Sac-town….Chi(“Shy”)-town….Austin, Rockford, Worcester, Milwaukee, Detroit, Tampa Bay, the East Coast of FL. Louisiana, Mizzuo, OK, Penn. Upstate New York especially Syracuse.
Mad love for Laguna Beach and Seattle. Dana Point, SJC and San Clemente. South County Style.

To my bad-ass readers all up in New Jersey, Maryland, Ohio, Indiana and Virginia.. My readers in Washington DC, Japan, Spain, Portugal, The United Kingdom, Canada, Mexico, Colombia, The Former USSR including the Ukraine….where I’ve never mentioned but….that’s where I’m FROM. readers there: we are kin. blood. Someday…we celebrate Chanukkah together. In your honor I’ve included some idiotic map gifs…do NOT THINK THAT I FACT-CHECKED data contained therein….I was just browsing for fun-stuff on 4chan. NO NOT THAT! OK…but it wasn’t on THAT PARTICULAR occasion, k? Sheesh….

a map of north america and walmart locations

Love for the randoms from Brazil who keep comin’ back. I don’t speak Portugese or know sh– about your country/culture, but I appreciate it when you visit…Brazil: “huge shout out to Brazil….huge shout out.”
The Cal Poly San Luis Obispo material is ON HOLD pending publication of The California Register, there are recent developments in the ice-cold Kristin Smart case. Go theere for details. Once that edition drops I will release hordes of info, anecdotes, stories and shit-talking on my good ol’ alma mater.

    Expect lots of tech-notes as I dive head-1st into:

  1. JavaFX
  2. Windows 8.1 hacks, tips, tricks, cheats, shortcuts, mudkipz, you know the drill
  3. WordPress v4.1 – migration, CSS, PHP, blah blah….
  4. How to – Optimize your Web site for mobile devices
  5. The usual security loopholes; how to sew ’em up and which holes not to step in
  6. Scams: who what where why how—-as always, served fresh
  7. Seven. Cuz This is  Tapper7.com. it’s 7x the TAP Muthaf—!

The more I learn, the more you will. I’ve got so much unpublished content I don’t even know wtf to do with it.
As always…My creative and technical services are available at a discount for readers of this Web page. Oh, I never said that? Well they are. Hiring managers: I’m avail @ $0/hr for 1st 90 days, risk free PLUS $2500 tax credit from The State. Inquire w/in for details.
On That Note: this is an excellent opportunity for me to to shove an advertisement all up in your face.
After all…what would Xmas be w/o advertising….specifically sponsored Sponsored Links? If you enjoy me, or this Web site, or any of the content I manage to assemble. Then… for the holidays, I would say if the ad below legitimately peaks your interest, that you visit their site. You’d be doing me and my sponsors a massive favor:


Will post again soon. till then…let’s get the fade on get DOWN yo! Happy Holidays EVERYONE. &heart -Tapper
a gif of moe from the simpsons
I Bend Them....Bender gif
a map of north america
Sponsor:

Special thanks for supporting Tapper7.com to the advertiser found above ^^^^ ****Update:(If it works…I rewrote the Javascript again (FEB 2015)) …even though I’m not supposed to f— with their code…whatever..like I care right?

On Changing Majors at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo….

A recent search query was shot thru Google …the user was clearly concerned about her child’s decision to change majors at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. Tapper7.com was once again located organically.
As part of a larger project, I’ve written at devastating length and excruciating detail about my life at Cal Poly and Cal Poly itself. I’ve written quite a bit about CHANGING MAJORS at Poly, WHY it is so difficult and why the policy of forcing applicants to declare a major defies logic and is counter-productive.
Point: The initial reason to make changing majors difficult was to prevent an aggie (an Agriculture Student from using his enrolled status to side-step the excruciatingly meticulous process by which Engineering and Architecture students are selected). For instance; dep. on your location, an SAT score of 1000 and a 3.0 GPA with zero extra-curricular activities, zero volunteer work, zero AP classes and no membership in extracurricular clubs, sports, activities or events WOULD QUALIFY for an applicant for The Cal Poly San Luis Obispo College of Agriculture. Perhaps not an acceptance, but certainly a qualify.
This same application to the College of Engineering has a Keyword-binary search algorithm that would keep admissions from even being able to see it, but for arguments sake:

I was accepted to The Cal Poly College of Engineering in 1998. From the viewpoint of a college applicant, Poly was my “reach school,” that is, I applied to five universities, three of which were a “lock” (UCSB, ASU and U of A) one was a “probably” (UC Davis) and now you know what Cal Poly was.
College “counselors” both public and private; informed me of the following regarding Cal Poly:
1. Despite your above average SAT score, your high school career that included multitudes of “advanced” and “college prep” classes, your college-credits already accumulated in the fields of mathematics and music, your mountain of volunteer work and your GPA that fell w/in two-tenths of a 4.0 (aka straight-A’s) You probably won’t get in.
2. You will need to select a major ON THE APPLICATION. If accepted, you will be required to stick with it; Cal Poly makes changing majors extremely difficult. UC schools that permit “Undeclared” are far more desirable to students (such as this writer) who keeps which t-shirt he is going to wear “Undeclared” until moments before leaving the house.
3. Cal Poly’s motto of “Learn by Doing,” is also as “Learn by doing a LOT-CONSTANTLY.”
4. Your ability to survive (that is to not flunk out) of Cal Poly is akin to a coin-toss.
These advisers all “advised” me to drop Poly from my list and add an extra “lock” (SDSU) and/or a “probably” (UCSC).
The 18-year-old Chris Welke was very much like the 35-year-old Chris Welke who writes to you today: he doesn’t care what YOU think and he will go to any length to get what he wants.
In 1998, the same thing was true of Cal Poly as is true today, “U.S. News and World Report” ranks The Cal Poly San Luis Obispo College of Engineering as the #1 Public Engineering College in the West. Choosing a major was but a small hurdle: Good at math? Check. Like video games? Check.
Computer Science. Simple….AMIRITE?
Fifty bucks + one HS transcript + recommendations + etc. et al…were sent to UCSB, Davis, ASU, U of A and Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. I was accepted to all five. The choice to enroll at Poly was (to me) a given. Prestigious, selective, exclusive, far from home but not TOO FAR (~300 miles) and my “tour” of the campus did little but solidify the assumptions and desires of the young and naïve Chris Welke. Nice weather, nice students, nice outfits on nice-looking women….even a friendly freshman who answered all my questions, hung out with me…even showed me where the freshmen dormies go to get loaded – where…. we got loaded of course! As far as my 5 choices were concerned, Poly now had a Mandate. Davis, Santa Barbara had become 3rd party candidates, ASU was my Ralph Nader-desireable but distant and impractical, unlikely, and UofA now had a snowballs chance in…Arizona.
At the time, a cross-product of my GPA, SATs, extra-curriculars, AP scores, volunteerism and college-prep classes/grades would show that among California’s high school students, I was at or above the 98th percentile. This meant (to over-simplify) that I was a better student than 97 percent of California’s “HS Class of 1998.”
Going from “almost assuredly the most talented, educated, hard-working, intelligent student in class” to “DEFINATELY the most average, ho-hum, nothing special, barely worth mentioning student in class,” was a bit of a shock. Check that…it WAS A SHOCK.
1998 carried a few “firsts” for the young Chris Welke:
I failed a class
I felt stupid
I felt “less than”
I felt average (at Cal Poly, I was. In the College of Engineering, I was BELOW AVERAGE)
I sensed Dread. Looming Danger and Doom.
I was placed on “Academic Probation”
Smart and hard-working friends flunked out in the spring (A GPA < 2.0 for fall  Probation. If the following quarter didn’t raise the GPA to >2.0  expulsion) For a freshman, 12 units of fail (let’s say a 4-unit lab, a 4 unit lecture and a 3 unit seminar
….let’s say I failed all 3.
4 unit lab = F, 4 unit lec. = F and 3 unit sem = F.
Now I have a 0.0 GPA heading into Winter quarter, in order to NOT flunk out, I (ideally) re-enroll in these three classes and Ace ALL THREE. B’s would yield a 3.0 for Winter and a 1.5 overall GPA  that’s a bus ticket home. This is an extreme example and not likely to happen; in fact if it did; the Dean of Engineering, seeing such massive improvement, would do two things;
1. Launch a plagiarism investigation and if satisfied that those Bs were legit…
2. Play “Let’s Make a Deal,” offering the student one more quarter to prove himself, likely 12 units of GE and/or major classes yielding grades that would bump the overall GPA to >= 2.0.
Make no mistake; despite the generosity of my family and the Federal Pell Grants that kicked in during my final two years; money was ALWAYS an issue. The work I did for the Computer Science Dept. was volunteer, as was my time at the Daily, KCPR and KVEC (though they all seemed and felt like FT jobs). In that six yr interval, I worked at the Starbucks on Higuera and Foothill, I delivered pizza for the Dominoes franchise on Foothill serving SLO and the franchise in Arroyo Grande serving the Five Cities, I worked on-campus for an English-Lit professor as her aide. And my last “real job” was a contract delivery-boy for some of the finest restaurants in town. If you received catering (or just a burger) from Firestone’s, Thai Palace, The Madonna Inn and a host of other outstanding restaurants in SLO…it was me who brought it to your door.
So now you know a little bit about me.
In case you missed it, you should infer the following; only the 98th percentile QUALIFY for acceptance to Poly….of those a third are accepted. Entrée into the College of Engineering is a pipedream for most. From this fact – it should be obvious that my HS career was characterized by AP classes, a high SAT score, MANY extracurricular activities in which I excelled (for me: brass performance, all idioms), a great deal of volunteer work, a spotless academic record and a demonstrated aptitude for math, science, technology, hard work and fast-learning. That made me a desirable candidate both for the compsci dept., the CE and CPSLO as a whole.
I CHANGED MAJORS. This is intentionally made next-to-impossible by the administration for a variety of reasons, but mainly to further emphasize the superiority and uniqueness of the “fact” that Poly’s freshmen KNOW what they want to do with their lives and have made an official commitment. (that an 18-yr-old doesn’t know what he wants on his ham sandwich is an issue for another edition and beyond the scope of THIS article….).
I was not in the “cheat my way into a more prestigious college/major mode” when I did this. I was in the “if I don’t change majors, I will continue on writing millions of lines of code which I not only am sick to death of…my negative feelings and anxiety attributed to my current major WILL lead to one and only one place: expulsion.
YES I chose an “easier” major…it was a tossup between Journalism (The College of Liberal Arts) or Psychology (The College Science and Mathematics). Both colleges had professors and administrators eager to accept me, but we all must follow the rules; ANY Change of Major is considered a red-flag for the student’s CP career AND the major/college he intends to transfer to. The moment the decision is made –In my case: f— computer science and f— the CPCE – I want to enroll in The College of Liberal Arts as a Journalism major – sorry I don’t have the precise data on-hand, but it likely varies depending on the student, his status w/in his current college/major and the availability and desire of him and his abilities by the faculty and admins of the college/major he wishes to transfer TO).
My status as a compsci major was below average. My desire and reasons for changing majors were sound, honest and based on facts. The faculty, including the Dean of CLA and associate professors of Journalism were eager and willing to have me and transferring from CPCE to CPCLA is a concerted STEP DOWN – clearly I was not trying to “bankroll” my enrolled-status into a major or college I otherwise may not have been accepted into in the 1st place.
Still, changing majors under fairly favorable conditions such as mine were not considered “a good idea,” NOT supported by my family/friends and Cal Poly’s transfer process made it the whole endeavor needlessly complicated, absurdly difficult and nearly led to my expulsion.
Why? Cuz changing majors = bad. This explains nothing; just accept the rule.
How? By setting a ticking time bomb once the process begins.
1. To get into the CPCLA as a Journalism major; I must demonstrate an aptitude for Journalism by taking the core curricula 101-level coursework; and NAILING IT. As in A’s. The actions taken must demonstrate clearly: “Chris wants to be a Journalism major BADLY and CLA believes him; allow him one academic year to prove his aptitude and altruism.”
2. Every class that I’m taking to prove myself to CLA is DAMAGING my CE status. Continuing to take software engineering courses would be counter-productive – they’d sap all my time, detract from my ability to prove myself to the CLA and if I were to succeed, the CSC courses would be waste; they’d count as technical electives. Considering I’d been a CSC major for over 3 years…I had PLENTY of technical electives. Each quarter filled with News Writing, Copy Editing, Creative Writing and Media Law/Media Ethics were quarters where I was an enrolled student of the CE. They allowed one quarter containing [NO MAJOR-SPECIFIC COURSEWORK], the following quarter, CE placed me on Academic Probation for [NOT PROGRESSING w/in MAJOR] meaning one more quarter sans a 4unit lab/lecture with the prefix CSC meant expulsion from CE and since I was not yet enrolled in the CLA  it would be expulsion from Cal Poly in toto. That same quarter, the Dean of The CLA informed me that the Journalism faculty was quite pleased with my performance and that if I excelled next quarter as I had the previous two; he guaranteed that The CLA would accept me with declared major requirement of Journalism firmly affixed.
The Dean did not lie. The following quarter I was enrolled in the Cal Poly College of Liberal Arts Majoring in Journalism. It’s timing was cut SO CLOSE that if viewed under a microscope, you may be able to find that I was expelled from The College of Engineering at EOB on a Friday…and that The Dean of The College of Liberal Arts had already filed and notarized all the necessary paperwork that SAME day, so that when The State California opened on Monday morning, I was enrolled in the CLA. What I’m sayin’ to you is this:
****It MIGHT be public record that I was expelled from Cal Poly. Likely the record shows that I was expelled from CE and simultaneously enrolled in the CLA.
****There is technically no such thing as “changing majors” at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo: Applications and Expulsions are the accurate way to describe it.
****I vehemently oppose requiring an 18 year old to declare a major.
****Like many processes, systems and hoops to jump through at Poly, I do not wish “Changing Majors” on my worst enemy.
As a Poly student; I am completely, totally and absolutely AVERAGE. If you had a super-computer capable of generating a statistically accurate cross-section of male Californians with a B.S. from Cal Poly and hit the “generate” button….every attribute listed would be a perfect match. Like most interfaces, were you to click on [VIEW] select [RANDOM] the only change would be “Name” and slight variations in the numbers (My SAT score would be a bit lower, my aptitude in math would be a bit higher, the six years it took me to receive a B.S. – just a fifth above the avg 5.8)
Do I tell you this to brag about how “smart” or “educated” I am? (Partly yes) Mainly it’s to let you know who is writing this article: a man who fought to get into the best college possible, chose Cal Poly amidst a plethora of respectable universities, maintained a 2.0 throughout six years at Poly while working PT, FT or both, often with one of those jobs paying $0/hr all while being a working, learning, productive, useful, tax-paying, tax-generating and revenue-generating citizen of San Luis Obispo. —and there is absolutely NOTHING special or unique about that – when you compare me to the hundreds of thousands of alumni who did the EXACT SAME THING.
Much more coming soon. [] some fresh content is on hold as another publication has 1st dibs on it. I DO hope they accept it….it is quite eloquent, concise and poetic compared to the drivel, xenophobia, OCD, cringe-humor, mud-slinging, anger-venting and other forms of madness-verging-on-artwork-and-within-the-realm-of-humor found on THIS self-published Web site.
I hope you had a nice holiday.
In 2014- I am grateful for everyone who has visited Tapper7.com and read my work. I am constantly humbled BY you and eternally thankful FOR you. Please do not hesitate to ask for help with your site, blog, podcast…tech issues, problems, security…whatever it is. To my readers I am in debt.
Just click on the [contact me] button or leave a comment….once you navigate the convoluted CAPTCHAS, you can say whatever you want…I’ll print it and respond.
Stay tuned dear reader. Good things are coming down the pipeline. Fun, frivolity, music and information that always has been and always will be free and SECURE. @Tapper7.com

Open during construction….

a memeorial poster showing Japanese Zeroes dropping bombs on PH.

Some slides, just cuz…

  • \
  • With Pooh Bear. RIP Big Bro....
  • 1997 Santa Clara Big Bores with Dean Westman and Jeb.
  • 96 VK Big Bores. RIP Ray Arias.
  • 1994 CVHS Leads
  • With Alisha....04 Banquet
  • Me n Michelle, in MS
  • Tapper n Joey B!
  • Me n Bill Watrous
  • Me n Beetlejuice
You could say this writer’s been pretty busy….you could say this writer sits on his ass all day. Whatever the case may be, the priority has been write a decent editorial for The California Register and setup/configure the hardware and software this li’l creative project known as Tapper7.com is going to need moving into the future.
I recorded episode zero of Season 1 of the Tapper7 Podcast. It’s not suitable for primetime or late-night, but I thought it was fun to make and once I figure out the specifics of creating a [1400px X 1400px] graphic and configuring the RSS feed I’m just gonna drop the m-fer.
So….if you are one of my valued readers in San Luis Obispo County….check your mailbox. You might see an editorial written by some idiot named “Chris Welke.” **UPDATE** Breaking news in the Kristen Smart Case has forced the editorial staff to place the holiday edition ON-HOLD ’till January.
“Expect us.” In your mailbox next year. We are NOT anonymous.
I had to scrap the PHP for this site and we’re…sort of starting from scratch. we ARE doing a full-on redesign.
For now it’s simply choosing a theme — I made a few customization’s, the site WORKS. you can read/access the information presented here…especially if you are a new visitor and end up here as a result of my upcoming piece in The Register and want to know a li’l more about the subversive, OCD, schizoid pseudo-intellectual known as Chris Welke.
Please make use of the comment section on any article if you want to throw me under the bus, compliment me or threaten to kill me…..I love comments. I publish them unedited.
Not counting spam, which has not gotten past our security ONCE since September. It makes creating content a trillion times easier but also throws off-would-be commenters. You can always hit me up direct w/o all the CAPTCHAS and math problems by sending an EMAIL (I know…) to:

chris@tapper7.com. If you would like your note to appear as a comment, you MUST wade through my system … as SNL called it back-in-the-day, this is a “ruining it for everybody” situation and I apologize on behalf of India and Red-state spam-bot builders who r—- the comment section on this site.
Follow the links regarding My Dearly Departed Better Half if you are interested in contributing to my/her work….after all…Dominique deserves all the credit. I learned to report at Poly…Dominique taught me how to WRITE. This time of year
….I really really really REALLY MISS HER BAD.
If you want to support this Web site…scope out the sponsors you see peppered around here. It’s easy to do, you don’t have to buy anything from them….just…check ’em out, you might even find a great holiday gift. Afterall, the algorithm matched ME and MY CONTENT with YOU and your known preferences. Google knows more about you than YOU do…so why not let them help you shop. Think the algorithm knows it’s neary Xmas and that you still have gifts to buy? Is that the dumbest f—ing question ever?
Forgive the awful aesthetics seen here while I put the finishing touches on more pressing WIPs.
Lots of music reviews, movie madness, tech reviews, cringe humor and the prose you hate to love is coming back on a regular basis with a vengeance so don’t trip-out on that dear reader.
“We” (I keep acting like there’s a team behind this juvenile artistic endeavor) will also be presenting a year-end tech review…we’ll pay tribute to all the devices that were damaged, lost, destroyed or taken prisoner (clipped) in the line of duty to bring Tapper-creative content straight to your dome all year long.

…a personal thanks to the people BESIDES ME who really DO help make it happen and the bloggers who qualified for my upcoming SHORTLIST: Tapper7.com’s “Blogs that don’t suck 2014.”

I’ve reviewed almost 4500 blogs this year for comparison, education and because I get REALLY BORED and LONELY sometimes….regardless, I’ve located about five…..FIVE!!! Count ’em FIVE blogs that are informative, creative, original, have a nice design, are NOT a scam and NOT completely full of shit.
We will honor and highlight those blogs because, well this is MY blog and I’m the shot-caller HERE if nowhere else….I also want to spread “the good-good” since all year I mostly just put “the all-bad” on f—ing BLAST.”
We MAY also put businesses, Web sites, people and places on BLAST for f-ing me, someone else or society over…just to stir up some s—.
….haven’t decided what to call THAT list yet.**UPDATE – Negative articles ON HOLD till holidays close, be ready though, this list would make my ol’ neighbor Dick Nixon VERY PROUD.” (Except for the not-keeping-it-a-secret-part). F— it.
No matter…thx for YOUR patronage most of all. If you enjoyed this site in 2014 – 2015’s going to keep you informed, entertained and maybe even laughing, SLIGHTLY MORE THAN 2014 DID!

There WILL be lots of music and movie-related comment and commentary.
The Podcast WILL launch or I’ll die trying.
Drum Corps will be visited and revisited and beat to death as usual.
If law enforcement fucks with me, you or anyone else, I WILL REPORT IT. Just like 2014…OCSD ON BLAST! (Nice time to shoot a black guy at HOLLYWOOD AND HIGHLAND BTW ….fucking LAPD man…..)…let’s get all mixed-up in the NY/Boston/Chicago/St.Louis race-baiting-racist-above-the-law-COP-fucking BULLSHIT cuz in LA….things go GREAT when the black population [overtly shit on constantly] loses their collective tempers, doesn’t it? hmmmm?
Rodney King, Watts, … Reginald Denny’s brick-to-the-kisser at Florence & Normandy? Yeah…let’s DO THAT AGAIN.<–sarcasm
OCSD, LAPD, SLOPD, OCDA, SLODA….you suck. [MOST OF YOU]: You’re awful. Incompetent, Incapable, Corrupt, Racist, Trigger-Happy, sneaky, full of shit and I sincerely hope you get AIDs in 2015 if you haven’t been diagnosed yet.
Oh yeah…that’s what I wanted to say…especially with the ultimate demise of The OnA Show and the fervor with which all humorists miss one of our own…one of our best. He’s black too. <= and would’ve loved that joke.
Patrice O’Neal…RIP Big Dawg. In HIS HONOR-THERE WILL BE AIDS JOKES.
And to the Japanese high command that bombed the hell out of Pearl Harbor 73 years ago…how’d that work out for ya? Get a nice face-full of Oak Ridge Laboratories and The United States Marine Corps? Ya DID didn’t ya?

Semper Fi.

Adverts.js test -or- How to fix truncated Javascript in WP.

A picture of the www.goto.com logo

Subtitle: How to fix a WP crash remotely using FTP.

synban: script keeeps truncating right half of .js embedded content. **Update 12/14 – fixed.**
***Update Dec. 2014*** PHP Flush did the trick…thx Cuz.***

Start by dumping that theme you love so much: bad news…like me you had a few OCD breaks w/ reality and overdid the CSS/JS/HTML4-5 editing to “pretty it up” it’s ok I did it too

1. Choose a new and dressed-down theme.
2. Crack a book on CSS or goto the only free tutorial sponsored by the w3c: and use their CSS Roadmap.
3. Backup your WP data, I suggest an FTP client. You may need to contact your host-server for admin and file-swapNswitch capabilities.
4. Backup your current themes/fxns/data and style before you tear it up. One pHp syntax error and it’s CURTAINS-then you WILL need FTP to get it back up n runnin’
5. If you are not qualified; have your kid do it.

***I owe it to my sponsors to make sure they have access to all of Google’s std lib. of adTypes, so you’ll see mostly ads in this post. This is only a test but the sponsor data displayed is no less relevant.****

***Update Dec. 2014 – 728px exceeds width oftext box. WIP***
Sponsor .js test Horizontal Basic 728×90 follows:
**UPDATE**  dec2014a : 728×90 no good for posts, footer/header only. Ad removed.

Btw after all that shit Content ID put me through for no reason?
May as well fire back:
If you know how to use t0awr@ntz…script:
Xsh%>run \t ^^^^^
Xsh%>browser “HYPTXXfercntrlPrtcll// the(Yarrrrrr!!!!)DOTessee”
Xsh%>inject pr0n.getName || flick.getName || whatevuhz
Xsh%>queryDB
Xsh%>hash etz string[]* argvector V
DO: Raise middle finger in the direction of your choice.

Synchronous Advertisement Test 320×100 follows:


Asynchronous Advertisement Test 320×100 follows: 
**TEST TBC…** Special shoutout to our generous and well-respected advertisers….check ’em out…they were designed FOR you WHEN you visit MY site. The algorithm was written by Goto.com a decade ago, still in use and as close to an AI (Artificially Intelligent) program I have seen to date. GoTo retired on the settlement $ w/ Google. Plz scope out their site; I used it quite often in college.

Credit where credit is due: visit GoTo for searches and to find a nice gift for loved one.goto.com is Tapper7 approved safe, secure, honest and NOT a scam – just legit and hyper-talented webdevs.

“They’re payin’ for it… YOU EAT IT!!!” Another war story from the front lines @DCI

a gif showing a famous scene from "Full Metal Jacket" Leonard eats his doughnut while the MC recruits shup.

Subtitle: The guy from 89 BD who f—— up the solo on Finals Night. An update.
“When are you gonna post the link about the 89-guy?” OK OK OK … on behalf of the publisher, the editor would like to apologize for the writer who keeps giving the readers what they want…Drum Corps News, Reviews and “Tales of Yore!
Let the West Coast Legacy live for all time…even it’s …….regretable moments. All I’m sayin’ is…I’M NOT THE ONE WHO INSISTS THAT WE WATCH the chum-fest during “If We Were In Love” which is my favorite ballad of all time, at EVERY FUCKING GET-TOGETHER, #amirite? heheh…  the fuckup is NOT posted on this site and you maniacs that don’t have the 1,000 DVD set or a mountain of old VHS tapes and/or bootlegs…use your noodle and search Youtube….the search terms should be obvious…find it there.
(Confession: the troll who tacked “keyboard-cat” on as a stinger – you are unoriginal and an asshole, but you made me laugh so +1 …dick).
Let me also credit the rest of the corps, Including John and Tim Meehan, Rich Skare and scores of others who were SPOT ON Saturday Night…just like every other night.
Click on the truncated pages to read them as PDFs, you may need to use the lil magnifying glass to make it readable.
My apologies, but Office 365 and WP don’t talk to each other all that well. I blame Microsoft.

"I chum them" Nerrr....
chummin it live in  89.pg2
What happens now that’s he’s prob. out? Well Halpern is on PAROLE – jail w/o the bars…one tiny f—up and it’s automatic 90 days in County Jail (SC County? hopefully he moved away…) It’s 45 days, Felons call it a “Flash.” It is compared to “Three-to-Five”
In short – as if he hadn’t fucked over the people and music that made up one of my all-time fav. shows and my all-time fav. ballad…he clipped $800 LARGE that a couple about to divorce entrusted him to keep safe while they hammered out the details of who got what.
Did Halpern keep that $800G’s safe? Nope…he spent it.
The Merc was kind enough to say he put $ “into his failing practice…” ask me and what I know? Most of that mtn. of cash went to a casino. And that’s that.

Fuck you Dan Halpern.
Fuck you for getting high b4 Finals.
Fuck you for chumming your big solo that Wayne, Jack and others trusted you to nail.
Fuck you for jamming their wisdom and guidance in their faces with weak-sauce and irresponsibility.
Fuck you for being the reason BDs “Through the yrs” recordings use 89 as the ONE YEAR they play Semis instead of Game Night cuz you are such an embarrassment.
And now…fuck you for jacking 800 boxes of ziti from a couple w/ a divorce in-process.
JUST….FUCK YOU DUDE.

Mr Halpern, you’ve qualified for the official Tapper7.com shit-list and it’s accompanied to-do list: ($1 to Greg Hughes and Jim Norton)
-STEP ONE: Get AIDs
-STEP TWO: Die.

-STEP THREE: There is no step 3, rpt 1 until you get it then move on to step 2.

In fairness to BD; let us not act like the Red Team is w/o it’s regrettable alumni-list.
Semi’s night-ballad is posted below in all fairness to the staff and members who are NOT Daniel Halpern, Attorney-at-Law (ret.) Don’t count his bs alongside the eloquent beauty of arrangements by Wayne Downey and Tom Float, nor against striking performances by the Meehan Bros., and the Left-Coast Drum Corps Family as a whole…we have bad eggs, but our good eggs BURY the four I KNOW turned rotten. So Halpern is on blast….(Tapper muses to himself) Do I out the SCV alum who almost beat his wife to death or the kid-toucher? OR the alleged (*sigh*…also SCV alum) rapist? maybe after the holidays.
“IF WE WERE IN LOVE” FRIDAY, August…1989: enjoy and forget the bs… just crank it.